The McDouble: Peak burger?

I don’t think I’ve ever had a burger as good as the McDouble. Not even a pounder. Except maybe the Cactus Jacks Build your Own Burger in Townsville. But that’s eight times the price.  And I don’t think we’ll ever see a burger that’s quite so good again. Certainly not priced under $2. It’s an unbeatable mix of value and taste. Some burgers taste better but don’t represent value for money. The only burgers cheaper than the McDouble – the cheeseburger (which is, actually, the same price I think) and the Junior Burger (is that what they’re called still?) pale in comparison. No burger in the past, present, or future, looks like being able to match it. This is my fearless prediction. I’m looking forward to the results if people try to prove me wrong.


Image Credit: Gaarawarrgabs
There’s something about the combination of fat, flavour, and texture in these burgers that makes them the item I sit craving between lunch and dinner each afternoon. Luckily I so rarely act on these cravings. Some would say my definition of rarely is broken at this point.

The tomato sauce and onion combo in the “seasoning” department is genius. The McDonald’s food scientists have outdone themselves in understanding umami, or something ephemeral, and yet delicious, in the cheese to meat patty ratio, and the size is perfect for guilt free burger snacking. Even if there’s some cognitive dissonance involved. We’re talking 19.8 gm of fat  and 384 calories (according to the McDonalds product page). I challenge you to find a better calories/$ ratio anywhere in the world – short of eating pure butter.

Delicious.

The Breakdancing breakdown: do the “Coffee Grinder”

So, hands up if you want to be a breakdancer? No, too busy busting a move all over those polished floorboards hey…

Apparently breakdancing is one of the four components of the hip-hop lifestyle – so says one of my friends when I asked what the difference between rap and hip-hop is. The answer “rap is something you do, hip-hop is a lifestyle”… the other two components (in addition to rap and breakdancing) were, from memory, graffiti and DJing… anyway… if the above shirt (one of my favourites) doesn’t do it for you, perhaps you’ll appreciate this list of breakdancing moves on wikipedia. Seriously. Hundreds of them.

Including:

Coffee Grinder/Helicopter: Go down on one bent leg standing on your toes with your hands on either side of your bent knee. Other leg is lying flat out on the floor beside you. Swing the leg that’s on the ground. To avoid being hit by your swing leg; you pick up your hands and put them back on the floor, then use them to pick the rest of your body up lifting it over your swing leg. Drop your body and repeat.”

Teaching life lessons by the power of embarrassment…

This guy didn’t do so well in an exam. So his mum dressed him up with a cardboard sheet that tells of his bad grades and says “honk if I need an education”… and now this is on YouTube. Way to go lady.

Hipster Bingo: For your next trip to your local Hipsterville

I’m not sure where the hipsters hang out in your part of the world. But in Brisbane they all like to play in West End. So, I’m up for heading down there with a handful of these cards. If you look closely the middle square has an asterisked out rude word. So language warning and all that…

 

The Simpsons intro in Real Life

This is a piece of art.

Come Home To The Simpsons from devilfish on Vimeo.

Return to Sender: Why do people keep trying to sell me cars via email?

There’s an NM Campbell out there somewhere who keeps trying to buy cars – and he’s getting annoyed that car dealers keep not emailing him. And then there’s this NM Campbell. Me. Who can’t figure out why car dealers from the US and the UK keep sending me quotes or newsletters. I got another one on Friday. From Medved Ford Lincoln Mercury. The salesperson in question is a Ms Carolyn Hammack-Clark. See her if you want to buy a car in Castlerock, CO.

Here’s the email I got.

So, here’s my response.

Dearest Carolyn,

It is such a long time since I have heard from you (I can only assume there aren’t too many Carolyn Hammack-Clarks running around). I am sorry we’ve lost touch. Do you remember that time we cavorted around the orchard in our pyjamas. Chasing rabbits. Oh, those were the days.

I live in Australia now, actually, I always have. So I’m not sure why I’m receiving emails from this car dealership and can only assume somebody signed up to your database with the wrong email address. You’d be surprised how often that actually happens.

However, it just so happens I am considering putting together an off-road truck race – and I’d be interested to know what sort of discounts you’d offer if I wanted to buy 16 of these trucks. I also want to convert them into amphibious vehicles.

The race I’d like to organise is on the bottom of the ocean – so they’ll need a pretty long snorkel, or perhaps some type of airhose with a flotation device fitted to the pipe to keep it somewhere where there is airflow so that the drivers can breathe. Did I mention that the drivers will be dwarves? They will be. I’m going to call my race the Snow White Cup. I believe in giving hope to the disadvantaged and downtrodden. And as a tall man I thought doing something for the vertically challenged would be a nice gesture.

