Son of a gun

Barack Obama is under fire from the Christian Right gun lobby for making air travel in the US more dangerous by repealing an act that allowed pilots to carry sidearms.

Guns are fun. Everyone knows that. Which is why I’ve collected this post full of novely gun items that you should all consider adding to your personal armoury.

Like this BBQ lighter

“A fun way to start the grill, the Shoot and Cook Rifle BBQ lighter will help you light your grilling flames safely. This 14.5’’ lever action rifle replica features impressive miniature details that are sure to make it one of your favorite backyard grilling tools. Refillable, this butane lighter is child resistant for safety and features flame adjustment.”

Sounds fun. Buy it from the Bass Pro Shops

Now, we all know I’m a bit OCD about flies. Nothing spoils Christmas lunch at the Campbells like a hoard of buzzing blowflies… well, now I can dispose of them safely and hygenically. Thanks to this:


Once the trigger has been activated, the capture tube will shoot out about 1 cm. At the same time there will be a strong vacuum created in the suction cylinder and capture tube. The fly doesn’t stand a chance against the suction, which is reinforced by the rapid projection of the capture tube. The fly is sucked into the capture tube up to the protective grating. The protective grating prevents the fly from getting into the internal mechanism.

Fly Goodbye.

If you’ve caught your flies and don’t have turtles to feed them to – perhaps you’ll need this butane lighter machine gun with a laser scope. It’s not a long bow to draw. It’s a machine gun lighter to burn

“This great refillable butane lighter looks just like a Machine Gun. Pull back the hammer and watch the blue jet torch come out the front. This gun lighter is also a laser pointer with 5 different picture lenses including traditional point pinky hand indian skull hand and more!. Everyone will notice your amazing lighter/lazer pointer gun.”

Yeah, and chicks totally dig guys with machine gun flamethrowers. Buy yours here today. Or don’t, they’ll no doubt be here tomorrow.

And finally the coup de grace – if you can’t handle all these guns of awesomeness and rather conveniently want to shoot yourself – I give you… the backwards pistol. I’m sure it’s ergonomically sound.
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*Possibly not a real product.

The author

Nathan runs St Eutychus. He loves Jesus. His wife. His daughter. His son. His other daughter. His dog. Coffee. And the Internet. He is the campus pastor at Creek Road South Bank, a graduate of Queensland Theological College (M. Div) and the Queensland University of Technology (B. Journ). He spent a significant portion of his pre-ministry-as-a-full-time-job life working in Public Relations, and now loves promoting Jesus in Brisbane and online. He can't believe how great it is that people pay him to talk and think about Jesus.