Tag: ninja

Geriatric ninjas

These old people are being taught cane-fu. The ultimate in “aged care”. Found here.

“In the two-hour session, participants are taught a sampling of moves to use in different situations. The cane can simply be swung in circles, used to grab a foot or neck, and fashioned into a bat or poker. Advanced techniques even show a senior how to use a cane to ward off someone with a gun or knife.”
“You just don’t realize how much pain you could put on somebody really quick,” said 61-year-old Ed Smoak of Pinellas Park. “Nobody thinks of a cane as being any kind of an impressive weapon but even a person like me — I’m disabled, like I said I don’t move real well — and even me, I could do this.”

Ninjaroo

Turns out I was wrong. The platypus may not be the ninja of the animal world after all. I feel like I’m a little behind the times only posting this now – I saw it on the Today Show this morning. A kangaroo broke into a house in Canberra and the owner had to take it down wrasslin’ style in just his undies.

“My initial thought when I was half awake was [that] it’s a lunatic ninja coming through the window,” Mr Ettlin told The Associated Press.

Awesome skillz

“You know, like nunchuku skills, bow hunting skills, computer hacking skills… Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills.”

Not since Napoleon Dynamite waxed lyrical about the virtues of the nunchuck have the ancient ninja weapon been so cool. Ok, I guess when Bruce Lee played ping pong with them they were cool too:

But butane lighter/flashlight combo cool? No way. These were so cool they’re now discontinued. Out of spiteful awesomeness.

nunchucks

Now with ninjas

I’ve often mentioned my love for ninjas. This site just got more awesome thanks to “ninjafy”. You may notice a little button in the column on the left that says “ninjafy”… press it. I dare you. Be warned – ninjas are coming at you. 

Is there anything that could make this site more awesome? I doubt it. The more times you press it the more ninjas you get.

Nothing says “sure can” like shuriken

Want to pin up your work in intimidating style? Bring your ninja skills to the cubicle wall with these… they will however set you back $12 (Canadian) for a set of 3. Match them with the aforementioned shuriken fridge magnets for total ninja feng shui.

Spiderman

I’m sure you remember David Thorne – even if his name isn’t immediately familiar. He’s the guy who tried to pay an outstanding debt with a spider drawing. He’s back. This time inviting himself to a neighbour’s housewarming after he received this note in his letterbox:

I won’t spoil it for you, but this is one of my favourite bits from the lengthy exchange of emails:

“Once, I went to a party in a bear outfit which worked out well as it was freezing and I was the only one warm. As it won’t be cold the night of your party, I have decided to come as a Ninja. I think it would be really good if you dressed as a ninja as well and we could perform a martial arts display for the other guests. I have real swords and will bring them. If you need help with your costume let me know, I have made mine by wrapping a black t-shirt around my face with a hooded jacket and cut finger holes in black socks for the gloves. I do not have any black pants so will spray paint my legs on the night.

It is a little hard to breath in the costume so I will need you to keep the window open during the party to provide good air circulation. Actually, I just had a thought, how awesome would it be if I arrived ‘through’ the window like a real ninja. We should definitely do that. I just measured the distance between our balconies and I should be able to jump it. I once leaped across a creek that was over five metres wide and almost made it.”

Bored at work…

I know this girl who is scarily competent with a sword. She’s some sort of master of an obscure martial art – and her MSN tag line often reflects this. Today I was bored at work, and she was online. Hilarity ensued. I have changed her name to “Ninja” because it was a series of Asian characters with the tagline – “the weapon is irrelevent. it is the warrior that must be trained”

It’s raining outside, I’m killing time until home time at 5 and I think this is pretty funny.

