Month: May 2009

Conversational ticks

I have a bad habit of paying too much attention to the annoying idiosyncrasies in people’s conversational patterns. Particularly the use of annoying catchphrases. Like “So I’m there going…”, “Can I just say…”, and “… and things like that”…

It gets to the point where hearing those people use those phrases is like nails on a chalkboard.

EDIT: I should point out that this post related more to my bad habit and the problems it causes than to things people say. I was being self reflective not trying to be judgmental.

May 5, 2009

News Just in: Swine Flu develops Zombie Strain

Don’t say you weren’t warned – turns out all the media hype surrounding Swine Flu has been underdone – rather than over the top… until now.

A new strain of the swine flu virus H1N1 have been reported in London.

After death, this virus is able to restart the heart of it’s victim for up to two hours after the initial demise of the person where the individual behaves in extremely violent ways from what is believe to be a combination of brain damage and a chemical released into blood during “resurrection.”

via BBC NEWS | Europe | EU quarantines London in swine flu panic.

May 5, 2009

David v Goliath

Malcolm Gladwell – author of renowned books Tipping Point and Outliers – still has his day job at the New Yorker. His most recent piece is an analysis of the underdog and an endorsement of decision making in real time. It makes for interesting reading.  Here’s a bit to whet your appetite – it’s quite long.

David’s victory over Goliath, in the Biblical account, is held to be an anomaly. It was not. Davids win all the time. The political scientist Ivan Arreguín-Toft recently looked at every war fought in the past two hundred years between strong and weak combatants. The Goliaths, he found, won in 71.5 per cent of the cases. That is a remarkable fact. Arreguín-Toft was analyzing conflicts in which one side was at least ten times as powerful—in terms of armed might and population—as its opponent, and even in those lopsided contests the underdog won almost a third of the time.

In the Biblical story of David and Goliath, David initially put on a coat of mail and a brass helmet and girded himself with a sword: he prepared to wage a conventional battle of swords against Goliath. But then he stopped. “I cannot walk in these, for I am unused to it,” he said (in Robert Alter’s translation), and picked up those five smooth stones. What happened, Arreguín-Toft wondered, when the underdogs likewise acknowledged their weakness and chose an unconventional strategy? He went back and re-analyzed his data. In those cases, David’s winning percentage went from 28.5 to 63.6. When underdogs choose not to play by Goliath’s rules, they win, Arreguín-Toft concluded, “even when everything we think we know about power says they shouldn’t.”

May 5, 2009

Reasonable doubt

Terry Eagleton is a former Catholic Marxist philosopher and academic who wrote a great critique of the God Delusion that even had die hard atheists (eg Jack Marx who at the time was blogging for the SMH and is now at News Ltd) pondering their positions.

He’s now got a book out – called Reason, Faith and Revolution – and it has been reviewed by a NY Times blogger.

While his own take on the book suggests he’s by no means sold on Christianity himself:

“I do not invite such readers to believe in these ideas, any more than I myself in the archangel Gabriel, the infallibility of the pope, the idea that Jesus walked on water, or the claim that he rose up into heaven before the eyes of his disciples.”

And he’s not a fan of “institutionalised religion” which comes in for a pretty stinging rebuke (according to the cover note). Instead he’s trying to empower the left by presenting Christianity as a solid option. So, while offering up the standard criticism of Dawkin’s insistence that religion and science are incompatible he tackles the issue from a social perspective too, here’s a passage from the review (which is worth a read):

“The language of enlightenment has been hijacked in the name of corporate greed, the police state, a politically compromised science, and a permanent war economy,” all in the service, Eagleton contends, of an empty suburbanism that produces ever more things without any care as to whether or not the things produced have true value.

And as for the vaunted triumph of liberalism, what about “the misery wreaked by racism and sexism, the sordid history of colonialism and imperialism, the generation of poverty and famine”? Only by ignoring all this and much more can the claim of human progress at the end of history be maintained: “If ever there was a pious myth and a piece of credulous superstition, it is the liberal-rationalist belief that, a few hiccups apart, we are all steadily en route to a finer world.”

