How to cook bacon like a real man

I promise this is my last post about bacon for at least a day… but you need to read this. If you want to cook bacon like a real man.

Have you got an old machine gun lying around? With about 200 spare rounds of bacon? Then you’re set. If you don’t, then go out now, buy one, and come back. This post won’t go anywhere in the meantime.

I’ve discovered a new way of cooking bacon. All you need is: bacon, tin foil, some string, and.. oh whats it called?… oh yeah, an old worn out 7.62mm machinegun that is about to be discarded, and about 200 rounds of ammunition.

You start by wrapping the barrel in tin foil. Then you wrap bacon around it, and tie it down with some string.

you then wrap some more tin foil around it, and once again tie it down with string.

It is now ready to be inserted into the cooking device. I ripped the tin foil a little bit getting the barrel inserted. that part of the bacon got severely burned by hot gasses.

After just a few short bursts you should be able to smell the wonderful aroma of bacon.

I gave this about 250 rounds. but I think around 150 might actually be enough. But then again I don’t mind when bacon is crispy. Ahh the smell of sizzling bacon mixed with the smell of gunpowder and weapon oil.

And the end result: Crispy delicious well done bacon.