Tag Archives: right wing crazies

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God will be God and you will know it

God has been getting a bit of publicity lately – and not much of it is good. This is likely to continue as long as his representatives (the church) keep screwing up their key messages. Public Relations strategy centres on sticking to a key message – and not straying to the peripherals. Andrew Denton’s balanced “God on My Side” was screened on the ABC last night and showed the American Religious Right for what it is – a mixture of crazy zealots hoping to bring about Armageddon through war in Israel and a group of well intentioned Christians keen to spread the gospel through whatever mean necessary. As Christians we are called to preach Christ crucified. To proclaim the “good news” that Jesus is the key to forgiveness for our inability and refusal to live life God’s way, using puppets is fine for that. We are not called to get on TV and promise new pancreases to diabetics. While the concept of judgement is a pillar of Christianity there is no biblical text to support the idea that we should be acting to hasten judgement – instead we’re called to make hay while the sun shines (John 4:35). The church’s inability to stay on message sees it getting bogged down in debates it doesn’t belong in. Obscure theological debates (premillenialism v postmillenialism etc) should be played out in bible colleges and published journals – not fought out in public between churches or Christians. The issues of sexuality and sin – which the bible is quite clear on – need to be presented in the light of the gospel – yes, the bible clearly says God is against homosexuality, but he’s also against lying, any sex outside of marriage, pornography and any form of theft. People who indulge in any of these areas are unfit for ministry – but are more than acceptable to God if they repent. There is no sin that God won’t forgive (except final and absolute rejection of him). When the church publicly condemns sexual sin it opens itself up for accusations of hypocrisy. It is not the church’s place to judge – or condemn anyone – there but for the grace of God we all go. While a belief in Christianity fundamentally (and logically) renders every other religion false – that does not mean that we should hate – or want to nuke – followers of other religions.
The intersection of Christianity and politics is one that has raised the ire of many over the years – and interestingly the separation of church and state is not really constitutionally enshrined – the role of Christians in parliament is something Ben and I have fiercely debated all year. Non-Christians should not be worried that Christians will impose their system of morals and beliefs onto everybody as law – Christians are called to be counter cultural – not to set the culture. We should be lights to the world – we can’t do that if everybody is doing the same thing.
The scary reality is that God is real, he’s in control. If God is God – we can not dictate how he should rule, or make him in our own image. We can’t stand here and shake our fists at perceived injustices.That’s not how the philosophical concept of God works – nor is it how the God of the Bible works. People who have problems with God have a problem. People who have a problem with the behaviour of the church I can sympathise with. There have been terrible atrocities committed in God’s name. There are people around with a terrible understanding of how the Bible fits together. But I can’t help but lack tolerance for this guy. Dawkins is the pin up boy for atheists. He has written a number of books criticising belief in God. He is to atheism what terrorists are to Islam and what the crazy eyed fundamentalists from the American far right are to Christianity. But he’s also widely respected as a scholar and an intellectual. Dawkin’s extremes make his fellow atheists so uncomfortable they feel compelled to explain his statements – in the same way that Muslims dealt with the uncovered meat statements from Hilaly. While I’m not sure I completely agree with the idea of persuading people based on the odds – Pascal had a logical argument or wager supporting belief in God.
Being a Christian isn’t the latest intellectual trend – but the church does itself a disservice whenever it strays from its calling and into the murk and mire of stupid debates. Let God worry about when the world is going to end. Let God worry about bringing punishment to sinners. The more we focus on what divides the church, and what divides society, the less people are inclined to listen to what we’re saying and the more likely we are to do something stupid like invading the Middle East under the pretext of a holy war. In conclusion – Dawkins is an idiot but then the wider church is full of them.

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Paris for the weekend

I feel no pity for Paris Hilton – instead I’m still filled with mirth every time I picture the poor heiress (that’s called juxtaposition boys and girls) to the Hilton fortune curled up in a prison cell wearing regulation orange overalls. Paris Hilton drove drunk. Paris Hilton had her licence revoked. Paris Hilton was warned not to drive while disqualified. Paris Hilton’s agent told her she’d get away with it. Paris Hilton listened to her agent – not the court – and Paris Hilton got caught. That’s the long and the short of it. And now she’s in jail – or she will be from June 5 – for 45 days. Not content to go down without a fight Paris Hilton has launched a campaign via her MySpace – suggesting she’s much too good looking to go to jail. Another MySpace campaign is not so flattering – a right wing cult leader/nut job/conspiracy theorist is so tired of Paris and the league of false role models that he’s launching a campaign encouraging people to burn her CDs outside Hilton hotels. His protest is based solely on Hilton’s lack of suitability as a role model and is not making an aesthetic judgement on the actual CDs – which I would have thought an equally compelling reason to burn them. Sucks to be her – apart from the millions of dollars she flouts while out and about trouncing around the country side (there are lots of “ou” words in that sentence). For someone who writes “socialite” on the employment section of any forms she probably could have claimed that she was in fact using her motor vehicle for “work” related activities – a defence Winona Ryder tried out during her 2001 shoplifting trial (some stories claimed the shoplifting incident was “research” for a role as a criminal.

