Tag: michelle robert

All good things…

Sadly it appears the game is up. Michel Robert is not playing my games any longer. Or so it would seem.

He sent me an obscure email – with the subject line YES A JOKER.

I told him in no uncertain terms that I was not. And he responded:

“WHERE ARE YOU NOW?. I WAS EXPECTING TO RECEIVE THE MONEY SO I CAN GET THE DOCUMENTS”

I responded, unwilling to give up, requesting the photo…

How can I send you the money?

I need your photo.

Get back to me with the details for the transfer and the photo as soon
as possible.

He wasn’t receptive to my response…

“NO THE LAWYER WANT ME TO COME TO HIS OFFICE WITH THE MONEY AND HE SAID HE WILL CONTACT YOU AS SOON AS HE GOT THOSE DOCUMENTS READY”

I smelled a rat. Perhaps his uncles had caught up with him. I had to be sure…

You need to get me the photo. As soon as possible. And I will send you the money – you are acting strangely. Prove to me that you are for real. I have $10,000 to wire you to get you out of the country and into safety. BUT I MUST SEE THAT YOU ARE OK. That your uncles haven’t taken over your account. AND THAT YOU ARE PREPARED TO FOLLOW MY INSTRUCTIONS.

His response took me by surprise…

I TOLD YOU YESTERDAY TO SEND ME THE MONEY THROUGH WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER ON MY NAME AND ADDRESS

MICHEL ROBERT
12 BP 4010 ABIDJAN 12
ABIDJAN
COTE D’IVOIRE
WEST AFRICA.

SEND ME THE TRANSFER CONTROL NUMBER AS SOON AS YOU SEND THE MONEY.

MICHEL.

He had done no such thing. So I called him out on this lie…

“No you didn’t. I’ve checked my emails – I have no record of that request.

I don’t think you are Michel.

I think you are his uncles – and I think you’ve killed him. I am going
to go to the police without proof that you are really Michel. I
understand you are under stress and might not be keeping track of the
emails you send.

I will send you 10,000 when I get the photo. Not before. Otherwise I
will go to the police, and the lawyer, and the security company and
inform them that Michel Robert has been murdered by his uncles. Run
away uncles. While you have the chance.

I will come for you – you have killed my Michel.”

And he brushed me off…

” which instruction do you want me to follow?. I told you how important it is for me to leave here but you are asking me to send you photo. in the first place, i have started wondering if you are telling me the truth because it seems you are lying to me or you may want to play with me. i do not have money to snap the picture and dont ever ask me to send you the picture again because i have no means to snap the photo. if you dont want to help me, please go with you $10,000 and i dont need it. not intrested in your games”

May 30, 2009

Keeping the dream alive

Those of you worried about my safety while I play with the heart and mind of a vulnerable young man in Cote D’Ivoire who is trying to steal all my money should take some solace from this website… or this one…

This is my goal people. To one day receive a larger than life Commodore 64 Keyboard in the mail. In this case I’ll settle for a John 3:16 photo and a good chance to reprimand the toerag for trying to steal my money (while also coming clean that I’m not a 57 year old businessman)… that seems the ethically appropriate thing to do.

My African friend has withdrawn a little since I told him that I would have difficulty raising funds without his cooperation. But I’ll keep you posted.

May 29, 2009

Choose your own adventure

This whole scambaiting thing is amusing – but I’d like to throw it open to the rest of you for some input.

This whole thing feels a bit like a Choose Your Own Adventure book – I used to skip to the end, find the ending I wanted, and work my way backwards – but that’s cheating.

I have a few ideas for how I can try to go about this business (once I get my John 3:16 picture) – and I’d live votes from you, my audience, and perhaps suggestions… here are my options.

a) Get indignant with Michel and point out that his actions are not consistent with his doctrine.
b) Try to engage further in a theological discussion on baptism – pointing out that baptism does not in fact save Michel, only repentance and trusting in Jesus will do that – and repentance does not look like swindling foreigners out of their money.
c) Continue stringing Michel along for as long as possible asking outrageous questions in the hope he’ll continue to provide comedic gold.
d) Try to turn the owner of the Secure Deposit Company corrupt – Michel insisted I not mention the money hidden in his secure deposit box – perhaps I should.
e) Tell the lawyer I think Michel is trying to swindle me and ask for advice about how to end the transaction.
f) Actually pay the money – or pretend to, and have it stolen by pirates…
g) Slowly but surely catch on that this is a scam and act hurt that Michel has betrayed his “daddy Campbell”…

Any other ideas? Any other questions you’d like Michel to answer?

