Category: Christianity

“Kinetic Ministry” makes me want to apply palm to face with force…

So it works. Right? I feel a movement. Check out this guy, Caleb Brundidge, who is one of the “drunk in the spirit” mob I’m so fascinated by. Except he’s a dancer/DJ.

Here’s the little blurb that came with this video:

“Caleb Brundidge Is sensitive to the atmosphere as here since the presence of Angels stirring up the earths atmosphere.”

This is the blurb that he posted on this next video. Of himself flag dancing.

“Caleb is a awesome Flagger He moves in dance and flag worship like none other. You must watch this Video of Him flagging.”

Here he is doing “church” with some sort of Superman cape on…

When he “worships” with flags it opens up portals in the atmosphere. Like Moses opening the Red Sea.

They use the terms of Christianity. But I do not think it means what they think it means.

On a slightly related note – here’s another video from Australia’s own “New Mystic” – Matt Foord. Watch for the “Cockadoodle Doo”…

February 6, 2011

Christoga: It’s Yoga + Jesus

I have a nagging feeling that I posted this – or something very much like it – once before. I couldn’t find it. I wonder what Al Mohler thinks of this…

I wish this was a joke. Really.

February 6, 2011

Possibly the Oddest Christian Child Star you’ll see today

This guy’s name is Matthew Matney. And he’s all grown up (now). Back when he wasn’t starring in amateur theatre in a town called Branson he was a Christian child star.

So awful. So very awful. I feel sorry for kids who grow up with this sort of dirty laundry aired on YouTube. And here I am perpetuating it. But lets all try to learn a lesson from this and:

a) Don’t post videos of your children on the Internet.
b) Don’t encourage your children to do stupid things that might get posted on the Internet.

February 4, 2011

Pastor Anderson: How to play guitar in church

For those struggling to get the music in church right, and looking to use more than the “traditional piano and organ”… you can play any song in the hymnal with just C, F, and G.

February 4, 2011

Justin Bieber: an “effeminate little sissy” says Pisseth Against the Wall pastor

Steven Anderson likes to say controversial things to get attention. It works. Here’s his take on Bieber Fever.

It’s pretty much all because the NIV translators use the word “male” instead of “men”… and being effeminate is a sin. See 1 Corinthians 6:9. In the KJV because that’s Anderson’s preferred version.

” 9Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,

10Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.”

I suspect, given the Roman cultural context of the passage, there may actually be some homosexual undertones to this word (certainly there’s reference to that in the ESV translation notes). The ESV translates it as:

” 9Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, 10nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.”

Here’s the Greek – which means Mr Anderson isn’t being very nice to Justin Bieber.

μαλακός,a \{mal-ak-os’}
1) soft, soft to the touch  2) metaph. in a bad sense  2a) effeminate  2a1) of a catamite  2a2) of a boy kept for homosexual relations with a man  2a3) of a male who submits his body to unnatural lewdness  2a4) of a male prostitute

Once you’ve jumped on the meterosexual hating bandwagon – here’s how to doorknock… I love the way he listens.

February 4, 2011

Shirt of the Day: A visual guide to the men of the Bible

I’d buy this if it didn’t only come in pink.

From here.

February 2, 2011

Cyclone Yasi

I’m a bit concerned for my Townsville friends (and friends scattered throughout North Queensland) as they prepare for the imminent arrival of Tropical Cyclone Yasi. My first day selling Townsville to the world was the day of Cyclone Larry – this is heaps worse. So North Queensland is going to need a lot of help post cyclone – not the least of their worries is getting tourists back into towns dependant on the tourist dollar.

But images like these are going to make that job difficult. This cyclone is massive and scary. And makes me glad that just over a year ago (1 year and 5 days) we moved south.


Image Credit: NASA

This cyclone is the same size as the US. Almost.

Praying for those I know, and those I don’t, staring down the barrel of this incredible weather system. And thinking about praying that a dislodged branch may fly from North Queensland and strike Danny Naliah down for the stupid dribble he brings out at times like this…

It is very sad that this dark chapter in Australia’s history is led by an atheist Prime Minister in Julia Gillard and an openly homosexual Greens leader who seems to be the Deputy Prime Minister by default, both who have no regard for God nor Prayer.

Catch the Fire Ministries president Dr Daniel Nalliah said Julia Gillard was not elected by the majority of the Australian people, but rather the personal decision of two power hungry independent MPs who catapulted Ms Gillard to the top job.

“Are we Aussies all paying for that decision? It is very well known that throughout history, in a time of national crisis, Kings, Prime Ministers and Presidents of countries around the world have turned to God, irrespective of whether they were Christian, Buddhist, Hindu or Muslim and asked for help or at least called the nation to pray for protection and for the victims of the disaster,” Dr Nalliah said.

“However, for the past several weeks, right through the flood crisis across Australia, I have not heard our Prime Minister call the people of Australia to pray and ask God for protection and for help for the tens of thousands of people who have become victims of this major disaster,” he said.

