Author: Nathan Campbell

Nathan runs St Eutychus. He loves Jesus. His wife. His daughter. His son. His other daughter. His dog. Coffee. And the Internet. He is the pastor of City South Presbyterian Church, a church in Brisbane, a graduate of Queensland Theological College (M. Div) and the Queensland University of Technology (B. Journ). He spent a significant portion of his pre-ministry-as-a-full-time-job life working in Public Relations, and now loves promoting Jesus in Brisbane and online. He can't believe how great it is that people pay him to talk and think about Jesus. If you'd like to support his writing financially you can do that by giving to his church.

Skybury Coffee Plantation

I can’t help but wonder why this plantation isn’t named “sky berry” coffee plantation – given the elevation and the fact that coffee starts off as a berry. But who am I to pass judgment on a name…

I’d been looking forward to visiting a coffee plantation for a while – and the Skybury experience doesn’t disappoint (except perhaps for the coffee at the end). The Zimbabwean owner has big dreams for his farm – which is home to the Australian Coffee Centre. There’s a “Material Change of Use” notification in front of the shed and our guide mentioned plans for a luxury hotel, and it’s certainly beautiful countryside.

The plantation tour was informative – did you know for example that the average coffee tree will produce 7kg of coffee berries per year, and those will result in 1kg of green coffee beans after processing, and that will result in about 850g of roasted coffee, which will result in about 47 double shot coffees. Skybury removes coffee trees every seven years – and only harvests them in their third year of existence – that’s four years of production per tree – or 188 coffees. That’s a high end estimate because there’s a fair bit of sorting that happens between tree and cup – with a lot of beans literally not making the cut. Any beans that don’t meet particular shape, size and density requirements slide of the shaking mechanical graders and become fertiliser – or worse, instant coffee.

The owner of Skybury has also developed a revolutionary piece of harvesting technology – which is best described as a carwash like machine that thwacks the berries off the tree and collects them in a container. This is a significant improvement on handpicking – one person handpicking coffee will harvest about 12kg of green beans per day (that’s 84kg of berries) – half a 25kg coffee sack, a mechanical harvester will harvest 8 tonnes of green coffee in a day – 320 25kg sacks in a day.

Australia produces about 200 tonnes of coffee annually, peanuts as far as exports are concerned… Skybury produces more than half our annual exports. They’re a major player in a pretty small pond on the global scale.

Australian beans are in demand though – the quality control employed in our processing of beans means Skybury sells its beans to the international coffee market at about 3 times the price I pay for my green beans.

The post tour coffee wasn’t the best (or worst) I’ve ever had. It was a cappuccino with no foam at all. It seems Queensland coffee naturally comes in at either extreme of the froth spectrum if you don’t get served an iceberg sized ball of froth you get a millimeter of microfoam and coffee diluted by watery milk.

Mungalli Creek

One of our first stops on the Tablelands was the Mungalli Creek dairy – home of the locally famous Mungalli Creek yoghurt. Coffee Dominion also swears by their milk – apparently it doesn’t gurgle around in your stomach like ordinary milk.

The Mungalli Creek dairy also produces a range of organic cheeses and other milk produce, and a tasty ploughman’s lunch… or in this case brunch.

Threading the narrow backroads of the Milla Milla was no mean feat – but its worth it for a stop and quick stroll at the Mungalli Creek Falls – just so you can play with the exposure settings on your camera…

Port Douglas Holiday

Robyn and I spent the last 5 days (not including today) in far north Queensland – that is anywhere north of Mission Beach (actually our boundaries have been redrawn and it’s probably anything north of Cardwell… statistically speaking)… but I digress.

What follows will be a series of reviews of the things we did while exploring the far north.

We spent most of our time away in Port Douglas – but made a couple of journeys to the tablelands, spent time in Cairns and made an eventful trek to the Daintree rainforest.

For the record, I really like going on holidays with my wife.

