Tag: Steven Seagal

A grammatical breakdown of Steven Seagal movie titles

My love for Steven Seagal, and his catalogue of movies, knows only some bounds. A late night Seagal movie kills sleep for me like Steven Seagal kills the bad guys.

Anyway. Check out this infographic from Pop Chart Labs (big version).

Off with the birds

One of the reasons my biting election coverage didn’t happen as a liveblog, in fact, the only reason, was that over the weekend Robyn and I took off to the Bunya Mountains for a surprise birthday celebration for her father. Who turned fifty.

Sadly, everybody but caught a violently unpleasant case of gastro. I have a stomach of iron. The upside was that I had the pick of the fridge for 12 hours.

I took the camera. The Bunyas teem with bird life. I’m not a “twitcher” but I do enjoy playing with my camera.

We tried feeding the birds – the others enjoyed more success. But they just weren’t that into me.

Robyn took this photo.

On the other “upside” – I picked up one of those three-in-one DVD collections from Woolworths in Dalby featuring Steven Seagal in his aging best.

Steven Seagal is cooler than Chuck Norris.

Separated at Birth: the World Cup game, and Steven Seagal

The World Cup has been producing ample fodder for one of my favourite games (which is probably pretty frustrating for other people) I like to call it “hey that guy looks like…”

Here’s an example. The Dutch manager Bert Van Marwijk looks almost exactly like former WWE wrestler Ric Flair…

In unrelated television – Master Chef regular Neil Perry looks exactly like Steven Seagal.

Especially when the latter plays a chef in Under Siege:

Here are Neil Perry’s knife skills on display (in text form) from a Q&A on taste.com.au:

“I love the way you cook and no matter how I try I can’t chop herbs fast or very fine without cutting my fingers. Can you give me some tips on how to chop as well as you do?”

The main thing to remember is to use a slicing action with your knife as opposed to a chopping action. By this, I mean keep the tip of the knife firmly glued to the board and cut/slice in flowing movements. Also, keep your finger tips tucked out of the way at all times. Use the middle knuckle of your fingers as a guide for your knife to lean against and make sure that any part of your fingers below that knuckle are tucked in.

And here, for your viewing pleasure (though it’s probably M rated) are Steven Seagal’s knife skills on display.

And, in a bizarre twist, St-Eutychus has a world exclusive linking the two men, and perhaps establishing that they are in fact the same person…

Neil Perry is the leading Australian endorser of a Japanese brand of knives called Shun knives. Shun knives are made by the Kai Corporation, who in America trade as Kershaw Knives, who just happen to be the manufacturers of the knife Steven Seagal designed.

That’s right. Same knife company. Same hairstyle. Same face. Same Asian flavour. Same person… you be the judge…

Do you have any World Cup lookalikes for me?

How to be awesome like Steven Seagal

You’ve always had the sneaking suspicion that Steven Seagal was more awesome than you were willing to give him credit. Haven’t you. Well it’s true. Not only has he starred in such awesome titles as Half Past Dead and Under Siege, not only does he do all his own stunts (probably not true), and not only does he have the worst combination of receding hairline and ponytail since, well, ever… he has a new TV show coming out. A reality TV show.

But wait. You say. This is not the blogging fodder I’m expecting at St. Eutychus. An ode to a washed up B-grade action movie star (who also happens to be a blues musician)…

Well, it gets even more awesome. The show, called Lawman, unearths a deep and dark secret. Seagal has spent some 20 years deputising for his local police department, kicking bad guys around for real.

This show sounds awesome.

Seagal, 58, who has a second home in bayou country, is a fully commissioned deputy and spends several months a year in Louisiana. While on the force, he usually works five-day shifts.

Jefferson Parish Col. John Fortunato, who partners with Seagal on the 13-episode series, says Lawman captures deputies in a high-crime arena – interrogating suspects, breaking up fights, chasing bad guys and making arrests.

Who would win?

Speculation is fun. But there’s nothing like speculation that involves pitting one party against another. This fascination began when, as a child, I would catch bees in match boxes and put them in jars with green ants. Locking them together in a fight to the death.

This probably says something about some deep seeded psychological problems that will come back to haunt me.

A couple of years ago I contacted a crocodile specialist to find out who would win a fight between a croc and a shark (Townsville has both in droves).

The Pacman v Mario video I posted today is part of a series of these conceptual match ups. It’s like the celebrity deathmatch claymotion series… just with fictional characters in line drawings, and names changed to prevent trademark infringement.