Month: July 2009

Photographic memories

It doesn’t look like Dr Paul will be coming through with a photo for me. Well, not the photo I want. He did send me this:

You’ll not that that’s not what I asked for. Sadly, he was pretty insistent that it’d be all I get.

Dr Paul,
It’s great I’ve got your passport picture – I really do need that second photo before I send you your money.
I have a question regarding the final transfer – what currency do you need the money in? You haven’t specified this – I assume Ghana’s currency – the Cedi – is what you’re after?
Please let me know when you provide the photo as requested.
Regards,
Nathaniel

He was less than forthcoming.

Dear

Thank you for your mail, and sorry for my late response, my friend because of big work i have in office makes me not to contact you since some days now, please am very sorry.

You can find the attache  copy of my office id card, so my friend try you best to see that  you sent the money down by next week diplomat will come over and deliver this fund to you.Am looking forward to hearing form you today.

Yours Freind

Dr.Paul

This was not acceptable to me. No sirree.

Dear Dr Paul.

Your ID card is not what I requested.

I requested a photo that could not be faked. Your unwillingness to provide what I have asked concerns me.

I also asked what sort of currency you want the transfer conducted in – and you didn’t answer that either.

I look forward to receiving your photo. As requested. With you holding a card with the words I have requested – either “John 3:16” or “Robot in disguise”. If you would prefer to come up with your own suggestion please let me know.

I must insist on a photo that could not be doctored or faked. Please supply this to me as quickly as possible. My patience is wearing thin.

He did not like this. Clearly I’m not following the script – he rang me to tell me that nobody else requires this sort of “proof”. I’m not normal. And he wrote to me to say the same thing.

Dear.

Thank you for your mail and explanations so far. my dear am not happy for you because i live very thing am doing in my office to see that you get this fund this very week but you are making very thing to go back. my dear the photo you are telling me i can not do that because since many people like you have being get the fund nobody of them told me this can of thing ,so my friend if you really want this fund the want to deliver to you please tell me but if you want it tell me because the way you are talk to me i did not like it.

once again my friend i done no how i want to help you but you done want to understand me.my friend if you are not interest tell me in time now so i will not being westing my time. my friend i give you my internation passport you did not understand me, i give you my id you too but you done want to understand so i will not die my self to you. Am looking forward to hear from you soonest .
Yours Friend
Dr Paul

Something needed to change in order for me to secure my photo. I had to give him an incentive.

Dr Paul.

I am sorry I did not answer your calls last night. I was very tired and couldn’t quite wake myself from my sleep.

I am starting to doubt you. I would say I am at best 30% confident in you. You have promised me an improbable amount of money. You have failed to provide the evidence that I have requested. You have sent me incorrect identification. You have ignored specific and reasonable questions over and over again.

$850 is a lot of money to throw away to a person in a country famous for corruption without doing proper due process and getting the evidence required.

Dr Paul – as the head of an international bank I would not think accessing a camera is beyond your means. I can’t understand why this task seems beyond you. Perhaps you’re busy seeing Barack Obama. I heard he was in your country calling for reform of your banking institutes. I hope this goes well for you.

I really must insist that you provide this photo that I have asked for before we go any further. Your passport and ID card mean nothing without this.

It is you that does not understand – provide the photo I have requested and we will conclude this transaction.

He responded with a phone call – so I wrote to him again…

Dr Paul,

I was glad to hear from you today.

I can’t understand why the fact that you’ve never done something before means that you can’t do it now. Has anybody asked you to do this before?

I don’t think you’re being reasonable. I have made a simple request and you have refused to comply. I thought we were friends. Give me one good reason why you should not provide the photo?

I can’t think of a reason for you to refuse, unless you are trying to defraud me.

I thought you wanted me to receive my money…

You are not being helpful.

Say hello to president Obama for me.

He responded to that one…

Dear.

