Category: Culture

The Waiting Game: A movie to abstain from

This is a movie pitch for a Christian parody of the 40 Year Old Virgin. It is bad on so many levels. They want to raise $2 million for production. The cameo from disgraced minister Ted Haggard is a touch. It’s not a nice touch. But a creepy touch.

“The Waiting Game is about a guy who saves himself for marriage only to have his fiance leave him on their wedding day. He must now decide if it’s worth it to wait again.

This demo trailer was produced to give an idea of what the story might look like.

Our target budget is $2M. Will be directed by Arthur Anderson. Candace Cameron Bure as one of the actors.”

I’m sorry. But this is ridiculous. Does anybody in the world think this is a good idea?

Mad Skillz: Maddie on how to use Facebook well

Maddie is my sister. She’s like, the best Facebooker I know. Here are her tips. You should listen to her because since last Mad Skillz her surname has changed to “Smart”.

Dear Readers,

Last year my Mad Skill(z) was telling you all how to write a good Mad Skillz post. I’m sure this blog’s editor in chief will manage to put a link to it here (if not I take no responsibility). I trust you will all take that advice on board before you submit your own skill this year. I will now share with you another skill I have. That is the skill of using facebook well. How do I qualify you ask? Well, I use Facebook a lot. I would say i check it once every 45 minutes on average, often before sleeping and after waking.

1. If you are a company make sure it makes sense to have Facebook. For example, if your business is selling anti-technology books it does not make sense for you to be on Facebook. If you do not need to contact your customer base often, or if you sell something no one really wants (maybe you are a funeral parlour) I don’t believe you belong on Facebook.

2. Question why you are on facebook. What do you want to achieve? Do you want to build a relationship with your customers (contact them, invite them to comment on your wall)? Do you want your customers to build relationships with each other (image the PA that would get – two cadbury ‘likers’ find love)? Do you just want to let customers know about existing/new products/events? Do you want to boost sales (offer discounts)? Do you want people to fill in surveys for you (offer free product samples like Nivea did). Make sure you do what you are there to do. Don’t just be annoying by not doing step 3…

3. Know when enough is enough. Just because I have ‘liked’ your company page does not mean I want you to fill my news feed with updates. I say limit yourself to one a day at the absolute maximum. I know i know, ‘one a day’ you say, ‘that is not enough because I need to tell everyone how excited I am about my product/company/pet fan page and people must love hearing from me all the time because they’ve gone to the effort to like my page’. WRONG. People may like you, but that has hardly taken any effort on their part, maybe 30 seconds. 30 seconds of their life does not give you a license to pollute their news feed. Now, even if you are only updating once a day you better be offering something good (discounts/sales/competitions) not something boring (pictures of employees, pictures of your products, quotes about your product, annoying questions about if it is ok to drink urine – here’s looking at you B105). You might think you’re interesting and that you’re product is amazing, but what you are doing is overkill. People will stop looking if you keep posting things constantly throughout the day. It’s annoying, and it stops your posts being special. Think – “if I had to pay to put this message here would i do it?” . If your answer to that is ‘no’ think about what you are saying – “i would not pay to share this with my customers”. Why wouldn’t you pay? – because “its not worth it”. So, if it is not worth sharing with customers why are you doing it? Just because comments are free doesn’t mean you need to abuse the channel of communication with trash. Keep them minimal, keep them interesting, make sure you are offering something valuable to your likers.

4. For the everyday, individual, non-corporate user – be interesting. Ban yourself from posting statii that start with “I am …insert mundane everyday verb here…”. Only write “i am verb” updates if the verb is something amazing like “sky diving” or “sword swallowing” or “sitting next to Brad Pitt on the plane”. I don’t care if you are brushing your teeth or watching tv, and i’m guessing no one else does either.

5. If you want comments on your latest status update or photo invite people to do so. Give your reader something to respond to or actually ask their opinion. BUT PLEASE do not vague book. It’s so annoying. Most people are not that interested in your life that they will sit there and try and guess what you are talking about when you write things like “something is about to happen to my life that is going to change another thing in my life”. Just tell them what happened in the first place. Leave all your attention seeking vagueness behind. If you want people to notice a photo tag them in it. It works every time, because let’s face it – people on facebook are all slightly self-obsessed and any mention of their name will grab their attention.

