Optimus Prime in balloon sculpture greatness. Need I say more…
I hooked one
Long time readers will be familiar with my scambaiting efforts from last year. I’ve been trying to get a photo of a Nigerian Scammer holding a bible verse. I got one. Finally. Not the John 3:16 reference I was after, but I’m working on that. Meet my friend Kenny. That’s what I call him.
Stay tuned for the story – I don’t want to blow it yet, I’m still hoping for that elusive John 3:16 poster. I’m pretty sure other scammers have googled themselves and ended my game because of what they found.
Here’s his favourite Bible passage:
1Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. 2And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. 3And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. 4 He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”
5And he who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” Also he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”
Transform(er) your church
I would really like to slip these windows into a church. Just to see how long it would take an eagle eyed child to notice. Given the amount of time I spend looking at the windows, while preachers studiously try to make eye contact with me, I reckon it’d take less than five minutes.

This is Spinal Tape
Really. It is.

Shirt of the Day: c0ffee
Hexadecimal colours have just opened up a whole new world to me – colour code humour. This shirt features the word c0ffee printed in the colour (#c0ffee). Clever.

No more passive aggressive notes
Tired of sending passive aggressive post-it note messages to your colleagues? Get actually aggressive with this post-it note machine gun (which is currently only a concept – nay – a figment of the cubicle dweller’s imagination).

Food Nirvana
Caffeine. Check.
Bacon. Check.
Maple Syrup. Check.
Lollipop. Check.
All in one delicious morsel. Check, check, check, check this out…

Caffeinated bacon and maple flavoured lollipops. For sale. For real.
I’m a Millennial
Did you know? And if you’re born after Gen X then you are too.
Some demographer has decided to make things very confusing for Christians. By using the label “Millennial” to describe people in Gen Y. I guess that makes all you Gen Xers pre-Millennials, and people who choose to bag out age based demographics must be pan-Millennials.
This article was the source of my confusion: Pastor Mark Driscoll: Millennials are Honest on Faith
I thought it was somewhat misleading.
Some reflections on violence in the Old Testament
I’m writing an essay at the moment on the following: Violence, Joshua, and the Christian. Quite apart from the fact that literary criticism of the Old Testament means we have no real sense of who wrote Joshua or when it was written, the question of what role the violence plays in the narrative is vexing. Did the Israelites actually carry out God mandated genocide of those in Canaan? And if they did, is that really a problem?
I’m going with no, and no.
Is God ordering genocide a problem?
Tackling the second question first – I have no problem with God carrying out judgment on his creation. The earth is his, and everything in it. If we all deserve death, and God is infinite, then who are we to quibble about the timing and manner of the inevitable and deserved end we face. Because death is the punishment for sin we’re all essentially facing genocide at that point.
The Canaanites were by all accounts particularly wicked people whose practices were frowned on by those in the nations around them (let alone God) their practices included incest, bestiality, child sacrifice and a fairly murderous militant culture. Presence in the promised land – for the Israelites – depended on them acting rightly, but their entrance into the land was due to the occupants acting wickedly.
Other people have a major problem with this notion – one scholar goes so far as to suggest that commands to kill the Canaanites came from Satan and the Israelites were too theologically illiterate to be able to tell the difference. Richard Dawkins calls the God of the Old Testament the nastiest character in fiction. Another school of thought thinks the violent rhetoric was just a tool to help Israel establish some (rather late – in the time of King Josiah) national identity. Which brings us to the second question.
Did the Israelites carry out genocide on the Canaanites?
No. They didn’t. They certainly killed some Canaanites as they moved into the promised land – but these would appear to be those Canaanites who stayed to pit their might against the people of God. Rahab’s little dialogue with the Jewish spies suggests the Canaanites knew full well what was coming. They had plenty of time to leave (forty years of wilderness wandering for the Jews). And God’s promises of possession for Israel were almost always coupled with a promise to “drive the people out” with only those who remained destined for destruction. This was not genocide – it was the destruction of a national identity. An identity that was synonymous with evil and loathed by the surrounding nations. We also see plenty of Canaanites appearing throughout the Old Testament after they’re meant to be wiped out. Clearly no genocide actually occured.
So what do we make of the commands for genocide then?
What I’m sure of is that we can dismiss the idea that these commands were somehow Satanic misdirection. Ordering the punishment of death for sin is completely consistent with God’s character in the New Testament. If we’re going to go with the notion of one God in both books – not a bipolar happy God/angry God then we need to read these passages in the light of Romans 3:23 and Romans 6:23 – we all sin, and thus we all deserve death. The Canaanites were no exception.
There is some merit in seeing the book of Joshua as some sort of identity building missive for the nation of Israel – an answer to the question of why they are God’s people living in a land God promised. At that point the theory that the language of violent conquest was a common sociological phenom is useful, but I don’t think it’s the primary purpose, because that essentially removes the need for some form of historical conquest, and doesn’t actually explain Israel’s presence in the land.
Questions about the historicity of a complete and total conquest – and people do ask those questions – are a bit silly, because Joshua demonstrates, in the narrative, that the conquest was neither complete or total. But it also shows Israel occupying the promised land – alongside those they were meant to wipe out.
The question I keep asking when I come back to passages like this is what theological purpose does it serve? I think this is my rubric for assessing every passage in the Bible, it comes before the question of “what historical fact does this teach”… and so, when I read Gary Millar’s commentary on Deuteronomy (Now Choose Life) I resonate more with his treatment of the issue than with the sociological view (Sociological readers of the Bible seem to have an incredibly low view of God’s sovereignty or ability to intervene – interpreting theological writings by looking for natural causes seems dumb to me. They almost always dismisses any miraculous intervention from God in establishing any identity – Israel’s identity, in their view, stems from their own self identity rather than from identity through God’s election). Millar even goes so far as to suggest some rabbinic hyperbole. Which is one of my favourite expresssions… here is his commentary on the instructions in Deuteronomy to wipe out the Canaanites (so that the Israelites may stay true to God. If they fail the author clearly says the Canaanites will lead the Israelites astray).
“This is theological preaching, urging Israel on to wholehearted obedience. In this context we should expect some hyperbole, at least.”
He argues that the Hebrew word הרמ (I can’t figure out how to do a final מ on my keyboard) – or herem – is a pointer to the theological nature of this destruction. Israel is to wipe out the idolatrous practices of the Canaanites, and their identity, rather than the people themselves.
Millar says:
“The intensification of the command to disposses the nations to destruction is not primarily about warfare at all. It is a theological conviction, arising from recognition that the Canaanites will be a snare in the land; their influence must be purged from the land if Israel is to survive.”
Deuteronomy 7 itself points to this sort of interpretation. Verse 1 says God will drive the nations out ahead of Israel, verse 2 that he will deliver them and the Israelites “completely destroy them” (that’s that Hebrew word), and verses 3-5 are instructions for what to do with the survivors (ie don’t marry them or worship their Gods). Why are there instructions for dealing with the survivors if they are to be completely wiped out?
Millar again:
“Throughout this chapter, it is clear that the Mosaic Preaching is concerned to bring the Israelites to the conviction that shattering the structures of Canaanite society is a theological necessity. This is expressed not in terms of driving out or dispossessing the Canaanites, but of destroying them.”
Regarding further instructions about the Canaanites in Deuteronomy 20 Millar acknowledges that the “leave no survivors” command is “startlingly literal” – but again suggests that the instructions are not simply about military victory but the annihilation of a way of life.
In the case of the Canaanites it seems the adage of “hate the sin, love the sinner” can’t really be carried out – because the two can’t be separated.
Super Mario Origins
Ever wondered how Mario got his name? No? Well now you know, a real estate baron in Seattle is an undercover 8-bit plumber.
Mario A. Segale, real estate developer, was indeed the namesake of Nintendo’s Mario character, and he was indeed the landlord of Nintendo’s Tukwila, Washington warehouse in 1981 when employees of the then very small Nintendo of America named the protagonist in Donkey Kong after him. Many details beyond that still remain in the realm of speculation and will remain so unless the parties involved talk to the press in more detail (and reporters do their part by reporting it accurately).
This is what he looked like in high school.