Nathan says: the weapon is relevant if I have a tank and you have a toothpick
Nathan says: that saying is dumb
Nathan says: my tank would seriously mess you up
Nathan says: no matter how good a warrior you become
Nathan says: the same could be said for a rocket launcher
Nathan says: or even a grenade
Ninja says: it’s a martial arts thing
Ninja says: I don’t expect someone who isn’t a martial artist to understand
Nathan says: well good luck pitting your martial arts against my tank
Nathan says: unless we’re in Karate Kid 7
Ninja says: but still, the tank is irrelevant if u haven’t been taught how to use it
Nathan says: then your toothpick would stand a chance, it could jam up my navigational equipment and I could either blow myself up by shooting a nearby wall – or you could then open the lid and beat the crap out of me without a toothpick
Nathan says: they make tanks pretty user friendly these days – Americans have to be able to drive them
Ninja says: ur just being silly and difficult
Nathan says: I don’t think being blown up by a tank is silly – or particularly difficult
Nathan says: I just think your quote fails to take into account the sheer range of weaponry available on the black market these days
Nathan says: try facing a nuke with a sword
Ninja says: well how about u stop taking what I say out of context
Ninja says: it is a quote aimed at martial artists. as u r not one, I do not expect u to understand it, and it is not important to u at all
Nathan says: but if I was fighting one I expect I’d want a pretty good weapon
Nathan says: I couldn’t beat one bare handed
Nathan says: there’s an old saying that says you shouldn’t bring a knife to a gunfight
Nathan says: I think the weapon is particularly relevant
Nathan says: whatever the context
Ninja says: still u fail to understand
Ninja says: come back and talk to me after u’ve achieved a black belt in a martial arts
Ninja says: then I might pay attention
Nathan says: why would I wait until then
Nathan says: I’ll just fight you now – your sword to my machine gun
Nathan says: see, silly quote
Ninja says: grow up
Ninja says: and don’t talk to me again unless u have something sensible to say
Nathan says: I with no training could beat you with a better weapon
Nathan says: the warriors training is only relevant if the weapons share similar potency
Ninja says: it’s not about weapon against weapon!!!
Ninja says: it’s about your own training!
Ninja says: it’s saying that to even be able to wield a weapon, YOU must be trained, not the weapon itself
Nathan says: no, that’s not true – I can wield any weapon I want – competency doesn’t come into whether or not I can wield it – only how well I do.
Nathan says: warriors are trained for war are they not?
Ninja says: u have no idea

And then she blocked me. At least I think she did.

Musical Calculus

I’d like to use today’s entry to pose a question inspired by Mark’s comment on my last post.

“The “derivative is bad” argument is silly. Pretty much everything in art, music, science, social/political thought, etc has prior art “influences” and thus can be seen as derivative or reactionary.”

Yes Mark, that is a fair comment – and one well backed up by the Ecclesiastes passage you referred us to. Nothing is new under the sun. However, that does not give musicians open slather to run around stealing other people’s style. Intellectual property laws ensure that you can’t get away with simply stealing another person’s idea, and doing so in the realms of art, music, science and social thought is generally frowned upon. It’s called plagiarism. You don’t see wannabe painters out there recreating the Mona Lisa. If music is art then some originality is required. When seven bands release seven songs with the same chord progression and the all wear the same clothes, and claim the same influences – bands 2 through to 7 of that group are redundancies – unless 2 is a tribute band with a clever pun as a name.

There’s an old song lyric – and you can google it if you like – that says “if everybody looked the same, we’d get tired of looking at each other,” which is pretty much the point of the “derivative is bad argument” – if all music sounded the same we would get tired of listening to it. Therefore derivative music is bad.

I would also make a distinction between “derived” and “influenced” – derived work is something that could only be reached by copying something – there is no art to that. So that step in Mark’s syllogism is a non sequitur.

In the words of someone who played an important role in the artistic movement – or in the words of some sort of manifesto – Vive Le Difference…

And now… on the subject of the French and Revolutions – check out the newest, most coolest thing on the internet – askaninja – actually it’s not new, only recently discovered…

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=56vcMhVv_WM]