May 28, 2009

Rubber and roads

There comes a time in any transaction where you come across “the rub” – the point of friction – the place where everything starts to make sense. Where you have to put up, or shut up. I plan to do neither. Michel has other plans. Lets see who wins out…

“Dearest Daddy Campbell,

Yes I am baptised so my sin are been forgiven. Sir, the lawyer called me now that he has verified the cost of the legal documents needed to change of ownership of the consignment in your name. The lawyer said that they required us to pay a total of €2500 before the legal documents can be issued in your name as my apointed foreign trustee. Please I do not have the money and it becoming source of my worries. please I am pleading to you to help me pay the money to the lawyer so that the lawyer will get the documents today and the security company will process the change of ownership by tomorrow and the consignment will released immediately. 

Michel”

I do plan to point out the flaw in Michel’s hyper-baptist position – but first I have to weasel out of paying him his €2500…

That is a lot of money Michel. Enough for me to be a little worried. It will take me some time to gather that – the exchange rate between our countries currency and British Pound is not so good.

I am glad to hear you are baptised – it comforts me that should things go wrong you will be safe in the Heavenly Father’s arms. We will meet in heaven if not here on earth…

I will do my best to secure the money – it is complex because my accountant watches every penny. I will need to take on a degree of risk. You promised me this would not be a risky transaction.

I really do need some sign of good faith – proof that you are not trying to swindle me. I feel compelled to trust you. I really do. But I need to know that the face at the other side of the camera is a trustworthy one – and that you are a real person. I really must insist that you provide that photo with the John 3:16 sign – how else will I know that you are who you say you are if you can not provide me with this.

Yours in Christ.
J

May 28, 2009

The three esthes…

Are of course “Security, Security, Security…”, which takes on new meaning when you’re dealing with dangerous international pirates. 

The security company has contacted me to help facilitate the transfer of the safety deposit box (stashed with secret cash) into my possession. Their email is all in caps – and it pretty much makes your eyes bleed. It started like this:

“ATTN: MR. JONATHAN CAMPBELL,

WE ARE IN RECEIPT OF THE INFORMATION FORWARDED TO US IN RESPECT TO THE RELEASE AND DELIVERY OF A DEPOSIT MADE BY MR BENJAMIN ROBERT WITH REFERENCE NUMBER (ASV/XXX/ZVXW/AAM56KN) TO YOU AS THE APPOINTED RECEIVER AS CONTAINED IN THE RELEASE APPLICATION FORM SUBMITTED BY MICHEL ROBERT (MR)..

WE HAD ALSO RECEIVED AN APPLICATION RELEASE FORM FROM MICHEL ROBERT (MR)TOO IN REGARDS TO YOUR LETTER AS MENTIONED ABOVE.WE ARE HONOURED TO INFORM YOU THAT THIS DEPOSIT IS INTACT AND SAFE IN OUR SECURITY COMPANY AND READY FOR FURTHER DELIVERY ACTIONS .

WE ARE AWARE OF THE QUEST TO DELIVER THE CONSIGNMENT TO YOUR RESIDENT ADDRESS AND THUS IT IS REQUIRED BY LAW TO SATISFY THE FOLLOWING REQUIREMENTS TO LEGALLY AUTHORISE THE RELEASE OF THIS DEPOSIT TO YOU AS THE BENEFICIARY.”

Then, I was to contact some lawyer who suffers from a clear case of nominal determinism…

YOU ARE DIRECTED TO CONTACT OUR ACCREDITTED LAWYER SINCE YOU ARE NON RESIDENT HERE FOR THE PURPOSE OF SECURING THIS PAPERWORK IN YOUR FAVOUR AND TO ENSURE THAT EVERYTHING IS DONE LEGALLY. THE LAWYER’S CONTACT DETAILS ARE AS FOLLOWS:
HUISSIER DE JUSTICE.
16 BP 532 ABIDJAN 16 

RUE BOULEVARD DU GABON
ABIDJAN COTE D’IVOIRE.

 EMAIL: huissier_de_justice1@rocketmail.com

DIRECT TELEPHONE +22507292581

PRINCIPAL ATTORNEY (OUMAR SANOGOGO ESQ)

What a name. Oh well. I wrote back to the security company.