In other news – Manchester United are the champions – after years of putting up with Chelsea’s incredible bankroll and backroom deals the Red Devils are again the top dogs in the English Premier League. Thanks to Arsenal, which makes the victory extra sweet… Now if Manly can maintain their current vein of form in the NRL it could be an almost perfect year of sport.

My quest to get the Wiggles blacklisted

The Chaser ran a story from America on a fundamentalist church group outraged at the US’s refusal to outlaw homosexuality. They picket the funerals of US soldiers killed in Iraq and do all sorts of other extreme things that give the rest of us normal Christians a bad name. The church is so rabidly anti-gay that they provide their followers with a list of good and bad musicians based on gayness. The bad list includes obvious candidates like Elton John and George Michaels – plus Morrissey as a bracketed “questionable” – blacklisted bands can be simply gay sympathetic rather than gay gay. Marylin Manson makes an appearance despite his failing marriage to a burlesque dancer. Anyway, while they are crazy looneys, this whole band blacklisting thing is interesting. I figured that the site’s administrators would not be completely on top of the music situation downunder in li’l ol’ OZ, so I emailed the site’s administrator who is always on the look out for bands to ban because:


“One of the most dangerous ways homosexuality invades family life is through popular music. Parents should keep careful watch over their children’s listening habits, especially in this Internet Age of MP3 piracy. “

Here’s the bands I suggested they look out for – or immediately add to their list. Feel free to suggest more.

Hi from downunder…
Here’s a few gay friendly Australian bands to add to your list:
The Wiggles (men in rainbow coloured shirts singing supposedly harmless children’s songs with gay undertones)
Hillsong
The wunderpants band
Oli goes over
Protruding Dinosaurs
Herbie and the artic adventurers

I may have made up all but the first two – but look out for Hillsong and the Wiggles to be blacklisted by these crazies.

I’ve been contacted by a second Nigerian scammer who wants me to help him deal with an inheritance problem he’s had since his boss, Andreas Schanner was killed in a plane crash back in 2000. Here’s a clip from the email he sent:

“The total amount involved is Sixteen million Seven Hundred Thousand United States Dollars only [$16,700.000.00] and we wish to transfer this money into a safe foreigners account abroad. But I don’t know any foreigner, I am only contacting you as a foreigner because this money can not be approved to a local person here, but to a foreigner who has information about the account, which I shall give to you upon your positive response.

I am revealing this to you with believe in God that you will never let me down in this business, you are the first and the only person that I am contacting for this business, so please reply urgently so that I will inform you the next step to take urgently.At the conclusion of this business, you will be given 25% of the total amount,70% will be for us, while 5% will be for expenses both parties might have incurred during the process of transferring. I look forward to your earliest reply through my yahoo email edwardnka@yahoo.com PLEASE, TREAT THIS PROPOSAL AS TOP SECRET.
Best Regards,Edward Nkanga.”

To help him settle the issue I’ve created Tobias Walther Schanner, a long lost heir to the Schanner family fortune – I sent him this email complete with an authentic deed poll document.

“Edward – it is so coincidental that you choose today to write to me. I have friends who knew closely the pilot of that plane crashing on July 25. I would be very happy to help you out but being a professional business investor I need more information to establish your bona fides. Be sure that I treat your correspondence with all the seriousness I can muster when presented with figures of that amount.

In order to demonstrate my willingness to go through with the transaction I have changed my name by deed poll to Tobias Schranner – thus allowing me to pose as an undiscovered heir to the fortune. I have attached a scan of the deed poll document which I suggest you destroy once you’ve seen it. I hope this makes proceeding further an easier deal and I’m happy to share the fortune at the proportion you suggest – although perhaps a greater share should go to me due to the trouble I’ve taken. I leave this up to you for your decision.
Tobias.”