I’ve said it once. I’ve said it twice. The man is Christianity’s equivalent of an ambulance chaser. With the same propensity for cashing in on people’s misery in order to benefit himself.

February 2, 2011

John Piper ruins Twitter again…

The impetus for my Mark Driscoll Ruined Facebook post was a post from elsewhere (linked in that one) suggesting that John Piper’s incredibleness had ruined Twitter because he spawned so many imitators.

I’m hoping this tweet doesn’t get repeated too much. There are some Bible verses that just aren’t really cut out for pulling out of context and moralising:

February 2, 2011

Ponies for Jesus

If you want to buy a birthday present for the little girl in your life – daughter, sister, niece or friend – or perhaps for an effeminate friend – you should most definitely consider investing in one of these:

It’s a Praise Pony. Because My Little Ponies are the spawn of Satan. What do you think the Four Horsemen ride?

Kerusso – the company who made the ponies – don’t seem to have them on the web any more. But they do have “God’s Girlz” – Barbie dolls without the associated self image stigma.

Via A Little Leaven.

February 2, 2011

A biblical guide to picking up girls…

Step 1. Hold around the waist.
Step 2. Lift.

No. That was a bad joke. This is a video promoting Song of Songs pick up lines. It looks like it features Ben Witherington IV (which I assume is what Ben Witherington III would name his son?). I really have no idea if it is. I made that up.

February 2, 2011

Bad Christian Rap…

Eww.

Double eww.

And umm. Again. Bad.

Found these on White People Rapping Poorly. Enjoy is probably the wrong word.

February 1, 2011

10 tips for hot Christian evangelism: A guide to missionary dating from a “hot Christian”

Oh. My. I hope this is satirical. I really do. From a website called Date to Save comes this list of tips for using your looks for the gospel.

From the site:

“Hello, my name is Tamara! As you can probably tell, I’m a Christian woman who loves Jesus Christ and cares for all humans, even the wicked. What you probably don’t know is that I’m hot. My picture below isn’t really that good. I want to use my beauty for GOD, and want to encourage Christian women (my sisters in Christ) to do the same, according to the Great Commission.”

“So, I created this web page for information regarding the calling of Missionary Dating. First of all, it helps that you’re good looking. Romans 12:1 says “to offer your bodies as living sacrifices.” Since our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Cor. 6:19), it makes sense that we should use our beautiful bodies to glorify HIS name, the Holy Spirit will work the strongest since He’s in our body, right? That’s the best position to be in!

Not only can we date hot guys (as only hot Christian girls could do), but hopefully we can lead them to God and help them get saved them from the burning fires of Hell. I’ve outlined a few tips to help you get a date off to the right start, step-by-step. Jesus saves through hooking up with cute heathen guys!”

Ten Tips for Hot Christian Evangelism
1. If he tells you that you are hot…
Tell him God made you hot.

2. If he wants to hold your hand…
Give him a Bible.

3. If he tries to get closer…
Tell him the Holy Spirit is wooing him.

4. If he asks to pay for dinner…
Remind him that Jesus also paid a debt He did not owe!

5. If he reaches his arm around you…
Tell him that nobody will ever be as close to you as Jesus is.
(or ask him if you instead could “lay hands” on him in prayer)

6. If he tries to kiss you…
Remind him that a kiss killed your Savior.
(and you’re not ready to “speak in tongues”)

7. If he asks to come inside…
Ask him if he has asked Jesus to come inside his heart.

8. If he tells you he loves you…
Tell him that Jesus loves him.

9. If he gets angry that you won’t put out…
Clarify to him that W.W.J.D. does NOT mean “Who would Jesus Do.”

10. After you dump him…
Tell him that Jesus Christ will never leave or forsake him.

February 1, 2011

Money for something, and your kicks for free

Dave Miers is raising money so that kids can drink clean water in India. You should help him meet his target of $2,000. He’s got $600 left. For one day only – if you donate money to his fundraising cause and tell me (I’ll check) I’ll send you 250gm of freshly roasted coffee for every donation of $30 or more. I’ll even buy and roast some Indian Coffee for the occasion.

Here’s the direct link to the donation page. Here’s the link to a post on his blog.

I think it’s a good cause, and I’m happy to support it. I do like the poetry of supporting clean water in India by offering to dirty yours.

January 29, 2011

How not to teach children to give generously

I’m not sure that stealing somebody’s money and giving it to the church is going to engender a spirit of generosity. What do you reckon.

GOD’S MUSCLE! from EIT! on Vimeo.

Apparently Peter is a standover man.

January 27, 2011

Old Skool Christian Music

You know that song about being to young to march in the infantry, ride in the cavalry or shoot the artillery… here’s what happens if some adults make a film clip for it.

That sort of thing just doesn’t age well. I’m sure it was the coolest thing out back in the 1970s.

January 27, 2011