Tag: scam baiting

Longest scambaiting post ever

This is a long and drawn out piece of scambaiting.

It started on the 20th of August. And is still going. I will edit the transcript in order to make it slightly more readable. I’ll keep the whole 9,000 words somewhere handy though. Just in case you want to read it.


I was crucified with Christ; and if I live, this  it’s more me which screw, it’s Christ who lives in me, if I live now in the wine storehouse, I live in the Faith with the Son of God, who I liked and which it’s even for me is delivered.


We are an ONG (Governmental organization) having for denomination LIFE, FAITH & CHRISTIANISM, we are here localised in Abidjan (Ivory Coast – West Africa) and come by this letter to inform you of our wishes to collaborate with your structure in various fields even by adding your various services to it;

  • The fight against all the forms of exclusion
  • The defense and the covering of human dignity
  • To act effectively for employment of the handicapped people
  • To act for the women in precarious situation helps with the children war victims and conflicts of improvement of the conditions of hospitalization of the children
  • Assistance with the prisoners living in misery
  • Assistance for the children of the street
  • Helps with désœuvrés, the woman and the family
  • Faith as a God and Chretiennity Improvement of quality of the life Us kids any idea of " difference" between the Human ones.

Our will is to be useful for quality of life, the dignity of Human being thus with the safeguard of our planet.

Then dear collaborator future here is a little an account of what we do cause for which we let us ask you a partnership but for further information, prayer to join, the contact below,

Sincere greetings,

Richard AKRE


I love it when these scammers have such a working knowledge of the Bible. Here’s my first response:

Greetings in the name of the Lord.

My brethren, it is timely that you write to me. I am a Christian man working for the Anglican Church of Brisbane, Australia.

I have been commissioned to produce a calendar for the church using photographs of Christians from around the world. I have been searching message boards to find Christian people to help me.

We need photographs of people from around the world holding an A4 piece of paper with their favourite Bible passage printed on it.

I urge you my brother to participate, and to have your friends and brothers in the Lord participate too.

We will pay you for the time associated with producing the photographs and for their ongoing commercial use in the calendar.
Please my brother, let me know if you are interested. Our time is running out to get this produced on time.

He took further steps to establish his credentials…

Dear brother as a Christ,

Sincere greetings and also thank you for promptitude with which you have to us forward your answer, because all this, they are works of our Lord Very Powerful Jesus Christ, who gave us the chance to be born and be able to exist, but in the good sense which is to follow it everywhere where we are;

We are indeed a Christian mission set up in an Governmental organization who has occupied herself for a few years of several fields and evils of the life of the human being, having been enumerated in our preceding note which you received.

Our establishment and our administration supplement are based in Ivory Coast ;

We have in our centre of the cabins as well as offices containing the direction, but without forgotten to mean here that this establishment of which we manage say the places to speak about the building who is our shelter for these various helps that we quoted above is under hiring since the beginning of the creation of our structure, then we detail you the assistance which we need and which you asked;

1. We have need so necessary and possible for a rehabilitation of our buildings because the various people (children, men & women), are in excess or in the contrary case a perfect acquisition with us of our places which will belong to us definitively.

2. We need, and this is very urgent because the return to school is spirit to start on our premises. We have in our centre 25 (Twenty Five) Minors having the age to be to provide education for, causes for which this point is paramount, therefore we need your assistance in the worst case cases in all these details than we give you than you help us to make provide education for these children. A help so that we can make known the good to be and sees it school with these various children for the majority orphans and other children of the street of going to school.

3. We would like, for this precise case, to give the chance to these various women to be likely to resume for others their various work and for what did not have a job of it so that our loads can dropped. But it would have to be known that this essential point is not inevitably a major and financial help coming from your share but a help enabling you to approach certain associations and organizations of your area which will enable us to provide for the various needs for these women.

4. This point is essential with the prisoners of prisons which go in the same direction with the third point that we quoted.

Dear collaborator as a Christ, here in a few words the first remarks which we can give you like information, but as know as for additional details, please join Pastor, with the address below.

Sincere greetings and that God the Powerful Whole, blesses you in advance for the assistance that you carry us and takes care at the same time on you and your family.

NB: Our concern first is to make provide education for in briefs times the children, the others will be able to come then after, for this, we await an urgent answer of you and in the briefs times because the return to school is close.

NB1: If you call, can you speak more french?

God blesses you like your family!

ONG Life, Faith & Christianity

Richard AKRE


The question now is can I land the fish…

I can not speak French at all. I am happy to talk to you in English by email.
My brother in the Lord it seems we have a confluence of opportunities. A meeting of the minds.

You are looking for donations to aid in the work of the Lord and I am paying money to aid in the work of the Lord.

Are you interested in doing business with me? My friend, tell me, did I mention my work in my last email to you? It seems so long ago.

I have been asked to produce a calendar for sale by my church. The calendar needs photos of people from all over the world, and we will pay money to cover your costs and for the ongoing commercial use of the image. We can negotiate an appropriate fee to ensure that your mission to your country receives a generous gift.

My friend, please let me know if you have a camera at your disposal – that is all you will need to complete this transaction. Our budget, because we expect to sell these calendars throughout the world, is quite large.

I look forward to hearing your reply.

His next email tried to get his little scam back on track. But I’m not interested in that, he wanted me to know it’s all legal


You know, it is very good to know that you are spirit to become the man, who will open the doors of human and natural knowledge to these children in distress, causes for which since your first message, we have to initiate with our various members here on the spot meetings of prayer in your opposition.

