Hey you. Yes, you with the face.
This one time, I didn’t do anything for Valentine’s Day because Robyn and I had said “it’s so commercial and stupid, lets not do anything” – what she meant when she said that was “I hope you do something for me as a surprise”… so at 11:30pm, when I had sensed that she was upset at me for some odd reason, we went out to steal a frangipani clipping from a roundabout. How romantic.
Never again will I be so blasé about the commercially driven romantic non-holiday. So. I give you. Smittens. Gloves for handholders.