Category: Christianity

The Waiting Game: A movie to abstain from

This is a movie pitch for a Christian parody of the 40 Year Old Virgin. It is bad on so many levels. They want to raise $2 million for production. The cameo from disgraced minister Ted Haggard is a touch. It’s not a nice touch. But a creepy touch.

“The Waiting Game is about a guy who saves himself for marriage only to have his fiance leave him on their wedding day. He must now decide if it’s worth it to wait again.

This demo trailer was produced to give an idea of what the story might look like.

Our target budget is $2M. Will be directed by Arthur Anderson. Candace Cameron Bure as one of the actors.”

I’m sorry. But this is ridiculous. Does anybody in the world think this is a good idea?

How not to use billboards, and other things the Australian Christian Lobby should learn about the media

What a fortnight it has been for the outdoor advertising industry. Never has religion won them so much mainstream media coverage. Well. Not since the last atheist outdoor advertising campaign in the states.

Here’s the thing. From an advertising perspective, campaign wise, billboards are a pretty rubbish way to do things. If you have a $10,000 budget for a campaign just about the last thing you want to do with it is hire a billboard. You could phone the number of people who will care about your billboard for less than that cost. Billboards are good as part of an integrated media campaign, and they are an especially good way to get media coverage if you put up something outlandish. In fact, the only reasons I’d ever advise using a billboard (and ever have in the past) is a) if it’s free. Like a prize, or some sort of in kind deal with the billboard company, b) if you’re selling high volumes of low value impulse products (like a chocolate bar or a soft drink – Coke reckons if you see their logo six times in a day you’ll buy a bottle), c) if you’re saying something incredibly outlandish and you want to generate media coverage.

This last option is where my interest lies, and in the last few weeks (well months) there have been some interesting case studies in outdoor advertising from religious groups that have become mainstream media stories.

PR companies calculate the value of their marketing efforts using a metric called “equivalent advertising value” or some multiple of the advertising value to get equivalent exposure. I think this method is bollocks, but it can be hard to quantify the value of PR. You can ask why in the comments. It’s not really worth going into.

First cab off the rank was the hugely successful rapture readiness campaign that probably received, in EAV terms, significantly more than the initial advertising spend globally. Billboards don’t come cheap. But neither does TV air time, and this billboard campaign was getting a story an outlet per bulletin for days leading up to the event on broadcast media and features pre-and-post. All because this guy bought some billboards. That’s what you want when you buy billboards. People to notice, to talk, and for buzz to start. That’s why billboards, generally speaking, are more shocking than other ads. You only see them for short bursts so they have to grab you, but they also need to be newsworthy if you want maximum exposure. This is why the push to get g-rated ads is bound to fail, eventually, because shock value is so intrinsic to the medium (we’ll talk more about the ACL below).

Some people would say this billboard is offensive because of its use of Papyrus and the fact that the guy in silhouette looks like he’s constipated. But the message got cut through because it was such an outlandish claim, and because the guy buying them had spent so much money. But you don’t have so spend millions of dollars not talking about Jesus to get media coverage for your religious billboard.

You can also, as it turns out, make claims about Jesus that shock people. Especially if you’re Islamic. And you claim Jesus as your prophet. One wonders if most Muslims have stopped to read what Jesus claims about himself in the Bible which would seem like a pretty natural approach to history (though the Bible is seen as an unreliable witness to Jesus’ prophecy, or so I’m told). So this billboard campaign offers interesting opportunities to have that conversation (see DavidOuld.net for how that might work). But not all Christians view the billboard this way. Evidently. Because some clown tried to tear it down. Which would be a masterstroke of media manipulation if it ended up not being a Christian who did it – because again, a controversial advert, with a controversial follow up, is gold for newspaper editors everywhere. And represents value for money for the advertiser.