Also concerning the legality of this business which puts to us in collaboration with you as being our at the same time associated benefactor and but also brother as a Christ, we would like that you know that this is 100% legal and without risk then did not fear because the word of God and the name even of the Very Powerful Jesus Christ are crowned things who do not deserve to be to expose, thus we think that you include/understand where we would like to come from there.

Thus, we would like, you having reassured to have certain explanation who are the following:

1. Concerning the children, be you ready to help us financially for the schooling of those c’ be-with-to say the twenty five (25) children?

2. Depending on the rehabilitation of our structure can we count on your financial supervision?

3. Etc….

Dear, these two fundamental points, quoted above, we can count on your contribution in briefs times?


– Of which country are you?

– Do you Have of the family?

– Can you give us the complete names of the members of your family so that we can insert them during our prayers for you?

Impatiently and with the will of the Powerful Whole, we thank you for this collaboration and request God the Powerful Whole which it eternally takes care on you and your family!

God blesses you!


Pastor Richard AKRE

He seems to have missed my point. I best bring him back to the straight and narrow…

Dear Richard,
I wonder if you considered the opportunity I presented to you in my last email.

My brother we have a chance here to work together for the glory of the Kingdom.

I stand ready to assist you – but would find it most beneficial if we assist one another.

If you can provide photographs for use in the calendar project I am working on, my church – the Anglican Diocese of Brisbane – will provide direct payment for these photos, and a further generous donation to your ministries. But I must receive these photos as a sign of good faith first.

A reminder of my proposal – we are producing a commercial calendar featuring photos of Christians from around the world promoting the Bible as the Word of God. We want each person photographed to be holding a sign featuring their favourite Bible verse. We will pay for their costs associated with the photograph (negotiable) and an amount for the ongoing use of the photograph for our purposes ($US800 per photo).

Here are the answers to your queries:
1. We are more than happy to provide support and schooling for 25 children. Many more in fact. I think it might be a reasonable idea for each of these children to enter into a scholarship arrangement – where you provide their photos both for our congregation to pray for the children and for inclusion in the calendar – let me know if this works for you and your organisation.
2. You can count on the support of our church if we can count on you to support our work through prayer and these photographs.
3. I have spoken to my Bishop – we are happy to confirm funding for you if you are happy to participate in the Calendar project. I will need confirmation that this is possible before proceeding.

That seemed to do the trick.


We are really very to impress by your messages, this being we will be direct with you known what follows: Initially, the negotiation that we would like to carry out with you do not have to be through a computer, we would like that this is physical thus, we are ready to move Mr Richard AKRE, to join you with all the complete project with a agreement of the children and all the project of our association to meet you over there in Australia to be discussed and fall a agreement on all the basic principles of this business!

It’s to be said the letter of invitation, the certificate d’ lodging and especially the ticket a plane for a short time?

He wants to send himself to visit? We can’t have that.

Greetings my brother,

I would prefer to finish this transaction as quickly as possible. The deadline for my calendar is next Wednesday.

I do not have time, if we are to conclude our partnership to the Glory of God, to bring Richard to Australia.

My church is ready to make the necessary payments to fund your ministry as soon as we receive the photographs for our calendar publication.

You can send as many photos as you want – and we will pay you for each – a production cost of $US50 and a payment for the ongoing commercial use of the photographs of $US1000.

Please let me know if this is possible urgently.

He seems to think that harping on about his fictional children is going to be the thing that persuades me…

Brother as a Christ,

How are you, we are very happy to have to you as collaborator, for our ministry and helps it with these children who are also creatures of God and which need to live, thus, we would like to know if it is always possible that you help for the schooling of the children, to give them an adequate space for their studies?

With much of anxiety and much from hope, we in vain await your message of confirmation which will give boom in the middle of these children so that they know that one never should lower the arms when there is hope, then pained which we are to find of the financing and the assistance, we carry all our hope on you and impatiently await a favorable answer of you in briefs times!

God fills you his grace brother!

Pastor AKRE

I think he has multiple personality disorder. He’s certainly not listening to what I have to say…

Brother Akre,

I am glad to hear from you again.

I will be happy to help under the conditions named in our previous correspondence.

I will provide $1,000 (US) per photograph I receive (of publishable quality) of yourself and the children holding a sign with their favourite verse from the Bible on it.

As I mentioned I need these urgently to produce the publication I am working on for the Catholic Diocese of Brisbane (http://bne.catholic.net.au/asp/index.asp).

Please get these photos to me as soon as possible. The Bishop has informed me that if you provide a number of photographs we will make a donation of $10,000 on behalf of the diocese.

Bruce Johnson

And then there was silence. On the 31st of August I sent this email…

Dear Pastor Akre,
I don’t think you’ve understood the nature of this proposal.

We are happy to provide a donation to your church. Directly. And at a more generous level than this attachment suggests.

But we must first receive the photographs for this calendar. Otherwise I will have to pass this request on to our international missions branch and it will go into a pile of applications with hundreds of other international ministries.

I must stress. If you would like to receive payment promptly then we will supply you with $US1000 for every publishable photograph for use in our calendar. I will also need to send you a "release form" to allow us to use these images for commercial purposes. This isn’t a big deal.

If you send us 10 photos of people holding signs with their favourite Bible verse written on them we will send you $10,000.

Bruce Johnson
Catholic Church
Diocese of Brisbane

I received no reply. But two weeks later Pastor Richard emailed me again… with a new opportunity… (almost the same email as the first one just with some new objectives)…

  • The fight against all the forms of exclusion
  • The defense and the covering of human dignity
  • To act effectively for employment of the handicapped people
  • To act for the women in precarious situation helps with the children war victims and conflicts of improvement of the conditions of hospitalization of the children
  • Assistance with the prisoners living in misery
  • Assistance for the children of the street
  • Helps with désœuvrés, the woman and the family
  • Faith as a God and Chretiennity Improvement of quality of the life Us kids any idea of " difference" between the Human ones.
  • Our will is to be useful for quality of life, the dignity of Human being thus with the safeguard of our planet.