Thank you very much for your mail and all the infromation you have being sending to me. my friend i do like the way you have being talking to me.my friend since in my life i have being send many people the fund i never see any body that told me to do this you told me to do. please my friend if you did want  diplomat to come and deliver this fund to you just tell me now so i will not being westing my time.

once again one thing am advice you that i will never do this can thing because you are giving me too much  disgrace. i give you my internationpassport and my id but you do want it, so i will never do any thing again. i live very thing am doing in my office want to help but you done want you help you self. so my friend all i want to told you now that if you done want to take my word or follow my word please stop contacting me. Am looking forward hear from you soon.

Yours Friend
Dr paul

Well, I am treading on thin ice. But I want my money. Well actually, I’d settle for my photo.

Dr Paul,

If this money is legally mine how can you possibly refuse to conduct business with me? I will report you to your superiors at the bank.

You have two choices – do what I say and provide the photograph or don’t do what I say and I will report you.

Once you do what I ask of you my friend I will transfer the money – and a generous fee for your time – to the contact you requested. I believe you should be unofficially recompensed for your hard work. I know you are just doing your job. I’m sorry that you find my caution insulting. I wish you would see it for what it is – an opportunity to build the trust and fidelity that exists between us.

I feel I have possibly not explained myself clearly enough. I once was presented with a similar offer from the Cote D I’vor – where I sent an advance fee in order to secure monies owing to me – it’s hard to know what money is out there owing to my family on account of our large property holdings throughout the world. The Cote D’Ivor deal turned out to be a fraud and I lost a significant sum of money. I am careful not to be caught up in that situation again – and so I ask you to do this one small thing for me.

Please Dr Paul –  do not be upset or insulted. We are friends are we not? I would simply like to have that friendship confirmed with this act of loyalty and good faith. It worries me that you are not willing to act in such a way.

He was upset and insulted.

Dear.

Thank you very much for your mail and explanations so far. my friend you are doing this like me and you was i having problem. my friend all i want to advice you that if you are willing to sent the money so you fund will deliver to you do it but if you go head and talking too much word it will not help you. my friend just do what i told yiou to do very thing will been ok. Am looking forward to hear from you soon.

Yours Friend

Dr paul

Poor Dr Paul. He needs some real “hard evidence” of my fidelity. And I need my photo…

Dear Dr Paul,
It’s not that we’re having problems – I value this correspondence – I don’t want to have problems in the future.
All you need to do in order to enable me to send these funds to secure my funds – if that is what you want – is send me a photo.
I am starting to suspect that you are not what you seem.
I have acted in good faith with you – and you have promised me much but delivered nothing.
If this money is real (and I am beginning to doubt it) – I make you this offer… I will give you 40% of it on completion of the transaction. I am so confident now that the money does not exist that I am willing to promise you a share of it – because a share of nothing is nothing. If it does exist I am willing to take that gamble as I will still come out of this deal with a significant amount of unexpected revenue.
If you want to secure your 40% of this deal – and if it is genuine – then send me the photo I have asked for. If you send me this photo I will pay you an advance on this deal because of the insult that my distrust must be.
If you send me this photo I will transfer the $850 you have requested and a $10,000 down payment on your share of the money. This photo is worth $10,000 to you. Either do it – or I’ll know you aren’t genuine. This is the only way I will be convinced to continue in this deal and trust you.
The equation is simple. At this stage I need proof in order to send you, a stranger, $850 of my money in order to secure millions of dollars you have promised me – that I have never seen. It may not exist. I don’t believe that it does. If it did you would send me the photo.
Remember Dr Paul that because this may be insulting to you I have promised you $10,000 of my money, as an advance, when you prove yourself to me. Do other clients pay you like I am promising to? I doubt it.

After this email he rang me. Once I figure out the best way to upload the phone call (I recorded it) I’ll put it here.

July 15, 2009

A bunch of links – July 15, 2009

July 15, 2009

Caveman origins

It’s somewhat fitting that I write a post about caveman tools while watching Queensland play Origin.

