I wore my maths shirt to college this week because it has a Greek letter on it. I might have to splash out on this one so that I can fill all my days with π humour.
Shirt of the Day: πzza in a shirt
How to eat cheap steak, cheap skate.
If you’re not already familiar with this secret it’ll blow your mind/tastebuds.
I think I learned it from a segment on the today show – but this cooking site has diagrams so it’s much more scientific and believable. The key to making an expensive steak taste good is salt. The other secret is to buy the fattest cheap steak you can find.
Steak Recipe: Massively salt your steaks 15 min – 1 hour before grilling.
Notice that I didn’t say, “sprinkle liberally” or even “season generously.” I’m talking about literally coating your meat until you can’t see red. It should resemble a salt lick.
Let that meat be totally overwhelmed with the salt for 1 hour or less. Rinse, pat dry dry dry and then you’re ready to grill.
All of you who season JUST before grilling – this is what you are really doing to the meat. Did you know that? All the water comes to the surface and if you don’t pat super-dry, you’re basically STEAMING the meat. Plus, your salt just sits on the surface of the steak, leaving the interior tasteless.
You can thank me – and the orignal writer – later when you taste just how good salty steak can be. Salt really is the world’s most magical substance.
Mad Skillz: Dave on how to argue with me…
I meant to post this yesterday – I think I may have mentioned that Dave Walker was contributing two Mad Skillz. Here’s his second. It’s timely – perhaps – given some of the discussions this week. And I didn’t even bag out U2.
If you have a Mad Skill and would like to contribute I would be happy to keep posting these as long as material keeps coming in – feel free to go for a second bite of the cherry.
Anyway, here’s what Dave has to say. I don’t necessarily agree with all of it – but I’ll let the disagreements slide.
Nathan is one of the best people I know to have an argument with. You cannot argue with Nathan without being forced to think about what you’re saying and to consider fresh, creative, and insightful ideas. But arguing with Nathan can be a bit of an art form! Having been a sparring partner with Nathan in the North for the last four years, here’s my 5 tips for friends ‘down south’ on how to have a good argument with Nathan:
- Don’t. At least sometimes. Arguments with Nathan sometimes end with (metaphorical) blood on the floor on both sides, so a level headed assessment of whether it’s sensible to enter the fray is well worthwhile. Nathan will argue for arguing’s sake, so a release valve is important.
- Remember that the thinner the basis for Nathan’s position, the more strenuously he will defend it. You might think it’s stupid, but he really likes to do that. It helps him work out whether there’s anything in his position that he wants to hang on to, and whether your criticisms of the idea have any merit to them. Nathan’s whole philosophy is to test ideas to their absolute limits — so rather than be exasperated by that, just enjoy watching him defend the (sometimes) ridiculous. But don’t think that just calling an idea ‘ridiculous’ will somehow cool Nathan’s enthusiasm for it — it will do quite the opposite!
- The better the point you make, the less likely Nathan is to acknowledge it out loud. This is related to #2 — he’s not looking to agree with you, he’s looking to test ideas. So when you make a good point, he’ll ignore it and argue his point on different (and sometimes only loosely related) grounds. This can be very frustrating, but don’t bite on the deflection unless you think it’s relevant and call him on it if he needs it.
- Tell him to pull his head in every now and then. Nathan needs good friends who can see through his obstreperousness and self-confessed moments of arrogance, and remind him that there are often real people attached to the ideas he’s arguing against.
- You can never end an argument with Nathan. He is not interested in finding a position of agreement (see point 3) and he is psychologically incapable of letting you have the last word. So when it’s time to finish, make your point, let him have the last word, and either shrug your shoulders at him or say ‘thank you for highlighting that we don’t agree’!
Now I know my ג ב א
I am not a fan of Hebrew yet (though I do like walking around before and after classes saying “hey brew” to anybody who walks past.
Perhaps I should purchase this Hebrew learning game to make learning language fun and engaging.
Cool stories from the news
I have starred a bunch of news stories in the last few weeks that were cool but probably not quite worthy of individual posts (in my opinion) in order to clear my queue a bit I’ll post them all at once.
Have you seen any bank robbery movies where the robbers tunnel their way into the vault from a vacant neighbouring building? These thieves had. If I was a bank I would be buying up neighbouring businesses and being very careful about who I rented them out to.
Thieves in Brazil have stolen more than $6m (£3.7m) from a cash delivery firm, taking advantage of the nation’s passion for football, police say.
Police believe the thieves – who had dug a tunnel into the firm’s building – struck when season-ending matches were played in Sao Paulo on Sunday.
A security guard later told local media he had heard a loud noise but thought it was fireworks lit by fans.
Farmer plants land mines to thwart potato thieves
Only in Russia is it better to maim small children than have your potatos stolen. How else will you make the vodka that keeps you warm in those long winter months.
A Russian farmer has been convicted of planting landmines around his field to ward off trespassers.
Alexander Skopintsev, from the eastern region of Primorye near China’s border, laid the three devices on his land after building them in his garage.
The 73-year-old had apparently been concerned about the frequent theft of potatoes from his farm.