• To create a center of reintegration for his/her children

• Provided education for in these times of crisis

• To build a vault

• To build a mosque for the Moslems

• To acquire funds to finance the projects of oldest

Then dear collaborator future here is a little an account of what we do cause for which we let us ask you a partnership but for further information, prayer to join, the contact below,

Sincere greetings,

Richard AKRE

I replied.

Pastor Richard,

You have emailed me before.
As a Christian I am very keen to help you. But I would like to propose a solution of benefit to both of us – where I help you, and you help me.
Please email me back for details.

PS. I don’t want to build a Mosque for the Muslims. Rather I want to convert them to Christianity.



But most important in that, is to have an approval of you to represent your structure say church here in West Africa, then prayer to announce to us in briefs times if it is possible and how to reach that point but initially can you bring an financial aid to our file so that we can acquire a financing which will allow these small human beings that the Lord left without support so that it can be provided education for and found the benches of the school like their friends having all of the parents?

God protects you from his grace!

Pastor AKRE


Dear Pastor Akre,

I am happy to help out as much as I can. And my church has some budget that may be able to be spent appropriately.

It is currently allocated to the production of our annual Global Missions Calendar.

This year we are seeking photographs of Christians from around the world, all the Christians we are featuring will be holding a sign, or having a sign in the photo, featuring their favourite Bible verse.

We want as many of these pictures as possible, and will pay $300 per photo for the rights to print them and sell the calendars to members of our church, and the wider Christian community.

Would you be interested? We can not pay up front – but we will most certainly pay as soon as we receive these pictures.

Mr Bruce Johnson,

Here, we are very happy to read you and of knowing that we can benefit from this privilege, but at the same time satisfy-you to pay continuation if some of our photographs reached to you that point?

But will know that with all that, it would be necessary $500 Dollars per photograph for us and not $300 because, it is difficult the acquisition of these photographs and the material to be used must be to thus rent to try to include/understand us, but with your positive agreement, we could forward to you seven photographs in our message, therefore prepare-you to make us the financial affair as of seven photographs at the same time as of reception.

Sincere greetings!

Pastor AKRE

$500? Outrageous.

Hi Pastor Akre,
Would you accept $400?
We are unable to pay before receiving the photographs because we need to make sure they are appropriate for our purposes.



I come by this letter to forward of good news following the business which we maintain together since then.

To made, I come to have the photographs that you ask me and I should be able to forward you two photographs currently, but being to fall on an area of agreement from $ 400 Dollars per photograph, I would like to be sure that you will make me a western union total of the two photographs as of reception of this letter so that I can forward them to you because I am spirit to take other photographs here.

But yourself you know that it is very hard to convince certain people without spending here one centime, causes for whom, I also take the trouble to financially remunerate those by which I take the photographs that I must dispatch you, then quickly include/understand to me and made something so that we can work quickly and in the good sense.

I can have your confirmation to forward to you the two photographs to have their money which I will use to continue work?

Also I could meet you one of these days?


An advance fee hey? I’ve heard of those…

Great news Pastor Akre,
Before I pay – are you able to send one photo to me just so I can make sure it’s got the right quality (it must be of a printable resolution), and that you are on the right track.
While you do that I will contact my church office and have them prepare the transaction.



As been appropriate and promised, here is in enclosure, one of the first photographs which I would like to forward to you.

It is the photograph of three Christian cantors of our church and at the same time, they belong to the choral society of the young people. It is a photograph which is of type JPEG, with high-resolution, then I think that of photograph you will like this kind because I am spirit to still take others but it is not easy, because the goal of my subject by taking these photographs everyone with the church knows it and one would never have to lie on stories relating to a work of God, causes for whom each person with which I am spirit to work for the photographs sees herself financially thus remunerating I think that you also you will make the same thing with respect to me because I miss melt financial.

This being forwarded me as of reception of this photograph the $ 400 Dollars so that we can continue work and that for a perfect honesty and a frankness in the collaboration which we let us engage, thus I think that you always have my address to make me transfer by Western Union the $ 400 Dollars because I await them as of reception of this photograph and this mail.

God protects you brother!




Pastor Akre,
Thanks for the photo. It is of a suitable quality – but could you demonstrate that you understand the requirements?
These women must be presenting their favourite Bible verse (preferably on a sign, or with a piece of paper in the photo somewhere).
Just having the reference (eg John 3:16) on the sign will be suitable.
When you send me a sample with the appropriate content I will run it by my board and have the transfer made to you as soon as possible.
Thank you so much for your time.

Mr Bruce,

I think that we get along badly!

Because it was expected that you can advance the $ 400 Dollars of the first photograph of which you had reception and it is in any frankness and any honesty that one works on confidence, then I ask you to say to me if I receive this amount before continuing work and it is in the faith and fear of God that all this work is spirit to be accomplished.

Thus you want to also say that if I had to you forward enough of photograph of our parish, that to me went remained null and nonwhich occurred?

Has there include/understand me because me also since our beginning of relation and after having agreed to do this work for you, I spend are thus made here in as much!

Then what will please to me and to read in your next email, it is to have the sense of smell of the things and to be able to forward my due because here also I have make my market share by paying the work which I make and this why I make, then impatiently and in the next message address to me the receipt authenticated of the $ 400 Dollars, but I think all the same that you always have my address for sending of this sum by Western Union, of the need unite me on the telephone quickly!

God protects you!