There’s a resurgence of "simple" designs – and it doesn’t get much simpler than the caveman… here are two kitchen implements, designed by different people, that are based on life in a cave kitchen.

You can buy that pestle thing here.

You can’t buy these knives yet, but the guy who designed them can be found here.

I found it at dezeen.com.

July 15, 2009

Lost and found

I love good news stories – especially good news stories about survivors or people thought lost being found. The comments from loved ones are always pretty awesome, they’ve just ridden the ultimate emotional rollercoaster going from grief to incredible joy in an instant – and they give hope to anyone who gets stuck on “denial” in the coping cycle…

So this story about a British teenager who went hiking in the Blue Mountains 12 days ago and just turned up alive is awesome – particularly his dad’s response. He flew in from England and was set to leave this afternoon before his son turned up alive.

There’s a sermon illustration here for anyone doing the Prodigal Son – here’s what the dad had to say:

"When I arrived, I thought there was still hope, but after day after day went (I thought) we have to maybe consider something terrible has happened to him.

"I actually didn’t start turning cartwheels until I made the call.

"It was absolutely stunning. I’m like a lunatic, [yelling] ‘My boy’s been found, my boy’s been found,’ " he told reporters.

Police then flew Mr Cass by helicopter to the Blue Mountains so that he could be reunited with his son.

He said he was very pleased to see his son, but also expressed anger at his actions.

"Mistake after mistake he’s made.

"I can’t say I’ll kill him, it would spoil the point of him coming back.

"[But] I’m going to kick his arse.”

July 15, 2009

Homebaked: Cookies in the car

Did you know that you can bake biscuits in your car? Me neither.

It’s summer in the US so the US Lifehacker is featuring great tips for "surviving the heat".

Here’s a car cookie recipe (if you don’t just want to buy pre-mixed cookie dough)… here’s the original source of this baked goodness.

Car-Baked Chocolate Chip Cookies
1 1/2 cups all purpose flour
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 cup butter, soft
1/4 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup sugar
1 large egg
2/3 cup mini chocolate chips

July 15, 2009

Would you like salt with that?

My WebSalt article about the Greens is now up. You should go over there, read it, and argue it out with me in the comments… It’s much more balanced than my regular blogging fodder because it’s not polemic – it’s balanced… I hope.

“But there is much in their policy platform to celebrate – an Australian Christian Lobby media release issued prior to the 2008 election praised the Greens for their strong stance on climate change, refugees, overseas aid, work life balance and poverty. These are important issues – and should be serious concerns for biblical Christians.” “The criteria that determine an individual’s political preference will come down to personal convictions – that’s the fundamental freedom offered by a liberal democracy. So voters need to decide for themselves whether caring for the poor should be the government’s concern or the church’s? Or whether we should impose a Christian ethical framework on non-believers? Can we vote for a party that purposefully pursues an easing of restrictions in the circumstances surrounding the termination of the lives of unborn children? Just how much of a concern is the environment?”

July 15, 2009

Five types of bloggers

I’ve been thinking a bit about the nature of blogging. I love blogging, and I love reading blogs. It seems to me that in most of the spheres in which I read blogs there are just five types of blogger.

These spheres – if you’re interested – are (on the basis of the names of categories in my Google Reader subscriptions) – People, Christianity, Coffee, How To, Humour, Gadget, Bargains, Web, and News.

The five types of blogger are “The Creator”, “The Curator”, “The Aggregator”, “The Commentator”, and “The Journaller.” There are probably more – and some blogs are mixes of both – I think I’m probably a mixture of all three.

The Creator

The Creator is perhaps the most exciting kind of blogger – they put up new material, their own thoughts, pictures, products, designs and concepts. They are read for their brilliance and because they supply ideas that keep the blogosphere afloat through generating spin off discussions and things that people want to link to.

The Curator

The Appreciator is a blogger who collects the best bits of thoughts and things from around the blogosphere and collates them – different to “The Aggregator” in that their topics can be wide and varied “The Appreciator” tends to provide a picture of themselves based on what it is they curate.