Could I purchase these 16 amphibious utes customised in this manner – and with some sort of adjustable operations so that short people can both drive the trucks and see over the dashboard. I assume there’ll be some sort of discount if I’m buying a fleet.

Would you be interested in sponsoring the race? I think it will provide pretty good global exposure – because who doesn’t want to watch 16 dwarves driving trucks on the bottom of the ocean. I know I do.

The Medved Ford Lincoln-Mercury Castle Rock Snow White cup has a nice ring to it. Don’t you think.

Regards,

Nathan

Cookie Monster Cupcakes: These are a pile of awesome

These look amazing. And delicious. And if you make them for me I will love you forever (I’m looking squarely at my wife, but anybody else who wants my affection should also take note).

Here’s how to make them. And a video.

Is it time to do away with “church”?

I was sitting in church this morning wondering why there wasn’t anybody new there. Wondering why it is so hard to get people who aren’t just transfers from another church out the door on a Sunday morning and into the Christian community that goes on in often uncomfortable buildings with a bunch of weird counter-cultural trappings.

I’m wondering if we need a rethink. Not so much in the mechanics of what goes on around the globe on a Sunday morning – I think there’s a pretty Biblical picture of what Christians should do when they gather that most churches are trying to emulate. I’m thinking we need to rethinking our branding.

In the broader non visual identity context, your branding can be defined as “the reaction people have in their head when they think about your product” – it’s like a word association game. And I reckon say the word “church” to most Aussies and you’ll get something like “child abuse cover up”, “money hungry”, or in more positive cases “boring” or “conservative”… I’m guessing an invite to “church” on the weekend is likely to result in a negative response from most people’s friends. And lets face it, nobody wants to invite friends to church these days anyway. Any evangelism I do is more likely to take the form of apologetics with friends who are hostile to Jesus already, or conversations when people find out I’m studying at Bible College. This might be my failing, but I’m pretty sure most people aren’t inviting their friends to church every week. And because I think like a marketer one of my first responses is to question our branding strategy. If people are thinking bad things about church, but still, according to the Gruen Transfer, thinking good things about Jesus, then perhaps we need a change in terminology. It seems like a bandaid solution – but at some point a word just becomes too tainted by negative associations to reclaim.

The whole “marketing Jesus because people still love the idea of him” idea has it problems though. See what happens when people try to make Christianity cool in this article from the Weekend Australian.

“Jesus comes with a large production crew these days. If you doubt it, simply Google churches like Planetshakers, in Melbourne, or Paradise Community Church (Adelaide), or the grand-daddy of them all, Hillsong, which now boasts a global reach to cities like London, New York and Cape Town from its base in Sydney’s Hills district. (And if you don’t know what Google is, good luck understanding this phenomenon; like most of their peers, hip young Christians frame much of their day and establish much of their identity via the internet). Lined up beside each other, it is hard to ignore the similarities between the churches’ websites. From their home pages, each promotes a funky, urban feel with sophisticated graphics, high-quality video clips, stadium-style rock and pop music, and an emphasis on connection not just through Sunday services but an array of smaller social groups and through blogs, Facebook and Twitter.

Harder still is any attempt to locate the churches’ denomination on the traditional spectrum, such as that used by the Australian Bureau of Statistics. As it turns out, all of the churches named above belong to the Assemblies of God tradition, a Pentecostal group which renamed themselves the Australian Christian Churches in 2007. But if their websites are any indication, affiliation with an overarching denomination is far less important these days than cultivating your individual church identity – or brand.”

Now, unlike the Australian I don’t think Megachurches with ridiculously good looking pastor couples, are the answer (but if you want to plant one here’s my guide).

“Another striking finding was that a majority of all denominations agreed it was “OK to pick and choose your religious beliefs”. Among those Gen Yers who do identify as Christians, this openness about specific beliefs – what some critics would call moral relativism – might go some way to explaining the new fluidity around church attendance and the related reluctance to affiliate strictly with any particular church.

In the US, this trend has been tagged the “Love Jesus, Hate Church” syndrome; a disenchantment with old-style churches that lock followers into “us-versus-them” mentalities, both internally, in the form of ancient hierarchies dividing the clergy and laity, and externally, in sometimes bloody rifts with other Christian denominations. In Australia, it manifests among Christian Gen Y-ers as an overwhelming focus on one’s personal connection with Jesus Christ, with attendance at a bricks-and-mortar church seen as only one of many means of honouring that connection. Actual denominations are seen increasingly as irrelevant – if they are recognised at all.”

