Month: June 2009

How to sell a dodgy washing machine

So you’ve got a monstrous washing machine sitting in your laundry and it’s time for an upgrade. Landfill is so last millennium so you should probably just sell it online…


The best way to do this is to follow this guy’s lead

Honesty is always the best policy…

“On heavy duty spin cycle it sort of sounds a bit like the tortured howls of 1000 undead writhing in the sulphury pits of hell mixed with a train with carriages full of scrap iron sliding down the road with no wheels, on fire, into a bell factory.”
Thankfully it’s bite is not as bad as it’s bark. It washes fine, completes cycles, does everything it’s supposed to.
It leaks a bit when it’s running, always has.
Its a bit grubby, could do with a wipe down, I refuse to touch it because I’m still getting over the whole dinosaur scare thing.

Dinosaur scare thing – I forgot to mention that – if honesty fails, introduce dinosaurs…

“Once while washing a load of towells it got a bit out of balance and it got so out of control for a minute that I swear I actually saw a porthole to another dimension open above it just for a second, there were dinosaurs on the otherside and they looked scared too, it almost sucked me in but I held onto for my life to the deepfreeze.”

“I drew a picture of the dinosaurs i saw incase people didn’t believe me, they are partly red because my green felt ran out half way through.”

And again, if that fails, suggest upgrade options – it’s a renovator’s dream…

“I think it would be good to paint it matt black and put steel spikes all over it and draw demons on the front, however I have added an image of another possible customization option for people who like horses.”

I don’t know what the regular market for second hand top loader washing machines in New Zealand is – but this one’s going for more than $800.

20 creativity insights from the brain behind the “best job in the world” campaign

Today I had the pleasure of enjoying lunch with an advertising “guru” – he doesn’t like that term –  so lets call him a leading marketing executive – the CEO of CumminsNitro – Sean Cummins.

He’s the man behind Virgin Blue’s marketing (and indeed their “brand”), the Tourism Queensland Best Job in the World Campaign and other interesting things.

He spoke for four hours in two functions today and I’m going to try to focus on the interesting bits. Things that may be beneficial if you’re thinking about marketing, branding or strategy… I know that lists are great blog fodder – so here we go… (this is basically my notes from the functions). These are in chronological order not order of significance – but I think the most important idea for me was that creativity is not airy fairy – it’s a discipline. Then, shortly behind, was the idea that “genius comes from the prolific” which actually came from Einstein.

  1. There are a whole lot of ads out there shot exactly the same way – and he gave an example of “weird stuff happening on streets” from gerbils in running wheels to walking ATMS – he put together a two minute clip of bits from all these ads in a seamless montage. Finding a point of difference includes the style of your campaign – not just the substance of your product.
  2. We are in the throes of the greatest change in advertising ever – so much so that the man at the helm of one of Australia’s most highly regarded companies told a small business that asked a question to think hard before advertising. Ask if you need to advertise at all.
  3. There’s an old quote from a guy from Proctor and Gamble that says “I know 50% of my marketing works, I just don’t know which half.”
  4. Advertising has traditionally focused on a “push” philosophy where the seller “pushes” their messages onto the buyer – social networking and the changing community mentality means that it’s moved to a “pull” model where people choose what brands to hold dear and pull them to themselves.
  5. The concept of your branding being your logo essentially died when Nike became known for sweatshops –  your brand is what you’re known for, not your recognisable logo. Your brand is more than your logo – it is perhaps best defined as your “aura”.
  6. “The last bastion of the creative scoundrel is to change your logo”…
  7. Being successful in understanding markets and selling products means being an investigative journalist and researching trends and vibes rather than capturing a fleeting moment of creativity and hoping it resonates.
  8. Test things with focus groups – have people who will give you blunt, realistic feedback.
  9. Don’t sell anything off a negative. Find a positive. Don’t sell the reef on the basis that the reef might one day not be here – it opens up an in for lobby groups and the competition.
  10. Paul Hogan once captured the consumer’s intention best (and the way to sell things) when he said you don’t invite people to your house to see the furniture. People are after authentic experiences and interactions – not an icon or postcard perfect photo.
  11. When you’re selling something strategy is more important than substance – you don’t come to a client with an idea for an ad but a strategy.
  12. Sometimes tighter deadlines produce tighter results – “give me an hour and I’ll produce a more pithy campaign than if I’m given a month”…
  13. If a proposition or proposal has the word and in it it’s not single minded.
  14. Twittering is like sponsored stalking.
  15. The movie Australia was an artifice – with no buy in for tourism whatsoever – tacking a $60 million campaign on the end was a gross error in judgment.
  16. Sometimes we need to stop making sense and start acting on ideas to see how far they can go.
  17. Develop a creative habit – or a methodology and discipline for creativity. Figure out how and where you best come up with ideas. Where do you think your clearest. Don’t keep a notepad by your bed (unless writing down your spontaneous ideas helps you get to sleep). Dreams are not when we are at our most lucid. Set a rigid routine around your creativity.
  18. Einstein said “genius comes from the prolific” the more of something you do the more likely you are to get better at it and produce a flash of brilliance. Songwriters may write their biggest hit in five minutes but it will take a lifetime of discipline to produce the ability to do so.
  19. When you’re communicating an idea try to find a one word summary. Consider how you’d explain it when grabbing an innocent bystander on the street – the longer you take the more freaked out they become.
  20. For complex ideas write the concept out in full and then prune. Remove the unnecessary fluff until you’re left with your substance. Follow the epithet “say it straight then say it great” in order to ensure you’re communicating the essence of your idea.

