Category: Culture

It’s Time

Well, after a two month hiatus I figure it’s high time I provide some sort of update for the google spiders – who are probably this blog’s only current readers. Today’s post will be brought to you by the prefix “ob“.

Observations
So, K-Rudd has been PM for slightly longer than my blog free period. In fact he was sworn in the day before my last post. So I blame him for my lack of inspiration. Really he’s just boring. Boring, boring, boring (coincidentally the prefix bo is the reverse of ob). Only slightly more boring is the obstreperous Mr 9% – Nelson and his hapless team. Anyone who the Courier Mail captions as Brenden Abbott – dig up a copy from the 31st of January – is in political trouble. K-Rudd’s problem is that he’s all symbolism and no substance – his response to any issue is to talk – form a committee, a war cabinet, a talkfest. His speeches are grand – and loaded with symbolic guff. His apology speech was well crafted – but not Obamaesque (I’ll get to him later). Two months in to his reign we’ve had a symbolic (some would say token) ratification of Kyoto (which expires in 2012 – hardly a long term solution) – and a token (some would say symbolic) apology to the obviously obscenely treated aboriginal people – an apology which explicitly ruled out compensation. I have mixed feelings about compensation – I think there’s probably a case for some form of compensation. Now that the government has admitted they did the wrong thing they should probably have to pay for that mistake. The proverbial can of worms has been opened.

Obsessions
Another reason I haven’t been blogging lately must be the disproportionate amount of time and resourcing I’ve been giving to my current obsession – coffee. Robyn would probably agree – although she’s enjoying the benefits.

Here’s the progression I’ve gone through in terms of my coffee “habit”
1. Discovered home roasting – through coffeesnobs.com.au – I highly recommend their starter pack. But I’ve since been ordering through Ministry Grounds. I purchased a heat gun from eBay for the purpose of roasting my beans – with the view to building a corretto when I can locate a suitable breadmaker. At the moment I’m just using the heatgun and wok.
2. I was less than happy with our existing grinder – a little bladed number sold as a “herb and coffee” grinder. It was good as an introduction to the freshness of ground coffee – but didn’t produce a particularly even grind – so I purchased an EM0480 Sunbeam grinder second hand from coffeesnobs.com.au.
3. I recently shelled out $400 (plus freight) for a commercial Rancillio machine on eBay – it’s yet to arrive, but I’ll edit this post to include some pictures when my browser will let me.

Home roasted coffee is terrific. I highly recommend my new hobby.

Obama
Barack – the man I’ve dubbed “the new black” when it comes to US Presidential candidates – Obama has just won his tenth straight contest for the Democratic nomination. I’m nominally a Democrats fan in the US thanks to the West Wing. And I picked Barack a year ago – before he was cool.

Obligatory references to real life
Married life continues to be a barrel of caffeine induced laughs (see above). It really is great fun. We’ve recently filled our fish tank with a plethora of new marine life. We’re now leading the kid’s club at church on a Friday night – putting the kibosh on our social life during school term. An unwholesome amount of our spare time is spent playing Tetris on Facebook. Robyn has posted an almost blasphemous score of 946,000 or thereabouts.

World Cup coming to Australa? Is the Titanic at the bottom of the ocean?

When a deckhand on the Titanic famously proclaimed that “Even God couldn’t sink this ship” just prior to the liner’s fateful (or ill-fated or predestined) maiden voyage, he unwittingly became the butt of many sermon illustrations over the years on the problem with dismissing the almighty too lightly. It seems others have not learned from his mistake – Danny Joordan the man behind South Africa’s preparations for the 2010 Football World Cup is tempting fate offering the following challenge in a story published today  – “Only God can take the World Cup away,” he said.

His statement came in response to rumours that Australia is gearing up to step in as an emergency replacement destination if the African country can’t get its stuff together.

So, if we’ve learned anything from the Titanic we’ll be seeing world class football (and not the garden variety Beckham variety – I mean seriously, has Beckham done anything other than hit pretty nice freekicks and the odd cross in his life? He is one dimensional, has no pace and is only famous because he married a Spice Girl…) on our shores in the near future. In all probability we won’t actually be playing – having been drawn in the “group of death” – now all we need is for someone to come out and say “Even God couldn’t help Australia qualify for the World Cup,” which I’m happy to do here and now.

