If you’re a fan of Black Books – like me – you’ll no doubt be thrilled to know that Dylan Moran has a movie out fittingly called “A film with me in it“, because that is perhaps the only reason anybody is going to watch it. And I will. But I digress. Black Books has pretty much disabled any YouTube embedding of clips from the show – which is a shame. But one of my favourite moments from series one episode one is when Bernard turns his accounts into a “rather smart casual dinner jacket” – if you were a woman looking to date someone in a jacket like that you’d need a matching outfit. Like this one.

Author: Nathan Campbell
A rather smart casual dinner dress
Pop art
The latest in a string of retro remakes of popular culture “texts”… this time it’s CD covers getting the treatment – essentially being elevated to serious, high art… here’s a link to some others from Kottke.

Ode to Bach
Johann Sebastian Bach was pretty awesome. Awesome enough for me to own this shirt.

While I’ve always appreciated Bach for his robust theology and amazing musical ability – it was not until the weekend that I learned that Bach was a coffee snob. He wrote a cantata describing his love for the bean. The Coffee Cantata. Here’s a rough English translation of some of the lyrics:
Recitative Schlendrian
You wicked child, you disobedient girl, h! when will I get my way; give up coffee!Lieschen
Father, don’t be so severe! f I can’t drink my bowl of coffee three times daily, then in my torment I will shrivel up like a piece of roast goat.Aria Lieschen
Mm! how sweet the coffee tastes, more delicious than a thousand kisses, mellower than muscatel wine. Coffee, coffee I must have, and if someone wishes to give me a treat, ah, then pour me out some coffee!
The piece was a moral treatise on the place of coffee in daily life. The protagonists were a father and a recalcitrant coffee addicted daughter who would not forgo her daily java. The father demanded she do so lest she forfeit the right to marry and she relents… seemingly. Although in a sub clause of sorts she indicates she’ll only marry a fellow coffee snob – sage advice indeed.
The uplifting final movement brings the father, daughter and narrator together to sing a song expounding on the benefits of coffee and proclaiming it “natural”. Hurrah.
Here’s a performance from YouTube:
Universally speaking
Henry Petersen probably googles himself pretty religiously – so if you’re here, reading this Henry – thanks for the mangoes.
Henry Petersen is the promoter behind the “Fashion Bash” an event that sees young girls from Townsville fight it out on the catwalk for modeling supremacy every year – and an event that can now claim to have launched the career of the new “Miss Universe Australia” – Rachel Finch.
Henry apparently spotted her at the airport.
When you’re talking about shameless self promotion in Townsville, Henry Petersen takes the cake. He’s everywhere. He made national news for his “wife hunt” a few years back (his story is at the bottom of this link), he repays locally bestowed favours with fruit grown on his farm – and he relentlessly plugs his events with terribly worded emails. I’m sorry Henry. If you’re reading this. They truly are terrible. He once requested recognition at our tourism awards for his outstanding contribution – comparing himself to Peter Brock and Steve Irwin weeks after they died saying it was a shame accolades are so often dished out posthumously.
Well, now he’s a success again. In the news for all the right reasons. As a model scout. A teen model scout.
And Townsville is on the map. As a place capable of producing a Miss Universe Australia (MUA). Not sure if this little description of Townsville from the new MUA is productive or not as far as marketing northern Australia’s “largest city” goes…
Coming from such a small town it’s not only somewhere to grow up that’s naturally beautiful but you really learn the value of growing in that small community and you get a lot of support and love and you can take that in your heart and take that to a bigger city or move on with your life and your career and really make a change.
Yes, we’re all only here so that we can leave. Thanks Rachel.
Salt: of the earth
I’m writing an article for WebSALT – the online edition of the AFES magazine. The next edition is all about the environment.
My topic: “How should Christians relate to the green party in the political sphere?”
It’s a good question – and I’ve shared my own thoughts on the Greens – or at the very least the environmental lobby here in the past.
In the interest of objectivity – I’d be interested in hearing the thoughts of some others.
If your thoughts are good enough I may even include a quote in the piece.
If they’re not they’ll no doubt shape the final product anyway.
Self Help Books for Dummies – The Title and establishing credibility
Now that we have picked our topic, the next, equally important, step is to pick a catchy title for the book. There are several self-help brand names, and unless you have been specifically employed by those brands, it’s a good idea to steer clear of titles that end with the words “for dummies” or start with the words “an idiot’s guide to”. However, it may be a good idea to cater for the section of the market that these books ignore and launch your own “for geniuses” brand. Because lets face it, nobody really likes being called a dummy do they? And you don’t want to be a nobody now do you? Like any good title a little pun never goes astray. Catchiness is also important, but believe it or not, this doesn’t mean your title needs to be short and punchy. Think of the books you’ve seen at bookshops in the last year. Which books had the longest titles? That’s right, the self-help books. Titles need to grab attention. They need to speak to the potential reader on more than a superficial level. They need to make a connection with the average bookshop browser, a connection that says, “you really want to buy me.”
The three big rules for writing a successful title are:
1. Don’t insult your reader
2. Be as catchy as possible
3. Less is not necessarily more
So a good title for our book about getting into the fresh fruit juice industry might be – “The big squeeze – a genii’s guide to creating your very own fruit juice franchise”
Establishing Credibility
It’s important that a self-help author establishes their credentials early on in the piece. Self-help writing is one of the few times in life where having lots of letters after your name is actually an advantage. If you have no really fancy qualifications, don’t worry. There are a few really easy solutions. There are several online “universities” offering diplomas for just 12 easy payments of $39. If that is beyond your financial means or you just don’t have the four weeks to wait for them to mail your certificate there is still hope. Simply legally change your name from ‘Joe Smith’ to ‘Joe Smith (B. Fruit Juice Studies, hons, Dip Bus Man, OBE)’. It’s always nice to award yourself a couple of prestigious awards. While a knighthood may seem a little pretentious, an order of Australia or other fancy award looks impressive and nobody will really question its legitimacy. Now that you have your new identity and your credibility is established, it’s time to start writing.
A bunch of links – April 22, 2009
- How to make delicious coffee liqueur
- Apple prematurely announces billionth AppStore download…
- Apple Will Hit A Billion Apps At 1:24:06 AM PST On April 23 (As Of Right Now)
- The green Bible
- The Green Bible reviewed
- Amateur Snapper | 10 Top Photography Composition Rules
- What Was the Hipster?
- 50 Side Businesses You Can Start On Your Own
- Court turns down challenge to jury’s use of Bible
- Jay-Z vs. Radiohead
- 100+ FREE iPhone Applications you gotta have on your iPhone/iPod Touch
- Six Ways You Should Be Using Twitter (that Don’t Involve Breakfast) [Twitter]
- Spiegel: Ten Lessons from Great Christian Minds
- Menzies talks of Manly return
- The Gated Community Church
- [+2275] Movie Stars Who Die the Most
Interesting article about Hipsters. Do you know what a hipster is? No? Well, read this article.
Taking over the world geek style
Perhaps my series on taking over the World wasn’t comprehensive enough. Perhaps you’re looking to solve a more pressing and specific problem. Perhaps this book will help.