Generally speaking, I’m a fan of freedom of speech, which means I am naturally opposed to censorship. Not viewing guidelines. But the prevention of ideas being able to be freely transmitted. Some ideas are criminal, and transmitting them is worthy of being locked up. But as a general rule people I disagree with should be allowed to advertise their messages. Because that’s consistent. The playing field is level. I hate the idea that we are a “Christian country” so therefore other religions shouldn’t be allowed to advertise. It’s wrong on about eight levels. Well. Two. We aren’t really a Christian country, and even if we were, that shouldn’t stop us letting minorities have a voice. There’s censorship of ideas, which is bad because liberty is good, and there’s restrictions on liberty for the sake of not hurting others. Which is good, because hurting others is bad… which brings me to the big gay controversy…

Two people. Cuddling or engaging in foreplay. Necking. Condom in hand, lowered suggestively towards groin. Clothed. The words rip and roll displayed prominently.

Safe sex message or not, I think you’d have a hard time convincing most people that the above scene is “G Rated”… it’s simply not. The subtext is clear. And while being “G Rated” is framed as being about children, it’s really not. It’s about protecting people from things that offend them in public places. I don’t think you need to worry about protecting people from things that offend them where they have a choice to turn off. But a bus stop doesn’t present you with that sort of choice. So even if the subtext goes over the heads of children, which I think it probably does, and even if the message of that ad is important, and it is. I don’t think a bus stop is the place for it.

Wouldn’t it be great if we had somebody out there fighting for G-Rated outdoor advertising.

Oh wait. We do.

The Australian Christian Lobby.

I’ve said before that I’m not really a fan of the Australian Christian Lobby. I’m not a fan of their approach to church and state, to morality, to the fundamental assumptions they have about what is a good witness to people, what will change behaviour, and how Christians should contribute to society. But I could support them on the outdoor advertising thing. I really could. But in this case. Their message is lost. And the advertisers win again. Because the Australian Christian Lobby’s Wendy Francis has a track record of being “homophobic” – thanks to an ill-advised tweet while she was running for Family First. I use the quotes there because she’s not actually homophobic, but rather is said to be. I don’t think she’s scared of gay people, I just don’t think she knows how to approach the issue of homosexuality in public from a Christian perspective. For more on homophobia and a Christian response to homosexuality you should read Brad’s post. I’ve written a couple of things about a Christian approach to gay marriage too.

The problem with the ad described above is that it features two males. Which meant that rather than being about “G Rated Advertising” this was always going to play out as a Christian Lobby Group being homophobic gay haters. “They’re not just scared, they don’t want gay people in the public eye.” That is how the response played out. It was like watching a car crash. And it has made this campaign, and this billboard, one of the most talked about advertising campaigns in Australia at the moment. One of the most talked about topics. And Wendy Francis and the Australian Christian Family First Lobby played right into their hands. Poe’s Law says Christian fundamentalism will be indistinct from Christian satire, and if the ACL hadn’t complained about the billboards the company behind them should have started a Christian satire organisation and complained. It was predictable. It was geared perfectly to not be outrageous and be outrageous at the same time. The company behind the campaign said:

In designing this advert to appear in general settings we were careful to ensure:

  • the models are fully clothed
  • the picture does not depict or imply a specific sex act
  • there are no rude or offensive words used
  • the men are depicted in a non-discriminatory way

While this might be true, I’d still suggest that the ad wasn’t G Rated, and therefore isn’t suitable for outdoor advertising, which should be designed to accommodate the twin poles of freedom of speech and reasonable protection of people (including children) from offense. This was an ad designed to evoke a response. Rip’N’Roll is provocative. I don’t think you can dodge that. Be it describing condom use, or the situation in which such use arises, it is clearly not family friendly.

But the real clincher, and what must have had the company rubbing their hands together with glee was the way the story unfolded. Adshell, the company responsible for the ads, pulled them (strategy anyone?), as a result of a “grass roots” campaign from ACL supporters, possibly in response to this Facebook update from Wendy Francis (that again sails close to the “homophobic” wind – it is clear the two males are an issue, despite what she might have said to Sunrise this morning).