Dear pastor Akre,
I am sorry that you feel I have mislead you, especially since I have been very clear from the beginning.

It is unfortunate that your cooperation has come at an unexpected cost. I have spoken to my financial controller and we have agreed to cover your costs – subject to receiving an image that meets our requirements – you may recall that in our original missive I made the following offer:

“This year we are seeking photographs of Christians from around the world, all the Christians we are featuring will be holding a sign, or having a sign in the photo, featuring their favourite Bible verse.
We want as many of these pictures as possible, and will pay $300 per photo for the rights to print them and sell the calendars to members of our church, and the wider Christian community. "

if you can supply the photo as described we can now offer you $800, subject to an agreement that the extra money will be used for ministry.

Then silence…

Pastor Akre,
Any luck securing this photo?
We are nearing our deadline and holding a page for you. If the photo is of sufficient quality I have also pushed for it to be our cover photo (which would result in a further payment of $2000).
Please let me know your response immediately.
I will also need to send you some talent release forms that acknowledge that the people in the photos are willing to be featured in a commercially produced publication.

Then this…


It’s OK for me can you send the things now?

Pastor AKRE

Not good enough.

Pastor Akre,
I’ve spent the last few days in meetings about the production of this calendar.
Unfortunately our Chief Executive Officer is adamant that we need to receive a printable picture featuring a bible verse before making payment.
Please advise if this is possible.
We are sorry for the inconvenience this causes but assure you in the name of Jesus that we will meet our word and you will not regret the time you spend producing the image.

Mr Bruce,

Very filled with wonder in the direction at glory, fear and the love of god, the images that you to ask will be produced but given at the same time but it would be necessary that you know that the reception will be for Friday 2 say tomorrow evening, then informed your superior as of now whom you will receive 10 Images with the format that you ask for your calendar.

But will know that the cost of the image compared to the annoyances and other expenses which I am spirit to endorse here will thus raise with an amount of $ 500 Dollars say $ 5.000 Dollars for the ten images but a compensation of $ 1.300 Dollars for damage, interest and times wasted.

Then I think that if we fall from agreement on this point, you will receive these images as soon as possible!

God fills you his grace!

Pastor AKRE


Pastor Akre,
We are at an important juncture in the publication of our calendar so can accept those terms, subject to receiving the images complete with bible verses.
We will transfer the $6,300 upon receiving your files.
I look forward to concluding this transaction, for God’s glory.
In Christ,

Bruce brother,

I include/understand you and at the same time I take the trouble to put to me on the position of God the Powerful Whole and Miséricordieux to grant this grace to you to establish these photographs that I you sending as of reception of your OK but at the same time of a telephone call in my connection with the trifle summon of $ 6.300 Dollars.

Thus this being, prayer as of reception to grant to me; be-with-to say to join to me to my contacts telephone direct so that the transaction is established but front while forwarding to you these photographs.

As, I ask as you not disappoint me because it is the first Christian business which we treat together and who knows can be that there will be several but at the same time, I would like to insinuate that it is possible to grant seminars and religious weeks, you of inviting us over there on your premise with our choral society if necessary that you can also come here for religious ceremonies which will agree our bonds of friendship, from fraternity but from the Faith growing as a Jesus Christ!

This being, I take the trouble to leave you my direct contacts below so that I would be to inform of your OK by telephone and to address to you the various photographs taken with various members and children of our Christian ministry but while holding a bible with the hand or opened.

God fills you and dear brother as a Christ blesses you!

Pastor AKRE

Call me if you receive this email brother Bruce


Pastor Akre,
Our phones are unable to dial international numbers. This is a major inconvenience for us and I am seeking to rectify it.
Please feel free to call me on +61 **** *** ***.
I look forward to receiving your photographs and your phone call today.

I got the impression from his last email that he still hadn’t quite grasped the concept…

Pastor Akre.
Before you take these photos – having a Bible in hand will not do – it needs to be a reference to a Bible verse.
Like holding a sign that says "John 3:16".
We want to showcase people’s favourite verses from around the world.
I hope you have not already proceeded.

Brother Bruce ,

Thank you for do your message, but as you know as you are spirit to make me turn in round like my faithful of the church?

That because I have to you announce and yourself at the first time confirmed that it was necessary to take the photographs with a bible in the hand and there I have just spent enough of money in this job that you to ask me for your annual calendar of which I did not have any subsidy.

Thus, you reconsider another load, then will please reflect well but know that before this continuous collaboration, I have to spend too much to remain this thus being, on the $ 6.300 Dollars, I require as of reception for this message of a subsidy which will cover my already made expenditure and what you to ask me, also a subsidy of an amount of $ 1.200 Dollars if you include/understand what I want to say.

These $ 1.200 Dollars, I would like that you can subject them to me by this Monday October 5, 2009 by Western Union because we have just held today Sunday a meeting of Ministry and I mobilized the majority of my team to continue.

Be comprehensible and will know that I am it since the beginning, then are you of agreement YES or not on this principle?

But will know that the $ 1.200 Dollars will be deducted in the expenses from the $ 6.300 Dollars, then I count on you for the Western Union transaction of this money so quickly so that you also you are satisfied on your side and for your project with Christian calendar.

God the Lord, carries out you on his right way my brother!

