Superhero Supply Store

I’ve written about Real Life Super Heroes and the Real Life Super Hero Registry before. Those not sure what I’m talking about should check those links before reading further – or just read this one sentence summary: There are people who dress up in costumes and run around fighting crime… for real…

Now, we’re on the same page.

I’ve always wondered where Real Life Super Heroes go to get their awesome supplies and costumes. Well, now I know. The Brooklyn Superhero Supply Co – “Online purveyors of high quality crime fighting merchandise” indeed. They sell the complete range of Super hero requirements from capes to cartography… and everything in between (including Robots).

The Standard Cape.

“For over two centuries, the BSSCo. Standard 58″ Superhero Cape has been the industry standard in fly-wear for professional heroes. Every cape we ship meets all Superhero Alliance and FAA regulation requirements, and is specially designed for maximum flight control and resistance to air burn.”

There are occupational hazards that you may not consider before taking on the role – but the Super Hero Supply Co has you covered.

A Flight Tilt Indicator

“For mid-flight orientation and positioning, the Flight Tilt Indicator finds and displays the angle of your vehicle relative to the Earth’s axis”

Run Arrest

“Fast-drying, Compound X-based formula for sealing torn seams on tights, leotards, capes, hoods, gloves, and other non-breathable superheroic fabrics.”

Canned Intelligence

“Our neuro-oil formula is specially designed to meet the demands of heroes in the field:

-Eliminates idle, repetitive thinking.
-Restores quickness to one-liner delivery.
-Prevents corrosion from sidekick.

Recommended for use with brain mold, power supplements, and all weaponry. Improved performance on TV quiz shows or standardized tests not guaranteed.”

One Gallon of Omnipotence

Matter

“Fundamental building block of the material universe, in convenient evaporated powder.”

And Anti-Matter

“BSSCo. Antimatter reverses the process by which subatomic energy organizes into material form. Suggested for use in the dissolution of all material structures, including human and non-human bodies, all forms in nature, buildings, material planets, unwanted hair, paperwork.

WARNING: Ordering in the same shipment as Matter is a waste of 20 bucks.”

Coming soon…

There’s heaps more there – so get ordering and get on with saving the world…

“What’s really in these cans and bottles?

If you purchase a canned or bottled item, your shipment will include an information card stating exactly what’s inside of it. It is all safe. (Unless you’re a supervillain.)”

The author

Nathan runs St Eutychus. He loves Jesus. His wife. His daughter. His son. His other daughter. His dog. Coffee. And the Internet. He is the campus pastor at Creek Road South Bank, a graduate of Queensland Theological College (M. Div) and the Queensland University of Technology (B. Journ). He spent a significant portion of his pre-ministry-as-a-full-time-job life working in Public Relations, and now loves promoting Jesus in Brisbane and online. He can't believe how great it is that people pay him to talk and think about Jesus.