Category: Consciousness

There comes a time in any transaction where you come across “the rub” – the point of friction – the place where everything starts to make sense. Where you have to put up, or shut up. I plan to do neither. Michel has other plans. Lets see who wins out…

“Dearest Daddy Campbell,

Yes I am baptised so my sin are been forgiven. Sir, the lawyer called me now that he has verified the cost of the legal documents needed to change of ownership of the consignment in your name. The lawyer said that they required us to pay a total of €2500 before the legal documents can be issued in your name as my apointed foreign trustee. Please I do not have the money and it becoming source of my worries. please I am pleading to you to help me pay the money to the lawyer so that the lawyer will get the documents today and the security company will process the change of ownership by tomorrow and the consignment will released immediately. 

Michel”

I do plan to point out the flaw in Michel’s hyper-baptist position – but first I have to weasel out of paying him his €2500…

That is a lot of money Michel. Enough for me to be a little worried. It will take me some time to gather that – the exchange rate between our countries currency and British Pound is not so good.

I am glad to hear you are baptised – it comforts me that should things go wrong you will be safe in the Heavenly Father’s arms. We will meet in heaven if not here on earth…

I will do my best to secure the money – it is complex because my accountant watches every penny. I will need to take on a degree of risk. You promised me this would not be a risky transaction.

I really do need some sign of good faith – proof that you are not trying to swindle me. I feel compelled to trust you. I really do. But I need to know that the face at the other side of the camera is a trustworthy one – and that you are a real person. I really must insist that you provide that photo with the John 3:16 sign – how else will I know that you are who you say you are if you can not provide me with this.

Yours in Christ.
J

Friend Michel wrote a second email overnight – advising me that I am to contact the security company that holds his secret stash. So secret that even his potential killers – apparently his uncles – do not know about it.

Dearest Daddy Campbell,

Please I want you to know that the consignment is still with the security company where my late father deposited it. The security company does not know that the box contains money because when my late father was depositing the trunk box that contains the money with Security Company, he makes it look like the trunk box contains Art Craft / Family Valuables. He did this to protect the money from his greedy business partners and wicked relatives in case anything happens to him. Now they have sucided to poison him to death, I become an orphan and since the sudden death of my father, my uncles have seized all my father’s properties including my father’s only personal account where I get money for my daily upbringings.

Lying to a bank? That can only end in tears. But his uncles do sound nasty. He also wants me to visit him in his home country.

I would also want to know if you will be available to come here in my country cote d’ivoire to meet me in person so that both of us will go to the ministry to get the legal documents and submit to the security company for processing of the change of ownership in your name for easy delivery of the consignment to you. Pls If your work will not permit you to come here, I will negotiate with an attorney to know how we can get those documents on our behalf and submit them to the security company.

But first, I must contact the security company and introduce myself – but by no means should I reveal the box contains money.

I think maybe, just maybe, I will let that little tidbit slip, and then try to cut a deal with the banker for a 20% cut of the contents.

Anyway, I wrote to Mr Duke, the security company manager.

Dear Mr Duke,

I am writing to inform you that I am the legal guardian of an account holder within your institution.

Michel has urged me to call you on the telephone – unfortunately I would prefer my dealings with him, and you, to be treated under the strictest confidence. As I’m sure you understand. I will not be calling you by phone. This is not possible. But please understand that I am who I say I am.

I have attached a copy of the deposit certificate for a collection of family trinkets you have in your secure deposit facility. The item is a metal trunk. I will be organising the withdrawal of this deposit box on behalf of my son, Michel.

Please, can you advise me what documents I must fill in in order to change the ownership of this deposit from the name of my charge to my name.