Tag: Christianity

Rugby cuts off Grothe

If I had written the HTML programming language it would have included a “rant” tagline.

Robyn won’t like this post. For all her great qualities she is, somewhat unfortunately, a fan of Rugby Union. Many fans of Rugby Union will tell you that it is the game they play in heaven – and if that’s the case I’d seriously think about trading in Christianity for Buddhism (ok, well I wouldn’t really do that it was more a piece of poetic license). They’ll argue that “at its best” it’s a flowing game full of skilled attacking forays and deft passing, and that it’s driven by tactics and nuance… Rugby, in my experience, is played “at its best” about once every four years, in the early rounds of the world cup when professional teams put the minnows to the sword. Rugby is typically a slow game marred by stoppages, incessant scrums, tiresome rucking and mauling, and ridiculous nonsensical penalties. My main gripe with Rugby stems not from the superiority complex it suffers from, my problem is their inability to develop talent capable of playing at the highest level. Rugby fans will cite the crowds at Super 14 games and test matches as evidence that it’s a popular game – television ratings tell another story. Rugby is unwatchable for the layperson and numbers don’t lie – Rugby League continues to be the most successful televised sport in New South Wales and Queensland. Club rugby can not hope to compete with club League – so they try to compare apples and oranges by taking a representative competition (Super 14) and comparing it with a national club competition – of course a NSW team should pack out a stadium… but they should also be able to win the odd game or two. Rugby Union likes to sign league players as PR stunts. These players will inevitably be picked for state teams at the expense of properly trained junior rugby union stars – and will possibly be contractually guaranteed the opportunity to play for Australia. The list of League to Union converts is a long one, the list of success stories is markedly shorter. From a list including talented athletes Mat Rogers, Lote Tuquiri, Wendell Sailor, Brad Thorn, Andrew Walker, Clinton Shifcofske – only Tuqiri is still playing international rugby – and this isn’t due to a lack of quality on the field. Rogers, Thorn and Walker got sick of union and went back to league – Walker and Sailor were both busted for cocaine use. Shifcofske should never ever play for Australia (he was once a drug cheat too – which suggests Union isn’t picky when it comes to their desperation to get one up on their league counterparts). Tuquiri recently re-signed with the Waratahs in a massive deal, and they followed that signing with a million dollar deal to lure Timana Tahu across the chasm. League players (particularly backs) get notoriously bored in the 15 man code so they have to pay them heaps more to keep them. Paying league players this much to cross over is a foolish ploy to win a battle that rugby can not afford to be engaged in, and one that they’ll never win. Their game is too inaccessible to people not brought up on a staple diet of union. Those in the know (ie economist Michael Pascoe) suggest the ARU is in danger of sending itself broke, particularly with gate receipts plummeting as Australian teams fail and falter on the field. Eric Grothe Jr, son of the “Guru” has had an interestingly patchy league career including years in the “wilderness” spent “discovering” himself and playing guitar. He’s big and mobile and he’s a gifted athlete – but the ARU has decided enough is enough and they’re going to invest their money in development – hopefuly that comes too late and union dies the slow and painful death it deserves.

Fraud Squad member needed

My business transaction with Edward NKanga is entering the final stages. I’ve decided that I’m going to need to be investigated for fraud – then sent to jail for a lengthy prison term. I need someone who is willing to pose as the fraud squad – potentially requiring a new email address to be set up using hotmail or gmail. If you feel suitably creative let me know and I’ll collaborate with you to bring Tobias Walther Schranner to justice, along with his nefarious companion Mr E NKanga. I may also have a Damascus road moment and tell Edward that I’ve converted to Christianity and no longer feel prepared to go through with this deception – I could tell him that I’m praying for his soul.

Without wishing to bore you too much with lengthy quotes from emails, here are some of the highlights from the last two emails I received, and my responses:

Thank you very much for your response.I do not mind a mobile phone.I will be
vetry happy to get the details from you regarding the investment plans you have
for this funds. I want you to also understand that the most pressing thing at the moment is to get the funds transfered into any of your nominated bank account.I am presently working on procuring the legal document that will present you as the legal beneficiary to this funds.By God’s grace this document will be ready before the end of today.I want you to know that the charges involved in procuring this document will be taken care by me but please note that once i get this documents i will send it to you along with the full contact information of the bank. Further note that once i do this i will be counting on you to seal this transaction because from my calculation this funds should be in your account within seven bank days of you contacting the bank.Before i forget my full name is Edward
Nkanga,i am married with four lovely daugthers.I am presently living in
rue 22 by 39 medina dakar senegal.I was born on july 8th 1964.I will get
back to you with further details and instructions.
Remain
blessed,
Edward Nkanga


He followed that email up with the bank details as promised – and a form letter that I could fill in to send to the bank making my claim.

