North Korea’s Young (oppressed) Talent Time

The Dear Leader has passed. But his cultural legacy lives on thanks to these clips of North Korean children performing song and dance… It’s what you get when you cross Young Talent Time with a dictator who wears platform shoes.

A certain percentage of these children grow up to become this…

This post was inspired by this video, which the uploader dubbed “creepy” I dub it “odd benefit of a bizarre and oppressive regime”… these kids are cute, and their synchronised head bobbing is something to behold.

Somebody mashed a couple of those videos up with some Metallica… Good times.

Obama cuts face, Third Eagle is in his element

There’s nothing like a Korean conflict to get the Third Eagle excited. Nothing. Except, perhaps, for a presidential shaving mishap…

Obama’s 12 stitches on a lip injury are great fodder for numerological bizarreness.

Obama is the last king of the south… and Kim Jong Il is the last king of the north (from Daniel 11)… or maybe it’s Vladimir Putin. And nuclear weapons are a “strange god”…

My question is still where does this guy get his water backdrops from?

Losing is such a shame – when you’re from North Korea

The North Korean football team started the World Cup on such a high note – going down 2-1 to Brazil – that the nation’s cultural apparatchiks decided it would be good for moral if the next game was televised live. North Korean history in the making… but things didn’t go quite to plan. The North Koreans fought valiantly in the first half – but then Portugal put their feet to the North Korean team’s throat – and smashed them 7-0. This was unacceptable. And made Kim Jong Il feel very ronery.

It turns out, by the way, that the North Korean fans who made their way to South Africa were in fact Chinese ring-ins who were paid to be there.

When these players, and their poor coach (who became the fall-guy during the tournament, as players were instructed to blame him for the results – I guess the North Korean administration learned something from the English, Argentinians and most importantly – the French).

Since returning to the Peoples’ Republic of Korea the players and coach have been put through a rigorous process of public shaming at the hands of the nation’s administration. The coach copped the worst of it:

“The team’s coach, Kim Jong-hun, was reportedly forced to become a builder and has been expelled from the Workers’ Party of Korea.

The coach was punished for “betraying” Kim Jong-un – one of Supreme Leader Kim Jong-il’s sons and heir apparent.”

Kim Jong Ill with Bieber fever?

Rule One for running competitions online in the 4 Chan era must surely be “though shalt not run competitions that allow unsolicited responses…”

Teen “sensation” Justin Bieber ran a web competition for fans to choose his next tour destination. 4Chan got wind of it. Justin Bieber, if he honours the competition, is now going to North Korea.

The BBC reported the story with unwarranted seriousness.

“Given the fact that almost all citizens of North Korea are denied internet access and there are restrictive controls over all media, it is unlikely that any of the votes have actually come from within the country.”

Really?

Via BoingBoing.

Theatre of Crushed Dreams

Ahh. Sport. Home to such brilliant examples of myopic legalism…

Did you hear the one about the guy who pitched a perfect game on Wednesday (US time) – except that an umpire missed a pretty obvious out on his final play, calling the batter safe and crushing the dreams of the young pitcher? No. Well, the Major League Baseball administrators had to consider whether or not to overturn the decision giving this kid an achievement as rare as hen’s teeth (there have been 21 in history – but three in the last month), and they decided not to. Check out the story.

But better than that… The World Cup comes around once every four years. It’s the biggest event in sport (despite what the Olympic PR machine might say). North Korea (who probably should have known better), decided that the arbitrary three goalkeepers in a squad of twenty-three was excessive. So they named two, and picked a young striker to double as a goalkeeper, in the unlikely event that his presence between the sticks was required.

The catch is, that this player must play in goals. I didn’t know that was a rule. I thought goalkeepers could swap upon notifying the referee… but a 27 year old from a nation that isn’t a guaranteed qualifier for any future World Cup, ever, has had his dreams have been crushed by sporting administrators applying the letter, not the spirit, of the law. Brilliant. Here’s hoping the other two keepers get injured forcing him to make a stirring, Hollywood style debut between the sticks, only to win the World Cup for Korea. Then, in the celebrations, Kim Jong Il will adopt him as his heir. It could happen…