# Tag: aliens

## Hacking Hawkings

I hereby launch a conspiracy theory into the wild.

Respected theoretical physicist Stephen Hawking has a degenerative muscle disease that means he communicates with the aid of a machine.

In recent weeks Hawking has made two slightly controversial claims – claims that if not made by a respected theoretical physicist would be laughed off as science fiction. Firstly, he claimed that we shouldn’t seek aliens out because they’re unlikely to be friendly. Secondly, he suggested that time travel is possible under certain parameters.

I think that it is plausible that some science fiction geeks have hacked into Hawking’s computerised voice box forcing him to make such outlandish claims.

## Man pens mathematical theory of singleness, gets girlfriend

You can get a PhD writing about just about anything these days. But applying an obscure mathematical theory about the probability of the existence of alien life to the question of your own singleness would appear to be about the limit. Surely.

But that’s what Peter Backus did. He took the Drake Equation – a mathematical analysis of the chance that alien life exists – to decide that there were only about 26 girls who would make appropriate partners for him in all of the United Kingdom.

The Drake Equation (penned in 1961 by Dr. Frank Drake) says N = R* x Fp x Ne x Fi x Fc x L. I’m not sure what that means, but it found that there could be 10,000 civilizations in our galaxy.

The Backus iteration of the Drake equation had the following findings:

His equation looked at the total number of women in the country, then narrowed it down using relevant factors including the number of women in London; the number of “age-appropriate” women (those aged between 24-34); women with a college degree; and those who Backus would find physically attractive.

In the paper Backus summarized that on a given night out in London there is a 0.0000034 percent chance of meeting a woman that meets his criteria and who is also interested in him. That makes his odds of finding a girlfriend only about 100 times better than finding an alien.

You can read his thesis here (pdf).

In a random turn of events he now has a girlfriend who meets all his criteria.

## The real food chain

Despite what you might have learned in school – we are not on top

## Vatican readying evangelistic mission to outer space

Sometimes the Vatican do dumb things in the name of science. Like condemning scientists for their views on the position of the earth in relation to the cosmos…

It seems they’re trying to distance themselves from their historical shackles. How far can one distance themselves from this sort of stupidity? About as far as the galaxy reaches.

The Catholic Church really is the Empire.

“Four hundred years after it locked up Galileo for challenging the view that the Earth was the center of the universe, the Vatican has called in experts to study the possibility of extraterrestrial alien life and its implication for the Catholic Church.”

The Vatican scientist coordinating the summit had this to say…

“If biology is not unique to the Earth, or life elsewhere differs bio-chemically from our version, or we ever make contact with an intelligent species in the vastness of space, the implications for our self-image will be profound,” he said.

I would suggest, that biblically speaking, Christ died for mankind. You know. Humans. The ones made in God’s image. I think that’s where self image comes from. Isn’t it?

## Aliens on holidays

What would happen if aliens took over all our picture perfect holiday destinations?

Something like this. Franco Brambilla took a series of postcards of popular spots and inserted aliens.

## TV is crap, aliens told me so

According to this diagram aliens are listening to Music is Crap by Custard at about 40 Eridani – they’re also watching a whole bunch of rubbish television throughout the galaxy.