Whoa Dr Duke, ease up on the caps lock. It makes your correspondence difficult to read.

I am very happy you responded to me. I wonder if you can do me a favour, as we are about to enter into this significant transaction.

Would it be possible for me, as executor and legal owner of this deposit, to arrange for my ward – Michel Robert – to have some personal time with the container. He has some personal items to place in the container, and some to remove. He must have access to the box in complete private before it is released to my care.

I have copied Michel in to this email so that he knows you have my authorisation to allow him to access the box.

Please write to me when this has been completed so I will stop worrying about this transaction.

In the meantime I will contact this lawyer.

The nearest airport to me is the Brisbane International Airport in Australia.

Yours Faithfully,
JNC

And then to the Lawyer, where I planted a seed for potentially trying to turn him against himself (in the guise of Michel).

Dr Mr Huissier De Justice,

Wow, that’s a great name for a lawyer. Did you change it by deed poll? Can I change mine too…

Actually, that is an entirely unrelated matter to my email.

I am about to remove a safety deposit box from your country and have it transferred to mine. I am told I need some paperwork from you in order to facilitate this.

You’re a lawyer, so I’ll be honest with you, I have some concerns about this transaction. Is it normal in Cote D’Ivor for a man’s uncles to be trying to kill him? My poor ward Michel Robert is terrified by these men who are clearly dangerous. I worry about his safety. Can you reassure me that he will be ok. He wants me to act quickly – and I’m afraid that some of my business commitments in Australia prevent me from engaging in this transaction as quickly as he requires.

In the meantime – I need to secure a change of ownership authority as I am taking ownership of the consignment from my friend Michel’s deceased father.

I trust you will act with discretion on this matter. Can I trust you? I would hope that I can and ask that you keep my concerns to yourself and do not mention them to the Security company.

Yours faithfully,

Jonathan “Nathan” Campbell

May 28, 2009

An answer on baptism

Anyone following my current scammer saga will know I’ve been pressing friend Michel on his position on baptism. Today he answered, but it wasn’t enough. I am seeking clarification for your edification. Here is his response:

Dearest Daddy Nathan,
 
How are you doing today. I am still really dont understand what you mean by baptism but I beleive baptism is a sign of forgiveness of sin. Everything I told you about me and my inheritance is truth and nothing but the truth, god is my witness. As I said earlier, I do not have any money with me now and that was why I am very worried to make sure we claim the consignment from the security company so that you will send me some money immediately you receive the consignment and deposit the money into your account. I will provide you the pictures holding a card bearing the words “John 3:16 as a sign of my trust and confidence in you but that should be when you receive the consignment and send me some money because at the moment, I dont have money to pay a photographer considering the fact my present situation here. Please be rest assured that the consignment will delivered to you as soon as the change of ownership are made in your name as my foreign trustee.

No money to pay a photographer. This is unacceptable to me. I am very concerned. Perhaps friend Michel is trying to, how do you say, “take me for a ride…”

Michel, 

Thankyou for responding. I was starting to worry. So much that I did a little research on the internet after my friend’s warnings. 
I am a little concerned. I would hate to be caught up in some sort of plot to steal my money. But I believe that you, a Christian, and my son in Christ Jesus, would not lie to me. This is why I ask for this photo. If I know that you are prepared to find a photographer to produce a photo on my request I will know that you are legitimate. 
Thank you for answering my question about baptism – I’m sorry it confused you. I was asking about your view on whether children should be baptised – I believe this is a key theological issue. It will be easier for me to trust you if I know you are a true believer. So can you tell me what you think on that matter? And can you also tell me what is your favourite verse from the Bible. 
I know you’ve said you don’t have any money at the moment – but I have an idea. I will write to the security company to organise a viewing for you of the box (on my behalf). When you are there you should be able to remove some cash. 
My accountant monitors my spendings closely and I do not think I can send you any spare money at this stage. I will need to find some excuse to withdraw a significant amount to help you out. 
I will contact the security company – who have also asked me to contact a lawyer – and wait for your answers and the photo. I can’t stress how important this photo is to me. I don’t want to leave you in danger – but equally I don’t want to be caught out in some sort of international fraud. I need this photo.
Now, I must go, I have a letter to write to the security company.

May 28, 2009

Daddy-O

Friend Michel wrote a second email overnight – advising me that I am to contact the security company that holds his secret stash. So secret that even his potential killers – apparently his uncles – do not know about it.

