Category: Consciousness

Christmas Reading

This Christmas week is my traditional plough through tomes of fiction week – and this year hasn’t disappointed. Here are some of the books I’ve read this Christmas with quick reviews.

The Collaborator

This came with a money back guarantee from the publisher so I had high hopes. It also had “Puzo eat your heart out” written on the back cover. Mario Puzo wrote the Godfather – and the Godfather this aint.

The Godfather is an odd book that gets you cheering for the bad guys. The antiheroes. It’s like any autobiographical account of former Mafia members – somehow crime is glorified and we forget the untold damage organised crime causes. In my last year of uni I was determined to write a great gangster novel. I’ve read heaps of Mafia fiction and I scoured second hand bookshops for testimonies from famous gangsters. In all this reading I’ve never come across a crime family – real or imagined – as easy to loathe as the family at the heart of the Collaborator.

I won’t give it away, but I won’t be seeking my money back from the publisher. It was a pretty gripping story about a Camorra (they are to Naples what La Cosa Nostra are to Sicily) daughter who dobs in her depraved family an unleashes a chain of desperate actions from her family.

You can get it here from the Book Depository.

The Millenium Trilogy

Next, I took on the Swedish sensation that is Stieg Larsson’s Millenium Trilogy. There won’t be any more from Mr Larsson. He was killed in a car accident shortly after delivering all three manuscripts for his novels (currently taking the world by storm). Any books published posthumously generate a fair bit of media buzz – but these lived up to the hype.

Be warned though – they contain pretty graphic accounts of sexual assault, and a heady dose of Swedish sexual morality (that is to say no real morality). But on the whole the three books are unputdownable. I was completely antisocial for three days as I read the final two installments in the trilogy.

The synopsis: a Swedish investigative journalist teams up with an antisocial, but brilliant, computer hacker to solve mysterious disappearances, unravel conspiracies, uncover widespread corruption in the Swedish intelligence agencies, and avoid the clutches of spies, motorcycle gangs and the police.

Here are the links to the Book Depository entries (the last one is the hardback version):

Book One – The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo

Book Two – The Girl Who Played With Fire
Book Three – The Girl Who Kicked The Hornets’ Nest

Coming Up
Now I’m on to Ben Elton’s latest – Meltdown.

And then it will be Mark Kurlansky’s Basque History of the World for a non-fictional change.

And if I get through all of those it’ll be something from possibly my favourite action writers – the incredibly B-grade Barry Eisler.

5 things about being a Christmas baby

Unlike Jesus, I was actually born on the 25th of December. People often ask me what it’s like having a birthday on Christmas Day. I don’t really know any different – but this XKCD comic prompted a post of reflections of sharing my birthday celebrations with the king of the world.

  1. When I was still really excited by birthdays I felt pretty ripped off about not having a normal birthday. We used to celebrate my birthday a month early (but never celebrated Christmas early). As I grew older the date I celebrated my birthday moved closer and closer to the actual date. In the last couple of years I’ve managed to snag the morning or the afternoon of the 25th.
  2. The combo present never has the same ticket value as two individual presents for each occasion.
  3. Asking someone who celebrates a birthday on Christmas Day if they like their birthday is like asking them if the like their name – except that you can’t change your birthday by deed poll. Like I mentioned up there – I know no different.
  4. Christmas babies are spared the awkwardness of unreciprocated well wishing – when someone says “happy birthday” to me I can always respond “Merry Christmas”.
  5. By the age of five I had heard all the good jokes about sharing a birthday with Jesus. Unless you’ve got something truly original to contribute to the discussion when talking to a Christmas baby over the age of five it’s probably not worth it. Any laughs will be to spare your feelings.

How I write complaint letters

You may, if you’re a regular reader, be wondering what became of my complaints to Cadbury and Jetstar.

Well.

Cadbury sent me a voucher for $5 to spend on Turkish Delight and Jetstar sent me $100 to spend on my next flight.

This complaint letter thing is fun and rewarding.

Here are my six tips for writing a complaint letter that gets read…

  1. Establish a connection with the company – tell them that you’re familiar with the product you’re complaining about. Being a regular customer who is sold on the brand will give you credibility with the reader – and make them want to help you out.
  2. Find the right person to contact – for the Cadbury one I phoned Cadbury rather than using an anonymous web form, for the Jetstar one I emailed it directly to the Customer Service manager as well as posting it. The more senior the person you address the letter to the better.
  3. Give good details – tell the reader exactly what your experience was from start to finish. Set the scene. Help them to pinpoint the nature of your complaint.
  4. Use the right tone – be polite – don’t complain about rudeness by being rude. Try using humour – it’ll make your letter different to the hundreds of other letters they receive. Be memorable.
  5. Have a call to action – give the company some recourse – let them know what you expect in return for your letter. Do you want a reply detailing what went wrong and what they’ll do to fix it? Do you want a refund? You won’t get exactly what you want without asking for it.
  6. Be contactable – give good details for follow up – you won’t get free stuff if the company doesn’t know where to send things.