The Aggregator

Like the Appreciator but with a much more defined scope – Aggregators focus on a particular topic and go looking around the interwebs for material along a theme – in many cases they’ll be creators/aggregators providing their own content but more often featuring things from elsewhere.

The Commentator

Commentators are a bit like Journallers but they’re more opinionated – and more likely to make comment on current events than on their own circumstances. Some provide entertaining observations on life around them (rather than their own lives).

The Journaller

Journallers use their blogs as a journal – they don’t tend to care if people are reading or not and their content is usually of a reflective, personal or ranty nature and based on day to day life.

Journallers are also the most likely to be guilty of oversharing – generally because they’re not necessarily expecting readers, and if they are they don’t really care about maintaining readership.

What type of blogger do you think you are? Have I missed any types?

 

July 15, 2009

Don’t get tied to your desk

This is funny. I’m not sure it will work in this size – but it made me laugh lots – and I found it here.

July 14, 2009

YouTube Tuesday: Perils of Gaming

We’ve all read stories about Chinese gamers who die mid session (because they forget to eat) – but here’s a lesser known gaming ailment – First Person Shooter Disease – or Duke Nukem’s Disease. Be careful.

July 14, 2009

A bunch of links – July 14, 2009

July 14, 2009

Men are better at…

Music. Apparently. Cop this playa haters… Triple J run a competition to track down the best 100 songs of all time. They make the process democratic… and bam. No female artists. In fact, very little female presence at all.

The SMH is running a left-wing fuelled paranoid condemnation of the countdown (or the voters… well not really, it’s more an opinion piece bemoaning the results) – and yet the facts don’t lie. Males are superior.

However, as the countdown progressed, something sinister emerged: of the 100 tracks that ended up comprising the list, there were no female artists. Not even “equal but different”. Lets see you artsy lefties trying to condemn the church on gender roles now…

The only women to appear in any notable capacity were The White Stripes’ drummer Meg White (Seven Nation Army, number 20), Massive Attack guest vocalists Elizabeth Fraser (Teardrop, 22) and Shara Nelson (Unfinished Sympathy, 93), Pixies bassist Kim Deal (Where Is My Mind, 29), Smashing Pumpkins bassist D’arcy Wretzky (1979, 35; Bullet with Butterfly Wings, 51; Today, 78), and Pulp keyboardist Candida Doyle (Common People, 81). And that’s it. Female artists with a history of solid Triple J airplay disappeared from the proceedings: Frente, P. J. Harvey, Tori Amos, Hole, Missy Elliott, Garbage, The Mavis’s, Bjork and Missy Higgins. They were all, to borrow Maya Arulpragasam’s stage name, M.I.A.

July 14, 2009

Sans comic sans

Comic Sans was a font designed with a very specific purpose in mind – and it quickly outlived that usefulness.

If you use it regularly – and particularly in “professional” documents or presentations – please cease and desist.

If, like me, you’re frustrated by the use of this abominable font – visit bancomicsans.com and join the cause.

July 14, 2009

Time Machine

Windows Live Writer apparently thinks we’re in the future. Some posts have now reappeared in their natural chronological order.

Windows Live Writer is really handy. You should check it out (if you haven’t already started using it).

July 14, 2009

Addiction

91%How Addicted to Blogging Are You? I’m pretty addicted to blogging. Apparently. How about you? Find out.

July 14, 2009

Cartoons in real life

Ben posts Peanuts comics on Thursdays. They’re a fun reminder of days flicking through Snoopy comics and playing the Snoopy Game on the Amiga.

Well, this post should excite him greatly – a real life Charlie Brown – courtesy of a Mr Tim O’Brien – who produced this for an exhibition entitled “Monsters”. It’s great.

Another artist name Pixeloo – or whose site is named Pixeloo – has put together a bunch of “real life” cartoon (and game) characters… they’re kind of freaky.

July 14, 2009