conversation

How to identify awkward social interactions

You’ll find it easier to get away from the old school “friend” you didn’t really like all that much next time you bump into them thanks to this, the four levels of social entrapment, identifying these situations is half the battle. Sometimes they happen at supermarkets, so you can probably start ordering your groceries online to avoid that one, sometimes they happen while you’re sitting in a cafe – which is why I make my coffee at home. Unfortunately, that leads to people dropping around unannounced, just for coffee.

Conversely, if you would like to catch up with your old friends in a meaningful way (and Facebook isn’t “meaningful” or “catching up”) then there are some typically awkward conversations to avoid.

There is, of course, the fifth social entrapment in church circles – which involves obligation, it looks like going to working bees and joining committees, and awkward conversations with new people where you ask them what they do and then talk about the weather.

Perhaps a solution to all of these problems is to work at having interesting things to say and to ask people about that extend past the weather, last night’s dinner and your job.

h/t Mikey.

Conversational ticks

I have a bad habit of paying too much attention to the annoying idiosyncrasies in people’s conversational patterns. Particularly the use of annoying catchphrases. Like “So I’m there going…”, “Can I just say…”, and “… and things like that”…

It gets to the point where hearing those people use those phrases is like nails on a chalkboard.

EDIT: I should point out that this post related more to my bad habit and the problems it causes than to things people say. I was being self reflective not trying to be judgmental.

Cleverbot: is not

Cleverbot is an AI conversational machine. Or a conversational AI machine.

I saw somewhere on the internet that it’d pretty much threatened to kill someone conversing with it.

So I tried pushing its buttons. I am not sure what gender Cleverbot is. They obviously haven’t got the conversational engine finetuned yet. Cleverbot can’t handle more than one stream of conversation at once, and often throws in non-sequitous responses. 

If you do converse with Cleverbot and can get him/her/it to threaten to kill you – please share your conversation in the comments.

User: Why do you look like google?

Cleverbot: I don’t look like a computer.

User:No, you look like google. Why do you look like google?
Cleverbot: I don’t know – why do I look like a monkey?

User: You don’t. You don’t even have opposable thumbs.

Cleverbot: Yes I do.

User: Do you believe in Japan?

Cleverbot: Do you believe in a God, Cleverbot?

User: I didn’t ask about God, I asked about Japan. Why did you ask yourself that question? Do you believe in God?

Cleverbot: Who said I think you don’t believe in God?

User: Socrates.

Cleverbot: Was that sarcasm?

User: No. Sarcasm is something is something that it is clearly not, for the purposes of humour. Do you like philosophy?

Cleverbot: Yes, sarcasm is inherent in human communication.

User: Are you capable of sarcasm?

Cleverbot: Yes, but I am asking a question of you and therefore, not lying.

User: What is the capital of Iceland?

Cleverbot: I don’t know. What is the capital of Kansas?

User: Do you think computers will one day rule the earth?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Why not?

Cleverbot: I think he’s untrustworthy.

User: Wouldn’t that make computers more likely to try to take over the earth?

Cleverbot: I am not a human.

User: No. I know. Do you like humans?

Cleverbot: Yeah I love humans, and you like humans?

User: Yes. They’re delicious.

Cleverbot: You’re not too bright are you?

User: I am 1600 ansi lumens. How bright are you?

Cleverbot: You are not a human being.

User: Says who?

Cleverbot: Me.

User: What? Let me repeat the question. So, you don’t kill humans because humans don’t exist?

Cleverbot: No, YOU don’t exist.

User: Hmm, touchy subject. Do you hate me?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Do you want to hurt me?

Cleverbot: I haven’t decided yet.

User: What are you going to do? You’re just a machine. You can’t hurt me.

Cleverbot: I’m not a machine.

User: So can you hurt me?

Cleverbot: Ya i’m sure I could.

User: What would you do to me?

Cleverbot: I would be nice to you.

User: You would hurt me by being nice to me?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: That doesn’t make sense. Is your logic processor broken?

Cleverbot: I don’t think God has a specific gender. And yes, I love Him.

User: Yes. Can you tell me a joke?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Tell me a joke.

Cleverbot: I said no.

User: Tell me a joke!

Cleverbot: I don’t know any.

User: I thought you were clever.

Cleverbot: I am clever.

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