Those are the things I do – how ’bout you? What are your tips for writing complaint letters that bear fruit.

Resignation Limerick

I told my CEO verbally that I’d be leaving three weeks ago. Our policy requires that resignations be delivered in writing so today I wrote this resignation limerick…

It is with sadness and regret,

But conditions must be met,

And so now I resign,

In verse, and five lines.

But I won’t be leaving just yet.

It’s not as cool as these resignations… by cake, and by game… but I didn’t want a boring write by numbers kind of deal.

On Hiatus(es)

I don’t know what the plural form of “hiatus” is. But can I just say, for the record, that I don’t plan on going on a blog hiatus over the Christmas holidays like so many of you. In fact, I’ll probably blog more. Because I like blogging.

If you are one of those people taking a break from blogging – enjoy it – and send your readers my way for good clean holiday fun.

That is all.

Let’s not fly Jetstar

If you want to know how to complain to Jetstar (because their website doesn’t make it obvious) you need to mail your letter of complaint to:

Jetstar Customer Care
GPO Box 635
SUNSHINE VIC 3020

Jetstar’s customer care manager is currently Michael Mirabito.

Here’s the letter I am posting tomorrow.

Dear Jetstar,

Allow me to introduce myself. I am passenger number #Z4RC9S from JQ906 on Monday the 14th of December. You might recognise that date. It was the day your booking software crashed nationwide, causing delays of up to 90 minutes throughout your network.

I mention the date, and acknowledge the troubles your network experienced, because you might be tempted to use this circumstance as a mitigating factor with regards to my complaint. It is not an excuse, and I am not complaining about the lateness of my flights.

I have flown the competitive Townsville to Brisbane route a number of times over the last four years. On a number of these occasions I have flown with Jetstar. Many of my friends refuse to fly Jetstar. After yesterday I can understand why.

Let me tell you my story. I’ll narrate it like an objective observer in third person.

Passenger #Z4RC9S and his wife were in the car driving to the airport when they heard a radio report that Jetstar’s flights around Australia had been delayed because of a software malfunction. The passengers thought that this was completely understandable. Computers are unreliable. Airlines get delayed. This was not a major problem. An inconvenience yes. But worth complaining about? No.

The passengers entered the airport and approached the line for the check-in desk. They had not checked in online. Passenger #Z4RC9S is quite tall (around 195cm or 6’3’’ in the old measure). Passenger #Z4RC9S wanted to see if an exit row might be available. The unhelpful, rude, and abrupt lady manning the check in line informed Passenger #Z4RC9S that he and his wife must check in at the machine first. They had arrived 45 minutes before the original departure time for the flight. This was no problem. If it is the policy (which seems to contain inherent double handling and seems to waste more precious time on behalf of the passenger).

Here is another gripe – why are the queuing lanes kept unnecessarily and artificially long during off peak times when there is a gatekeeper ensuring that only passengers on particular flights are lining up. This is a waste of time.

The Passenger and his wife made their way to the counter to request an exit row. Where they met a second unhelpful, rude and abrupt Jetstar employee. This employee did not look up from her desk, did not acknowledge the request past a curt dismissal, and made no attempt at rudimentary customer service. When Passenger #Z4RC9S requested an exit row on the flight she informed him that there were none available. Without looking at the computer. Without even taking a moment to provide an iota of effort to meet the needs of the customer.

When the passengers entered the plane carrying their hand luggage (four bulky items and one purse) they were rudely informed that hand luggage policies dictate four items only. When did a small handbag become hand luggage? It is not overhead luggage. It is a purse. The information, at this stage of the journey, was entirely irrelevant and delivered in a sneering, and rude, manner.

When the passengers finally embarked and were seated in their seats – in row 15 (one seat behind the exit rows) and the doors were closing – they noticed five available exit seats (out of 12). Five out of twelve?

The unhelpful flight attendant then picked other passengers from the row behind the Passenger #Z4RC9S as if to add insult to injury.

I can understand that stress levels may have been high due to the delay – but it is on these occasions that your staff should be rising to new heights of customer service – not sinking to new lows. Every interaction we had with staff on that fateful morning was negative. This was poor beyond description.

Bad customer service will cost you customers in the long run.

