carbon neutral

Saturday night television

We’re having a night in tonight. Tomorrow night we’re heading up the Paluma range to the much celebrated Hidden Valley Cabins. Australia’s first carbon neutral, solar powered tourism operator. I guess staying there is like buying a carbon indulgence. We should probably turn the aircon down a couple of degrees. We’ve got friends coming to town from Sydney and I’m taking Monday off. That will be nice. 

I have left my coffee machine on all day – so that’s churned out the carbon. 

My sermon is done. I think. I haven’t printed it yet so there’s always time for revisions. Robyn is playing poker on Facebook – and for some reason two of us playing simultaneously seems to kill its performance. .

So I find myself faced with Saturday’s incredibly lacklustre lineup of television programming. I remember a time when Saturday was the be all and end all of TV scheduling. I am probably biased in Saturday’s favour base on my parent’s obsession with The Bill.

Carbon Dating

STA travel has jumped on the climate change bandwagon with the sale of carbon neutralised round the world travel packages. For just $260 you can travel the world guilt free with the knowledge that you’re doing your bit for the environment by cancelling out your portion of carbon emissions from the trip.

Carbon neutralisation is all the rage, my high school science education taught me that photosynthesis is the process by which trees turn carbon dioxide into oxygen. Planting trees strikes me as an environmentally and scientifically sound method of making activities carbon neutral. I can’t help but think that this is all a bit of a rort designed to prey on the environmentally gullible. I will not be carbon neutralising my flights any time soon, I may invest in a pot plant or two to do my bit for the environment. Carbon trading is an interesting economic concept – and the idea that heavy industry will be able to buy other business’s carbon points to cover their excess emitions strikes me as more than a little odd, why not try to cut down emissions? Anyway, as I’ve indicated, I’m no scientist, nor am I an economist, I am however a PR machine and an ideas man… and so I give you the latest of my get rich quick schemes which is almost guaranteed to succeed while preying on the gullible…

The only thing I can think of that’s as popular currently as carbon trading schemes is internet dating. A number of my colleagues are registered with various internet dating sites including and similar online hook-up joints. It strikes me that this is a further opportunity for de-carbonisation – another would be removing the carbon from carbonated soft drinks… I give you Carbon Dating – in fact, I gave it to via their “Suggestions and Feedback” form with the following email, I will let you know if I get a response:

Hello friends at RSVP,
I’m not currently looking for a date, nor have I used internet dating services in the past. I know people who have and congratulate you on providing such an essential service.
In this age of environmental responsibility and carbon trading I would like to make a suggestion which may allow you to tap into a new niche market of clients – Carbon Dating. I would suggest that you offer in your membership packages, the chance for new and existing members to carbon neutralise their dates – maybe suggest tree planting or light bulb installing as great first date options… the possibilities are endless. Not only would this be a terrific PR activity (I believe it would be a world first), but it would also be a chance to demonstrate your commitment to tackling climate change.
I have several ideas for how this could be implemented further and would be more than happy to come on board as a consultant. I will be keeping records of this correspondence to demonstrate intellectual property ownership and look forward to discussing this with you in the future. I believe this could be the greatest single step towards responsible dating since the introduction of contraception.
I can be contacted initially by email at the above address and look forward to your return correspondence.
Thank you for your time.

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