May 5, 2009

Stimulated

My stimulus payment has finally arrived. So I thought I’d express my thanks to K-Rudd via this open letter.

Dear K-Rudd,

Thank you for the very generous gift that arrived in my account today. I am not sure whether it is a “gracious” act – because I do work and pay taxes so it may be “deserved” – but it’s certainly a pleasant interaction with your government.

Many people are suggesting that this payment is a waste of money that should by rights belong to future generations – I disagree. What have those future generations done to deserve the payment? I think we should do more. Future generations should be doing more for us. We’re always told to look after the planet for them – and I notice that you’ve shelved the carbon pollution reduction scheme for another year. Good move.

Spending our kid’s inheritance is all the rage these days – if I was old and had children – I’d do it too. Kids of tomorrow don’t know how easy they’ll have it, and how hard things were for us. They’ll take everything for granted. Shackling them with debt will build resilience and be good for their character.

Here are some other ideas that will help us enslave future generations for our comfort.

  1. I need a new car, the car industry needs jobs – why not get everybody in Australia a new car, or perhaps significantly subsidise cars for us – I’m happy to pay a bit. I know you’ve got that deal with Toyota for green cars – but I don’t want one of them. I want a gas guzzler – how bout a V8 incentive. Future generations don’t really need petrol, by the time they’re around we’ll no doubt have gone nuclear.
  2. The first home buyer’s grant is a good idea, but all it does is drive prices up by $21,000. How bout we take into account the fact that future generations will no doubt spend even longer living at home and give every Australian a house. For free. It might be expensive, but it will create jobs for builders and tradesmen. They don’t have to be luxury houses – but they’ll need lots of bedrooms in order to store future generations.
  3. These future generations will no doubt want our jobs one day, and they’ll be pretty cut-throat and selfish if the current trends are anything to go by – this means my generation will be forced out of the workforce earlier than expected. Super isn’t really going to be worth much in the future – if current trends are anything to go by – so the government should pay us our future unemployment benefits in gold, now. That’s future thinking. And it will help provide jobs for the people who make gold ingots.

I’m sure there are some other great ideas for how the present generation can ride the back of the future generations – we’ve ridden on the sheep’s back for too long. The children are our future – and our present. They’re such a great asset, provided we use them right. I commend you for taking this bold step and giving me all this money.

My wife doesn’t really want to spend it – can you please contact her, you’ve no doubt got our address, we pay taxes – and tell her that spending the money is in the country’s best interest.

I take back all the mean stuff I’ve ever said about you. And I’m sorry I posted that video of you eating your earwax.

Sincerely,

Nathan Campbell

May 5, 2009

There will be blood…

So, you’re a psycho. Or at the very least you want to re-enact the classic shower scene, and you’ve purchased the previously featured blood spattered knife, shower curtain, bathmat, and the blood pool pillow – all you need to complete the package is this apron.

May 4, 2009

A bunch of links – May 4, 2009

May 4, 2009

Bust a cap with your cap…

Blackjacks are those concealable club things that mafiosos use to knock out unwitting victims.

They look a bit like this:

Unless of course, you’ve forked out for one of these cap-jacks – or blackjack-caps – or Sap Caps – because in America they’re called Saps. It’s cunningly disguised as a black cap.

Here’s the product description – for your edification.

This standard baseball cap can be used as a blackjack or sap. Just use the bill as the handle and the cap as an impact weapon. The secret of the Sap Cap is the pocket of a unique impact material that is 110% the density of lead and will not rust. Velcro adjustment.

I’m so glad they included the bit at the end about the velcro adjustment – because that’s what I’d been worried about. I’m sure it’s also good for keeping the sun off.

It’ll no doubt go nicely with your sword umbrella.

May 4, 2009

Just a spoonful of sugar…

Sugar stacks is a diabetic’s worst nightmare – or indeed a dieter’s worst nightmare – a cubic visualisation of the sugar content of popular American foods and drinks.



May 4, 2009

Luther: A hippy?