This prompted an outcry. A hoard of angry men and women descended on the ad company waving placards featuring the picture from the ad. This made the news. Politicians got involved. Twitter erupted. The model in the photo chucked a tantrum throwing emotive language around. The billboards are now back up and everybody wins. Except the ACL. Whose important campaign about Outdoor Advertising standards is doomed to failure because they’ve got some idiot idea that talking about your opponents campaign and marketing message is somehow going to get it less attention.

If you get a bad review from the media you shut up. You don’t show all your friends. You don’t fan the flames. You wait for the hubbub to die out. Why bring attention to somebody else’s story. The better move from the ACL would have been to take photos of the billboards and interview people catching buses from the bus stops in question to build a case against non G rated outdoor advertising. But they’re all about pigheaded tenacity in every battle. And not about the war. And apparently about as interested in talking about Jesus as Harold Campling. How can a “Christian Lobby” bang on about stuff so much saying so little about what it means to be a follower of Jesus. You get a free hit on national television on a popular breakfast show and you paint us all as moralising potentially homophobic wowsers. Why not talk about Jesus, even if it’s linked to what Jesus said about marriage and sexuality.

The more we get distracted on the little things, and the more our reputation is built on the way we deal with the little things, the less people listen to us on the big ones. It’s interesting to me that while a guy like Wilberforce was obviously motivated by the gospel, and a passionate witness for Christ, the good deeds he did are in some sense kept separate from that. I can’t ascribe motives to the guy. I don’t know what he was thinking. But I like that things like the RSPCA and the abolition movement, while motivated by his faith, had their own identity. While I think the outdoor advertising campaign is a good thing for society I’m not sure it needs a “Christian” stamp. Maybe we’d be better served if we weren’t creating confusion between what Christians are on about (Jesus hopefully) and what people interested in morality (Christians included) are on about. We don’t want our good deeds to be separated from our motivations – but we don’t want them to cloud the gospel either. That needs to be clear.

We’re Christians because we love Jesus, not because we don’t like other people putting safe sex messages on billboards. Even the Muslims want to talk about Jesus. And we can’t get it right.

That is all.

Atheist wins lotto, converts to Christianity

Lotteries will go broke if this craze catches on and God keeps answering said prayers the same way…

A self-confessed atheist has become a believer after mocking God by sarcastically praying for his mother to win the lottery. However, his joke prayer was amazingly answered as the next day his mother won $1 million on the New York Lottery Sweet Million game.

Better than a wet fleece.

Evolution: The root of all evils?

I’m writing an essay today. It’s about Genesis 1 and what Genesis 1 is about (who and why v what and when: how helpful is this distinction).

I think this cartoon from Answers In Genesis will form the backbone of my argument because it is very scholarly.

I love how they equate evolution with our sinful nature. You can kind of, sort of, if you squint a bit, see where their thinking is coming from.

It’s a bit anachronistic to suggest all the stuff in the balloons on the left is due to evolution isn’t it? As though they all came into being post Darwin.

It’s sad that a necessary Christian corrective of empirical naturalism looks like this.

Atheists who love the Bible

Both Christopher Hitchens, and Richard Dawkins have written recently about their love of the KJV. The new-atheist glitterati are doing their bit to pry the Bible out of the hands of “the religious” and into the hands of English teachers.

There’s a great article on The Punch by the Bible Society’s Roy Williams responding to this trend of atheists damning the Bible with faint praise. It’s well worth a read. The comments aren’t. They’ve become a playground for the type of person who thinks writing lengthy rant comments to reinforce one’s own views is a good use of one’s time. While I love comments here. And discussions (online and in person) there’s something about the complete lack of respect that anti-theists show to any “woo believers” on the internet that just makes me angry and pushes me from my position of centre hugging moderate towards religious extremist. If I read many more of these threads I’ll be voting Family First and donating to the Australian Christian Lobby in the hope of making atheism illegal.

From the article:

“Dawkins is quite candid on this score. He admits that he cannot abide translations of the Bible other than the KJV, whether they are closer to the meaning of the original ancient texts or not. He wants the KJV taught in schools “not as history, not as science and not (oh please not) as morality. But as literature.”

There are serious problems with this argument.

