Freudian Slip

Dick Lucas is a famous evangelical preacher. One can only assume he is too pure to understand exactly what he says here.If that clip doesn’t work you can find it here.

I think this next guy wanted to talk about Lot pitching tents…

Christopher Hitchens is not great

I’m writing an essay on violence in the Old Testament tonight. I’m interacting a little with the way violence has been interpreted by the “new atheists” – this review of Hitchen’s God is Not Great is fantastic fodder for anybody confronted with one of his raving disciples… it addresses his erroneous treatment of the Bible from Genesis to Jesus – and I reckon it’s just as good as Eagleton’s famous review of Dawkins.

Eagleton is famously a Marxist Catholic (and possibly agnostic), while William Hamblin, who wrote this review, is a Mormon professor of Ancient History. But you know, the enemy of me enemy and all that…

Here are some good bits… it’s quite a long article.

On the Bible

Remarkably, Hitchens is overtly disdainful of the careful reading of ancient texts in their original languages. He bemoans the supposed fact that “all religions have staunchly resisted any attempt to translate their sacred texts into languages ‘understood of the people’ ” (p. 125, emphasis added). This is a stunningly erroneous claim, betraying almost no understanding of the history of religion. In reality, the translation of religious texts has been a major cultural phenomenon in ancient and medieval times and has steadily increased through the present. The Bible, of course, is the most translated book in the history of the world. According to the United Bible Societies, it has been translated into 2,167 languages, with another 320 in process. And this is by no means merely a modern phenomenon. The Bible was also the most widely translated book in the ancient world. It was translated into Greek (the Septuagint, second century BC), Aramaic (Targum, by the first century BC), Old Latin (second century AD), Syriac (Peshitta, third century AD), Coptic (Egyptian, fourth century AD), Gothic (Old German, fourth century AD), Latin (Jerome’s Latin Vulgate, late fourth century AD), Armenian (early fifth century AD), Ethiopic (fifth century AD), Georgian (fifth century AD), Old Nubian (by the eighth century AD), Old Slavonic (ninth century AD), and Arabic (Saadia Gaon’s version, early tenth century AD). Thus, far from “staunchly resist[ing] any attempt to translate their sacred texts” (p. 125), Christians have consistently made tremendous efforts to translate their sacred books.

On the law

It is not just the early Iron Age science of the Bible that Hitchens finds offensive. The morality of the Bible, which many feel is foundational to Western civilization, is to Hitchens pure barbarism. But when we read Hitchens’s claim concerning “the pitiless teachings of the god of Moses, who never mentions human solidarity and compassion at all” (p. 100), we are left to wonder if Hitchens has read the Bible he despises with any degree of earnestness whatsoever. The Hebrew Bible speaks frequently of God’s compassion and his enduring “loving-kindness” or “steadfast love.” When Christ taught, “Love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:39), he was, in fact, quoting the Hebrew Bible (Leviticus 19:18; see Zechariah 7:8). Furthermore, the law insists that Israelites must have compassion for foreigners as well for their own kinsmen (Exodus 22:21; Leviticus 19:34; Deuteronomy 10:19). The prophet Hosea likewise taught that God preferred “steadfast love” over “sacrifice” (Hosea 6:6). The teaching of Hosea 6:6 is commonplace throughout the Hebrew Bible, representing a standard component of Jewish temple theology.

On oxen

For Hitchens the principles found in the law of Moses tend to be either transparently obvious (pp. 99–100) or barbarically “demented pronouncements” (p. 106). He objects to all sorts of things in the law, such as the “insanely detailed regulations governing oxes [sic]” (p. 100), which go on for an astonishing five verses (Exodus 21:28–32)! Actually, by ancient standards—for instance, when compared to the fourteen oxen regulations in Hammurabi’s Code—this is notably succinct. Considering that oxen were a major form of transportation in early agrarian Near Eastern societies, it is reasonable to expect some regulations about them; but, even if superfluous, there is nothing “insanely detailed” about it, especially when compared to our modern laws concerning vehicular manslaughter—probably the closest modern analogy. Hitchens really has no substantive point here beyond mere rhetorical bombast.

On weekends

Hitchens’s view of the Sabbath commandment as “a sharp reminder to keep working and only to relax when the absolutist says so” (p. 99) again fails to contextualize the text. In its ancient setting it should be seen as a progressive and humanitarian regulation ensuring that rulers and masters gave their slaves and laborers a day of rest (Exodus 20:10)—a practice that is apparently original to the Israelites—rather than forcing them to work unremittingly. Though it goes unacknowledged, Hitchens owes his weekends and also the concept of a “right” to leisure to the God of Israel—no thanks required. Only by rhetorical sleight of hand can Hitchens try to turn this blessing into an act of supposed tyranny.