Dearest Daddy Campbell,

Please I want you to know that the consignment is still with the security company where my late father deposited it. The security company does not know that the box contains money because when my late father was depositing the trunk box that contains the money with Security Company, he makes it look like the trunk box contains Art Craft / Family Valuables. He did this to protect the money from his greedy business partners and wicked relatives in case anything happens to him. Now they have sucided to poison him to death, I become an orphan and since the sudden death of my father, my uncles have seized all my father’s properties including my father’s only personal account where I get money for my daily upbringings.

Lying to a bank? That can only end in tears. But his uncles do sound nasty. He also wants me to visit him in his home country.

I would also want to know if you will be available to come here in my country cote d’ivoire to meet me in person so that both of us will go to the ministry to get the legal documents and submit to the security company for processing of the change of ownership in your name for easy delivery of the consignment to you. Pls If your work will not permit you to come here, I will negotiate with an attorney to know how we can get those documents on our behalf and submit them to the security company.

But first, I must contact the security company and introduce myself – but by no means should I reveal the box contains money.

I think maybe, just maybe, I will let that little tidbit slip, and then try to cut a deal with the banker for a 20% cut of the contents.

Anyway, I wrote to Mr Duke, the security company manager.

Dear Mr Duke,

I am writing to inform you that I am the legal guardian of an account holder within your institution.

Michel has urged me to call you on the telephone – unfortunately I would prefer my dealings with him, and you, to be treated under the strictest confidence. As I’m sure you understand. I will not be calling you by phone. This is not possible. But please understand that I am who I say I am.

I have attached a copy of the deposit certificate for a collection of family trinkets you have in your secure deposit facility. The item is a metal trunk. I will be organising the withdrawal of this deposit box on behalf of my son, Michel.

Please, can you advise me what documents I must fill in in order to change the ownership of this deposit from the name of my charge to my name.

May 28, 2009

My new son?

Things are progressing nicely with my friend Michel. In his latest missive he has adopted me as a surrogate father. He writes:

Dearest Daddy,

Word alone cannot tell how happy I am to hear that you are born again christian and I am proud to call you daddy. According to your mail, I was born and brought out from a christian family and my late father was one the founders of Catholic Charismatic Renewal Ministry Cocody and it was due to how good my late father are to his people that made his business partners to poisoned him to death.

A Catholic Charismatic? Shock horror. We are doctrinally incompatible. However will we overcome this barrier – we are as two star crossed lovers destined ne’er to meet due to our bitter family feud… if there’s one thing I learned from Shakespeare in highschool (and through having his entire library of works on my iPhone – how cool is that) it’s that insurmountable odds can be overcome, but they often end in death. The next passage gave rise to new hope.

Please be rest assured that the money is my inheritance from my late father because my late father made his money in my country cote d’Ivoire as an exporter / import of Cocoa / caffee and it was out of wickedness and jealousyness his business associates poisoned him to death, I become an orphan, helpless at this age. Please I want you to know that I contact you to help me because I beleive you are capable to assist me live the type of live my late parents earlier planned for me and I want you to know that I never contact you to help me in other to put you in any kind of troubles

His father was a coffee trader. We are joined forever by the fellowship of the bean. I may try to purchase his family’s coffee interests with my generous 15% share of the deal. Which is currently valued at $7.5 million.

He signed out in a manner which was no doubt designed to establish his spiritual bona fides.

Thanks and god bless you for your kind and sincere promises to help me. May our almighty god in heaven reward you and your family aboundantly for the help you are rendering to an orphan like me.

He possibly wasn’t expecting my response:

Thank you for your email – I am glad to hear your father was a believer – that surely makes his passing an easier burden for you to bear.

I hope that you too are a believer – it pays to be right with our maker, especially if there are dangerous people trying to kill you!

I do notice that you haven’t answered my question about baptism. My friends, who are much better with technology, are advising me that you may be trying to commit an act of fraud against me. I tell them that that is not true. I have not given them any information about our transaction. I have simply told them that I will not be available during this week as I seek to conclude our business. I trust you – I believe that you are in all honesty a God fearing man who knows that to act dishonestly will lead to God’s fiery judgment.

My children have made me slightly concerned – what sort of father would I be were I not to listen to my friends – I hope to soon count you as a friend too.