For a start, the 47 men who “wrote” the KJV would have scoffed at any suggestion that their primary task was to produce fine literature. Appointed and supervised by the Bishop of London (later Archbishop of Canterbury), Richard Bancroft, they were chosen on the basis of two criteria.

First, their pre-eminence as biblical scholars – in particular, their detailed knowledge of at least one of the three ancient languages in which the books of the Bible were originally written (Hebrew and Aramaic in the case of the Old Testament; Greek in the case of the New Testament).”

72 million reasons to be depressed the rapture didn’t happen over the weekend

If there’s one thing Harold Campling’s stupidity did manage it was to generate more global buzz around the return of Jesus than any other preacher in the last 20 years. My Facebook and Twitter feeds were filled with rapture chatter – and not just from Christians. People knew about Campling’s predictions. And if you were anything like me – you looked at your watch when the world was meant to end and thought about Campling. I felt sorry for the people he fleeced, and sorry for his future.

But his message reached tipping point. It went viral in a way most brands can only dream of. People are still tweeting #rapturefail messages as we speak.

The secret to this success was the incredible amount of money he poured into getting his message across. That’s what showed he was serious. That and the contributions he secured from other people who also bought into his message.

So now I’m thinking much the same thing I think when I see how much money people pour into building dinosaur theme parks. Wouldn’t it be great if Campling’s message (even if his eschatology is completely screwy) just focused on promoting the gospel of Jesus. Proclaiming the future return of Jesus, who came to restore our relationship with God. If you have $72 million to sink into an advertising campaign and you think the world is going to end on a particular date – just book your campaign to finish on that date and make it all about Jesus. Not about your weird interpretation of dates. Especially if your words, like Campling’s, run completely contrary to everything the Bible says on the issue.

It makes me sad that Campling’s stupidity is now being hijacked as an opportunity to mock anybody who has Christian faith.

If that’s the style of argument the atheists want to bring to this debate then we’re going to have to start judging their claims on the basis of the behaviour of their fringe. But that’s revisiting old ground.

It makes me sick to see so many people talking about the return of Jesus (not the rapture) in the trivial and derogatory way they are thanks to Mr Campling. Which is why I think the Bible takes false teachers pretty seriously.

Shallow Small Groups for contempervant people

“We don’t want to do life together”… because churches should be a mile wide and a couple of inches deep.

This is vaguely funny Christian satire, a couple of steps above not funny at all Christian satire.

This is doing the rounds on Facebook, and probably everywhere else in the Christian internet too. But I’m a day or two behind the times.

Church Sign Fail

I have mentioned in the past that I’m less than excited by most church signs that try to be pithy and end up sucking.

Why churches don’t just use these boards to promote the big idea of each sermon, or you know, the gospel, is beyond me.

Here’s a bit of a doozy in Brisbane (sent to me by my brother-in-law).

War of the words: Third Eagle condemns other doomsday prophet

This is brilliant in so many ways, and on so many levels, starting with the gardening by power tool, finishing with one loon telling off another loon for being a loon. William Tapley v Harold Campling. Gold.

Things are better in κοινη

One of the great things about being a Bible college student is Bible college jokes make sense. Apologies to all my non Bible College readers for this one…

My friend Canadian Mitch sent me this. He has a photo blog, you should check it out.

Also. If you are a college student (particularly a first year at QTC) starting to stress about exams – check out my college resources page, I posted heaps of exam prep stuff last year.

A trillion dollar tip

To say I’m not a fan of the Way of the Master evangelism methodology is an understatement. The name is misleading – unless by “Master” they mean Kirk Cameron or Ray Comfort. Because Jesus didn’t evangelise the way they suggest you evangelise. I share their enthusiasm for the great commission, and for looking for opportunities to evangelise, but to suggest that all proclamations of the gospel should begin with a proclamation of the predicament that requires the gospel is a little misleading (check out their “how to botch an altar call” article.

I don’t like their methodology. I’d say that for every one person they lead to the cross they’ve turned away significantly more by the way they present the message. They’re seasoned with hot chilli, rather than salt.