On Jesus

Hitchens’s overall disdain for the life of Jesus is reflected in the fact that he can’t be bothered to even get basic biblical chronology straight. “Even the stoutest defenders of the Bible story,” he assures us, “now admit that if Jesus was ever born it wasn’t until at least AD 4” (pp. 59–60). They do? He has obviously been reading different “stout defenders” of the Bible story than I have. The Gospel narratives agree that Jesus was born during the lifetime of Herod the Great (Matthew 2:1; Luke 1:5), who died in 4 BC.

Here’s the conclusion:

He consistently misrepresents what the Bible has to say, fails to contextualize biblical narratives in their original historical settings, implies unanimity among biblical scholars on quite controversial positions, and fails to provide any evidence for alternative scholarly positions, or even to acknowledge that such positions exist at all. In reality, biblical studies is a complicated field, with a wide range of subtle nuances and different interpretations; for Hitchens, it is sufficient to dismiss the most extreme, literalistic, and inerrantist interpretations of the Bible to demonstrate not only that the Bible itself is thoroughly flawed, false, and poisonous but that God does not exist.

Tips for better church signs

I’m not really a fan of signs outside churches. Mostly because nobody is, and they’re never quite as clever as the person writing them thinks they are. But seriously. If you’re going to have one you need to make it original.

“God answers knee-mail” wasn’t funny fifteen years ago when email was relatively new. A pun on Email? Do you seriously think that posting this outside your church in 2010 is going to inspire a chuckle? Has anybody ever “found themselves in church” as a result of a dud sign? The Holy Spirit works wonders – but do we really want to put obstacles in his way by writing puns that aren’t clever or clear?

You get style points for trying something relevant to current events or technologies. You actually lose points, as in your sign has a negative effect, if it’s hackneyed, unoriginal, or stuck in the previous decade.

And don’t try to be too clever. Obtuse puns don’t work on a public sign. Especially if they can be interpreted two ways. And especially if a plain reading of the sign says something wrong or heretical.

“God is nowhere… read that again” still reads “God is nowhere.” People are driving past these signs at speed – and you’re putting “God is nowhere” on a sign. Dumb.

Those two signs were on the same church – one I drive past regularly – in the last two weeks.

But even worse are those churches that pull verses out of context to provide trite moralisms or ridiculous promises – like Jesus wants you to live your best life now… you can’t explain how that can possibly be the case (Biblically) on a sign.

I have never seen a sign promising suffering. They just inflict it on Christians who have any idea about marketing.

YouTube Tuesday: Reformation Rap

You think you done something spectacular?
I wrote the Bible in the vernacular!
A heretic! [What?] Someone throw me a bone.
You forgot salvation comes through faith alone.
I’m on a mission from God. You think I do this for fun?
I got ninety-five theses but the Pope ain’t one.

Serving the waiters

Christians make terrible tippers at restaurants. Especially when they leave fake money evangelism tracts.

It’s when I read stories like this that I am glad tipping at restaurants is not part of Australian culture. And I don’t have a ‘Jesus Fish’ for the same reason. Being a public delinquent in your car is bad enough – without telling everybody that the guy who just cut them off or glared/honked at them is a Christian.

In Justin Taylor’s post he shares some “tips” for how restaurant visitors can provide a positive Christian interaction… how do you reckon these would go down in Australia…

1. Be friendly. Tell them you will be praying before your meal, Ask if you can pray for them. If body language, tone of voice and time permits, ask if there is anything specific.

2. Pray for them.

3. Leave a good tip.

Cow power

A cattle farmer watching his cows grazing decided that all that mooching about is just wasted. Cows, like children, should be put to work. So he puts his cows in an energy generating treadmill set up…

“It’s not as crazy as it sounds. Cows already spend up to 8 hours a day milling around while grazing. Taylor just sticks the cows on a treadmill for part of the time. The farmer’s prototype treadmill can generate two kilowatts, or enough energy to power four milking machines. Cows that exercise are also thought to produce more milk.”

From here.

Fish Punching

Having just watched Bear Grylls behead a skunk (after smothering it in his jacket), bash a snake to death with a plank of wood, confront killer bees to steal their honey and finally drink his own urine while incredibly close to the end of the episode (surely he could’ve made it), I’ve been looking for a new television high. Can it get any better?

The answer is yes. It can.

Fish Punchers

Atom.com: Funny Videos | Spoofs | TV & Movie Spoofs

I’m not sure I’ve said this before – but the explorer/travel writer character in Black Books in the episode with the cat – has to be based on Bear right? Did you know he was the youngest person to climb Everest? I didn’t.

Recipe for disaster

Proofreading is a tough ask. But it pays to pay attention – just ask Penguin Books

An Australian publisher has had to pulp and reprint a cook-book after one recipe listed “salt and freshly ground black people” instead of black pepper.