Maybe that could be K-Rudd’s next project now that he’s single-handedly saved the globe from impending climate induced destruction by ratifying a treaty that’s set to expire in about four years that 170 nations around the world had already signed up to. Now if someone comes out and says “God alone couldn’t sink this country” we’re in real trouble…

Scanned by the NetBox from NetBox Blue

Chewin’ the fat

It’s pretty much widely acknowledged that Heather Mills is one crazy lady. Possibly had Sir Paul met Ms Mills around the same time John met Yoko Ono the Japanese born American singer would have been held in high regard by the British public (who for the unwashed is pretty much regarded as the catalyst for the Beatles break up – which means she’s not very popular…still). I meant to post on this a week ago when I read it, but forgot until it popped up today. I’ve got to say if there’s one thing I hate more than a credit card wielding neo-socialist it’s an animal rights activist. So PETA aren’t at the top of the organisations I’m most likely to respond positively to… Their idea of “controversial” is to have models who would generally pose naked for money posing naked for their cause… alright they also throw animal blood on models at catwalks etc… but their approach can pretty much be described along the lines of the advertising mantra that “sex sells”. Unfortunately this methodology has been picked up by animal rights/vegan protest group Viva. hich brings us to Mills, who is their latest “celebrity” activist throwing her unbalanced weight (geddit, geddit, oh I give up) behind the cause. To show that it’s not more than a ploy to boost her ailing image following a messy public divorce (and outrageously bad interview a little while ago where she pretty much blamed the plight of the planet on the media) she agreed to be interviewed on the topic. If you haven’t clicked the link already here are the highlights…

“There are 25 alternative milks available in health shops and supermarkets,” she added, saying she turned vegan when an African woman at Live 8 asked her: “Why don’t people stop drinking cows’ milk lattes?”

“Why do we not drink rats’ milk, cats’ milk or dogs’ milk?”

Mills, and Viva, somewhat tenuously link meat eating to global warming. This position strikes me as contradictory for two reasons – one, sure cows may produce massive amounts of greenhouse gasses – but doesn’t this mean that population control in the form of Maccas burger patties is doing its bit for the environment? Shouldn’t we all be eating a cow to save the planet? And two… shouldn’t a pro-life (the natural corollary of an anti-slaughter animal rights position) be advocating for cows to live out their days in peace – thus creating no real mechanism of population control and allowing the unabated flow of harmful methane leaden greenhouse flatulence into the atmosphere?

On a Downer

Well. Who’d have thunk it? The Australian electorate (nb –not me because I didn’t actually get to vote) has collectively decided that it can forgive and forget an ear wax eater – and anoint him Prime Minister with a night of pompous cerumeny(sic) – that was my funniest joke ever. I promise. Click the link. Do it. So anyway, K-Rudd came through and became the ultimate tall poppy – now watch the media pack turn and devour him with the relish once reserved for Howard – who is now almost universally regarded as a hero of our times – albeit an unpopular, out of touch hero who somewhat selfishly singlehandedly brought about the destruction of his team – no sorry, that’s Willie Mason. The Liberal party is now Rudd-erless (unlike the other guys) and in a state of disrepair and disconnection from power never before seen – in fact Brisbane is the last bastion of official Liberal power – a stronghold at City Council level – held by my sur-namesake Campbell Newman… I can only surmise that with a dearth of experienced out of work pollies spread around the country the next few state elections will see a swing back to the Conservatives… In the meantime the Liberals and their country cousins – the Nationals are without leaders. This situation will keep the election aftermath in the news cycle for just that little bit longer – even I’m sick of the politics now – as the Libs have their own little election. We can only hope this one won’t be fought out in cyberspace with each candidate trying to outviral the other (Election 2.1 anyone?) – I for one don’t want to see anymore of Alexander Downer than I have to. Turnbull should get the nod – leading the Liberals into a new age of whatever it is waterfront magnates feel is important other than the accumulation of wealth and material possessions… so more of the same. My prediction is that Costello will sit on the backbench until the Liberals decide they really are better off with him – and he’ll come riding in from the sunset (where his career now sits metaphorically) on his trusty steed “Economic Management” – which is a stupid name for a horse, expect to see it running at next year’s Melbourne Cup.