Pastor AKRE


Pastor Akre,
I am sorry. I have been clear with my instructions regarding the photographs. I have reviewed my emails.
If you are interested in securing your $6300 please conclude this transaction as soon as possible.
Our accounts department advises that funds can only be transferred in return for services rendered. We must receive photos that meet our requirements before making the payment. I have included the email I received in response to your request below.
Brother, our print deadlines are approaching please don’t back down on me now. I have vouched for you in all our meetings and promised that you would deliver images appropriate for the cover of our calendar as well as many inside pages.
In Christ,

2009/10/5 Bob Bennett
While we understand the plight Pastor Akre reports regarding securing the photographs in question it is church policy to not deliver funds electronically or via Western Union/money transfer until receiving the services related to the payment.
I’m sure you’ll understand that this protects the church from fraud and gives us the greatest control over allocation of budget.
Please let Pastor Akre know that this is not because we do not trust him – rather it is the policy by which we operate under section 12.2 of our Financial Policy.
I look forward to seeing the 2010 Calendar in its printed glory. The 2009 version is a favourite in the office and all my relatives love it.
If you (or he) have any queries please call me on my mobile.
+61434 *** ***
In Christ,

He didn’t reply to me for a while. So I sent another email…

Pastor Akre,
Hi, I’m wondering if you can just send me whatever photos you have?
We go to print on Thursday so I’m going to need your photos as soon as possible or I’ll have to turn to a couple of other churches I’ve contacted in Ghana and Cote D’Ivoire.
Could you please advise if you are able to provide the photos as soon as you get this email. Either by replying, or calling me on my mobile – +61 *** *** ***.
I will make payment as soon as the photos are received and checked for quality by my designer.
I am a little worried that I have not yet received them from you. It seems a small price to pay for $6300.
In Christ,


Pastor Akre,
Could you please respond to my email or call me as soon as you get this message.
If I do not hear from you in 24 hours I will have to cancel our transaction and reallocate the budget we have set aside for supporting your ministry.
In Christ,

Bruce brother,

It is very important that you know that the work that you asked is very meticulous, causes for whom, we then give you a delivery period which is fixed at Friday September 9 at the morning of Saturday September 10 to deliver all this to you, make include/understand with your administration and also include/understand you it.

Because, it would be necessary to put the religious community here in confidence that their photographs or those of the children, do not go in the hands of whoever causes for which in my person, I make make personal meetings and even expenditure for the members and others and to acquire their confidence.

But also for confidence that we carry, prayer to pay the totality of the $ 6.300 Dollars per western union as of reception of the photographs and even as of reception of this email, prayer to forward me in WORD document, the 10 verses to be printed which will be used to make the photographs.

God blesses you!

Pastor AKRE


Pastor Akre,
Thank you my brother for your response. Please note that these photos must be received by that date.
I have CC’d our accounts manager Bob Bennett in to this email to ensure that payment is made promptly once we receive the photos.
We look forward to partnering you in the work of our Lord Jesus Christ in your country and throughout the world. I have attached a list of ten verses for your consideration.

I attached a word document requesting ten verses.


He replied. I got a little excited.

Brother, You will receive the documents as envisaged d’ here 48 hours thus you for the financial affair prepare at the same time! Pastor AKRE

I replied

We stand ready and able to make the transfer upon receiving the photographs. I thank you for your cooperation. We are fellow workers in the harvest of our Lord’s people.

I got nothing. On the day I was meant to receive the files I sent this email.

Brother pastor Akre,
I look forward to receiving the anticipated photos today. Our accounts department stands ready to proceed with payment on the moment that we receive your email containing the photographs.

He replied. Finally.

Brother as a Christ,

Still much FORGIVENESS for this once go all lacked reception of the photographs.

But will know that it is not here our fault because us even, need this money which you will make come as of reception for the rehabilitation from our building which shelters us as well as other things to be made going in the direction and the way of God!

Prayer to forgive us once again for the appointment missed while adding that you will receive them in these times as soon as the breakdowns of our apparatuses here are arranged because we let us have of old apparatuses which causes us enough trouble.

God protects you dear brother!

Pastor AKRE

Stalling. Stalling and more stalling.

Brother Akre,
Do you have any idea when we will receive the files. We can not make payment until we them.
In Christ,



Thank you for your confidence and also be without fear, because we have just rented apparatuses with credit which will enable us to make you the forwarding of the documents say the photographs before the semi-day of Thursday, therefore to count on us and our confidence as we do it in your connection brother!

Be in the blessing of the Saint Spirit!

Pastor AKRE


Pastor Akre,
I am glad to hear you have secured the technology – as we have no wish to inconvenience you financially please add the cost of the apparatus hire to our final bill.
We will pay for this and for the work produced.
Thank you for your willing service my brother. I look forward to seeing the pictures.
I will tell our designer to await delivery of the files on Thursday.
In Christ.



I come by the present letter to mean you all the happiness which we have to undertake a sincere collaboration, frank, honest and profitable with you!

Also, did not fear, you will receive the photographs in time and we could continue this collaboration while investing on another field still which will seem to you positive to grow this collaboration.

Also would it be possible to physically meet you at the convenient period?

Could we have the kindness to be to invite by your structure over there in your country of origin?

In waiting of a favorable continuation, receive the peace of the saint spirit!

Pastor AKRE


I’m sure we can arrange to invite a delegation from your church to meet us for the launch of this calendar in which you are collaborators and partners.
We will continue to keep in touch after receiving the files as agreed.
Also, further to this project, do you have any issues that our church can be praying for for you at this time? We would like to add your church to our prayer list.
In Christ,


Pastor Akre,
I was disappointed not to receive the files you promised.
Please can you get them to me by Sunday or we will have to cancel our arrangement and look to other churches for support in this matter and ongoing partnership.