And perhaps the bit I don’t like most of all is their money tract. Used by cheap Christians instead of tipping all over the US. It’s products like this trillion dollar bill that make me glad I don’t live in the states, because I can’t imagine having to try explaining the lack of monetary tip to the waitress who has done a great job of serving a customer only to be left one of these in the place of actual money:

You can’t pay for your groceries with one of these – and yet there are bozos out there (and I’ve spoken to a few Christian waitstaff who have been given these) who leave these as a substitute for a tip. Perhaps because they’ve actually bought each Trillion Dollar Bill for $5. Here. Buy some of my fake money for $5. That’s a get rich quick scheme.

Ray Comfort suggests that this note is actually a “light hearted way to get the message across” – which it could potentially be, if the message on the back was an invitation to start building a relationship with a church that teaches about Jesus. Instead the blurb on the back reads:

“The trillion-dollar question: Will you go to Heaven when you die? Here’s a quick test. Have you ever told a lie, stolen anything, or used God’s name in vain? Jesus said, “Whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Have you looked with lust? Will you be guilty on Judgment Day? If you have done those things, God sees you as a lying, thieving, blasphemous adulterer at heart. The Bible warns that if you are guilty you will end up in Hell.”

That’s the opening. Now. It’s all true. And they do get to Jesus. Eventually – but who is going to keep reading? I know one guy who was converted reading some tracts, but only after he’d spent so much time with the lady who gave them to him that he thought “maybe I should read that stuff she gave me”…

Here’s where the blurb goes next.

“God, who the Bible says is “rich in mercy” sent His Son to suffer and die on the cross for guilty sinners. We broke God’s Law, but Jesus paid our fine. That means He can legally dismiss our case. He can commute our death sentence: “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” Then He rose from the dead and defeated death. Please, repent (turn from sin) today and God will grant everlasting life to all who trust in Jesus. Then read your Bible daily and obey it.”

God loves you. He paid the price. Turn to Jesus. Trust and obey. Great. That’s the gospel. (though it does have huge potential to become pretty legalistic, doesn’t it? Is daily Bible reading really required for those who trust in Jesus?).

There is just so much wrong with the strategy behind this. It completely fails to understand the importance of medium in presenting a message. It’s just awful. How any Christian can not see how important and related medium and message are when we worship the Lord Jesus, God’s word become flesh, is beyond me. If that’s not a case of medium and message being all wrapped up together I don’t know what is.

The problem isn’t just “strategic” – in reacting against something bad (sloppy presentations of an “all loving God”) these guys have gone to the other extreme. And I’d like to see a passage in the Bible where Jesus deals with an outsider by treating them as an outsider. I’m writing an exegesis paper on the story of Zacchaeus today, where a corrupt outcast meets Jesus, who doesn’t turn to him and say “Zacc, you’re a horrible sinner and you must repent before I’ll have anything to do with you.” No. He says: “Zacchaeus, come down immediately. I must stay at your house today.” And then Zacchaeus responds by repenting. I just don’t get the “way of the master” part of the act of handing out fake money that tells people they’re going to Hell.

A fishy Sunday School lesson

There are no words to describe just how bad this idea is.

It’s as bad as that joke that goes:
Joker: Did you hear about the guy who killed all the [disliked minority group] and one clown?
Other person: Why the clown?
Joker: See, nobody cares about [disliked minority group]

Via Reddit.

Godly music v ungodly music…

It’s important to know the difference. Apparently. Saxophone jazz is out. Saxophone muzak is in. Because it’s important that church sounds like an elevator.

You know the song “Heart and Soul” that every kid plays on the piano – it’s out. It’s a “Boogie-woogie” song, and thus unsuitable for gospel/worship music. Because it makes the body want to dance.

The Nu-Thang man: Horrible Christian rap and a nice follow up

You know how sometimes I’m forced to post speculative questions like “what were the parents of this kid thinking when they let him make a fool of himself in front of a camera”…

Well. In this case. I don’t have to. Because the guy behind this video has come forward. He’s now a 29 year old lawyer. And he responds to his viral infamy with grace and class.