Dear Tobias,

I am very pleased to inform you that i have been able to procure the legal document which will present you as the next of kin to Adreas Schranner.This document is attached to this mail for your perusal.I want you to now proceed and contact the bank and request for the immediate transfer of your inheritance to your nominated bank account.Below is the full contact information of the bank:

National Credit Services
Tel: +44 704 010 8962
Tel: +44 795 525 8663
Fax: +44 709 287 5848
Email:thomas.wood.ncs@hotmail.com
Contact: Mr Thomas Wood, Director of operation

I complied to his request, adding a lengthy preamble to the letter and making a couple of changes in order to keep any real information out of the correspondence.

Mr Thomas Wood,

I have recently been contacted by a Mr E Nkanga, former assistant to my late cousin Mr Andreas Schranner. He informed me of the untimely passing of my cousin in an accident some years ago. I was unaware of the untimely demise of my relative until very recently. I have spent many years living in isolated wilderness penning my memoirs which I believe contain a story that must be told to the world. The story of my life is an interesting one, and a story which I will share in part with you.
I was born in an Australian grotto called Gundegai, a poverty stricken village famous for its love of canines. Dogs are revered as Gods in this town and villagers often go without food so that the town’s dog population remains well fed and honoured. You may be familiar with the nursery rhyme “This old man” in which Nick Nack Paddy Whack gives a dog a bone before rolling home. This rhyme tells the story of my uncle Nick, (Andreas’ father) who quite literally had to roll home after a dog consumed his leg while he stood – giving him no leg to stand on. This is
just an interesting extract from my memoirs and one that serves to show the closeness of my relationship with my departed cousin.
I no longer choose to conduct my business by pen and paper, instead relying solely on digital technology. I have attached an electronically verified version of my signature which I assure you is the normal business practice within my industry.
I send this email from my off shore assistant’s (Mr Nathan Campbell) account as I do not want the tax authorities to discover the extent of my inheritance until I declare it. Government corruption makes doing business in my country a double edged sword – there are benefits, and problems – for those wishing to work as
entrepreneurs. However, all this is as we say, by the by.


The lengthy cover letter followed an included a section for my details at the bottom:

FULL NAME:Tobias Walther Schraenner
ADDRESS:1 Wadinga Ct
Coonabarabran
TEL NO:+61 132 221
FAX NO: n/a
PROFESSION: Venture Capitalist
DATE
OF BIRTH: 29 Feb 1976
SEX: Not till marriage
MARITAL STATUS: Unmarried
DATE: 12 Feb 2007
SIGNATURE:
TWSfile101.jpg

And to conclude I sent a follow up email to Edward (I should point out that I have never given him my mobile number and I expect him to follow that up – I’ll say the email was obviously lost in the internet’s black hole or something.

Edward,

As you will see I have contacted the bank – and included you in a blind carbon copy – unfortunately due to my accounting procedures I have had to request a bank cheque, I hope this causes you no further inconvenience. I can not have the amount in question appear in my account without going through necessary procedures for taxation purposes.

Edward, I thank you for your partnership in this deal and look forward to a continued arrangement. I am a little worried about the financial institution we are dealing with because I note that the banker in question uses a hotmail account. I have grave concerns that we are both set to be seriously taken to the cleaners (a metaphor for thievery in my country). I do trust that you have conducted necessary enquiries into this situation. Please contact me on the mobile number previously provided to alay my concerns.
Edward, your family sounds happy and lovely, I wish you all the best in your future and pray that your daughters find husbands who will love the lord and provide for them with the same grace and ability that you yourself have.

Senegal is a nation dear to my heart. Your national football team brings me great joy – and also did during the World Cup. I must ask, who is your favourite player? For me it is Pappa Babba “Smurf” Diop. He is a goal scoring wunderkid who will bring great glory to your marvellous nation.

I wait with baited breath for further correspondence from yourself addressing these questions and concerns.

Tobias

Warning: Contents may offend

This is a very interesting article – it would be interesting to see if anyone would be willing to give up some farm paddocks to do a 2 ways to live presentation in crop circles.