Pastor Akre,
Has something happened? I was expecting to receive these photographs last Thursday. Please let us know what is going on. If we don’t receive them in the next few days it’s going to make getting the calendar produced on time a very difficult task.
You and your church are in our prayers.
In Christ,


Pastor Akre,
Assuming you are able to produce the photos in time (by Wednesday this week) we would like to invite you, and representatives from your church, to join us in Sydney for the launch. I have attached the invitation as a JPG or as a PDF.
We will confirm the booking of flights as soon as we receive the files.
We are happy to organise your travel or to organise for payment to be made to your airline supplier of choice.
Please contact our accounts manager – Bob Bennett (bob.j.bennett@gmail.com) to confirm details for the transfers. I have CC’d Bob into this email so that you can send your reply to both of us.
I repeat – bookings will only be made once the images have been received, and payment has been made to you for the photos.


My Bruce Brother,

First of all thank you for the confidence placed in us because it is a thing rare to find in these times hard of the people like you!

Also concerning, the photographs, you will have them without problem, but what blocks is all simply that I had you to know that because of our defective and old apparatuses of I do not know how long! We had to make rent apparatuses elsewhere and causes it for which, you did not receive these photographs yet is very simple, it is that in made, the accountancy of on our premises while leaving to rent these apparatuses, do not have state to me that we were with court of finance and the data-processing structure at which, the apparatuses were rented with make sign a pledge with the accountant and in the presence of an usher!

Then on the pledge, having been registered that in 72 Hours, the structure having to enter in possession of which had sound, the accountant also me ace not informed because I was in displacement for a seminar here in Ivory Coast!

Thus behind me, this usher came to make a seizure of the apparatuses in hiring in our buildings, all that because of an initial amount of $ 765 Dollars for all the complete one of the apparatuses, causes for which you did not receive the photographs in time and we spent all the weekend making go and come between the police station, the office of the usher and our mission to regulate that, but currently our accountant who signed this document is under police custody for abuse of power, therefore, it is asked to us to pay the amount of the hiring plus $ 500 Dollars to release the accountant but at the same time to have access to the apparatuses to finish the forwarding of the photographs!

Then is it possible on your side to make us in the Saint Name of the Very Powerful Jesus Christ this advance so that we regulated this history here and to forward to you in the hours which follow all the photographs?

Also we would like to know, on the side of the invitation letter, it is possible to move me with how much people of the ministry for your country, say Sydney?

How the peace of the powerful whole is with you!

Also receive with your approval if it is possible to make us a transfer as of now, the additional details with a Western Union transaction as of this moment:

God bless you sir!

Pastor AKRE

This next one was just plain confusing.

Hello in the name of Christ brother!

I am with the fact Pastor AKRE, of the Ivory Coast, say West Africa!

We are of total coordination with the Bruce brother who gave us your contact, then having to address an email to you, with you and with the Bruce brother, we would like to know your opinion on this fact but will know that you will receive the photographs in desired times and it would be necessary that you can refer to our last note!

Also for all knowledge, tomorrow being Tuesday, we have forward to you a message a message in this day of Monday, therefore that you think about it!

Now we are entitled to how much people in our ministry for the ceremony of launching of the calendar! Make us the knowledge, because having explained you in our preceding message what we live ourselves, it would be necessary to be lenient and listened to the Powerful Whole so that we can make leave our accountant the police custody with the police force currently while listening to the assertion of the bailiff and this with which we obtained this material in hiring!

God protects you brother!

Pastor AKRE


Pastor Akre,
I have received your email.
Unfortunately our payment policy is clear. We must receive the goods before making the payment.
I pray that you will speedily find a solution to these issues because unless we receive the photographs by the end of the week. Feel free to add any costs to your final bill.
There will be close to 10,000 people at the Sunday service where we will launch this calendar. If you could put together a choir to perform some African songs of praise we could make some time in the program for you.
Please inform Bob Bennett of the number of people you would like to bring to Sydney. Once you have sent the photos we will transfer money to you so that you can purchase the flights.
In Christ,

Then I sent him an email from Bob Bennett, Accounts Manager.

Pastor Akre,
I believe my colleague Bruce has responded to you on this matter.
I feel I can add to the discussion.
We are unable to make any payment without receiving the photographs as promised. Our purchasing policy is clear – and we are unable to breach it in any matter – though we wish to see this problem resolved speedily.
We can, if you choose to do so, pay an increased amount on the final invoice. Please feel free to fold the costs of your legal problems into your final costs – which will be met the moment we receive the commissioned work.
We are happy to bring a choir of 20 members of your church to our launch of the calendar. We would see this as a valuable chance to continue partnering in this ministry. We would also like to make sure that any of your models – the people used in the calendar – are amongst those invited.
The final decision about how many people we bring rests on the photos submitted and their use. If you delay further we will be forced to use other people’s photographs in most of the slots we have allocated to your church. The number of people we are then prepared to bring to Australia will then have to shrink dramatically – and it may be that we only bring yourself and one or two others.
Please Brother Akre – this matter should be resolved urgently. Do all that is in your power to overcome this outrageous circumstance where the police are troubling a fellowship of believers.
We will pray for you, my brother, as the church prayed for the Apostle Peter when he was arrested in Acts 12.
In Christ,

Now I’m waiting for the photos.

Heresy from a scammer

Miss Zima Peters is in hospital dying of cancer. She urgently needs help getting her money out of the country and away from a corrupt government. She wants a Christian helper. That’s important to her.

I asked what her favourite bible verse was. She sent me the following heresy riddled statement of belief… I’m not sure I can deal with somebody who believes these things…

How to be saved?

Let’s go to first things first. (Acts 16:30 & 3 1). (And brought them out , and said, "Sir what must I do to be saved?") There is a jailer here and Paul & Silas is locked up in jail and after a miraculous thing has taken place the jailer came out and said "Sir, what must I do to be saved? (Acts 16:31) they said, ("Believe in the Lord Jesus Christ and thou shall be saved and thy house") Your whole house will be saved all of your children and all of your family will be saved. If you happen to be a one family head, if you are a mother or father and you have no husband or wife you are the head of your house. With your salvation, your family is also saved, that’s number one.