Rack off lefty scum

The title of this ‘ere little post is stolen from perhaps my favourite piece of Junior Liberal’s propaganda – perhaps only marginally beating Liberals: We put the fun into funding cuts. The current batch of Liberal slogans ala “go for growth” are a little to obscure, obtuse and obviously written by geriatrics for me to get excited – but (segue) one thing that is sure to get me excited, one thing that’s sure to raise my ire, is the nu-left trendy hippy intellectually self-congratulatory latte pinko lefties. That’s right – the kind of people who when they hear that I – due to the AEC’s stringent and altogether too rigorous attempts to cut the yoof out of the polls and restrict the chances of messy electoral change – am not voting at this election and respond by saying “good, we don’t want your conservative vote anyway” – they’re the one’s who really raise my hackles. Let me tell you a thing or two about these self absorbed commies who go running around with their commercially mass-produced Che Guevara t-shirts extolling the evils of economic rationalism while enjoying their imported South American coffee, French art house films and hydroponic cones… they trumpet idealism and moral superiority, call on the government to end poverty, global corruption and anything resembling “the machine”, “the man”, or “globalisation”… What really gets me is their hypocrisy – their complete inability or lack of desire to put their money where their mouth is. And I mean that literally. Sure be a hippy, smoke your dope, call for a removal of inhibiting laws, the woman’s right to choose to terminate her unborn child’s life, make dope legal, build injection rooms, feed the hungry, water the trees, save the whales…protest against globalisation, protest against free trade, protest against war. But don’t ever let your personal convictions get in the way of your pleasure and comfort. These wacko lefties claim to be all about social justice but the ideologues aren’t prepared to reach into their own pockets (except through taxes) to support anything except the “save a panda” foundation which is just marginally trendy enough to score kudos with their stoned John Butler loving friends. Climate Change and saving whales are in vogue with those of the environmentally superior – but they’re bandwagon jumping, cause loving anti-establishment fiends who’d support the extermination of a people group if the government was against it and decry it as fascism when the government endorses it. Ok – that was pure hyperbole and exaggeration. My point is this – before you, my lefty friends go decrying me and my “conservative Christian” friends who happen to be generally supportive of public morality being maintained in the guise of “law and order” – as callous, unfeeling bigots, be prepared to defend the fact that while you spend your money on Hare Krishna “smile” stickers for your combi or whatever it is you drive these days, and sign your name to whatever Greenpeace petition is thrust in front of your face, us “conservatives” are out practicing the theories of a freemarket economy and donating to worthy charities designed to bring people out of poverty. For ever barb you chardonnay swillers throw at Hillsong for counselling young, pregnant women against having abortions, they’re donating real money to causes like getting people off the street and into jobs. You whinging dole bludging “arts graduate” wannabees are much too busy fighting for intellectual causes to actually address the physical reality.

Grumpy old men

Uncle Kevvy Wants YOU!!!

Waxing lyrical

The guy in the background is K-Rudd – he’s obviously a little peckish…

Stable

It’s amazing the number of topics you can potentially fit under one all encompassing heading. English truly is the language of kings – diplomats can keep their French, and IT nerds their C++…

Topic 1 – Owen Wilson
Ethically speaking journalists should not report on suicides – or attempts – for fear that it encourages copycat attempts. One wonders how many young girls have shaved their heads, attacked cars with umbrellas and undergone “mental breakdowns” since Britney made it cool… but I digress – the Courier Mail ran a sidebar par on Owen Wilson’s hospitalisation under the heading “star stable” – I’m not sure he is, I think that’s the point.

Topic 2 – Equine Flu

I’m glad I’m not a horse I think I’d be sick of being stabled at the moment. I can only surmise that book keepers are the only people sicker than Australia’s horse population.

Topic 3 – AFL

Teams in the AFL are able to strengthen their stable of talent through a draft system that gives priority picks to poorly performing teams to help keep the competition on a stable keel. This presents an interesting dilemma when teams – like Melbourne and Carlton – are positioned on the table in such a way that to win the final round would be detrimental to the team’s draft opportunities. Carlton and Melbourne are on even points. They sit at 14th and 15th on the table – my understanding, and I hate AFL, is that 15th and 16th get the pick of the litter when it comes to the draft. Carlton just happen to play Melbourne in the last scheduled game of the AFL’s season proper – both teams want to lose – they can’t acknowledge that publicly of course – but this is one game of AFL that I feel compelled to watch.

There are more topics I could mention that are variations on the “stable theme” – wrestling for instance and my desire to see stables formed again to provide momentum for feuds, or my inability to surf, skate or do anything that requires a sense of balance or stability – I can’t even do a forward roll… and then there’s the fact that in just a few short weeks I will be entering the stable state of marriage – and the even keel our planning finds itself on now that invites and housing have been sorted… but I’ll leave those until next time.