Some people see eschatology as a dirty word thanks to the Left Behind mob – and I’ve always been pretty wary of people who define themselves by their views on “end times” – but here’s a second post tagged eschatology in two days. There was a comment on my post about how your eschatology shapes your actions that is worth sharing with everybody.

Joanna – who based on her email address I assume used to be a Richardson – but that’s a guess… pointed to a famous quote attributed to Luther:

“Interestingly, Martin Luther – who certainly agreed with you that preaching the gospel was an urgent task in the light of the return of Jesus – when asked what he would do today if he knew the world was ending tomorrow, answered ‘I would plant a tree.’ Was he a man with a poor eschatology, or just a strong theology of creation? Or both, do you think?”

From what I can gather – the quote, more accurately rendered is:

Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree.

I’m not about to throw stones at Luther’s eschatology, that would be profound arrogance on my part. I am curious as to why he would answer the question that way – so I’m doing some research. At the outset I’d posit that either he really enjoyed gardening, or he thought that guessing games concerning the end of the world were pointless and that we should go on living life regardless, others speculate that Luther’s vision of the New Creation features a redeemed version of the current one, and a tree would be a part of that…

There are a few seemingly reputable sites that cast some doubt on whether or not he actually said this at all… but it turns out he did enjoy gardening.

From my initial googling, Option 2 seems to be the favoured interpretation around the online traps.

However, there are others who run with it more literally, like those planning the celebration of the 500th anniversary of Luther’s posting of the 95 theses… who plan to plant 500 trees in the Luthergarden as a visual celebration.

Then there’s the TreeLink mob who claim Luther as a tree-planting champion…

Personally, and this is probably again shaped by my “bias” – and the weight of Luther’s teachings regarding the importance of evangelism against this one quote of dubious origins – I think if he did say it he was probably emphasising the fact that “nobody knows the time and place” so we shouldn’t live as though each day should be our last – but should go on living in readiness. Which, given the weight of Luther’s teachings and the picture we have of the life he lived would involve bold proclamation of the word as a priority.

Some poor souls who run a repository of “spiritual quotes” attributed this one to Martin Luther King Jr.

Incidentally my favourite Luther quote for a long time was this:

Be a sinner and sin strongly, but more strongly have faith and rejoice in Christ.

May 4, 2009

Heroific

Remember the Real Life Superheroes? No, probably not. I wrote about them back when I had about six readers. They get a write up in today’s SMH.

They have such lame names. But that’s pretty standard for Superheroes. I do wonder – with reference to the title – if a person’s title is called an honorific whether one’s superhero name is a heroific? After watching Wolverine yesterday – aka X-Men Origins, I read through the Wikipedia entries on the characters just out of curiosity (starting here) – I wanted to see how faithful the movie storyline was to the actual comics. Turns out the answer to that question is “not very” – but that’s ok, I enjoyed the movie and I’m not a comic book fanboy – or a Mark Driscoll fanboy – though I only use that phrase to ensure my ongoing google pensupremacy* for that phrase.

*I assume given that penultimate is the thing before the ultimate that pensupremacy is the entry before the top entry. Who knows. Correct me if I’m wrong. Actually, don’t. It was merely a bit of wordplay. I take it all back. Except that I leave it all there.

May 4, 2009

A mug’s game

picktheperp

Pick the Perp gives you a line up of mugshots and asks you to match the face with the crime. Fun stuff.

The answer to the question featured in the question is in the comments.

May 4, 2009

Purses and sow’s ears

Seems there’s a silver lining to the swine flu pandemic panic – a boost to the novelty mask market.

May 4, 2009

Sabersegging

I don’t get really excited about lightsabers, generally speaking, but we all know I like a good segway story. So a story about a bunch of guys who learned to fight with lightsabers while riding segways seemed perfect post fodder.

Here’s the video (which won’t appear in the sidebar (I don’t think)). Found here.

May 4, 2009

Labour day

It seems my wife and I have differing opinions on what “public holiday” means – and also what “Labour Day” stands for – we’re using our day off for a spring clean – two seasons late, or perhaps two early.

May 4, 2009