Hello chaps

“…this is our school let love abide here, love of God, love of mankind, and love of one another.” – School prayer, Maclean Primary School (possibly paraphrased)

Religion in government run schools is a flashpoint subject. There’s nothing that will get the blood boiling for your average atheist than to have religion try to eke its way in to the school curriculum. The issue has been hotly debated in the US for years and the debate has hit our shores with the PM’s decision to fund chaplains in State Schools. The issue has been in the peripherals for a long time – last year it was the proposal to teach intelligent design in the science room – France had an impassioned debate over the rights of students to wear religious clothing to school – the secular state/church relationship is peculiar to say the least.

Surprisingly for some, the chaplaincy scheme is almost as unpopular with Christians as it is with Joe Blow atheist, albeit for different reasons. Whatever your philosophical position on the matter – Australia is a country that celebrates religious freedom – and encourages diversity of beliefs – as a result of the s116 of the constitution (which rules out an official state church). This freedom is a result of the historical hard work of many Christian men and women who staunchly fought for that right – along with fighting for other notable causes such as equal rights for women and aboriginals, the labor union movement, the founding of the Liberal party etc… where there is political or social progress in our history there’s generally been a Christian involved (some would describe the advent of secular humanism and other small l liberal advents as progress – I would argue that they’re generally an example of the use of freedoms won earlier or blatant plagiarism of ideals from historical groups). There is a strong social and historical argument for the teaching of Christianity in schools – but the context it’s taught in is open for argument – should Christianity enjoy a protected position as the religion of choice taught in RE? Should Christians be given special preference in these newly formed government funded chaplaincy positions? The philosophical answer to both those questions is probably not – if we’re upholding a society where people are free to believe whatever they want (which is as important for Christians as it is for Muslims, atheists, Jews and Mormons) we possibly need to provide equal access to all the options (an all or nothing approach of sorts).

I’ve been having some conversations with Mr Benny lately on the issue – below are some extracts from the emails we’ve sent back and forth…

“I hate school prayer.” – Ben

So do I, but for theological reasons – I don’t mind the idea of a Christian praying for the school every day – that’s great – but forcing people to pray to a God they don’t believe in is ridiculous and should be offensive to all Christians because it belittles the idea of God.

“I’m happy to have the history of religion and umm i lack the ability to express this part – i think it’s perfectly good to have the “stories” (sorry i know that’s a real bad word I just can’t think of the right one) of religion to be taught in the same way as science, maths, Shakespeare etc. My concerns stem from the fact legislation is being brought in and it is moving towards what I just mentioned, but the ideals are then being raped by religious zealots intent on promoting religion in schools. $20000 goes to a school, the discretion on who to employ is falling within the schools, you have some religious people in positions of authority, a religious chaplain is employed, and suddenly you have $20000 of tax payer’s money to have a preacher in a school.” – Ben

This argument is interesting but somewhat contradictory. Who is going to get to teach the religious subjects? Suggesting an atheist teach religion is like suggesting a drama teacher teach physics because they have some grasp of the concepts involved but no understanding. A religious teacher should be just as free to promote religion as an English teacher is to promote the beauty of the English language – or a science teacher is to promote the complexity of a plant. That’s what education is – it’s being presented with a series of views and deciding which ones appeal. Because of the “wonderful” nature of postmodernism in education there’s no truth that can be taught as an absolute anymore anyway so children aren’t being forced to believe anything. I can deny gravity if I can justify it. The anti RE argument is also completely flawed – RE in state schools is an opt out system where parents who feel strongly enough can pull their children out of a class – in an interesting side note we don’t have opt out science, or opt out maths so clearly there’s already a distinction between the subjects. What we do have is an opening for anyone of any religious persuasion to come in and teach RE – in my primary school the JWs had their own religion classes – and I can only assume if a Muslim wanted to teach Islamic RE classes during that timeslot that would be a possibility under the current legislation.

The role of the counsellor/chaplain needs to be clearly defined – and Christians are just as concerned about the implications of this legislation as everyone else – nobody wants crazy people running around on school grounds converting kids to an obscure cult. And the last thing Christians want is for a government driven by a politically correct agenda to water down the gospel into a more palatable mix of peace and love – without all the nasty bits.