I believe this is a fitting image to finish with:

Face painting: not high brow, but eyebrow

These are pretty clever. But I can’t tell if they’re self portraits (which is how they’re categorised on Flickr) or involve some sort of child labour.

Sucks to model for Jackson Pollock.

Stationery still life

This art work doesn’t look fantastic. It’s good. You’re saying. But it’s not that good.

Except that it’s composed entirely in staples.

More pics here.

Infographic: How to be a good guy, or bad guy

So you want to be a crime fighter, perhaps a real life superhero, but you don’t know where to start. Well. Now you do. Thanks to this infographic. If you’re into something a little more nefarious, check out the guide to being a bad guy.

From Everyguyed. Via Visual News

That’s not a banjo. This is a banjo…

A base banjo, to be precise.

It is huge. Huge enough to hide under during an airstrike.

““It was in a banjo band that went to the First World War to entertain the troops.

“The bloke who was playing it was called Wally Ogden and it actually got buried after the bunker got hit by a shell and they thought the banjo was lost.

“When they dug it all out again they found the tunnel was still there and they managed to get the banjo back, so it’s been through the wars.””

That makes my pun make sense now (I didn’t post the quote first time around…).

A stich in time: the knitting clock

This is quite brilliant. Every year produces a knitted 2 metre scarf. Designed by Siren Elise Wilhelmsen.

It goes through one ball of yarn a year, so it’s both clock and calendar. In a way. But the downside is you’re always wearing last year’s fashion.

Tumblrweed: Awesome people hanging out together

Awesome people hanging out together is a collection of exactly what it sounds like. Though the definition of “awesome” is broad.

Charlie Chaplin and Albert Einstein.

The Beatles and Muhammad Ali

Plenty more there.

Look Around You: Weird Retro Science Videos

These are crazy. Some details about the “Look Around You” TV show here.

The aesthetic is almost perfect.

A little White Noise

Reader, and blogger on things Calvinistic and other stuff, Lee Shelton IV, doesn’t just have a numerically cool last name. He has skills of an artist (if you think that sentence is grammatically incorrect go here).

He has started a whiteboard cartoon blog called “White Noise”. And I’ll be following along.

 
So far he has zombies, politics, venn diagrams, and pacman. How could I resist?

The best thing is the lack of comic sans.

Powerpoint horror stories: some of the world’s worst slides

Urgh. There’s no greater design faux pas than an overloaded powerpoint. Especially an overloaded powerpoint with wordart.

Do your powerpoint slides look like this? I hope not. I tell everybody that the people who read my blog have class and intelligence. Not to mention taste. So lets all laugh at these people together. It’s the only way they’ll learn.

Infocus ran this competition to find the world’s worst slides, and provided these tips for not finding yourself on that list.

Tumblrweed: Literally Unbelievable

The Onion has been around for ages. It’s older than Facebook. Older than YouTube. Almost older than the internet. And yet. Some people still don’t understand that it’s satire.

There’s a great online law – Poe’s Law – that says good satire will be indistinguishable from truth. Literally Unbelievable is a demonstration of the power of Poe’s Law. Capturing Facebookers who don’t know the difference between the Onion and real news.

What are you listening to?

There’s something nice about the way this guy pops the personal bubble people create when they plug their ipods into their heads while walking around in public. And people respond.

It’s also an interesting demographic study, matching music with typical listeners, or atypical listeners.

But what are you listening to?

I’ve been listening to Architecture in Helsinki’s new album Moment Bends a bit lately. It’s so cheery.

The Pancake Project: celebrating the magic of pancakes

Have you ever pondered the almost limitless options available for things to add to pancakes in the cooking process, let alone the toppings to put on them afterwards? It boggles the mind. The Pancake Project exists for such purposes.

How to scare your friend with a peephole in their door

Brilliant.

 

It’s an ad, apparently. Via adsoftheworld.