You know this thanks to this rather detailed Technologizer article.
Blog envy
Simone’s blog turned two yesterday. I didn’t realise it was that young. They grow up so fast. Then, Ben, my favourite blogger (he drew my logo – amongst other awesome things) called her blog his favourite. Now I have blogger envy. I’m seriously considering campaigning to become his favourite blog. Maybe I should start a book group. Maybe a book group aiming to go through Penguin’s Good Book series – which, incidentally, are heaps cheaper on the Book Depository – I ordered about 20 of them the other day for under $70)…
What must I do Ben?
How to give Melbourne something to play for
So the Storm are thinking about appealing the decision to not allow them to earn points this season. Fair enough. I have an idea that will add drama to the Storm’s season and give them something to play for. Put them on negative 30 points. Let them play for the standard two points per game. But make it double or nothing. If they don’t reach 0 points by the end of the year, kick them out.
Guide to writing good fiction
I’ve never written more than a chapter of fiction (I have about 20 first chapters though if anybody wants to buy some). I always get stuck on giving good names to characters. Plot devices aren’t all that hard, there are only six plots afterall, and a limited number of twists. And character development (except for the elusive name) doesn’t phase me. The final piece of the writing puzzle is reaching an audience. You do this by being popular. Here’s a quick guide to popularity from XKCD.
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Tolkien, Shakespeare and Lewis Carroll get an exemption in the alt text.




IntenseDebate
So I’ve been using IntenseDebate for my comments for a while now. And while it allows cool features like giving you the ability to post YouTube Videos and pictures, to log in using various online accounts (like Facebook or Twitter) or as a guest, a pretty good spam filter, and the ability to vote comments up or down – it can be a little bit slow and annoying.Plus, nobody uses those features anyway.
I’m thinking about canning it. What do you reckon? If you’re hanging around wishing you could comment but put off by complexity just “like” this post and I’ll assume that’s your indication that I should kill the system.
While you’re telling me what you think of that system feel free to raise any other things that annoy you about the design or technology behind this blog… I’m always interested in fixing those issues because it gives me a chance to play with code and design stuff.
Over to you.
April 28, 2010