OCC Episode 4

Because I’m a day behind I figure I can post two videos at once – plus, it’s not really cheating in the blog off because the blog off appears to be off. Simone pulled out.

Are we still on Ben?

OCC Episode 3

I’m a day behind on these – and I’ve also realised that the program I used to convert them from hi-def quicktime files to YouTubeable files has not only messed up the audio – but cropped the last few seconds of sound… One day I’ll fix that. But for now. I give you. The OCC. Episode Three.

In the city

The 9Marks website has a great article on this whole “the city is where it’s at” “theology” that’s sweeping through city churches (and church planters) at the moment with nary a thought for those poor country cousins.

While I love and appreciate cities for all their goodness, and have lived in cities (excluding Townsville – which is regional) for just under half my life, I also think healthy, wholesome country towns are the lifeblood of the church and are often neglected.

A big part of my professional life involves helping the push for a regional area in Queensland to get appropriate per capita (and per revenue raised) government investment into infrastructure. It’s an eternal frustration. There are few votes in pleasing the country areas – so we’re the poor second or third cousins when it comes to government priorities.

There’s a real danger that the church ends up looking the same. It takes courage for a city raised ministry candidate to move to the boondocks. There’s no (real) program for sending graduates into rural service like there is for other vital professions (school teaching etc). City churches are too keen to snap up graduates for their vibrant and exciting “city” ministry.

And of course, as some good friends would itch to point out, these city churches could telecast their services into regional areas as a pragmatic solution.

There’s a lot to be said for feet on the ground ministry that’s engaged in community life – particularly when community life tends to be stronger the smaller the community (this is a generalisation based purely on my experience living centres with populations of 5 million, 3 million, 170,000 and 6,000). The opportunities for ministry are greater with greater natural community – but the opportunities for exciting ministry programs and huge growth decrease with the size of community.

So good on the 9Marks guys for pointing out this flawed hermeneutic (and particularly flawed Biblical proof texting) of city based ministry. It’s one of the few problems I have with the Mars Hill fan club. And in fact any city centric thinking.

$160 million man


Sir Alex Ferguson is faced with a dilemma. How to spend $160 million Australian. That’s what Real Madrid have just paid for Cristiano Ronaldo.

I’m looking forward to seeing how he replaces a man who considers himself irreplaceable. And I’m really looking forward to being able to dislike a man I have little respect for.

Hopefully they buy a couple of midfielders who like to pass.

A bunch of links – June 11, 2009

Bleeching

That’s right – we’ve finally got a spot for some quality blogs on this blog. Actually, thats unfair, i find Nath’s blog is quite entertaining and good for procrastinating (case in point – i have a law exam tomorrow). I fully support the promotion of baconny goodness (however, i’m sure bacon lip smakers are going down in sales since swine flu), all things ninja, and food, and nerdy nintendo stuff. Nath has that pretty well coverered. I intend to use my bleeching (blog leeching) for the greater goood. Exactly what that means will have to wait for another bleech as i need to go and do something more productive with my life. Anyway,
I’ll keep you posted…

Illogical Logos

Some logos are bad. Others are terribad – a combination of terrible badness. Here’s a site dedicated to logos falling into a category beyond terribad…

Like this one.

Seriously people, don’t just throw something together using clip art, pay a graphic designer.

Retail therapy

I’m back at work. I’m still a bit sick. With my camp induced man flu. And I’m feeling a bit of “cold induced blues”. The best treatment for this condition is to buy something stupid. Like a novelty shirt. Or an oversized coffee machine.

I’m open to suggestions.

Shirt of the Day: Ninja Code

For people who know CSS and like ninjas… Buy it here.

The fine art of persuasion

Lets face it – for all intents and purposes any piece of communication is an exercise in persuasion. If it’s not you shouldn’t bother. So no doubt there’ll be something useful in these “50 Scientifically proven ways to be persuasive“…

Here are some samples:

Rhyming makes the phrases more convincing. People were asked to evaluate the practical value of parables “Caution and measure will win you treasure” and “Caution and measure will win you riches”. In general proverb A was considered to be more practical and insightful than proverb B.

Caffeine increases the argumentativeness of a strong argument. Group A drank regular orange juice, group B drank orange juice infused with caffeine. Both groups were then presented with a statement on controversial issue. Except one statement then made weak and hasty arguments, while the second statement made a strong case. Both groups equally dismissed the weak argument case. As far as strongly argumentative case, group B was 30% more receptive. A faster-working brain under the influence of caffeine seems to appreciate good arguments.

A bunch of links – June 10, 2009

Polar expedition


Last weekend Hilton and Justina (Robyn’s sister and her husband) came up to visit. It was a surprise (for Robyn).

We went to Magnetic Island for a day.

Stopping at the region’s best restaurant – the Barefoot Art Food Wine, and getting all tropical with a coconut… Here are some photos – and here is a photo summary of the day.

How to eat a coconut

Step 1. Find a coconut

Step 2. Find a big stick and whack the coconut to remove the outer shell

Step 3. Remove the husk – this is a three person job

Step 4. Retrieve your big stick and split the coconut. 

Step 5. Eat the coconut

OCC Episode 2

I was asked in the last post whether I was aware the audio was so out of sync – no, I wasn’t. But I don’t think it makes much difference given the production values are what they are…

Also, I make no apologies for the terrible voice overs – we were on a budget.