I think I speak for all of us when I say “fail”…

Chalk footprints

Not the saccharine Christian poem… this is much cooler. This girl decided to trace her footprint on the path outside her apartment. And people walked in them all day (except the grumpy guy who told her to stop… probably). Read about it here.


It reminds me of this…

The cult of science

A nice little piece from Surviving the World to balance up the nice things I just said about science…

I think it’s funny. And it’s what I suspect most fence sitters – both on the theistic and atheistic sides – think.

Things not to say to atheists

So, although I’m (possibly temporarily) retired from arguing with atheists, I’ve been nominated to present a little seminar at college on things not to say to atheists.

I reckon I’m pretty good at saying things they don’t like – some right, some wrong…

Here are some things I think you shouldn’t say:

  1. Don’t say anything about how Hitler was both an atheist and evil – as though atheism necessitates evil. I’ve broken Godwin’s law plenty of times – but mainly to suggest that atheists arguing from Christian extremities is about as consistent as Christians arguing using Hitler. This context is often lost. Hitler is like a red rag to a bull in these discussions.
  2. Don’t say anything about how atheists can’t possibly be moral or good as a result of rejecting God. This is silly, it’s not even Biblical. If we’re right and God exists, and he’s the God of the Bible, then atheists are capable of “moral” actions even if they reject him. They don’t put off imago dei just because they don’t believe in the second part of the Latin equation.
  3. Pretty much don’t say anything negative about science. Science is a good thing. Acknowledge that. Move on. Stick to the philosophical and reject “naturalism” that’s much sager ground because there’s no proof that it actually is how things work, just that it’s an observably feasible method of understanding things.
  4. Don’t suggest that atheists should be governed by laws set by Christians just because they’re in the minority. This again is pretty dumb. It’s like we expect people to live like they have the Holy Spirit when they don’t. This is mostly relevant when talking about politics, but also has some bearing on talking about personal choices. It’s fine to say that something is wrong if you’re a Christian, and fine to say that someone is doing the wrong thing according to God, but unless there’s a third party innocent victim to protect (like there is in abortion) I’d be keeping that powder dry.
  5. Don’t quote Psalm 14:1 out of context (“the fool says in their heart there’s no God”) unless you want to be lumped in with every other proof texting Bible bashing redneck who wants to beat up homosexuals while eating lobster. We need to make sure that we use the Bible well. In fact, don’t quote the Bible out of context at all. Ever.

But I’d love to hear from you, dear readers (especially any atheists hanging around) about what us Christians shouldn’t say to atheists (within reason – we’re allowed to say “you’re wrong, and it’s not very nice to call our beliefs a crazy delusion”).

Any pointers from your experience – otherwise I’m just going to be rehashing things from this post and this one (and the comments therein) – and possibly these ones from Pharyngula and the Friendly Atheist.

Pizza capers

One of the coolest things about moving to Brisbane was discovering Pizza Capers. They’re pretty expensive. But they do cool flavour combos. But if I was on about their pizzas in this post I’d have capitalised the C in the title.

We’ve been working on our homemade pizza skills recently, and I’m pretty happy with my bastardisation of a Pizza Capers creation.

Here’s the recipe:

  • Pizza dough (we make it in our breadmaker).
  • Jack Daniel’s Smokey BBQ sauce.
  • Chicken (marinated in said sauce – which also functions as the base), cooked first, of course.
  • Bacon, also marinated. Also in said BBQ sauce.
  • Mozzarella Cheese – in the lumpy form, not the grated form.
  • Potato sliced thinly, boiled first.
  • Sour cream – a drizzle on top.
  • Onion – somewhere in the piece.

Mmm. Delicious. But tangential to my actual purpose of posting. Firstly, I wanted to know what good topping options are out there. And secondly, it seemed an appropriate way to share this video. My next step in pizza making…

Iron sharpening chalk

Put two or more Christian men in a room together after one of them has just used their gifts to serve the kingdom and its almost inevitable that there’ll be a session of “iron sharpening iron”… it’s biblical.

I think the notion is healthy. But I think at times we can jump straight into thinking of one another as a robust elemental substance. We can forget that it’s person sharpening person – and sometimes assume that our critique is what they want to hear almost immediately. I suspect sometimes we’re geared up to be “iron” and the other person is a little more brittle. Even in designated “critique sessions” we jump straight in as though our criticism is ordained and automatically appropriate. It’s not always the case.

I’ve been sitting on this post for a while – just in case anybody who has critiqued me thought I was talking about them. It’s born more out of my own desire to provide “constructive” feedback after every talk I hear.

How would Jesus cook

He’d cook fish over an open fire. And possibly bake bread. I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t be anything like this atheistic parody.

I probably shouldn’t be laughing at this.

Blog ja vu

I thought I had posted these before, but then I looked, and I couldn’t find them on my blog. So I’m going to assume I looked at them, thought “wow, I totally should blog those” and then didn’t. Until now. They are nice, from this designer, via bookofjoe.

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