I’ll finish tonight’s blogging extravaganza with this little piece of font humour. From here.
Tag: Puns
Edgy Humour
Missing baby found in Sandwich
That would have been an incredibly fun headline to write… Especially because it’s actually not as bad as it sounds.
The story is a little sad – as any stories where children live in broken and violent homes. But not as disturbing as the picture that pops into one’s head…
“Police say John Fielding was drunk and had assaulted the infant’s mother before he sped off with his daughter. A short time later, Fielding was found in Sandwich, MA.”
That’s got to win points for misleading people…
A salt and battery
This is a beautiful, hopefully pun inspired, piece of kitchen design. From this Turkish designer.
Our daily Fred: Leaning tower of piazza
This heading only makes sense assuming you know that Piazza is a brand of coffee.
And now you do you can drink happily from the leaning tower knowing you get my awesome pun.
Shirt of the Day: That’s how I roll
This shirt is in keeping with my segway obsession. This is, I think, the third seqway related post I’ve made. I’d link the others if I could be bothered.
Runners up from the same site:
knit picking
I have never wanted to learn to knit as much as I do now. Thanks to this collection of macabre toys.
Goodshirt
Goodshirt were a cool Kiwi band that Australia never managed to claim. They had this cool song called “Sophie” that had a very cool acoustic version.
But I digress. Glennz.com is my current favourite shirt site (I haven’t bought any yet – but I’d like to. Thanks mostly to these:
If anyone buying me Christmas or birthday presents hasn’t done so yet – you can’t go wrong with a good novelty T-Shirt.
A good analogy
I know Ben hates analogies. This will annoy him. But if Annabel Crabb is my Herald pin up girl then Peter Hartcher is a close second as far as his writing is concerned.
“Rudd has grown attached to his description of the crisis as a result of “extreme capitalism”. That’s akin to saying the Titanic sank because of “extreme sailing”. The US economy and financial markets collapsed not because of the doctrine of capitalism, any more than the Titanic sank because of the practice of international shipping. The cause of the calamity was bad policy, just as the cause of the Titanic’s fate was bad navigating.”
Both Rudd and Turnbull cop a tongue lashing in the piece. Well worth reading.
“Why does it matter what Rudd calls it? Because from the diagnosis comes the cure. The fault was not capitalism, extreme or lame. It was bad policy.
As for Malcolm Turnbull, he has made some sensible suggestions on how the Government should respond to the crisis, but the one he made this week is not one of them. Turnbull claims the Government must not allow a budget deficit. Already, Rudd has used half the projected budget surplus for this fiscal year as apackage to stimulate growth.”
Bach off
“Knowing what makes a good headline is instinctive and ethereal rather than formulaic, but Mills prefers to use humour to grab readers’ attention. These headlines, from politics to the arts, shimmer with lively puns and pop-culture references. They are layered, lithe and fresh.”
Rick Feneley, The Sydney Morning Herald,
“The felonious monk and his trail of lies”
“Welcome to the CBD: all arteries, no pulse”
“Della in the freezer”
Rob Mills, The Sydney Morning Herald,
“Bach from the dead: fresh portrait of a decomposer”
“Yes, I did inhale: Liberal leader admits sniffing staffer’s chair”
“Dear me: Della penned Iguanas letter”
David Winter, The Monthly,
“It’s Bennelong time”
“The great pretender”
“From Mandarin to top banana”
My favourite by far is the last one. I even bought the magazine in question thanks to that stunning cover headline. I do like the Bach one though.
Phoning it in
I admire the resolve of sub editors around the world not to make racially charged puns on the dilemma surrounding Barack Obama and his blackberry. This is a serious issue people. Due to security concerns – and laws surrounding the status of presidential correspondence – the President of the United States does not have an email address. Lucky the Republicans didn’t get in – Sarah Palin’s passwords are really easy to crack.