The crux of it

How is it that some people can so comprehensively miss the point? Sometimes you discover things that you can only hope are some elaborate hoax, satire or cheap parody. LarkNews is one of my favourite websites – it harmlessly pokes fun at church culture with articles like this one, or this one. So when I clicked on a banner ad on their main page taking me through to this site – I expected to be met with more merciless parody. Unfortunately this seems genuine. How is it that these “Christians” can completely and utterly miss the point of the cross.

This is prosperity doctrine gone mad. For those who haven’t clicked the link:

“The Nazareth Cross Project aims to build the world’s largest and most impressive cross, standing at 60 meters tall, housing a magnificent church in its center. The cross will be decorated by some 7.2 million brilliant mosaic tiles of varying sizes, each one with a personal engraving. These tiles will be made of stone from Nazareth, or platinum, silver or gold.”

But that’s not all – you too can be part of this monumental project.

“7.2 million tiles will cover this majestic structure, each one engraved with a name. The purchaser will be able to choose both the material and location of the tile on the cross. By acquiring a tile with your inscription, you are connecting to the Holy Land in a most unique and profound manner. In the very heart of Nazareth, where the Virgin Mary heard that she had found favor with God, you will declare your belief in God’s mercy towards you or a loved one for generations to come.”

But wait, there’s more.


“The breathtaking Church with its panoramic view will be located at the intersection of the arms of the cross, 15 stories high, and will contain over 4500 square feet of floor space.In the 2.5 square miles (5 km2) surrounding this monumental cross, a visitor center will be built to offer a unique inspirational experience as well as a world-class educational and leisure center.”


“The central location of the church together with a circular monorail transportation system will provide pilgrims easy access to and from the historic Christian churches, the Fountain of Mary and the city’s central bazaars.”

Once you’ve paid up for your platinum tile it’d be a shame not to visit this spectacular eyesore, and they’ve thought it out so that those unable to travel can enjoy the decadence and “inspiration” on offer…

“This church will provide a stunning 360° panorama and an inspirational worship setting… This Church will serve Christian groups, both pilgrims and locals, with a setting for special services, such as Baptism, Dedications, and Matrimony. The services within the Church can be arranged to be broadcast over the Internet so that family and friends who are unable to attend can share in the experience of Nazareth.”

Sounds just as humble and austere as Jesus wanted people to be when he told us to “take up the cross and follow him.”

Presumption of innocence

One of the pillars our legal system is built on is the idea that the law must consider people innocent until proven guilty. I learned that in my few years of soul destroying legal studies. And from Law and Order. Which I don’t watch. The courts have a responsibility to consider defendants innocent until proven guilty. As does the media – they can’t be seen to unduly influence court proceedings. Trial by media is dangerous – particularly in jury trials where perception can become reality.

Dr Death Part 2: the terrorist Indian is a case that has thrust the doctrine of presumption of innocence into the spotlight. The government has been lambasted for revoking Dr Haneef’s visa before any conclusive findings have emerged. While political pundits point at this move as blatant wedge realpolitiking (creating a divisive issue in the national interest) and point scoring with the critical (in terms of importance rather than critique) dumb masses – I’d say the onus on the government is slightly different. I don’t think the government needs to function under the same umbrella doctrine when it comes to the potential innocence of a potential terrorist. Their responsibility is different. Government’s must be slightly prejudiced to protect their citizen’s interests. The burden of proof is also different – extradition is a different kettle of fish to incarceration. Kicking someone out of the country for possibly being a threat to the populace is not the same as removing someone from the public because they’re a confirmed danger.

For anyone outside the judicial branch of government to presume the innocence of anyone charged is for us to presume that the police force, the prosecutors et al are incompetent and every arrest and charge is wrong.

While Haneef is probably – on the weight of the evidence published so far – only slightly more dangerous than your average Queensland medical practitioner – I don’t think the government can be criticised too much for wanting to put the interests of their citizens at the top of their concerns. Even if it’s been a critical success (in the positive opinion sense of the word) with the critical masses (in the essential to election success sense of the word) giving the government’s approval rating a slight bump upwards in the polls – that’s surely no reason to be cynical…

Where there’s smoke…

Hello blog reader.

