macabre toys

Look out, look out, there be zombies about

To celebrate the Brisbane Zombie Walk (which happened today) I thought I’d post eleven great zombie things from around the interwebs. But before I begin – the ABC is releasing all its footage and photos of the Zombie Walk into the open source ether through a service called pool.org.au which looks pretty cool.

“ABC is building an online ‘town square’ for all Australians. Pool is a collaborative space where audiences become ‘co-creators’.  It’s a place to share and talk about creative work – music, photos, videos, documentaries, interviews, animations and more.”

But now. The zombies.

Some people are so scared of the zombie apocalypse they’re preemptively screenprinting their black four wheel drives just so people know who to turn to…

I see trees of green, undead zombies too, I look around and think… well, I’ll leave watching this to you…

Shooting zombies with shotguns is the best way to get rid of them… but to do that you’ll need some target practice. Which is why it’s lucky that this company called law enforcement targets has targets you can use down at the shooting range…

If you want to plot your strategy using Lego men on a model of your city then you’ll need an accurate rendition of your zombie fighting weapons – and BrickArms has you covered.


In the event that zombies are overrunning the planet you might need a deterrent. Give the other zombies the impression that your house is already undead meat and they’ll head next door…

You can use one of these ornaments. Or several.

If zombies do take over the world then you’re going to have to learn how to get ahead in life. Your career in the new zombie world is going to depend on your man-eat-man approach to life. Which is where this book comes in

Churches won’t really be safe in a zompocalypse. Gatherings of people will be too much like a buffet. Decapolis has you sorted with a nice approach to your devotional life…

“During a zombie attack, it’s really easy to be anxious. Zombies want your brain, and you probably would like to keep it for yourself. Yes, you have to think about physical stuff like, “Where’s the shotgun,” and “aim for the head,” but beneath all situations is a spiritual level.

You have to be able to point to something God has actually said if you are to have a real peace.

RO 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Ah! There’s a promise God made. I can point to that verse and go, “Hey, I believe that promise.”

Now think of the things that make you anxious and replace “in all things” with your situation…

And we know that during zombie attacks God works for the good of those who love him.”

This one is gone – but there’ll be a new market for zombie teddy bears and toys – this one sold for $89 on ebay.

And then there’s the matter of wardrobe. These ones come via t-shirt rater.

Click Here To Buy It

Click Here To Buy It

iGroan

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Zombies Were People Too

Click Here To Buy It

The only good toy cat…

Sadly, as far as I can tell, this isn’t a real toy but a work of art.

I found this particular dead cat at BoingBoing.

I would buy one, I’d also buy some of the previously featured roadkill toys that are sold on this website.

Splodge the hedgehog is great for those people hanging out for the results of my pathos laden letter to K-Rudd. He’s also great for those people wanting to traumatise their children with a plush toy. And he’s completely consistent with my own experiences with the Australian echidna

Roadkilling me softly

I love it when disparate topical threads get brought together into a thrilling conclusion. That’s why I like movies like Lock Stock so much – here’s a combination of two of my favourite things – macabre toys and roadkill.

Roadkill Plush Toys. That’s right. Cheer up your kiddy (or your inner kiddy) with the thought that things could be much worse.

“Grind (Rabbit) Plush Toy

* He measures a healthy 12 inches from the tip of his twitching nose to his outstretched back paws, and 5 inches across the widest part of his body. His fluffy bunny ears add another 5 inches to his length. One is half-cocked vertically upwards, the other lies flat on the ground. In the middle he squishes out to 3 inches high with the blood and guts stuffed in, and 2 inches high with them out. He weighs a piffling 1.6 kilos. He won’t be the first to admit it, but as his modest dimensions show he was the runt of the litter. A litter which stretched to 211 brothers and sisters.

Splodge (Hedgehog) Plush Toy

* He measures a statuesque 23 cms from nose to tail, and 21 cms from outstretched paw to paw. And in the middle he flattens out to 13 cms high with the blood and guts stuffed in, and 11 cms high with them out. At 300 grams he’s slightly overweight for a hedgehog. This is due to his unhealthy obsession with bread and milk.

Twitch (Raccoon) Plush Toy

* He measures a healthy 15 inches from nose to tail, and 10 inches from outstretched paw to paw. And in the middle he flattens out to 2 inches high with the blood and guts stuffed in, and 1 inch high with them out. He weighs a piffling 350 grams. He won’t be the first to admit it, but as his modest dimensions show he was the runt of the litter.”

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