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Tag: toilet humour
A fish, bowl, existence
If, like me, you risk hemorrhoids through excessive time spent reading on the throne, you may be interested in another way to pass the time while doing your business.
If toilet golf isn’t your thing you might like to try toilet fishing…
A performing fartist
Let it never be said that I have standards. I present to you… Mr Methane, Britain’s premier flatulist. His website has annoying music. But it’s not as bad as this video.
T-Shirt Appreciation Day: Guilty Secrets
So… umm… is this you?
Would you feel vicariously unclean knowing that a post you were reading was composed in such a manner?
Confess your blogging sins in T-Shirt form for just $22.95.
The perfect mug for instant coffee drinkers
If you’re going to drink crap you might as well drink it from a toilet…
What lurks beneath
Every toilet should have one of these vinyl stickers just to remind unwary guests of the dangers of careless toileting.
For the sophisticated traveller
Traveller is an odd word. I’m firmly in the two “l” camp, but spell check is not… Irregardless, if you are a sophisticated traveller – be you the one “l” version or the two – you no doubt have found yourself in want of a classic bidet experience when visiting less than salubrious digs (not by choice obviously, given your level of sophistication).
This will no longer be a concern. You can even go camping. Safe in the knowledge that your bidet can come with you.
Stool tools
Never let it be said that any content is beneath me…
Everybody needs prank poo in a can right? This must be the biggest untapped market ever. And now it’s filled. You can buy it here. It’s even scented.
I don’t think this is going to be featured on Cool Tools any time soon.
A wee little man
There are pointless USB devices and then there are USB devices created by Japanese USB company Thanko.
Thanko will never be devoid of USB ideas because they’ve veered well and truly away from the path of the practical and into the realms of the completely bizarre.
And so, in this tradition, I give you this urinating USB fountain – complete with a one litre water tank (a significant portion of your recommended daily water intake).
Do with it what you will. I suggest you don’t buy it. But if you want to you can go here.
Scruntch time
A while back I posted a bunch of novelty toilet paper designs. You should check out that post – and these other fantastic bathroom fillers.
Sometimes you just really have to go at night. And finding the light switch is hard. Glow in the dark toilet paper is there in case of emergency.
Some people like to read while sitting on the toilet. My mum always warned me about hemorrhoids that occur as a result. You can take that warning, or leave it. If you leave it perhaps you’d like to have some brainteasers at hand (which reminds me of the one about the constipated mathematician – he worked it out with a pencil*).
Other people like to jot down thoughts and journal ideas on notepads. Artist Michael Gondry turned his notepad doodlings into toilet paper – I assume only the bad ideas made it.
*Not even my favourite toilet humour joke – which is “a doctor was walking the corridors of the hospital when a pharmacist approached and said “doctor, doctor, there’s a suppository behind you ear,” the doctor paused, checked his ear and said “oh no, some bum has got my pen.”
4U2P
Apparently urinating on walls is a massive social problem.
I had no idea. I did hear that Singapore (I think) had some laws about public urination that didn’t include lifts – so in protest people started urinating in lifts…
Anyway, it’s hardly an epidemic, at least in Australia. Apparently that’s not the case in Mexico. At least that’s the only reason I can think of to invent something like this.
What is this? You ask. This is a public and discrete urinal. As discrete as an oddly shaped bright yellow plastic sculpture can possibly be…
For those who fold
Some are folders, some are scrunchers, some are readers…
Here’s one for the folders out there (via bookofjoe)…
And one for the readers (also from bookofjoe)
A horror novella printed on toilet paper… a few times over, so that you can pick up where you leave off…
Then there’s one for the “artistic”… from an Australian company called Crumpler… also via bookofjoe…
If none of these excite you you can always print your own (also from bookofjoe).
Bummer
Yes, this is what the world needs. The iBum. A chair that photocopies your bum. From this Japanese designer – Tomomi Sayuda – who says:
"The arse is the window of the soul."
Honestly? What’s wrong with sitting on the photocopier? Back in my day if you wanted a picture of your bum you sat in front of one of those charcoal drawers at the markets – now it’s all new fangled camera phones and mirrors, or chairs that take all the hard work out of things…
Number two loo
This loo is made completely of poo. Talk about recycling.
Crap sound
You like iPods? Me too. iPods are so awesome we all have to wonder how we lived without them. You can take them everywhere. But keeping them in your pocket while you’re going about your “business” can be a hazard – it’s far too easy to drop electronic items in the toilet. Here’s something that will help.