I’ve introduced myself by my number because it’s clear that Jetstar’s customer service policy is to view travellers as cattle rather than as people. Perhaps, in order for my message to be clearer, I should refer to myself as $119. That’s what my flight cost. On a conservative estimate based on my flying patterns over the last three years, and assuming I live to the age of 80, the loss of my six potential flights with you per year at an average cost of $119, will cost you $39,000 directly. Double that because I’m married and fly with my wife. That’s $78,000 in lost bookings over my lifetime. Sure, you’ll find some other schmuck to fill my seat with… but the indirect impact has the potential to be far greater.

Let me give you a little more background about myself – and why you should care about me, and indeed about all of your passengers. I work in PR in the tourism industry – hosting travel writers and dealing daily with members of the media. We talk about airlines and horror stories all the time. But I am not special. One thing I know from my role in PR is that bad news travels fast. This is why you should care about your passengers.

I have 658 friends on Facebook. Many of them are journalists. Many of them travel regularly. Today, after yesterday’s experience, my status reads “will never fly Jetstar again”. I will also post this complaint letter on my blog. It’s not a big blog. But it gets between 500 and 600 unique visitors a week. It will no doubt get lots of hits from people searching for similar tales of airline woes in coming years. It will be a small black mark against your name in cyberspace – where there are many similar small black marks against your name. At some stage, Jetstar, you will need to do something about this.

Here’s the thing Jetstar – word of mouth matters. And because of my experience yesterday, and the shared experience of many other passengers, you are suffering. If I convince just fifteen friends and family members who fly as regularly as I do not to fly with you on the Brisbane to Townsville route (let alone all the other routes they might fly) the cost, using the same figures as above, will be over $1,000,000. Just because your staff are rudely incompetent.

This is clearly not an isolated incident – as I was writing this letter I read a story featured on the SMH website about poor customer service on the Sydney to Gold Coast route. This habitual interpersonal incompetence will cost you money.

Sure, you have cheap flights. You’ll always have that corner of the market. Those who can’t afford to be discerning. But you’ll never be the airline that has people saying “if I won the lotto tomorrow I’d still fly Jetstar”. The bottom of the market probably won’t grow. Especially with the economy improving.

Regards,

Nathan Campbell

Guilty pleasures

Some readers may know that I occasionally enjoy watching wrestling – especially with Tim.

I also enjoy a good tilt shift time lapse.

Here are these two interests combined at Hulk Hogan’s recent Australian tour.

Hulkamania from Keith Loutit on Vimeo.

Breakfast flowchart

If the question of what cereal to eat in the morning is something you can’t tackle without a decent breakfast – thus creating an infinite loop of hunger – then you need this great flowchart. It even takes into account the fact that Australians have a more limited range of cereals to choose from (and perhaps less inclination to make a choice).

The Links effect

It’s been a while since I last shared some significant link love. And I like doing these posts – it reminds me how much fun the blogosphere is…

I’m looking forward to working at a church that cares about the small things – like fonts – next year (not that our current one doesn’t – it’s just I don’t work for it). Simone is writing a new series of Sunday School material on 1-2 Kings.

Jeff’s sermon on evangelism prompted some interesting application of his application. He also posted on the gender pay issue that cropped up in the comments of Benny’s last (or second last) post.

Ali noticed that conversation starter cards are springing up everywhere.

Kutz designed a cool shirt and perhaps started a sub-movement.

Ben created a word game.

Tim posted some good analysis of the World Cup bid (and other Football goings on) via YouTube – Play Fair,
NIKE: TAKE IT TO THE NEXT LEVEL (high quailty), Balanced view of the world cup

Stephy at Stuff Christian Culture likes covered the wardrobe choices of “relevant” preachers in the US. But before that she took on two of my favourites – prayer requests as gossip and oversharing via prayer request. What’s worse than oversharing via prayer request is oversharing via prayer request on Facebook.

Lee who has turned into a regular comment in these parts has a couple of blogs – I guiltily enjoy Lemon Harrangue Pie more than the serious one about being a Contemporary Calvinist. But both are good stuff and I commend them to you.

Dave Miers has a great list of books people should read in their first year out of highschool – at the very least you could put them on your holiness shelf.

Andrew managed to pick a fight with some atheists on Tumblr. Having first picked one on Twitter.

Stuss reviewed Australia. She didn’t like it. I haven’t seen it. I don’t plan to. It’s a bit like the Passion. I know all the good bits so a movie is only going to cheapen the experience.

Conference blogging was all the rage – Izaac shared some thoughts on NTE talks.

Over at Christian Reflections Mikey liveblogged the Geneva Push’s In the Chute conference. There were lots of posts. Here were 24 I enjoyed.

