Daddy-O

Friend Michel wrote a second email overnight – advising me that I am to contact the security company that holds his secret stash. So secret that even his potential killers – apparently his uncles – do not know about it.

Dearest Daddy Campbell,

Please I want you to know that the consignment is still with the security company where my late father deposited it. The security company does not know that the box contains money because when my late father was depositing the trunk box that contains the money with Security Company, he makes it look like the trunk box contains Art Craft / Family Valuables. He did this to protect the money from his greedy business partners and wicked relatives in case anything happens to him. Now they have sucided to poison him to death, I become an orphan and since the sudden death of my father, my uncles have seized all my father’s properties including my father’s only personal account where I get money for my daily upbringings.

Lying to a bank? That can only end in tears. But his uncles do sound nasty. He also wants me to visit him in his home country.

I would also want to know if you will be available to come here in my country cote d’ivoire to meet me in person so that both of us will go to the ministry to get the legal documents and submit to the security company for processing of the change of ownership in your name for easy delivery of the consignment to you. Pls If your work will not permit you to come here, I will negotiate with an attorney to know how we can get those documents on our behalf and submit them to the security company.

But first, I must contact the security company and introduce myself – but by no means should I reveal the box contains money.

I think maybe, just maybe, I will let that little tidbit slip, and then try to cut a deal with the banker for a 20% cut of the contents.

Anyway, I wrote to Mr Duke, the security company manager.

Dear Mr Duke,

I am writing to inform you that I am the legal guardian of an account holder within your institution.

Michel has urged me to call you on the telephone – unfortunately I would prefer my dealings with him, and you, to be treated under the strictest confidence. As I’m sure you understand. I will not be calling you by phone. This is not possible. But please understand that I am who I say I am.

I have attached a copy of the deposit certificate for a collection of family trinkets you have in your secure deposit facility. The item is a metal trunk. I will be organising the withdrawal of this deposit box on behalf of my son, Michel.

Please, can you advise me what documents I must fill in in order to change the ownership of this deposit from the name of my charge to my name.

The author

Nathan runs St Eutychus. He loves Jesus. His wife. His daughter. His son. His other daughter. His dog. Coffee. And the Internet. He is the campus pastor at Creek Road South Bank, a graduate of Queensland Theological College (M. Div) and the Queensland University of Technology (B. Journ). He spent a significant portion of his pre-ministry-as-a-full-time-job life working in Public Relations, and now loves promoting Jesus in Brisbane and online. He can't believe how great it is that people pay him to talk and think about Jesus.

2 thoughts on “Daddy-O”

  1. dude, you’re freakin me out. I’d be way too scared to enter in to all that. I’m enjoying the vicarious ride, though. Just be careful of what can come of people’s jealousyness, Daddy.

  2. I was pretty freaked out when he called me on the phone yesterday. He hasn’t emailed back since this morning though. Perhaps he’s asleep. From what I’ve seen elsewhere as soon as you let them know you know they’re a scammer they back out.

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