You might not be worried about the Zompocalypse – but not being worried is not an excuse for not being prepared. One of the services we offer here at st-eutychus.com is keeping you and yours abreast with the latest in zombie fighting science, methods and technology.
Today I have collated some hints, tips, resources and how-tos from around the interwebs to aid you in your preparations should the unlikely event of a zombie outbreak occur.
First, the latest in anti-zombie weaponry…
via: Unreality Mag
This list is a bunch of survival tips gleaned from one of the recent seminal Zombie texts, the movie Zombieland.
10- Only pull the trigger if you’re ok with every ghoul within hearing-distance knowing exactly where dinner is.
11- Stay nourished and healthy.
12- Drive safe! (And by that of course I mean drive in a hummer or a large SUV with bars welded to all the windows, and if possible an escape hatch in the roof)
13- If you can avoid it, then do.
This little article has a nice guide to the theories behind surviving a zombie attack – the best bet is to pick a local shopping centre. For the US it’s an obvious choice – because Walmart carries firearms. In Australia it’s less simple. A Bunnings, next to an Anaconda, with a supermarket nearby is probably ideal…
“…scout out all the big box retailers that carry ammo and food. Not too many eh? Tough luck, blue-stater. Someplace like WalMart is ideal, especially with the Garden Center for seed and stuff for longterm survival. A big bonus would be a nearby Home Depot or some such place so you can get plenty of lumber and quick-mix concrete for fortification.
While you’re preparing, always keep in mind locations where people congregate – you’re likely to find lots of zombies there when things turn ugly. Highways, malls, and schools are especially bad. You also might want to mention to your friends and family in passing how well your hiding place could be defended, etc. That way, when the zombies come, they’ll remember you said that and come help you. I don’t recommend telling them you’re preparing for a zombie invasion. “
This piece has a guide to recognising zombies, and more importantly a guide to fighting them.
- Never physically wrestle a zombie. You will only wind up getting bit.
- Anything you can lift, throw or swing is a potential weapon.
- If you only have a blunt object, like a pipe or crowbar, aim for the head and smash.
- Small objects, like butter knives, forks or even pens, can be lodged into an eye socket at close range.
- Decapitation is an option if you are able to get close enough.
- When defending your hide out, put together an arsenal of homemade explosives from the stock of cleaning supplies.
- Guns put distance between you and the enemy, minimizing your chances of being bitten.
- Because fire is also a great weapon, use it to your advantage whenever possible.
- Do everything you can to notify Armed Forces.
- If all else fails, and you find yourself weaponless among a horde of zombies, you can try to act like one of them, but only long enough to get out of reach.
Here’s a handy guide to zombies in English:
And here’s another batch of ten tips from some zombie fighting experts.
“Choose Your Weapons Wisely: Not all weapons work for all people, and the trendiest zombie-fighting armaments aren’t always the best. When in doubt, melee weapons are a fine tool against the undead, but think twice before picking up that giant hammer. As satisfying as squishing zombie skull may be, swinging the hammer creates a sizable arc that gives zombies plenty of time to nibble at your armpits. GLAZS advises that you invest in a machete, which is cheap, lightweight, and neatly separates a zombie’s head from its bodies. As for ranged weapons, you may want to reconsider that sawed-off shotgun you’re so fond of. Bolt action rifles are both powerful and accurate, without the ammunition restrictions of the close-range shotgun.”