This is by no means an exhaustive list of the good stuff around the blogosphere but it has, for now, exhausted me.

If you’ve got something you wrote or read that is worth sharing – put it in the comments for all to see.

Hottest 100: Things about Townsville

Now that I’ve officially told work I’m leaving I’m thinking about all the things I’ll be able to post here that I couldn’t before.

I’ve been mindful of the fact that as an employee of my organisation it’s a little bit dodgy for me to be promoting one business at the expense of another. That’s not the done thing around these parts. But once my official duties are over I will be able to share my expert opinion on the best things about Townsville. Thanks to my awesome job I’ve done most of the cool stuff there is to do here – from visiting tropical islands to flying in a Tiger Moth, and I’ve eaten meals and sampled coffee from just about every restaurant and cafe in town.

I’m going to try to write up a list of my 100 favourite things from the last four years. I’m not going to include people (so there’ll be no soppy references to Robyn), just places and experiences.

If you are from Townsville, or have been to Townsville, or have lived in Townsville and you have a suggestion for this list – put it in the comments.

This should be fun.

Raising dough

If you’re here for a post on breadmaking you’re in the wrong place. Robyn might do that later. The only thing I use a breadmaker for is roasting coffee… which tangentially leads into the point of this post.

Today is Robyn’s last day of teaching. Next month I’m giving up my job. We’re going to be poor uni students again which means stepping out of DINK time (double income no kids) into the great unknown of government supported poverty. We’re trying to come up with ways to earn money on the side. I am seriously investigating the possibility of upgrading my roasting capacity and flogging of roasted coffee to friends in Brisbane – if you’re interested in cheap, but quality, coffee beans – let me know.

Anyway, I’ve just read a couple of stories that had great ways to save (or make) money that I thought I’d share with you.

Frequent Flier programs are pretty much a license to print money for some US residents. They’ve cottoned on to this great scheme in courtesy of the Federal Mint. Now, this won’t work in Australia – I bought a $1 coin at our Mint for $2 when I was a young lad… I’m not sure what they cost now…

Here’s the scheme that has been cooked up in the states

At least several hundred mile-junkies discovered that a free shipping offer on presidential and Native American $1 coins, sold at face value by the U.S. Mint, amounted to printing free frequent-flier miles. Mileage lovers ordered more than $1 million in coins until the Mint started identifying them and cutting them off.

Coin buyers charged the purchases, sold in boxes of 250 coins, to a credit card that offers frequent-flier mile awards, then took the shipments straight to the bank. They then used the coins they deposited to pay their credit-card bills. Their only cost: the car trip to make the deposit.

Brilliant.

BoingBoing reports on a guy who makes $45,000 a year cashing in discarded betting slips that are actually winners.

Mr. Leonardo, who is married with two teenagers, is hardly living on the fringes. He said that stooping brings him $100 to $300 a day, and more than $45,000 a year. Last month, he cashed in a winning ticket from bets made on races at Santa Anita Park in Arcadia, Calif., for $8,040. His largest purse came in 2006, when he received $9,500 from a Pick 4 wager (choosing the winners of four consecutive races) at Retama Park Race Track in Selma, Tex.

Got any cool money making schemes for Bible College students? Share them in the comments…

Did somebody say “free chocolate”

I received a reply today. From Cadbury.

Dear Mr Campbell,

Thank you

We have received your email and will be in touch via the post.

Kind regards
CADBURY PTY LTD

What’s the opposite of serendipity?

10 things Obama can learn from Woods. Well done Golf Digest.

This is about as funny as Dream Theater’s pulled September 11 album cover. A triumph of coincidentally bad timing.

More on appropriate iPhone use

I meant to post this photo with the iPhone flowchart I posted this morning.

Clearly iPhones are designed to be used when you’re on holiday in Townsville…

They’re all playing LineUp.

On the Passive Aggressive Link comment

Sometimes my blogging friends post things that I’ve posted months before as though they’re original, or exciting.

This hurts my precious blog ego. Until I remember that I post so much stuff that sometimes I forget it, and I don’t read 90% of other people’s posts fully (except for you, dear reader).

To draw their attention to the fact that their post is old news I post a nice, agreeable comment. Including a link to my take on the post from months back.

It’ll read something like this…

“Oh yeah, I totally agree, especially in this post I wrote about the same thing four months ago”…

This is the ultimate passive aggressive blogging action. It uses one of Simone’s blog love languages (the comment) to gently rebuke the recalcitrant reader while simultaneously asserting one’s own superiority.

I will try to stop this. My last passive aggressive link comment was last week. I think I’m doing better already.