Looking backwards at what people saw when they looked forwards is always an interesting exercise. Does anybody remember the TV show Beyond 2000? Future Drama looks at old product announcements and advertisements that made predictions about the future, and throws in some recent predictions for good measure.
Love it.
Yelp is an online review/recommendation/gripe service which has recently launched in Australia. Cormac McCarthy is a southern gothic novelist, famous for such works as The Road.
Allegedly, if Cormac McCarthy were to Yelp, it would look like this:
Urban Outfitters
Union Square – San Francisco, CA
Cormac M. | Author | Lost in the chaparral, NM
Three stars.
And they come there in great numbers shuffling into that mausoleum that was built for them like some monument to the slow death of their world and among those tokens and talismans of that faded empire they forage like scavengers their faces frozen in a rictus of worldweary their clothes preworn in some tropical factory and they shop and they hunt with dullbrown eyes through that cavalcade of false trinkets and those shrinkwrapped mockeries laying there in silent indictment and they reach out to touch those trite things and their faces are slack but in their gullets a scream lies stillborn for they are the kings and the queens reigning over the death of their people and the world is not theirs and never was and the suffering and the horrors are not their doing but the work of their bankrupt forbears and before them stretches an abyss beyond man’s imagining and within their lifetime the promise of a coming reckoning measured in blood and in pestilence and they shuffle through that store near paralytic and finally they take a metal thing with a feather on it and they buy that thing.
If only YouTube comments and other feedback 2.0 looked read like this, the internet would be a more bearable place.
Haikus are my favourite form of poetry.
Especially when they involve Rebecca Black. And Godzilla.
Or are just haikus about Godzilla… those are pretty awesome too…
Finding the right kid for a back story scene must be some sort of art form. So I appreciate that this tumblog exists to appreciate those who put effort into that obscure art.
And two from my favourite TV show (at the moment, anyway)… I wish they’d hurry up and put season 3 on air in Australia, and also that the stupid network in the US would guarantee its future on account of people who have taste thinking it is better than Two and a Half Men.
This pretty funny Tumblog seems to be a bit defunct now. Seems that’s what happens when you get a book deal.
But here’s what you’re missing out on…
And my favourite… a hipster puppy on a fixie.
The other day a nasty policeman followed orders, and government policy and sprayed a bunch of peacefully protesting university students, who were peacefully protesting on the campus of their university, in a peaceful protest approved by university faculty, in their peaceful little faces, with some not very peaceful pepper spray. There were cameras everywhere. The cop has since been identified. Because that’s how the Internet works these days.
This image is evoking exactly the kind of reaction you’d expect, potentially providing a new set of martyrs for the Occupy Movement – because students are the 99%.
The other way the Internet works these days is via memes – memes which add fuel to the fire. I give you the “casually pepper spray everything” meme. And the tumblr (there’s some artwork there, as in famous paintings, not just meme fodder, featuring some nudity – just a warning (and some language)).
Some meta-memes…
I never got into the Magic card game… maybe if all the monsters came with standard issue googly eyes that would have changed.
That’s the purpose of this ‘ere tumblog.
Stock photography has the capacity to be pretty awful. Mixing random keywords together in the hope that the internet will discover and fall in love with your generic image is a recipe for some pretty awful photo composition.
So stock photography is great fodder for mockery, and thus great fodder for a single serving tumblr. Enter “Stocking is the new planking”…
Calling things “the new planking” is so passe. It also gives planking more airtime than it is worth… planking is so “the start of the year” anyway.
Tebowing involves striking a prayerful pose like famously Christian NFL quarterback Tim Tebow (perhaps more famous for being a Christian than for being an athlete (but what would I know – I’m Australian)).
Anyway. Fun times.
Heroes on your half face. Teenage Mutant Ninja Noses. This is brilliant. I’d never noticed that the human nose looks like a turtle head before. My. Mind. Blown.
Thanks to my dad for emailing me this, and Pete for sending me the tip via Facebook.
Bad Lip Reading makes me laugh every time. Here they take on Michelle Bachmann.
And a music video…
And who can forget their take on Rebecca Black’s Friday…
I’m not really a photographer. I have a camera and a decent eye – but it takes me about 10 shots of something to be happy with what I’m doing. So I’m kind of a fence sitter here. You Are Not a Photographer takes hideous examples of photography from around the web.
Mastergram takes properly artistic “masterpiece” photos and treats them with Instagram filters.
So this…
Becomes this…
Ahh. Celebrities. Dinosaurs. Dinosaurs as celebrities. Celebrities as dinosaurs.
The Colberaptor
The Cocosaurus
And the Michael Ceratops…