It has been a while since my last post and much has happened. I recently celebrated the one year anniversary of my new financial year resolution to not eat fast food. My definition of “fast food” included anything from McDonalds, Hungry Jacks, KFC and Red Rooster. I’m happy to announce that I made the whole year – plus some nine days as I’m yet to return. This year’s NFYR sees me forswear the joys of carbonated “soft” drink including the products of Coca Cola and Pepsi – but not extending to Bundaberg Ginger Beer or Lemon, Lime and Bitters at the pub.

I got all cultured and stuff in the last week with the Australian Festival of Chamber Music. I went to their gala “Chefs in the North” dinner as I did last year. The food was above average and the wine was superb. Robyn and I went to the Guv’nr’s Gala Concert on Saturday night featuring a string quartet from NZ, an opera performance, some improv didge and a pretentious “art” piece from the festival’s resident composer.

I spent Friday on a luxury charter boat circumnavigating Magnetic Island – I’ll post photos later. Wedding plans are continuing – we’re putting together a map so that people can find the farm. It’s exciting times people. That’s a little update from me…

And now, without further ado – the subject of my topic… Daniel Johns and Peter Garrett. The Australian media was briefly up in arms today, keen to see Garrett’s credibility go up in flames over allegations made that he’d been burning the Midnight Oil (and some THC) with the Silverchair singer and U2’s Bono.Johns was quick to hose down the speculation – claiming he’d made a spur of the moment, off the cuff, joke to lighten the mood on JJJ’s sullen breakfast program… from Crikey –

”In an interview I did this morning on Triple J I made a stupid joke. It’s just been brought to my attention that some people in the media have taken my dumb joke seriously so I want to set the record straight. At no time have I ever “smoked a joint” with Bono or Peter Garrett. They are both well known to be very anti-drugs so that’s why I assumed everybody would know I was joking when I made that comment. Clearly that wasn’t the case and I feel sick that I might have caused embarrassment to two people who I admire so much.”

“I was fortunate enough to once get to play them some of my demo’s but I swear that no joints were involved. I guess I felt a bit like a namedropper mentioning them on the radio so that’s why I added a silly throwaway joke. I accept that drug use is no laughing matter and I apologize sincerely for any confusion or harm I’ve caused. Just by the way, this is one of the reasons why I hate doing interviews. I really should just shut up and stick to singing.”

Convincing? I’m not so sure.

Bowen’ out

Hugh Jackman and Nicole Kidman/Urban are about to bow out of Bowen. They’ve been there filming Baz Luhrmann’s “Australia.” Bowen shares an interesting relationship with Townsville. They decided to throw their lot in with the Mackay area rather than the Townsville area and they’re a rival city competing for the Chalco refinery. I don’t like Bowen. Their Mayor Mean Mike is a walking quote machine that the media loves. The truth is – Bowen was a natural selection for the filming of this period drama – it was the only town in Australia that had to be modernised to take part in filming. The locals are all really excited that they now have somewhere to tie their horses when they go to the pub. They’ve begged the film crew not to take down the set when they leave because they’re scared when they go electricity and running water will leave with them. Really this post was a three joke affair – I liked the title, and I’ve been wanting to write something like this as a letter to the editor in the Townsville Bulletin. I’m pretty sure my blog led to a local journo being tipped off on the “new logo” compass thing that I posted a while back (I took it down so as not to incriminate myself further). That was an interesting situation and one where I’ve had to rethink what I post here.

In the slammer

Paris Hilton is back where she belongs. In prison. After a brief reprieve the judge re-threw the book at her, and she’s back behind bars.

Not before undergoing a spiritual awakening and promising to use her powers for good. My favourite Paris Hilton quote from the various news reports on her incarceration is this one – when asked why she had been switched to “house arrest” prior to her eventual re-internment.

“I was not eating or sleeping. I was severely depressed and felt as if I was in a cage. I was not myself. It was a horrible experience.”

Yes Paris, it’s called prison. It’s a big cage. It’s where you get sent for doing bad things. Who’d have thunk it… I’m starting to think that her advisers really do have a case to answer for. “Yes Paris you can drive while disqualified, you’re beautiful.”… “Don’t worry Paris, it’s just prison, it’ll be like totally a breeze…”

Getting in touch with your inner wrestler

make your own wrestler!
I took this post down at first because it had this flash thing that wasn’t working – so then to share my wrestling awesomeness with the world I JPEG’d it.