advice

How to meet boys: According to an old school comic

Comically Vintage is probably worthy of its own tumblrweed post. But in a chicken v egg situation I feel compelled to offer this single serving of that single serving tumblr.

Literally a comical guide to meeting boys.

In case you can’t make the picture bigger (hint, click here)… here are the top options:

1. School.
2. Church.
3. Community.
4. Blind dates.
5. Family friends.

Well. Simple. There you have it. I’d say that, broadly speaking, covers just about all the options except work and Bible college.

Fake ID

Rules for public Christianity 101 – If you’re going to put a stupid Jesus fish on your car – don’t put it under a massive advertisement for your fake ID business.

Want faith with that?
Want faith with that?

Clearly the guy behind this business isn’t the smartest cookie in the Cookie Man store (mmm cookie man, incidently Townsville has a combined Cookie Man and Baskin-Robbins the two nicest smelling franchises in the world)… anyway. If you’re going to have a Jesus fish on your car:

  1. Don’t advertise an illegal enterprise.
  2. Don’t swear when a light turns red (in case of lip readers).
  3. Don’t speed.
  4. Don’t partake in road rage.
  5. Don’t tailgate.
  6. Don’t honk your horn.
  7. Don’t extend your middle finger in another driver’s direction.
  8. Don’t talk on your mobile phone.
  9. Don’t cut in front of anyone.
  10. Make sure you give way to pedestrians, let other people in at busy intersections, and let people change lanes when they’re indicating.

These are all reasons not for me to put a stupid Jesus fish sticker on my car. And probably for you not to put one on yours. Here are some reasons you shouldn’t have a Jesus Fish on your car from urban dictionary. If you want people to know you’re a Christian – tell them the gospel. Or wear a good novelty T-Shirt.

Dangerous book for boys

Nine year old Alex Greven is putting out a self help book for guys called “How to talk to girls”. Advice from a nine year old with no experience may be a bitter pill to swallow. But here are some quotes from Alex (via the SMH)

On brains v brawn

“You want the girl to notice you,” he writes. “But you don’t want to draw too much attention to yourself or she will think you are a crazy madman who doesn’t even know where his brain is.”

He says it is important not to be a show-off.

But it is good to be the smartest boy in the class, because “girls will be prowling at your feet”.

On grooming

“Comb your hair and don’t wear sweats. Control your hyperness (cut down on the sugar if you have to). Don’t act desperate.”

On pretty girls

He warned boys to be wary of “pretty girls”.

“It is easy to spot pretty girls because they have big earrings, fancy dresses and all the jewellery … pretty girls are like cars that need a lot of oil,” he writes in chapter three.

On heartbreak

“Sometimes, you get a girl to like you, then she ditches you. Life is hard, move on!”

“Or sometimes it doesn’t work out. I had a crush on a girl in preschool. Then my family had to move, so I had to let her wash out of my mind.”

“About 73 per cent of regular girls ditch boys; 98 per cent of pretty girls ditch boys.”

“If you do get a girl to like you, that is victory. Winning victory is a dream for most boys, but it is very rare.”

The boy is clearly a genius.

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