There’s some truth in this last paragraph, and we’d do well to rethink how we do church in the more conservative and reformed circles I move in. But the start of that quote is problematic. What we can’t do is sell out the truth, and our exclusive claims to truth, in order to be more palatable to the masses. I’ve written previously about a problem I have with only focusing on God’s love in our marketing (the John 3:16 as theme verse thing). That was one of the problems I had with the Jesus All About Life campaign, and it’s a possible problem with any “rebrand” of the Christian message – see the recent hoo-ha about Rob Bell’s decision to sell out hell in the name of a palatable gospel (though read Arthur’s post about how it may not be a good idea to jump in and judge this before Bell’s book actually comes out)

So I reckon the language of church needs to change (and the way we do church, but that’s something I need to think about more, the Total Church model is one idea, this Messy Church concept is something I heard about during the week that also piqued my curiosity). Both of these models clearly have problems. Baby and bathwater problems. But there are some core concepts to them that are good. Ultimately we want people to meet Jesus and have their lives radically transformed. It seems to me that calling what we do “church” may increasingly become a barrier to that. So I vote we change it.

But what to call it? At QTC we’re big on the notion of “family of God” as the basis for our ecclesiology. But that sounds a little bit like a cult. I like the word “community” – but that’s because I’m currently thinking that one connecting point between the church and our culture is creating (or recreating) community for people living in an increasingly individualised society. What do you reckon? Am I barking up the wrong tree? What’s the point of staying attached to a word that etymologically comes from the Greek “House of the Lord” anyway? Gathering, or community, is more biblical.

Mark Driscoll on Video Games: Not sinful, but stupid

Mark Driscoll doesn’t like nerds or geeks (neither do Westboro Baptist). He regularly bags out bloggers, now he’s having a dig at people who play video games. Watch from about 1:47 in this video… or just read this post on the Mars Hill blog.

“Video games are not sinful, they’re just stupid. And they’re stupid in this way: Young, particularly men, and now women are joining it, they want to get on a team, be part of a kingdom, conquer a foe, and win a great, epic battle. So they do it with their thumbs and it doesn’t even count. Nobody’s really liberated. The Taliban is not really conquered. Women are not really freed from oppression. Generations are not really changed. It’s all fake. It doesn’t count.”

No. It doesn’t count. Only the particularly deluded think games = real life. But games are entertainment, and like all culture and art, they are an avenue to connect with other people. You know. The type of thing you often encourage your followers to do when they’re engaging with culture.

In the first video, and the text in that first blog entry, Driscoll strawmans anybody who plays games – because we’re all motivated by wanting to fight a battle. That isn’t real. And doesn’t count. It’s just an odd little rant coming from a guy who at this point seems to be letting his prejudices against the nerdy types of people who sit in their mum’s basements and bag him out on their blogs cloud his judgment. It seems a little bit like he’s missing the whole fiction/non-fiction divide again a little (as he did with Twilight and Avatar).

Here’s what he said in an earlier post on the Resurgence blog about his approach to culture:

“What I’ve found over the years is that whenever I speak about something culturally related from a Christian perspective, a debate rages. This has been the case since the earliest days of my ministry. This is because I consider myself a missionary in culture. When we started our church we did so in what was among the least churched cities in the nation, seeking to reach the least churched demographic—young, educated, single, urban men. The truth is, these kinds of young men are generally missing from the American church. One thing these men of all races are doing is listening to rap music.”

Now, I want to know what the difference is, in his mind, between games and music – so far as looking to engage in the subculture in a missional way. I don’t get it. If it’s about escapism – then why is he ok with watching movies and television. And he is ok with watching movies and television. I assume he’s also ok with reading novels.

Games are interactive stories. They are movies that the gamer takes part in, novels that the gamer helps write, entertainment that is active rather than passive, and increasingly they are art (though Roger Ebert doesn’t think so) and social commentary. Like music. Like movies. They’re culture. They’re not stupid, or sinful. But, like anything, the way people use them can be. And like anything, there are always a bunch of Christians looking to Christianise (or, to use one of Driscoll’s Rs, Redeem) this stream of culture. Though this one is satire:

Here’s a post linking to a good essay on the subject of games as art that I put up a while ago, here’s the one that Call of Duty image was originally featured in, here’s a couple of posts about Christian games: post 1, post 2

Now, excuse me while I go to shoot some Mexican bandits on Red Dead Redemption.

My Life in Albums: The Early Years

I was born BCB. That is Before Colin Buchanan. So I was raised on a diet of ABC for kids music. This meant Don Spencer, Peter Combe, and those CDs that came out numbered. They had the timetables songs and stuff like the song about the boys who put the powder on the noses of the ladies of the harem of the court of King Caractacus.