What MUST I Believe?

Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, that’s what he must believe, believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and thou shall be saved. One of the most critical points here is that the Apostle Paul did not tell this jailer to believe on God to be saved. Where salvation is concerned God is not a part,he does not play a part in your salvation. God played his part when he gave his only begotten son. (John 3: 1 6).

Clearly her understanding of the trinity is all wrong. I’ll fix that.

I have received your email.
I am worried about your doctrinal statement. I fear for your soul my sister. The father, son and holy spirit are one are they not? Your doctrine of salvation is wrong.
I will do my best to bring you to the country – but first I need another photo of you holding a sign with your favourite bible verse written on it.
I can not afford, in my position, to be caught up in a scam.
I will pray for you in the meantime. I am a renowned faith healer, perhaps you will be healed through the power of prayer.

Because this is ethically murky (and the person at the other end of the emails is no doubt lying about everything). I have prayed for whomever it may be. That they might truly understand the words they twist and use for the purposes of their crimes.


I mentioned the other day that I was going to pull the scambaiting posts off my main page. They were too long for anybody not interested in reading through pages and pages of my interactions with random Africans.

Well, today I did it – so from now on you can get your scam fix here – or subscribe to my scam posts here – for the time being these posts will still appear in my full RSS feed

You’ll see a link to the Scambaiting category in the far right column, and the headings of the last five posts to appear there.

To whet your appetite – here’s a wordle of all of Dr Paul’s correspondence to me…

Dr Paul – Resurrected

Yesterday’s Dr Paul post got me feeling a little bit nostalgic. I miss our late night phone calls. I decided to see if I could redeem our relationship – and pursue the conclusion of our transaction. I ate humble pie. I apologised.

Dr Paul,
I wonder if you have had a chance to reconsider this arrangement.
I would like you to consider continuing with this transaction under the terms dictated previously.
As a sign of good faith I will be transferring a portion of the payment to Emmanuel via Western Union when I receive your reply.

And he took the bait.


Thank you very much for your mail. how are you today my friend. my friend before you make my main to feel bad but now i no that you main have come down. so my friend since that time you fund is in airport waiting for you but because of the way you make my main fee bad make me that i did not contact you again. my friend that last time i try all i can do to see that i help you but you do want to understand me. but if you have come down just go and send it money today and get back to me fast so diplomat will live first tomorrow morning.

My friend as am sending you this mail all arrangement have make to deliver this fund to you this very week.  but friend just belive me that i will help you got you fund this week if you follow my word, but am happy now you main have come down because i did not like if am telling somebody truth it will hear me. so my friend please as you getting this mail now go and send this money fast. Am looking forward to hear a good new from you today.

Yours Friend

Dr Paul

Now, I’ve been doing a little bit of reading up on the whole scambaiting thing – Gilbert from scambuster419.co.uk – is the master. He has devised a number of ways to pay the scammers, without forking out any actual money. I decided to take this game to a new level… enter, the Western Union receipt.

Dear Dr Paul.
I went to the local Western Union agent to do the transfer – attached is a poorly scanned copy of the receipt. The post office I visited to conduct this transfer had very old equipment.
I will send you a better quality version when I can.
Good day sir.

Right. That’s official looking. I’ve paid my dues. It’s time for Dr Paul to come through with the goods.

Sadly, Western Union have an online facility for verifying the details of these things…


My friend i have big problem now in western union the paper you send to me for the payment ,the MTCN number is not ok. my friend please go back to western union now fast and go am collect the information again because this one you send to me the MTCN number have mistake.

my friend please try do it fast now am in western union waiting for you. so by tomorrow diplomat will start coming to deliver you fund to you. my friend as i want to western to pick up this money the western union the find this mistake. please as i told you go now and collect the correct information please. my friend please try do very thing fast now so i will run down to airport and give them this money.Am looking forward to hear from you now.

Yours Friend

Dr paul

His request came outside of office hours – how could I possibly acquiesce – besides, the details are right. I’m sure of it…

Dr Paul, 

I am sure the details are correct – I also had to give the clerk a security question – they said these are mandatory for transactions to your country.

The question – was "what’s your favourite bible verse" – the answer is Exodus 20:15.

I got into Western Union’s local agency prior to their closing for the day – that receipt is exactly what they provided me.

You may need to work this out with the clerk on your side.

This is when the phone calls started. I’m not ready to talk to him again just yet. I suspect he stole my money.


Thank you very much for your mail once again my good friend. my friend am not lair to you am telling you the truth please. my good friend i can collect this money and told you that i did not collect. my friend the code i try it by my hand in western union web site the code is not OK. my friend am please you to go back to that western union you send this money and please them to check it for you again so the will give you correct code please.

my friend since that time am standing in western union in fact not happy will them the time the check it and tell me the code is not correct. my friend let you main come down, try go now to western union send this and tell them to give you the correct code please. my friend since morning here am run round in airport to see that diplomat will move today. my friend i can lair to you am child of God. please take it easy very thing will being ok.

my friend please take my word i will not lair to you because i take you as my good friend. my friend how can i lair to my good friend i want to help.  my friend do it fast so i will take the payment to airport now.Am looking forward today

Yours Friend

Dr Paul

Indeed. Computers. Who can trust them. The Western Union system must be down… I have a few ideas of what might be causing the hold up (other than that I didn’t actually send any money of course…).

Perhaps the payment won’t clear for a day or two – I did pay by cheque. You might need to try again tomorrow or the next day. I will confirm that the details are correct – what number did you try?