“I swear, if there are reports of school chaplains directing students to prayer and such if they are approached for counselling then I will go and punch them in the face myself (that’s just student X, not a student they have a history with and know is of their religious persuasion).” – Ben

What guidance can a guidance counsellor offer – when is a student allowed to leave school grounds to seek counselling from a church – a large number of community based, government endorsed counselling services (ie the Salvation Army) are church based anyway so you’re not solving whatever your perceived problem is by keeping counsellors out of school – unless your problem is that it shouldn’t be happening at school because of your political ideology – and that’s a rabid breakdown in rationality if the ideal is more important than the people impacted. People will not be forced to use these counsellors – they’re there for those who will – and in that case it’ll be $20,000 well spent – the fact is that $20,000 will only pay about a half of a person and the other half will come from the combined churches in an area – so the federal funding is probably ensuring chaplains have an obligation to act as counsellors rather than religious salespeople.

And therein lies the concern for Christians – in paying the chaplain, the government then essentially pays to have some control over their message/methodology – which is a breakdown in the separation of church and state in the other direction – ie the state should not dictate the practices of a church. Most Evangelical Christians feel strongly about the notion of the gospel being the only way to God – any watering down of this message fails to serve their purposes as much as it would be a failing if the education system was to employ a “preacher.”

I read Premier Beattie’s plea for churches to pray for rain with interest – particularly the paragraph referring to members of other faiths as “brothers and sisters” who should be encouraged to pray to their Gods – which God will get the credit now if it rains? Seems pretty confusing to me – not to mention the politically correct agenda being pushed and signed onto by the heads of Queensland’s major Christian churches… shame, shame, shame I say.

for those of you who care…

…there are now links to my 1 Peter studies on in the column thing on the right of the page.

At this point I would compliment those observent (or observative – it should be a word shouldn’t it Simon (I believe I had a similar conversation with RJB or CB on this topic as well. )) enough to notice.

Re: RE

Mmm, minimalism is the new black. I was tossing up using the word antidisestablishmentarianism in today’s heading – and it would have been in context too.

I noticed Dan posted some stuff on the RE debate the other day. Matt spends his time posting on Sweden’s dominance of the Ice Hockey world and his lack of success with getting attractive girls to talk to (or marry) him. What’s wrong with all the attractive girls out there?

There’s been a lot of stuff in the newspapers lately talking about a proposal to open up Religious Education in schools to any group who wish to be involved. The move is being driven by a group of secular humanists with heavily chipped shoulders. First of all, before I rant about why it’s such a stupid argument to be having, I’d like to ask the humanists why they don’t care about the opinions and emotional security of all the Christians they attack with their tolerant and open stance? Then I’d like to ask them what hurt they’ve experienced at the hands of genuine Christians. If you’re smart enough to kick up a stink like they are – you’re smart enough to do some research into the teachings of Christianity – any problems they have are more likely to be with the religious institution than with Christianity itself. They took another step in their battle to strike Christianity with the recent moves to remove Gideons bibles from hospitals because they might carry diseases or something. I think that pretty much sums up their position – they believe Christianity is a disease of the mind.

Now. My rant about why Christian education should be taught in schools begins here. Constitutionally Australia has no official religion (I think it’s article 16, but I’m pulling that out of nowhere so chances are I’m actually wrong – I could look it up but I can’t be bothered). The Westminster political system is built on the philosophy of the separation of powers (the people who make laws shouldn’t be the ones to enforce them because this would invariably lead to corruption). So our government is divided into the legislative, the judicial and the executive arms (the parliament, the court, the Queen (Governer General)). Because the under riding theory is that power ultimately corrupts the more separations we can create the better – so we have the upper and lower houses and federal, state, and local governments. Historically the church played a major, some would say overbearing, role in politics. This caused problems where one church group would try to kill another church group (like the Crusades or inquisitions or the protestant reformation or the current feud between the Bappos and Pressies). Political movers and shakers decided the church should be stripped of its influential position within the decision making process. In a democracy this makes sense – one interest group or belief system can’t philosophically force their will on another (unless they’re the majority). I’m all for the separation of powers and I’m all for the separation of church and state. What I’m not for is the rewriting of Australia’s history on a postmodern whim. If their argument was simply that public schools shouldn’t be using public funding to turn children into Christians that might have some merit. But it’s not. It’s stupid. Christianity, regardless of its veracity, plays a huge role in shaping our culture. It deserves a place in the educational spectrum (or curriculum) on that basis alone. One of the first things you’re taught when you study law – and I know this because I listened in first year – is that our legal system is based on a Judea-Christian model. Both our major political parties have historical ties to the church. Christian men and women played a huge part in bringing our society to the point its at today and these secular humanists want to spit on that legacy. The only reason they can legitimately take the stance they are today is because of the system they operate in – because it was created by Christians. Try going to a system based on Sharia law and see how far your secular humanism gets you. Some people are stupid.