Ex Power Ranger challenges JCVD to MMA fight
That headline was just fun to write. Did you ever watch the “celebrity deathmatch” claymotion series? It was pretty dumb. It pitted sometimes obscure celebs against each other in wrestling matches that resulted in the untimely deaths of one or both of the clay figurines. This little incident is a bad case of life imitating art. It’s B grade meets D grade in a battle for martial art mediocrity.
The guy issuing the challenge is former White Ranger Jason David Frank, who tells TMZ, he’s had it out for Van Damme ever since 1995 when the Muscles from Brussels — who had been Frank’s childhood hero — allegedly blew him off during the premiere of “Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie.”
As TMZ previously reported, Frank is now a scary-looking MMA fighter who has a fight next weekend in the Octagon — and Van Damme is reportedly looking to make his own pro fighting debut … so the timing couldn’t be better for Frank to settle the score.
Tattoo artist father wants to create a tattoo using his son’s ashes as ink
Creepy? Macarbe? Heartwarming? I can’t decide. A UK tattoo artist plans to turn his son’s ashes into tattoo ink so that he can recreate a photo of his son as a tattoo both for himself, and his wife.
A father from Herefordshire is to have a portrait of his dead son tattooed on his chest using the child’s ashes.
Mark Richmond, 39, and his wife Lisa, 31, said they wanted to do something as a lasting tribute to their son Ayden.
…
The couple, who own a tattoo parlour in Greater Manchester, plan to mix some of Ayden’s ashes in the ink for a 7in black and white portrait of him.
Don’t cry over spoilt milk
This revolutionary milk carton would prevent incidents like the one Ben reported last week. Off milk is the bane of any milk drinker’s existence – and the smell of sour milk is enough to produce a gag reflex. It’d be nice to not have to sniff the bottle wouldn’t it? Some sort of visual aid short of chunks floating on the surface would be nice. Perhaps even a carton that changes colour as the milk inside turns from the nectar of the cows into something more sinister.
This carton designed by Ko Yang should do just that.
How “creatives” overcome creative block
Nothing sucks more than writer’s block. Well, actually, that sentence is clearly untrue. Being squirted in the eye with lemon juice hurts more than writer’s block. If I ever have writer’s block I just make an absolute statement and try to come up with creative exceptions. Here you try it – what sucks more than writer’s block – did someone say black holes?
Anyway. Here’s a fascinating article interviewing a bunch of creative people about how they get the creative juices flowing. Some good tips. The consensus seems to be that if you want to be creative you need to become familiar with the works of other creative people – or just branch out into a type of creativity you’re not being paid to produce. For the writer this might mean sketching.
One guy came up with this relatively delicious solution.
The solution to a problem–
Slice and chop 2 medium onions into small pieces.
Put a medium sized pan on a medium heat with a few glugs of Olive oil.
Add the onions to the pan, and a pinch of salt and pepper.
Chop finely three varieties of fresh chilli (Birds Eye, Scotch Bonnet & Green/Red).
Add the chilli’s to the pan, stir together and cook for eight minutes.
Add about 500g of extra lean Beef mince to the pan.
Stir in so that the Beef is coated and lightly browned (should take approx. 2 minutes).
Add salt and pepper.
Add Red Kidney Beans and tinned chopped Tomatoes.
Stir well.
Add a pinch of Cinnamon.
Cook on a low heat for approximately 20 mins.
–
Measure a cup and a half of Basmati Rice into a medium pan.
Add two and a quarter cups (the same cup you measured the Rice in) of cold water to the pan with the Rice.
Boil on a high heat until the lid rattles.
Turn down the heat to about half way and cook for eight minutes.
After eight minutes turn the heat off the rice, leave for four minutes (with the lid on).
–
Plate up the Rice (on the side), add the chilli.
–
Large glass of Red wine (preferably Australian or New Zealand).
–Now the important problem solving part–
Take the plates & pans to the sink.
Run a mixture of hot and cold (not too hot) water.
Add a smidgeon of washing up liquid (preferably for sensitive skin).
Start washing up, the mundane kicks in.
The mind clears and new thoughts and ideas appear.
–
Enjoy a second glass of wine to savour the moment.
Measuring in coffee
The coffee bean should really be a standard measure. Someone else out there (from the genetics department at the University of Utah) agrees with me. They’ve created this cool zoom in/zoom out infographic that displays the size of cells relative to the size of a coffee bean.
Artistic Ninja Turtles
Most people of my generation learned 76% of their renaissance art history from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Once you know about Leonardo Da Vinci, Donatello, Raphael and Michaelangelo you’re set at dinner parties for the rest of your life. But the original series was terrible at teaching anybody about modern art. Which is why these guys took it on themselves to introduce some new turtles to the bunch, and in the process they presented them in the style of their namesake.
How to type in Greek and Hebrew on a Mac
Macs make typing in foreign languages ridiculously easy. But if you haven’t figured it out yet here are some handy links.
How to set your language to Greek and use special characters.
How to type in Hebrew (I haven’t figured out how to get the vowels under the letters yet) (and a second helpful look at the keyboard layout).