They also said you’d have to go in person – not on the website – because you are in Ghana. There are special rules dictating transfers from Australia to some African nations.

That must surely be it…


Thank you once again my friend. my good friend since am in this office i never see this before.  my friend please have you contact  the western union where you send this money since this problem come out?

please my friend if you did not contact them please try contact them so very thing will be clear fast. my friend by now diplomat have to live Ghana today but because of this problem is in airport waiting for me to come back and do the payment before he live Ghana will this fund. my friend this is transfer control number:8561629001  i see in that paper you send to me. my friend i will never lair to you in my life.

my friend am Man of 56year , i have three sons so  for me to lair to you can not help me. so my friend take my word very thing will be nice. my friend since today am never have Rest because of you try help me as am helping you here. Am looking forward to hear from you today.

Yours Friend

Dr Paul

Hmm. He’s never seen this before. Well, it must be a Western Union problem. The scent of payment got him pretty excited. I missed 6 calls from him last night. So this morning I sent him these two emails.

Dr Paul, 

Has the money arrived? I trust that this has all been sorted overnight and we can now proceed with the transaction.

Let me know what must be done in order for the diplomat’s trip to be a success.

Dr Paul,

That number is definitely correct. I have spoken to the lady at Western Union here – she said there are some computer issues that have prevented the transaction being registered with the Internet service – and said you need to go into the Western Union branch nearest to you to claim the funds.
The funds have definitely been transferred and cleared.

They call him Dr Paul

It’s pretty lame when you have to reference a They Might Be Giants song to come up with a title… but what can you do. Two last phone calls from Dr Paul – more emails will be posted tomorrow.

Who wants to be a millionaire

I mentioned my impending economic influx the other day. I have, in the last three days – won a Chinese Lottery (courtesy of Toyota), been approached by a man from Ghana (who I’ve since spoken to on the phone a couple of times) to take care of some mysterious money, and been offered a share of $15 million from a merchant banker in the UK.

Good times.

I am determined to get my John 3:16 photo by any means – so I also created a new email account and went back to one of the scammers with an offer to take part in a global photography shoot for a Christian organisation.

Here’s what I sent to the British banker…

1st Email

Thankyou for your email dated Monday 29/06/2009.

Unfortunately, at this time, I am unable to help out with your transaction.

I am far too busy with my business to be able to help at this time.

I am busy with a major global contract – and you may actually be able to assist me. I have been contracted to find appropriate modelling talent from around the world to take part in a photo shoot for a major Christian coalition. The budget is large and models will be paid 10,000 GBP for the ongoing rights to the photos.

I am looking for people from countries around the world to participate – would you know any suitable talent in Scotland?

Please ask them to contact me directly. They do not have to be traditional "model" type people – we want, wherever possible, to feature normal people.
Please advise if you may know of anybody.


2nd Email

Hi Steven, I just wanted to touch base with you after the email I sent you a couple of days ago. As I mentioned, I am looking for people to appear in a photo shoot I am conducting around the globe. I may not have been completely clear with my instructions or details.

We want to produce a montage of images featuring faces of people from around the globe holding placards featuring popular bible verses. It doesn’t matter if you don’t believe the Bible – we just want a mix of nationalities and demographics.

We are paying 10,000 pounds to each model for the image rights and ongoing commercial reproduction of these images. If you are interested could you send a sample photo to this address including yourself holding such a placard.

Feel free to pass it on to your friends and family. We are looking for many models so your assistance would be appreciated. We would be happy to consider a finders fee.



I’ve engaged with correspondence with him from a new email account I set up for that very purpose. He has responded there, but not to my requests. Curious.

The Toyota deal comes with a free car – but I also have to set up a bank account in China – this will no doubt be where I have to fork out dollars.

The UN also contacted me about some sort of payment – but the account belonging to the UN staff member has since been closed. He did, however, ask me to contact a Reverend. So I did.

Dear Reverend Hedges,
Greetings in the name of the Lord.
Our friend Captain James Williams has contacted me regarding the release of funds owing in my name.
He has asked me to contact you with some odd details. I trust that you, as an ordained minister of the Lord, will be able to allay my concerns when it comes to the details requested.
Why do you require information about my home equity situation, why is a PO Box not acceptable? These seem like strange requests.
I am confident that representatives of the UN will always act in good faith.
I look forward to hearing from you so that I can conclude this transaction as soon as possible.
The money will be most welcome by the Christian charities I intend to support.
I trust, brother, that you will respond promptly.

I will share my adventures with my “phone-a-friend” – Dr Paul – upon their conclusion. I’ve wasted about 15 minutes of his time and hopefully cost him some telephone credit in the process. I have asked him to provide a John 3:16 photo.

But my friend Mr Chan has to provide something slightly different.

Thank you for your email. Things are much clearer now. I look forward to receiving the funds – what makes you think that having received the totality of the funds I will pay you your share?

That seems very trusting.

Do we need to enter some sort of contractual agreement to ensure I don’t keep all of it?

I would like to receive some sort of evidence that you are "on the level" – perhaps a photo of you holding a note to me would be appropriate, along with a copy of some identification. I believe this is the best way to approach "proof".

Two photos that corroborate your identity along with something that proves you are responding to my request (the note) seems like the easiest way to prove your identity.
It needs to be a photo that you won’t be able to find readily on the Internet. So the note should contain something that would only have been produced at my request.

I watched Transformers 2 last night. Perhaps you could hold a sign that says "Robot in Disguise".

I look forward to receiving your next correspondence. Please forward through the requirements for setting up an account with a private bank.

I’m hopeful the Transformers theme will be easier to accommodate for these unbelieving heathen.