My quest to get the Wiggles blacklisted

The Chaser ran a story from America on a fundamentalist church group outraged at the US’s refusal to outlaw homosexuality. They picket the funerals of US soldiers killed in Iraq and do all sorts of other extreme things that give the rest of us normal Christians a bad name. The church is so rabidly anti-gay that they provide their followers with a list of good and bad musicians based on gayness. The bad list includes obvious candidates like Elton John and George Michaels – plus Morrissey as a bracketed “questionable” – blacklisted bands can be simply gay sympathetic rather than gay gay. Marylin Manson makes an appearance despite his failing marriage to a burlesque dancer. Anyway, while they are crazy looneys, this whole band blacklisting thing is interesting. I figured that the site’s administrators would not be completely on top of the music situation downunder in li’l ol’ OZ, so I emailed the site’s administrator who is always on the look out for bands to ban because:


“One of the most dangerous ways homosexuality invades family life is through popular music. Parents should keep careful watch over their children’s listening habits, especially in this Internet Age of MP3 piracy. “

Here’s the bands I suggested they look out for – or immediately add to their list. Feel free to suggest more.

Hi from downunder…
Here’s a few gay friendly Australian bands to add to your list:
The Wiggles (men in rainbow coloured shirts singing supposedly harmless children’s songs with gay undertones)
Hillsong
The wunderpants band
Oli goes over
Protruding Dinosaurs
Herbie and the artic adventurers

I may have made up all but the first two – but look out for Hillsong and the Wiggles to be blacklisted by these crazies.

I’ve been contacted by a second Nigerian scammer who wants me to help him deal with an inheritance problem he’s had since his boss, Andreas Schanner was killed in a plane crash back in 2000. Here’s a clip from the email he sent:

“The total amount involved is Sixteen million Seven Hundred Thousand United States Dollars only [$16,700.000.00] and we wish to transfer this money into a safe foreigners account abroad. But I don’t know any foreigner, I am only contacting you as a foreigner because this money can not be approved to a local person here, but to a foreigner who has information about the account, which I shall give to you upon your positive response.

I am revealing this to you with believe in God that you will never let me down in this business, you are the first and the only person that I am contacting for this business, so please reply urgently so that I will inform you the next step to take urgently.At the conclusion of this business, you will be given 25% of the total amount,70% will be for us, while 5% will be for expenses both parties might have incurred during the process of transferring. I look forward to your earliest reply through my yahoo email edwardnka@yahoo.com PLEASE, TREAT THIS PROPOSAL AS TOP SECRET.
Best Regards,Edward Nkanga.”

To help him settle the issue I’ve created Tobias Walther Schanner, a long lost heir to the Schanner family fortune – I sent him this email complete with an authentic deed poll document.

“Edward – it is so coincidental that you choose today to write to me. I have friends who knew closely the pilot of that plane crashing on July 25. I would be very happy to help you out but being a professional business investor I need more information to establish your bona fides. Be sure that I treat your correspondence with all the seriousness I can muster when presented with figures of that amount.

In order to demonstrate my willingness to go through with the transaction I have changed my name by deed poll to Tobias Schranner – thus allowing me to pose as an undiscovered heir to the fortune. I have attached a scan of the deed poll document which I suggest you destroy once you’ve seen it. I hope this makes proceeding further an easier deal and I’m happy to share the fortune at the proportion you suggest – although perhaps a greater share should go to me due to the trouble I’ve taken. I leave this up to you for your decision.
Tobias.”

The author

Nathan runs St Eutychus. He loves Jesus. His wife. His daughter. His son. His other daughter. His dog. Coffee. And the Internet. He is the campus pastor at Creek Road South Bank, a graduate of Queensland Theological College (M. Div) and the Queensland University of Technology (B. Journ). He spent a significant portion of his pre-ministry-as-a-full-time-job life working in Public Relations, and now loves promoting Jesus in Brisbane and online. He can't believe how great it is that people pay him to talk and think about Jesus.

One thought on “My quest to get the Wiggles blacklisted”

  1. Hahahahaha. Even though I think the Wiggles are cool (>_<) and well... y'know, your Hillsong comment being somewhat controversial... :P I still find both mentions funny ^_^ And that US church is messed up… the reckon Evanescence is ok? (I love Evanescence btw, but from the pedantic-ness of their “bad” list it stuns me that they find Evanescence admittable!!)

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