geeks

iPad critics should take a tablet

Aha. Worst. Pun. Ever.

An open letter to whinging geeks,

Whinge. Whinge. Whinge. It seems the more of a tech geek you are the more you don’t like the Apple iPad. It doesn’t do what you want it to do. So it’s a bad device. Wrong. It’s a good device precisely because it’s simple and it will revolutionise the way the rest of the tech world (ie “normal people”) do things online, and read media. You think too small.

You know what. Nobody makes hardware for hardcore geeks. They know you just want to pull it apart, overclock it, or install pirated software. All I hear about from my geek friends, and tech geek blogs, is that the iPad is a terrible piece of equipment and Apple are the anti-tech. Apple have pretty strick policies about what can and can’t be installed on their phones, and now on the iPad. I say good on them. They know their stuff best. Perhaps they don’t want you to install background apps because they’ll slow the processing speed of your phone down and ruin its performance. And then you’ll complain. Because you’re (geeks) whingers. They say (or at least Steve Jobs does) that part of their rationale is to keep pornography out of the hands of children (and adults) and I commend them for that.

Apple didn’t invent the super duper tablet computer that you were wishing for as you sat on Santa’s knee last year. But so what. You’re not their market. You’re such a small corner of the market that you are insignificant, and you’ll probably buy one anyway, just so that you can whinge about it not living up to your expectations. It’s their call. They’re a company. They have responsibilites to shareholders (and customers) to make products that make money. They make money when people want to buy their stuff. People want to buy Apple’s stuff. They’re pretty good at what they do.

If you want a tablet computer that meets your needs – build it yourself. Oh that’s right. You can’t. You’re not capable of fitting everything they do into a manageable size. You’re all talk. For now, you should just obey these ten commandments (when the iPad reaches Australian shores)…

Robots with… stuff

So, you like robots?

That’s probably a pick up line about as likely to get a teenage geek anywhere as just about every other pick up line they might use, that is to say, not very far.

But if you do like robots, and you’ve got a bunch of time because you’re a single teenage geek, then maybe you should head over and check out this attempt to draw 165 Robots with Stuff

Big Macs

So Robyn has had her Mac for a while now. She was very excited when it arrived.


Well, today mine arrived…

It’s beautiful.


It’s very nice.

Geek checklist

Continuing the vein of discussion about whether I’m a geek or a nerd (and in fact whether the distinction is necessary) – here’s a list of ten habits of a geek spouse from Wired. And here’s how I fare…
1. Punning.
Guilty as charged. Really, really guilty. I had no idea that this was a geek thing. 1 point.
2. Swearing in Klingon.
Nope. Not interested. Not really interested in sci-fi – but that doesn’t stop me wearing my Star Wars inspired “Milk I am your Father” shirt. 0 points.
3. Weird or over the top ways of celebrating mainstream holidays.
Not that I can think of off the top of my head. I do however celebrate federal budget night with an annual beer and budget celebration featuring only myself (and my wife who is there in presence not spirit). I’ll give myself half a point.
4. Dissecting movies.
I’m not really a movie geek/film buff. In fact I like really stupid movies that would no doubt annoy those who are film geeks. I certainly don’t point out continuity errors or any time a movie breaks natural law. So no points.
5. Wearing obscure geeky t-shirts to “normal places”.
Well yes, I do that. Lots. It shows just how clever you are. If you understand them. It’s like an idiot filter. 1 point.

6. Requiring extra space in the house for geeky things.
Yes. I have a coffee machine that’s more than a metre wide. I have a breadmaker set up on the back patio for roasting coffee, and I have four archaic consoles sitting in our TV unit. 1 point.
7. Geeky toys/decorations can be hard to explain to kids.
Well I don’t have kids. But I can’t imagine explaining why I own a plastic Bob Hawke drink dispenser will be easy. 1 point.
8. Looking up information while a discussion/argument is still in progress.
In the internet age who doesn’t do this? Really? Maybe it is just me. Very, very guilty. Especially when I know I’m right and I’m just doing it to back up my argument. 1 point.
9. Needing to watch certain TV shows ASAP to avoid spoilers.
Well, I actively seek out spoilers at times – just to stay ahead of the curve. But there are times when I guess this could be true. 1/2 a point.
10. Geeky projects that take over the house and whole weekends.
I guess ripping apart a breadmaker to install a switch bypassing the circuit board is pretty geeky. I like little DIY challenges – like the restoration of my coffee machine. 1 point.

Things aren’t looking so good. Lets count up those points. Drum roll.

6 7 out of 10 by my count. I guess that makes me an annoying geek spouse.

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