Obama’s Blackberry was a constant companion during the campaign. And now he has to give it up – his tech savvy approach to grassroots campaigning was arguably the factor that won him the presidency – it certainly won him the primaries.
Why can the White House not afford to pay the best security people in the business to ensure their Commander in Chief can have access to technology? Surely the US Army doesn’t have its officers receiving correspondence by carrier pigeon?
Slate provides some interesting background on the drama – and in the process makes the argument for the President to have email access and the ability to hold on to his preferred communications device.
I, on the other hand, am not the President of the United States. And I want an iPhone. I am lobbying hard for iPhones to be the phone of choice in our office’s upgrade of our current mobiles.
iPhones don’t just look cool – they’re incredibly functional and extensible. They will not go out of date any time soon. Other tech companies (like Google) are struggling to release an iPhone killer – a device to dent the iPhone’s popularity. Here is my suggested iPhone killer:
Americans to get Summer Heights High…
…or probably not. I suspect it’ll be the latest in a long line of exported Australian comedies to go over their heads thanks to an underdeveloped sense of humour. Still it will be interesting to see how many Americans think is Ja’mie actually a real person. Something the early Australian audience had trouble dealing with when “We Can Be Heroes” was released and “she” was interviewed on radio stations across the nation.
I’m not really fazed by the failure of the American audience to appreciate Kath and Kim – I didn’t like our version the first time round (or second, third or subsequent screenings for that matter). But Chris Lilley is a comic genius – so it would be a shame to see it not receive critical acclaim worldwide.
Anyway – this post was entirely based on the heading – and the fact that I suspect they won’t get it. I should stop writing posts purely on the basis of a pun laced heading.
shoe croc, don’t bother me
Ok, so these ones do. And that title is a really bad pun. But fresh from talking about a sticky situation involving the Coogee Bay Hotel, we have been confronted with our own PR crisis.
For those of you not familiar with the story here’s the précis, the tourism dependent community of Magnetic Island was recently in lock down as a rogue crocodile terrorised the bays and streets of the island. But the plot thickened – it turned out the EPA, in its infinite wisdom, had captured the crocodile in Far North Queensland and released it near Townsville. Then, as it began wreaking havoc upon the poor island, they couldn’t catch it. This of course led to calls from the ever reliable walking quote machine, Bob Katter, for a croc cull. Crocodile leather is desirable for shoes, hand bags and other accesories – they also interfere with our right to enjoyment of nature – or so the argument goes. It was eventually caught – only to die in captivity a day later – an autopsy revealed that the croc’s stomache was lined with plastic bags, and other rubbish which led to its untimely demise. Untimely, arguably because it should have died three weeks earlier.
This was a PR nightmare for all involved (except Bob Katter).
In particular:
The EPA now stand accused of killing some small businesses due to their ridiculous “crocs in space” program. They had an electronic tag on the crocodile and still couldn’t find it. They mishandled the situation allowing operator after operator to front the media lambasting them and demanding compensation – the State Government pretty much ruled it out on the spot – and now can count on no votes from Magnetic Island at the upcoming election. Even the greenies hate them because the croc died. It’s all their fault.
The Magnetic Island operators themselves have done as much as possible to tarnish the region’s image – by yelling “CROC” from the roof tops and going about dealing with the Government in an inappropriate manner. They shot themselves in the foot (they should have just shot the croc). The local tourism industry – Magnetic Island is the “jewel in our crown.” That’s the official line. I know because I wrote it. Now, in the mind of the uneducated consumer it is no longer a pristine island destination with safe beaches – it’s a garbage filled wasteland populated by deadly crocs. The tourism minister proclaimed crocs as “good for tourism.” That, according to those on the ground was untrue. That line only works when describing Australia Zoo and other crocodile farms. Crocodiles on public beaches are bad for tourism. The plastic bags, in all likelihood, came from far north Queensland, where the waters are messy. I wanted to run a media release on that basis titled “Far North Queensland full of old Cairns and plastic bags” – but I was outvoted. Common sense prevailed.