Dear planters

I have mentioned my feelings on the current wave of church planting enthusiasm before… But in summary – I think church planting is a good and necessary thing – particularly in areas experiencing population growth. I also think attendance patterns at churches (particularly Presbyterian Churches) in Queensland demonstrate the need for culturally relevant (dare I say “missional”) churches…

But, I am constantly frustrated by church planters and would be church planters putting down the old ways and old guys as they scurry up the ministry ladder. So I was greatly encouraged to read this post by Tasmanian church planter Mikey Lynch on why he likes to hear what the old guys have to say. There are a few bits of his list that seem to damn the old guard with faint praise – but the sentiment is praiseworthy.

You can head over there to read my comment. It’s long. And I feel a little bit like the Apostle Paul when I lay down my “credentials” for feeling the way I do… reluctantly foolish.

Also – in order to maintain my fantastic search engine ranking for the phrase “Driscoll fanboys” I should mention that those are the particular people I’m targeting with this rant.

Driscoll made broad generalisations when he visited our shores that have been latched onto like a mantra by a generation of bullish, headstrong, and arrogant young men (much like myself). Who want to make a difference and perhaps are looking for a point of difference. I’m not talking about people engaged in actual church planting currently – but those in pews being fired up and looking to lay blame for the current state of staid conservatism that misses the cultural mark.

That is all.

C words

I need a word for sport that starts with the letter “c” and is an appropriate category title.

I have ruled out “competition” at this stage because I think that’s misleading.

Due to a bit of a “rebrand” of my categories it’s the only non-c category.

I can’t put up with this for too much longer, it seems I have inherited some of my father’s OCD fueled pedantry after all.

Youtube Tuesday: Pacman in real life

French prankster Remi Gallard has won a couple of nathanintownsville guernseys* in the past for his outrageous stunts. Today he wins a feature for his real life Pacman efforts – the funniest I’ve seen so far (real life Pacmans that is). Especially when he eats someone’s golf ball for a power-up. There’s a subtitled language warning hear (and possibly a spoken one too – I didn’t have the sound on)… but it’s funny. And thematically appropriate…

Dear producers

Producers of news programming in particular – and those who force clips from “…’s got talent” down our throats in the specific.

I don’t watch these shows. I choose not to. I am sick of seeing contestants who needed the platform your show provided paraded before my eyes everywhere I look. They are not news. They are not a “reason to hope” in these gloomy times any more than a lottery winner. They are the products of a vociferous, voracious, voyeuristic viewership – a body I do not wish to belong to.

Leave me alone. Keep your singing cat ladies to yourselves and viewers who have a nominal penchant for these trivialities.

I do not want your singing spam, I do not want them Sam I am.

That is all.

Dear blogger

Please don’t include a big block of ads between your title and your content in your RSS feed. I won’t read it. I won’t scroll down. If you’re lucky I’ll hit the “j” key (in google reader) and skip you. If you do it all the time I’ll just unsubscribe.

I expect better from you – particularly if your blog is all about how to have a better blog.

That is all.

Dear emailer

Please don’t feel compelled to open your missive to me with a joke. Particularly a joke that is not funny. Just get to the point.

That is all.

Self Help Books for Dummies – A beginner’s guide to writing self help books – Introduction

The book bestseller lists in the last few years have been dominated by works of non-fiction. This shouldn’t come as a surprise, as pieces of non-fiction, creative or otherwise, are much easier to write than a novel. Rather than relying on creativity and conventions of narrative, like plot, description and characterisation, non-fiction writers can rely on careful research, experience and the ability to string a cohesive sentence together – never suffer from writer’s block again. Writing is much easier when you don’t have to use your imagination.

While this trend has been worrying to many novelists, the news isn’t all bad. Books in the “self-help” genre have been selling particularly well. The self-help market requires very little research and a writer can achieve success with only a small amount of expertise and a lot of creativity. For those frustrated creative writers out there this piece should be seen as a guide to finding success in the dog-eat-dog world of self-help writing.

