Flies time: Clock powered by fly blood

This is brilliant. It’s like a venus fly clock. It’s the creation of mad scientists Auger and Loizeau. Eight dead flies equals 12 days of clock power.

“This robot uses flypaper as it’s means of entrapment. This paper is placed on a roller mechanism. At the base of the roller a scraper removes any captured insects. These fall into the microbial fuel cell placed underneath. The electricity generated by the flies is used to power both a motor turning the rollers and a small LCD clock.”

I hate flies. But this is a step closer to robots taking over the world and feeding on humans. Just saying.

If you don’t believe me, here’s proof, these robots need blood…

Carnivorous Domestic Entertainment Robots from Auger-Loizeau on Vimeo.

Five things that annoy me

In no particular order.

  1. Interjections in lectures that are “questions” that end up being statements, that end up being reiterations of the thing we’ve just been covering. Though I suspect my constant stream of stupid comments, puns and dad jokes are just as annoying.
  2. People who park in clearways. One day I will run into one of these cars to see who is at fault legally.
  3. Comment moderation and word verification on blogs. I am statistically less likely to comment on your blog if I don’t see my comment straight away (so that I know it has worked) and if I don’t have to jump through stupid steps to get it there.
  4. That the people who invented the Greek language didn’t just stick with one set of paradigms for nouns, one set for verbs and one set for adjectives.
  5. Flies. I hate flies. I killed about 20 in our kitchen this afternoon. Luckily we have a resident frog who will eat the flies I offer on the little table I’ve set up for him in a fishtank on my desk.

Flying off the handle

Did you see it? Obama. Killed. A. Fly. With his bare hands. My hatred for flies is well documented. And now, when I’m home for Christmas, I’ll be able to use the presidential defense when I swat a fly with my hands…

More significantly – Obama is a ninja. Check it out.

This little piece of karate awesomeness (sans chopsticks) has earned Obama the ire of PETA. As if he didn’t have enough to worry about.

PETA’s blog – called the “PETA Files” (as if we needed any more evidence that they’re a massive joke foisted on us by the ultra right) – loudly condemned the President – and the story has received global attention.

They’re sending him one of these awful fly catchers – who needs one of these when you have such awesome ninja skills.

“Simply place Katcha Bug over the bug and slowly slide its plastic trapdoor shut. The bug will step onto the trapdoor as it closes, and you can carry Katcha Bug outside, where all you need to do is slide the trap door open, allowing the bug to walk away. “

Here’s what PETA said – it’s a bit of a beat up – but still, it’s worth learning that if you want to be taken seriously you need to pick your battles.

“Believe it or not, we’ve actually been contacted by multiple media outlets wanting to know PETA’s official response to the executive insect execution,” a blog on the group’s website explained. “In a nutshell, our position is this: He isn’t the Buddha, he’s a human being, and human beings have a long way to go before they think before they act.”

Message to flies: DELETED!

I hate flies. It gets me in lots of trouble. Particularly when I kill them using my bare hands. It’s easy when you know how – and here’s a high tech study into the matter… and a tip from an expert:

“You shouldn’t swat where you see them. You should anticipate that they’re going to jump away from you. So you should extend your swat in the direction of the fly’s anticipated motion.”

Anyway, here’s a new little product from Fred and Friends… it’s sure to save me some troubles next Christmas lunch.

Son of a gun

Barack Obama is under fire from the Christian Right gun lobby for making air travel in the US more dangerous by repealing an act that allowed pilots to carry sidearms.

Guns are fun. Everyone knows that. Which is why I’ve collected this post full of novely gun items that you should all consider adding to your personal armoury.

Like this BBQ lighter

“A fun way to start the grill, the Shoot and Cook Rifle BBQ lighter will help you light your grilling flames safely. This 14.5’’ lever action rifle replica features impressive miniature details that are sure to make it one of your favorite backyard grilling tools. Refillable, this butane lighter is child resistant for safety and features flame adjustment.”

Sounds fun. Buy it from the Bass Pro Shops

Now, we all know I’m a bit OCD about flies. Nothing spoils Christmas lunch at the Campbells like a hoard of buzzing blowflies… well, now I can dispose of them safely and hygenically. Thanks to this:

Once the trigger has been activated, the capture tube will shoot out about 1 cm. At the same time there will be a strong vacuum created in the suction cylinder and capture tube. The fly doesn’t stand a chance against the suction, which is reinforced by the rapid projection of the capture tube. The fly is sucked into the capture tube up to the protective grating. The protective grating prevents the fly from getting into the internal mechanism.

Fly Goodbye.

If you’ve caught your flies and don’t have turtles to feed them to – perhaps you’ll need this butane lighter machine gun with a laser scope. It’s not a long bow to draw. It’s a machine gun lighter to burn

“This great refillable butane lighter looks just like a Machine Gun. Pull back the hammer and watch the blue jet torch come out the front. This gun lighter is also a laser pointer with 5 different picture lenses including traditional point pinky hand indian skull hand and more!. Everyone will notice your amazing lighter/lazer pointer gun.”

Yeah, and chicks totally dig guys with machine gun flamethrowers. Buy yours here today. Or don’t, they’ll no doubt be here tomorrow.

And finally the coup de grace – if you can’t handle all these guns of awesomeness and rather conveniently want to shoot yourself – I give you… the backwards pistol. I’m sure it’s ergonomically sound.

*Possibly not a real product.

Fly Plane

This is pretty funny. Unfortunately it didn’t work. I hate flies to an almost obsessive compulsive level. 

This guy documented his attempts to get the little blighters doing something useful. Flying this:

Then he tried with bees. This could be the first time I remember sanctioning animal cruelty on this blog. I hate flies.

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