Could you, my son, do three things to verify that you are indeed who you say you are – could you provide a picture of yourself holding a card bearing the words “John 3:16”. Which I think will be an appropriate proof that you are who you say you are – both as a person, and as a Christian.

Could you also tell me what you believe about baptism. This is more important to me than you will understand at your age. When you get to an age like mine you will understand that some issues become important and defining.

And can you tell me what your favourite part of the Bible is – this will, indeed, help to develop the trust between us.

Any photo will of course be shared here.

May 28, 2009

My New Friend part 2

Michel Roberts just rang me on the telephone at work. Which surprised me somewhat. He’s definitely a man.

He rang to see if I’d read his latest email. And to tell me that his life is in danger. I did read his email, and I don’t really care. Here are some highlights from the email.

“I want you to understand that I had bestowed my hope in you believing that you will not cheat me or seat on my fund once the security company deliver the consignment to your care. Therefore,you are to impose love, trust and confidence in me so that we shall achieve our aim. Mostly is trust because without trust that’s mean we are not making any progress,I have the believe that you are a God sent to me and also a God fearing person, and I think it will be nice for us to handle this by both of us because I don’t want someone else to know about the consignment in the security company.Please my dear lets keep the secret between us.”

“Remember that you promised to help me and you also said that you will stand by me. Note that our relationship can not only be built on money but it has got a lot to do with trust and love for people. How can we build this trust? Should we be binded by a contract bond which will be legally signed and sealed in the law court here in this country to avoid cheats from the both of us before we proceed? I need your opinion on this. And bear in mind that I can never do anything that will hurt your heart. It’s a promise. I assure you that this project is 100% risk free and legal, you will not have any problem in assisting me in this project as everything is legal and risk free.”

And here’s my response.

Thank you once again for your timely response. I feel they would be quicker if you wrote slightly shorter emails.

I notice that you did not answer my question from my last email. As I said, the biggest reason I have for continuing to do business with you is your religion. I have a personal rule about not doing business with anybody who does not fear the Lord. You did not answer my question about baptism. Does this mean you are in favour of baptising children?

I was writing this when you made your phone call. Please do not call me by phone in the future – I can not talk about this matter in front of my colleagues. We will have to conduct our communication by email or I will not be continuing our transaction.

I would like you to send me the details for the security company.

Thank you for your call. It is nice to know you are a real person – I have heard of people having money stolen in situations like this – so I believe it is important that we establish this trust.

I have another question for you to answer to help me trust you. Do you love Jesus?

My goal is to preach the gospel to this scammer. Lets see how far I get.

May 27, 2009

New friend

I have a new friend. His/her name is Michel(le). (S)he is from Cote d’ Ivoire. I’m helping him/her out with a little inheritance problem. Apparently his/her late father didn’t trust his countrymen.

Here are some of the details:

l am Michelle Robert, the only child of late Chief and Mrs Benjamin Robert, My father was a very wealthy cocoa merchant in Abidjan here, the economic capital of Ivory Coast, he was poisoned to death by his business associates on one of their business meeting. My mother died on the 20th January 1988 and my father took me so special because l am motherless.

Poor kid. Sounds so sad.

He also explained to me that it was because of this wealth that he was poisioned by his business associates , that l should seek for a GOD fearing foreign partner in a country of my choice where l will transfer this money and use it for proper investment purpose ,that I must finish my university education by the help of a business partner abroad,that he or she should help me obtain a resident permit in his or her country.

That was from the first email – signed off by Michelle. The second, after I indicated a willingness to continue discussions contained the following:

Hope you are fine today and your family , Happiness to hear that you will be willing to assist me retrieve this consignment deposited by my late father in the security company here in this country as you know I really appreciate the time you made out to reply to my mail to you. God in his infinite mercy will richly reward you for your concern and honesty towards me in this my difficult moment in life. God bless you abundantly.

This one was signed off by a “Michel” – and included a decidedly male photo.

I will question him/her about it in future emails. I had much more important questions to ask before pursuing any sort of business deal…

Here’s my response.

I am a very wealthy business man – and I didn’t get to that stage without being cautious about who I do business with. I’m very glad to say that you sound trustworthy – I too am a believer in God, and his mercy. Were we not on the same page theologically I would find it hard to continue in this matter.

Can you tell me – what are your thoughts on baptism?

I googled “Business Man” and used this picture – I hope the virtual me doesn’t mind.

May 27, 2009