Teenage Mutant Bacon Turtles
I like Bacon. I like our pet turtles. I can’t say I’ve ever thought of combining the two before. But some turtle fan out there has piqued my interest and whet my appetite. Mmm. Bacon. What a mutation.
How not to cut yourself with sharp knives
I love reading professionals giving tips for everyday living. This interview with a butcher is fascinating. He gives five tips (in detail) that I’ll summarise here on how not to cut yourself.
- Keep the knife in your hand
“You should hold your knife like the butt of a pistol, fingers wrapped tightly around the grip “like someone was trying to take it away from you.” Some people hold a boning knife like a conductor’s baton during a particularly slow part of Pachelbel’s Canon. This is wrong. You will either drop your knife through your fingers, causing you to cut your knife hand with your knife, or, more likely, lose track of it in your brain’s motor control center and cut the hand holding the meat.”
- Don’t cut towards yourself
Putting all your strength into a brazen “take it to the board” type of cut is a sure way to bury a knife in your chest, belly, femoral artery or … genitals. We’re not talking stitches here, we’re talking surgery at best and coffin at worst.
- Keep everything clean.
We take care to avoid fat buildup on our knife handles to prevent what I like to call “the knife handshake,” which consists of having your lubricated fist slip over the grip and onto the length of the blade. Wash your hands. Wash your knives. Thoroughly. Often.
- Do not leave knives on the table, ever.
This applies mainly in a butcher shop. The reason we wear somewhat garish knife scabbards on our hips is to avoid ever setting a knife on the table. Why? Our pieces of meat are large and heavy, and knives can be well hidden. Add force and weight, and you can imagine what might happen to your hand or forearm. Gross.
- Bones can be really sharp.
Bones, particularly the chine and feather bones along the spinal column, become extremely sharp and dangerous when cut by a carcass splitter.
Speaking of knives – I’ve been looking for an opportunity to plug a bunch of knives I bought online recently that have turned out to be incredibly awesome and very sharp. They’re also cheap. They are Thai restaurant style chef’s knives and cleavers and they’re the sharpest knives I’ve ever played with (not that playing with knives is a good idea).
On clichés and stereotypes
I did not know this. Did you?
Etymology is cool.
In printing, a cliché was a printing plate cast from movable type. This is also called a stereotype.When letters were set one at a time, it made sense to cast a phrase used repeatedly as a single slug of metal. “Cliché” came to mean such a ready-made phrase. The French word “cliché” comes from the sound made when the matrix is dropped into molten metal to make a printing plate.
From wikipedia, via Seth Godin
Mad Skillz: Ali on being poetic
Ali writes a poetic blog. Which by default means it’s deep. It’s not necessarily all about poetry but it’s the type of blog where just reading makes you feel more artistic and creative. That’s her milieu (to steal an artistic French word). To my knowledge we’ve never met – but we’ve both lived in Townsville. Ali is a former “Steve Irwin” style animal wrangler (as indicated by her link). This gives her some sort of credibility with those who don’t like poetry…
Here are Ali’s tips on how to be, or appear, poetic.
Let me first just say, I don’t get around calling myself a ‘poet’ so I feel like this is something of a joke, and there are those out there who with more credibility than me, so feel most free to comment/differ/add stuff. (My other option was editing, which might have been more use to some but would have been just as farcical. However, if you would like to know how to catch a koala, read here.
I supplemented this with some material from a course I did with Judith Beveridge, so you get something from a real expert.
- Read poetry. Read lots of it, and read the great poetry so your bar is high, but also read contemporary poetry (they are not necessarily mutually exclusive, but a lot of the known greats are actually dead). Having said that, the thing that actually started me writing poetry – even though I’d read it since school – was a friend giving me a poem they wrote for me, and it suddenly came within the realm of possibility, when I had never really thought about it before.
- Find out what sort of poet you are, your sympathies and approach. Then learn by imitation. It is actually the way to learn all art forms.
- Know the elements and rules of poetry. Read a book like “Rules for the Dance” by Mary Oliver (otherwise this post will never end). Only when you know the rules (rhythm, metre, line, form, sound, image, metaphor etc) can you break them effectively and do the “freefall” (as Mark Tredinnick called it) nicely (same goes for grammar might I add – that’s what MT was actually talking about). As with all creative writing, show and don’t tell. (So mostly don’t use abstractions – eg a word like “beautiful” is an abstraction so describe the elements of the beauty instead – or else interpret the concept/abstraction with an object eg “quiet as a house in which the witch has just stopped dancing” – “quiet” is the concept, the rest is the object (and obviously the whole thing is a metaphor) – I snitched this example from Judith Beveridge.)
- Work hard on language and find the language appropriate to the experience, and the appropriate form. The style and the content are inseparable. With the language you want the reader to feel like they are going through the experience and to be engaged on a sensory level. The vocabulary doesn’t need to be sophisticated necessarily but using ordinary words in different ways is good. (This is a kind of summary of stuff from the Judith Beveridge course.)
- As with all creative writing or creativity or skill, keep practicing and writing and also revising and editing and be prepared to fail along the way. (Seeing some drafts from the masters is enlightening – we tend to think poetry just rolls effortlessly off the tongue of the greats – not so, so be encouraged.)