It deals with a number of tricky issues like:
- Brew your own beer
- Build a laser beam
- Clone your pet
- Exorcise demons
- Grasp the theory of relativity
- Kick ass with sweet martial-arts moves
- Master the Ocarina of Time
- Pimp your cubicle
- Quote He-Man and Che Guevara
- Unmask Linus Torvalds
- Write your name in Elvish
Gorilla marketing
Guerrilla marketing is all the rage. Sneaky. Subvertive. In your face and yet subtle at the same time. Gorilla marketing is another area all together – Cadbury tried it with their virally popular drumming gorilla – and who can forget Yogo (the chocolate yoghurt and its mascot Yogorilla).
Now, a health insurance company is in on the act. Gorillas don’t like eye contact. Apparently an escaped gorilla attacked a zoogoer for making too much eye contact recently. FBTO, this Dutch health insurance company responded by handing out these innovative zoogoing goggles. Found here.

Definitely, maybe
So, you can’t spell “definitely” – here’s a bookmark for you.
You can even buy a mug. Or a wide range of defiantly “definitely” merchandise.

Primal scream
243112609-1 is the world’s largest known prime number. Written down in full it’s 12,978,189 digits long. That would take a long time to read out, let alone scream. It would be much simpler to type it out. Maybe.
Reproduced in real life this number would stretch for up to 32km. Depending on the typeface. Different fonts apparently produce markedly different results.
Prime numbers are also, apparently, useful for things other than cryptography.
In case you’re wondering, prime numbers aren’t just the stuff of academic longhairs: like typefaces, they have interesting properties that make them strangely useful. The classical example comes from mechanical engineering, where two meshed gears will wear most evenly if each has a coprime number of teeth, since this evenly distributes the possible ways in which they interact (thereby minimizing the effects of any irregularities.) Some have suggested that 13- and 17-year cicadas each follow prime numbered life cycles in order to ensure that their populations compete as little as possible, coexisting only once every 221 years.
Bottomless glass… almost
Refilling your wine glass is tiresome – this is probably the reason so many lazy homeless people prefer their wine in a cask. This designer clearly got sick of the problem – and designed this wine glass with a built in storage tank.


