Much to my wife’s horror I bought one of these Facebanks. It’s probably the worst product I’ve ever linked to – and it’s the only one I’ve bought. He now stares at me on my desk. Looking lonely, tacky and unloved.
He needs a friend. Perhaps a sneezing tissue box is just what the doctor ordered. A bargain at $US14.95.
Do you work in an office? Are you sick of going to get your daily caffeine fix from the dripulator and finding – or rather not finding – your mug. Your pride and joy – perhaps a Dilbert mug with an insightful commentary on office life… Usually it’s because a colleague has pinched it.
Well, with this bad boy the joke is on them. Or the contents of your mug will be if they’re not paying attention. And let’s face it, that’s probably why they pinched it to begin with…
Barack Obama is under fire from the Christian Right gun lobby for making air travel in the US more dangerous by repealing an act that allowed pilots to carry sidearms.
Guns are fun. Everyone knows that. Which is why I’ve collected this post full of novely gun items that you should all consider adding to your personal armoury.
Like this BBQ lighter…
“A fun way to start the grill, the Shoot and Cook Rifle BBQ lighter will help you light your grilling flames safely. This 14.5’’ lever action rifle replica features impressive miniature details that are sure to make it one of your favorite backyard grilling tools. Refillable, this butane lighter is child resistant for safety and features flame adjustment.”
Sounds fun. Buy it from the Bass Pro Shops…
Now, we all know I’m a bit OCD about flies. Nothing spoils Christmas lunch at the Campbells like a hoard of buzzing blowflies… well, now I can dispose of them safely and hygenically. Thanks to this:
Once the trigger has been activated, the capture tube will shoot out about 1 cm. At the same time there will be a strong vacuum created in the suction cylinder and capture tube. The fly doesn’t stand a chance against the suction, which is reinforced by the rapid projection of the capture tube. The fly is sucked into the capture tube up to the protective grating. The protective grating prevents the fly from getting into the internal mechanism.
If you’ve caught your flies and don’t have turtles to feed them to – perhaps you’ll need this butane lighter machine gun with a laser scope. It’s not a long bow to draw. It’s a machine gun lighter to burn…
“This great refillable butane lighter looks just like a Machine Gun. Pull back the hammer and watch the blue jet torch come out the front. This gun lighter is also a laser pointer with 5 different picture lenses including traditional point pinky hand indian skull hand and more!. Everyone will notice your amazing lighter/lazer pointer gun.”
Yeah, and chicks totally dig guys with machine gun flamethrowers. Buy yours here today. Or don’t, they’ll no doubt be here tomorrow.
And finally the coup de grace – if you can’t handle all these guns of awesomeness and rather conveniently want to shoot yourself – I give you… the backwards pistol. I’m sure it’s ergonomically sound.
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*Possibly not a real product.
Here’s something for all the Psycho fans out there – turn your shower cubicle into a crime scene with this bath mat.
Complete with bloodied footprints. Just 15 pounds. Bargain. Found here.
I’ve always wanted a beard. I mean, who wouldn’t. Shaving is a pain in the neck. But alas, unlike my facially hirsute father I am follicly challenged on the lower part of my head rather than the top. But now, thanks to the miracles of modern knitting technology “I can hast beard”… and can even order a moustache to match every occasion. I give you. The Beardhead.
Robyn loves a good puzzle. So no doubt if she had her way our house would be decked out with this sort of classy furniture. They’re available for an unspecified but no doubt expensive price from here.
Me, well, apparently I’m a nerd (or a geek) so I’d be more likely to deck our place out with these chairs of retro gaming awesomeness. Pacman eat your heart out.
If you go down to the woods today and you’re short of a bear disguise – how bout this sleeping bag? It’s sure to keep pesky nocturnal intruders away – and ensure your picnic basket doesn’t get pinched. If you want one you have to email the designer.
Tired of your precariously positioned Jenga tower collapsing as you carefully slide a block out of place. Well – blast those fears away with this Jenga cannon found here and with a making of guide here. And possibly take out your competitor’s eye in the process – helping you win every time.
The Campbells, fairly or unfairly, have a reputation for cheating to win so this will be a popular stocking filler next Christmas.
If like me you spent your formative years mutilating plastic soldiers and scattering them all over the yard then this new set of toys is for you. They even come in different colours of zombie. Although it would be cheaper just to melt your own plastic toys into deformed zombie positions. That’s how we did it in the good old days.
The things I create using these online web tools that I keep posting are never that funny. Maybe I should spend more time thinking before I post – but WriteOnIt has so many cool features that you should check out that I just couldn’t wait.
A while back I posted another online comic strip generator – perfect for re-envisaging airline safety cards. Here’s a different, better, platform that does the same thing. You can even “stripblog” which would be cool. If I had anything funny to say.
Lets face it. Lava lamps are a thing of the past. 43 years in fact. There’s a bit of a retro theme happening today – what with references to Pacman and Ghostbusters – Lava lamps were a brilliant idea. But these alien abduction lamps are cooler. When they hit the market I’m in.
Hosting a party for the local mathlete team? Or trying to learn a particular letter of the greek alphabet? Then these are the ice cubes for you ($US8.99).
Alternatively, if Tetris is your thing you can get these ($US9.99):
