Bored at work…

I know this girl who is scarily competent with a sword. She’s some sort of master of an obscure martial art – and her MSN tag line often reflects this. Today I was bored at work, and she was online. Hilarity ensued. I have changed her name to “Ninja” because it was a series of Asian characters with the tagline – “the weapon is irrelevent. it is the warrior that must be trained”

It’s raining outside, I’m killing time until home time at 5 and I think this is pretty funny.

Nathan says: the weapon is relevant if I have a tank and you have a toothpick
Nathan says: that saying is dumb
Nathan says: my tank would seriously mess you up
Nathan says: no matter how good a warrior you become
Nathan says: the same could be said for a rocket launcher
Nathan says: or even a grenade
Ninja says: it’s a martial arts thing
Ninja says: I don’t expect someone who isn’t a martial artist to understand
Nathan says: well good luck pitting your martial arts against my tank
Nathan says: unless we’re in Karate Kid 7
Ninja says: but still, the tank is irrelevant if u haven’t been taught how to use it
Nathan says: then your toothpick would stand a chance, it could jam up my navigational equipment and I could either blow myself up by shooting a nearby wall – or you could then open the lid and beat the crap out of me without a toothpick
Nathan says: they make tanks pretty user friendly these days – Americans have to be able to drive them
Ninja says: ur just being silly and difficult
Nathan says: I don’t think being blown up by a tank is silly – or particularly difficult
Nathan says: I just think your quote fails to take into account the sheer range of weaponry available on the black market these days
Nathan says: try facing a nuke with a sword
Ninja says: well how about u stop taking what I say out of context
Ninja says: it is a quote aimed at martial artists. as u r not one, I do not expect u to understand it, and it is not important to u at all
Nathan says: but if I was fighting one I expect I’d want a pretty good weapon
Nathan says: I couldn’t beat one bare handed
Nathan says: there’s an old saying that says you shouldn’t bring a knife to a gunfight
Nathan says: I think the weapon is particularly relevant
Nathan says: whatever the context
Ninja says: still u fail to understand
Ninja says: come back and talk to me after u’ve achieved a black belt in a martial arts
Ninja says: then I might pay attention
Nathan says: why would I wait until then
Nathan says: I’ll just fight you now – your sword to my machine gun
Nathan says: see, silly quote
Ninja says: grow up
Ninja says: and don’t talk to me again unless u have something sensible to say
Nathan says: I with no training could beat you with a better weapon
Nathan says: the warriors training is only relevant if the weapons share similar potency
Ninja says: it’s not about weapon against weapon!!!
Ninja says: it’s about your own training!
Ninja says: it’s saying that to even be able to wield a weapon, YOU must be trained, not the weapon itself
Nathan says: no, that’s not true – I can wield any weapon I want – competency doesn’t come into whether or not I can wield it – only how well I do.
Nathan says: warriors are trained for war are they not?
Ninja says: u have no idea

And then she blocked me. At least I think she did.


Joel says:

Good work Nathan; taunt the girl with the sword.

Anonymous says:

if she really knew martial arts, why didn’t she just kick you in the grill? i think she’s a fake.

Mark says:

Nathan, I’m on her side, though I don’t think she understands her quote very well if that’s the best defence she can muster.

That was cruel and actually, I think you illustrated one of the subtexts of the quote quite well.

You see, you had the choice of weapons, and chose the one with which you have (demonstrably) the greater skill, and used it to taunt and flaunt, showing very little respect for your opponent, knowing full well you were twisting the point of the quote, and yanking her chain in the process.

While it showed your prowess in your chosen weapon (which has benefitted from some training), it also showed you haven’t truly attained the maturity in its use to be called a “warrior”, which I think is implied – you may disagree.

And any fool with a bazooka can blow up a car, but if you’re truly competent, you’d have the choice to use only the means necessary to complete your objective. The volume of collateral damage does not a warrior make.

Nathan says:

ouch – the alternative view is that she, and perhaps others, lacks a sense of humour. There was nothing vindictive in my approach to that conversation or in my posting the conversation to my blog. I just thought the concept of attacking a tank with a toothpick was vaguely amusing.

Nathan says:

Cruel – Disposed to inflict pain or suffering.
Causing suffering; painful.

umm, no. Still just funny to me. I’ll try for cruel next time. Maybe I’ll go skin a cat or something.

Anonymous says:

i think it’s perfectly fine to make fun of dumb people. i think you did a good job Nathan! what’s a girl doing playing with swords instead of dolls anyway? why don’t you and ninja girl get married mark?

Leah says:

I think Nathan was a little unfair to her, but yeah she wasn’t explaining herself very well. I agree it was quite funny but I don’t think purposely provoking someone is the nicest way to go about it. I mean, really, Nathan did take the quote out of context and he knew it :P

(Or maybe he is as clueless as Ninja claimed ;)…)

AndrewF says:

Nathan, when was the last time you played Civilization? Of course someone with a sword can beat a tank!