Here are some YouTube trips down memory lane…

Apparently Peter Combe now plays pub gigs for people who grew up listening to his music.

Then there was Don Spencer, now Russell Crowe’s father-in-law.

Oh, and who could forget Joe Dolce’s On Top of Spaghetti

And Ross Higgin’s Monster Mash.

I did eventually grow up. And, perhaps more important were my trips to mum and dad’s CD shelf. I grew up with Paul Simon. I’d play Graceland whenever I could, and I have pretty early memories of the lyrics to Simon and Garfunkel’s The Boxer running around in my head. And Dire Straits Brothers in Arms album was another favourite.

But, perhaps the longest lasting musical memory, is the Motorcycle Song, by Arlo Guthrie (from his Best Of).

My Life in Albums: Introduction

I was cleaning up my iTunes yesterday, getting rid of duplicates and rubbish that I downloaded back in the heady days of Napster. Monty Python sketches are better on YouTube anyway. Especially performed by 419 scammers who have been scambaited.

Like this one.

Anyway. I digress. I was feeling a little nostalgic as I deleted dross and re-listened to some tunes I hadn’t listened to for a long time. So I undertook a little exercise. I tried to match an album to every year of my life. It wasn’t necessarily limited to an album released that year. It was more about finding an album that defines my memory of a year. It wasn’t even necessarily an album I owned. In one many cases in the early years I picked albums belonging to my parents (some I have since either pinched from them or purchased) It was fun. Sometimes I couldn’t split a couple of options. Here’s my list. I’m going to turn these into a bit of a series of posts. Because I can. Feel free to join in – comment with your musical memories.

The early years

  • ABC for Kids, numbered albums
  • Peter Combe, Toffee Apple (I think, I might be guessing here)
  • Don Spencer, Feathers, Fur or Fins
  • Dire Straits, Brothers in Arms
  • Paul Simon, Graceland
  • The Proclaimers, Sunshine on Leith
  • Arlo Guthrie, The Best Of
  • Tommy Emmanuel, The Journey Continues
  • Jennie Flack’s Mugwumps and Snookles (though the more I look at her discography the more I think we had some sort of bootleg hybrid of her tapes, and Bullfrogs and Butterflies

Year by year

  • 1997 – Backstreet’s Back – The Backstreet Boys, Hanson – Middle of Nowhere
  • 1998 – The Living End – Self Titled
  • 1999 – Powderfinger – Internationalist, The Whitlams – Eternal Nightcap
  • 2000 – The Smashing Pumpkins – Siamese Dream, Custard – The Best of
  • 2001 – Dandy Warhols – Thirteen Tales from Urban Bohemia
  • 2002 – Muse – Showbiz, Weezer – The Blue Album, Radiohead – OK Computer
  • 2003 – Muse – Absolution, Placebo – Sleeping with Ghosts
  • 2004 – Radiohead – Hail to the Thief, Eskimo Joe – a song is a city
  • 2005 – The Killers – Hot Fuss, Death Cab for Cutie – Plans
  • 2006 – Gomez – How we operate
  • 2007 – Gotye – Like Drawing Blood, The Panics – Cruel Guards, Spoon – Ga Ga Ga Ga
  • 2008 – Athlete – Beyond the Neighbourhood, Architecture in Helsinki – Places Like This
  • 2009 – Mumford and Sons – Sigh No More
  • 2010 – Whitley – Go Forth, Find Mammon

 

 

What would happen if Billy Joel approached music production like Radiohead

It might sound a little bit like this…

All the tracks from disk one of the Essential Billy Joel, played at once. I managed about a minute.

The changing face of Internet News

Sad, but true.

There’s a rude word that I redacted – you can see the original here if that floats your boat.

I’d add that if you’re a really popular news site, particularly in Australia, your front page is likely to feature salacious yarns about celebrities and their private lives, and a smattering of cleavage (or news reports from “fashion shows”). The SMH homepage currently features the word sex 11 times. News.com.au seven times. theage.com.au eight times. Brisbanetimes.com.au nine times. Crazy.

Chicken Egg? Or egg chicken? That is the question

I like this egg chicken by a guy named Kyle Bean – he called it “What Came First“… for obvious reasons.

For some reason I like the making of picture almost as much as the chicken itself.

I like these vegebodies too. Check them out.

Charlie Sheen’s Tweets New Yorker Style

First it was Kanye’s outrageous and outlandish claims, brought to the world via Twitter, that received the New Yorker treatment. Not it’s Charlie’s turn.

Via Buzzfeed (some rudity at the link).