“In retrospect, I think the performance shows a green-eared, gutsy attempt to passionately perform something I believed in. Does it look a little cheesy 19 years later? Sure. Are my clothes outdated even for 1992? Probably. Did I need an inhaler? A little oxygen would have helped!”

“I don’t think the purpose of the video was to convert people in the first place. Think about it. It’s a Christian TV show being watched by other Christian children…some of whom grew up and are now laughing at themselves for wearing flowery pirate pants.”

Why correct attribution of quotes matters (and why I don’t often quote people)

I’m not normally a pedant. I hope. But I found myself informing many of my friends that the Martin Luther King Jr quote they posted on Facebook was bogus. Why? After a bit of a heated discussion with a friend – now redacted and consigned to the nether regions of my email inbox and wherever Facebook’s super-spy-computer keeps them so they can serve me better ads – I decided that I think attribution of ideas is important. It might not matter quite as much if the person being quoted is dead, as is the case here, because it’s not doing real damage to somebody the way wrongly attributing a quote can. It’s not because I want to protect Martin Luther King’s legacy that I think this is bad, but because I think truth is important. Much more important than correct punctuation, and possibly important enough to risk offense over.

I pretty much entirely agree with the sentiment of Martin Luther King Jr’s actual quote.

“Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.”

And I want people to care. I want people to value life and to see how similar the response to Osama’s death has been to the response in the Arab world to the September 11 attacks, where some sectors of the community danced and chanted in front of TVs.

I’d love people to stop and think before rushing outside chanting, celebrating, and raising the stars and stripes – or worse, copying this guy…

Via 22 Words

But say you disagree with the quote. Say you’re with motorbike man in the video above. Say you think Osama deserved to get it in the neck. Deserved much worse (which he did – if we’re working on some sort of economy of scale). Say you think this is an event worthy of celebration. And say you read that quote, and then check out its authenticity, and find that its a half truth. Are you then going to feel convicted by such a quote? I’d say there are many in that boat who aren’t. People who will dismiss the quote as though the well has been thoroughly poisoned.

The way we present a message matters almost as much as the message itself. The boundaries between medium and message matter. People are cynical. Snopes.com exists. Credibility is important – and correct attribution isn’t just part of being credible, but part of being truthful. And as a Christian, a Christian who wants people to listen when I talk about the incredible gospel of the resurrected Jesus, I can’t afford to be sloppy with the truth on small stuff. Because I want people to believe big stuff.
I agree with the quote. And yet. I haven’t posted it on my wall.

Partly this is because I haven’t read it in context. I have no idea what point MLK was actually making. Which I think is fundamentally important. Attributing the correct words to somebody without context is dangerous – it is, I think, one of the biggest hurdles to Christian mission. Years of poor proof texting, stripping verses of context is one massive factor preventing people engaging with and understanding the Bible.

I’d also much rather put the sentiment in my own words than have it come from somebody famous, as if the sentiment is only true because somebody famous said it was true. That’s a bizarre and dangerous argument from authority – and for Christians it runs the risk of creating some sort of super apostle where an idea is only worthy if it comes from someone with a special annointing.

Feel free to quote this post on Facebook. Attributed to me. But I’d prefer you to say something similar in your own words if you agree with me, while the viral spread of an idea is powerful, I have a hunch that the organic spread of an idea is longer lasting. I think that was probably the essence of Martin Luther King’s mission – while lots of us remember his “I have a dream” speech – many more people, people who have no idea who MLK was, have been influenced by the idea that all humans are created equal because people took the essence of that speech and ran with it.

That’s why I’ll be a pedant on stuff like this, and not on stuff that doesn’t matter quite so much (like your spelling, or your grammar, or your font – though those things are also part of how we package our message). That’s why I’m more likely to join a discussion involving an incorrect attribution or factual error in public, while I’d just privately tell you you’ve spelled a word wrong… because it’s important that the people who’ve read what you’ve said know that it’s not true too. I’ll try to be loving in the way I tell you you’re wrong though. Because that’s also part of the “medium” and the “message”…