The most important thing to have in any industry is a plan. The fewer steps involved in the plan the more efficient and impressive it sounds. However, finding a balance between too much and too little is a very exact science, while a five step plan sounds impressive and well rounded, a two step plan looks like you just haven’t put enough thought into things. Here is this writer’s six step guide to writing a self-help book.

Step 1 – Picking a topic
Step 2 – Choosing a title
Step 3 – Establishing your credentials
Step 4 – Writing the book
Step 5 – Designing the Cover
Step 6 – Getting published

Promises fulfilled

I often make promises here that fall by the wayside – like a post listing all my best posts. That’s turning out to be a bigger ask than I thought… anyway, last week I mentioned I’d follow up my self help guide to taking over the world with a self help guide to self help writing. And here it comes. One post a day for five days.

A bunch of links – April 20, 2009

Our holiday by the numbers

1807 pages of novels read by both of us.
780 photos taken.
1188km driven.
5000+ unread Google Reader items upon our return.

Victim of my own success

I’ve pretty much doubled traffic to my blog in the last few months. Which isn’t that impressive when you start from a low base, but it did bring an unexpected bandwidth issue. Readers, you have cost me $4. But I’m back. And these things only seem to happen when we’re on holidays. Also, I wrote this post on my phone while Robyn is driving over the Cardwell range.

Posts you might have missed

Too many posts to handle? Here’s a quick list of the posts you might have missed this week:
  • Bacon gun will kill you
    Posted on Wednesday, April 15th, 2009 in Oddities
    Anyone reading my blog over the last few weeks may think I have an unhealthy obsession with guns. They’d be wrong. I have an obsession with unhealthy guns – most perfectly epitomised by this the Ba-K-47. An AK 47 made entirely out of bacon. Mmm. Bacon. There are many more pictures of this piece of bacon architectural awesomeness here.
  • I hate the bands that you like
    Posted on Tuesday, April 14th, 2009 in Church
    Generally speaking I’m not a big fan of Christian music. Usually because it’s a cheap and nasty rip off of perfectly acceptable (if not sanctified) secular music tailored to a gullible Christian audience who will fork out money for poor quality material thus perpetuating the existence of bad Christian music by creating a market for it. Wake up people. Stop buying bad Christian music just because it’s Christian. Here’s some of the baddest Christian music ever released (at least judged by the album art) – while these are all thankfully stuck in the past there are modern equivalents who were no doubt performing at Easter Fest over the weekend.
  • Stimulating questions
    Posted on Tuesday, April 14th, 2009 in Politics
    Has anybody out there received their stimulus money yet? I’m curious. Townsville readers probably haven’t – but I’m wondering what percentage of people have.Apparently the Government is essentially casting lots to determine who gets paid when.All cheque and EFT payments will be made using a post code selection process that is randomly generated, ensuring all post codes are evenly distributed to each state and territory each night (using the Australia Post predetermined percentage spread).
  • Twistered towel
    Posted on Tuesday, April 14th, 2009 in Oddities
    Admit it – you’ve always wanted to play twister at the beach. Sand is the perfect surface for contortion induced falls. Now you can engage in your favourite floor game with these functional game mats that double as a comfy towel. They’re not so good for 3D twister – because beaches don’t have walls. For those not in the know – 3D Twister involves 3 mats in the corner of a room with two fixed to the walls.
  • YouTube Tuesday (a day behind)
    Posted on Wednesday, April 15th, 2009 in Culture
    One of my favourite EA sports games was the Rugby League 96 game featuring commentary from Channel 9’s commentary team – with no Phil Gould. I hate Phil Gould (except when he’s coaching NSW). One of Paul Vautin’s frequent pieces of commentary advice was for people who did something stupid to “give themselves an uppercut”. This guy took that advice literally…
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