We spotted this at our favourite cafe on Saturday – while I’m not a grammar nazi I am an irony fan – so this made me laugh. I tested it on people at work and most of them thought the slogan was funny without noticing the glaring error.
Category: Consciousness
Guide to better working
Successful careers are a matter of working smarter not harder. I’m almost positive that’s the case. Every job has “short cuts” or tricks of the trade to make things easier. Here’s a collection of some of the best – from some obscure trades and some normal every day careers.
My favourites:
Mechanic
If you have to change a light bulb where the glass is broken, you can press a potato into the metal base to unscrew the remains of the bulb from the fixture.
Graphic Designer
If you have a client who is unable to approve a proposed design without putting her stamp on it, just put an obvious error in the proposal: a logo that’s too large, a font that’s too small, or a few judiciously seeded typos. The client requests the change and feels she’s done her part—and your design, which was perfect all along, sails through to approval.
Proofreader
If you’re reading too fast, your brain can “correct” typos, preventing you from catching them. That’s why it’s sometimes a good idea to read a page upside-down. It forces you to pay closer attention to individual words out of context, and you can’t race through pages too fast.
If the hue fits
I’m colour blind. This has awesome repercussions – like not being able to be conscripted. Sucked in everyone else.
It’s bad when I’m playing pool and calling my shots, or when I’m watching election coverage on the ABC and wondering why both parties are a funny shade of red/green.
Are you colour blind? Maybe even a little? Find out using this easy “Hue Test” – found at bookofjoe.
Buy Coffee
The St Eutychus Coffee Roastery is open for business.
Are you tired of falling asleep in lectures or sermons?
Are you tired of paying more than $30 for a kilo of coffee beans?
Do you want freshly roasted coffee for a fraction of the price you’d pay at your boutique roastery?
Order your coffee here. I’ll mail it anywhere in Australia (at your cost).
Godwin’s Law of Signage
If your business name evokes thoughts of the holocaust – change it.
From this Flickr set of unfortunate names (some of them are rude).
Fully sick
I’m at home with “man flu” today, and it’s school holidays, and our friend Trav is here to visit. So we’re watching movies on the couch. Stay tuned for reviews.
The importance of clear communication
Bagging out U2 on a public forum had some unexpected consequences. I’m not talking about the outcry from Christians keen to hang their hats on the Bono coathook of public Christianity.
No. It’s changed the way I engage in conversation with my wife. Now, if she says “I love you” – I say “I love you also” lest I be branded a hypocrite.
Happy New Year
The new financial year starts today. You’re no doubt all very excited.
I am. I made some new financial year resolutions. They’re the only resolutions worth keeping (and I’ve managed twice in the past).
This year I’m giving up fast food and soft drink. Take that calories.
I thought about giving up beer and coffee too – but then I’d be grumpy all the time.
I did soft drink in 06/07 and fast food in 07/08 – and nothing in 08/09 – so this year is a combined effort.
Have you made any? Financial year resolutions are awesome.
Mum’s the word
I found out yesterday that my mum has a blog. My wife told me. Why had I not been informed?
It’s a bit of a Campbell family recipe book. You should check it out.
The icecream was delicious…
“Ingredients:
4 eggs
3/4 cup icing sugar – sifted
300mls creamMethod:
Whisk the egg yolks in a bowl until well blended.
In another larger bowl whisk the egg whites until stiff then whisk in the icing sugar a spoon at a time.
In a third bowl whisk the cream until it forms soft peaks, then fold into meringue mixture with egg yolks.
Turn into a 1500ml container, cover and freeze.Flavours:
Vanilla – add 1 tsp vanilla essence to cream
Coffee – add 2 Tsp strong coffee and 1 Tsp rum or brandy to mixture before freezing
Chocolate – mix 2 Tsp cocoa with 4 Tsp cold milk, warm until blended then combine with 60gm melted chocolate and fold into mix before freezing
Dried Fig and Ginger – Chop one cup of dried figs – cover with strong black chai tea til soft combine with 1/2 cup diced ginger and 1/2 tsp cardammon then blend into ice cream mix and freeze”
If you go there and comment – be nice or you’re in big trouble.
Barefoot and fancy free – The gripping conclusion
I dropped by my nemesis’s site tonight – I was bored. It seems the barefoot bum has been spanked by blogger for breaching their terms.
I did consider flagging him as inapprorpriate – but I can’t remember if I ended up doing so… serves him right. He was a nasty piece of work.
“Blogger strongly believes in freedom of speech. We believe that having a variety of perspectives is an important part of what makes blogs such an exciting and diverse medium. With that said, there are certain types of content that are not allowed on Blogger. While Blogger values and safeguards political and social commentary, material that promotes hatred toward groups based on race or ethnic origin, religion, disability, gender, age, veteran status, or sexual orientation/gender identity is not allowed on Blogger.”
Good news
Good news people. If all goes according to plan I stand to receive $45 million in coming weeks. No, I haven’t bought a ticket in the record lottery draw – I have received correspondence from friends in Ghana, China and Scotland – all offering me $15 million for participating in transactions of various legality.
I will update you with my progress accordingly.
Home Alone
Robyn’s on the farm until Wednesday with her folks. I’m home alone. I have set booby traps accordingly. Those wet bandits aren’t going to catch me unawares.
I am “celebrating” by staying up late, drinking beer, eating fast food for my meals and hopefully playing some computer games tomorrow… and I’m blogging, obviously.
Smells like mean spirit
An atheist blogger has suggested a new product line… Richard Dawkins cologne. Its odour is no doubt offensive to Christians everywhere.
Open letter to people who make “urgent” requests
Dear “Urgent” requester,
I understand that you want me to do something urgently but the fact that you write “urgent” on an unsolicited email does not (unless you are my boss or you are responsible for a significant amount of my funding) – make your request urgent.
If you send it to me between 4.30pm and 5pm when I am watching the clock I will be likely to treat it with the contempt it deserves.
Perhaps if the job is so urgent it is your planning process that needs timely revision.
That is all.
Open letter to Queensland
Dear Queensland,
Poking fun at people from outside the state because of the result of a football game they had no control over is not clever. It’s not really funny either – unless you’re a funny person.
I did not play football for New South Wales last night. Neither did 6,889,983 other New South Welshmen… ignoring that part of that population statistic are migratory Queenslanders. Nor would I have picked 70% of the chosen players to represent me on the Rugby League field.
To pick on me because of that result is ludicrous. It’s also pretty close to the dictionary definition of racism:
1. The belief that race accounts for differences in human character or ability and that a particular race is superior to others.
2. Discrimination or prejudice based on race.
Just something to think about next time you insult me on the basis of having been born interstate.
That is all.
Regards,
Nathan Campbell,
Townsville