Tag: farting

Breaking News: The headline this story just had to have

I’ve just become a wanted criminal in at least one country should I ever visit it. Just ask my wife…

Apparently serial farters in Malawi are going to be in big trouble. The country is cracking down on passing gas. Since the Daily Mail broke the story on January 28 the Internet has gone into a little bit of meltdown as people crack wise about the proposed law – which aims to make better and more thoughtful citizens.

“One Malawian told the website Africanews.com: ‘My goodness. What happens in a public place where a group is gathered. Do they lock up half a minibus?

‘And how about at meetings where it is difficult to pinpoint ‘culprits’?

‘Children will openly deny having passed bad air and point at an elder. Culturally, this is very embarrassing,’ she said.”

What a story. This is what responsible government looks like people.

Marriage advice for real men

I don’t often give marriage advice. I’ve only been married 2.5 years, it would be silly for me to make a habit of it… I like to think of myself as a plain speaker, someone who doesn’t beat around the bush. So if frank discussions of natural bodily functions offend you then it’s best you look to the left now, that’s where the edifying stuff is anyway…

Lets face it. Real men pass gas. It’s true. And wives typically don’t enjoy Dutch Ovens or farts in the bedroom (or anywhere). It can be a real point of contention. Your gas can come between you. Don’t let it. I know it’s the most natural thing in the world. Farting is a God given privilege. It’s why we are anatomically constructed the way we are. If your flatulence is threatening your marriage then you need one of these fart inhibiting blankets. The Better Marriage Blanket comes complete with an activated carbon layer.

Completely & Quickly Absorbs The Odor Of Flatulence

  • A real solution to a very real problem
  • Contains the same type of fabric used by the military to protect against chemical weapons
  • Even works on top of bed sheets
  • Makes a great wedding or anniversary gift too