If you’re going to drink crap you might as well drink it from a toilet…
Reporting for duty
I’ve put together a few tips for helping husbands/wives to survive the report writing process.
For the report writer.
1. Balance your time. We all know that report writing isn’t fun for you, but don’t forget that it’s no fun for your spouse either. Make sure you spend some quality time with them as well.
2. Encourage your spouse to use some of his/her free time to do the things he/she enjoys but you don’t. For Nathan it’s playing playstation.
3. Don’t slack off on your commitments. Again, this has to do with the balance thing. Fair enough, don’t take on any extra commitments, but don’t slack off on the ones you’ve already committed to.
4. 80% is good enough. I haven’t mastered this one yet but I’m trying. Apparently the theory is that near enough is good enough. We don’t have to be perfect all of the time.
5. Sleep and eat properly. This goes without saying.
For the spouse…
1. Be patient and understand that the work needs to be done at home and outside of regular work hours.
2. By flowers and chocolate. Frequently.
3. Try to provide a healthy dose of perspective.
4. Be prepared to get your hands dirty and do some marking.
5. Find something to occupy yourself for 72 hours. Nathan recommends a PS3.
Paddle pop
Table Tennis hasn’t been a bastion of innovation. Much. The basic gameplay is essentially the same as it was when invented. Although, I was in a sports shop yesterday and I noticed the handles had a little slide out adjustable thing that is meant to change the amount of control a player can exert on the ball. Interesting. And yet the really innovative players are doing away with handles altogether…
Here it is in action…
Mail order riots
Are you sick of direct mail? I am. Not quite as sick as these guys who have produced a 16 page pamphlet to stuff into the reply paid envelopes they get sent in the mail.
Here are some samples from the brochure.
Things get a little crazy from there… but it all ends well…
Brain power
While we’re on the subject of robots… here’s a cool little piece of trivia.
A robot with a processor as smart as the human brain would require at least 10 megawatts to operate. That’s the amount of energy produced by a small hydroelectric plant. But a small group of computer scientists may have hit on a new neural supercomputer that could someday emulate the human brain’s low energy requirements of just 20 watts–barely enough to run a dim light bulb.
Robots in disguise
If ever the Decepticons do attack you can rest assured we have friendly robots everywhere that will no doubt leap to our defence. They’ll be hiding though. They’re very sneaky, and all over the place. Where you’d least expect them.
Like playing pool…
Or making pancakes…
…Playing volleyball…
They might be packing stuff in a warehouse.
Or taking out the trash…
With all these powers combined and built into a body like this one they’ll be all set to protect us from the nasty aliens.
Optimus Time
This is perhaps the coolest fancy dress costume since the last Transformers costume I posted…
Paintball Art
You have quite possibly seen this video of the Mythbusters guys painting the Mona Lisa in a blink with a paintball turret gun…
But I’m hoping you haven’t seen this rendering of Warhol’s Marilyn Monroe portrait already…
And I posted this a while ago, but it’s equally impressive – though not strictly a piece of “paintball art”… in fact it’s got nothing to do with paintball. But it is the Mona Lisa.
Shirt of the Day: Pacman meets Casper
Mmm. Tasty Tasty Ghost.
And on a shirt too…
Weekend Project: Ping Pong Cannon
One more for the arsenal of dangerous projects to try at home… And it’s a pretty guaranteed ace in the hole for my next game of table tennis against dad… if it doesn’t wreck the table.
This thing shoots table tennis balls through solid chipboard (oxymoron alert).
From CrunchGear.
Don’t forget your toothbrush
These are some nice ads from Colgate. Nice and sinister.
Colgate normally gives out small product samples at annual events like “Oral Health Month” to remind target consumers, especially kids, to take better care of their teeth after eating sweets. This method does not drive strong results as most consumers tend to forget the message, even if they have collected the samples. Instead of giving away product samples, ice cream and cotton candy were given out. The stick carrying the ice cream and cotton candy carries a hidden message. Once consumers are done the message printed on the tip of the stick shaped like a toothbrush reveals “Don’t Forget” with the Colgate logo. This simple message effectively reminded consumers to brush their teeth.
Flogging a live cow
So far I’ve raised $5 with my really useful gift shop. And I have to confess that I spent that $5 myself. On a fish called Eutychus – or a fish farm full of fish called Eutychus.
I’m not expecting to reach the heights of stuffchristianslike.net – or in fact any heights at all – but I am going to keep the little logo for the shop on the top right of the page. Probably forever. In the hope that one day somebody will buy one of these $300 cows.
Report Card
The astute followers out there may have noticed that it has been a whole day since I’ve updated my report timer. There’s a good reason I haven’t updated it. It’s the same reason I was able to nap yesterday afternoon for two hours, go to the movies today and appear in public without the fear of getting grumpy at somebody for no particular reason. Those dreaded reports are finished! And I think we’ve come through relatively unscathed.
Here’s a little summary of how they went. I’ve done it in list form, as that seems to be the way things are done around here.
- 72.5 hours works out very neatly to be 2.5 hours per child. I didn’t plan that.
- Of the 72.5 hours spent on writing reports, approximately 62 of them were spent outside of work hours.*
- These extra hours were typically spent on four nights of the week. I tried to have a little bit of balance in order to retain my sanity. It almost worked.
- I did not receive “overtime” for those hours or take them as time off in lieu.
- Typical report writing activities included; designing report criteria, setting assessments, marking assessments, analysing assessments and class work, grading students, writing comments and data input.
- Report writing activities completed, but not included in the report timer, were; individual conferencing with students (approximately 8 hours), testing students, moderating, collaborating with other teachers and editing with my Head Of Department.
- Hours 1-2 were a little bit more fun than the rest because I was planning and organising things. I like planning and organising.
- Hours 2-30 were completed because of my diligent work ethic.
- Hours 30 – 50 were survived by listening to and enjoying classical music while I worked.
- Somewhere around hour 50 was my birthday. Happy birthday to me, and a number of my friends. I enjoyed my almost surprise party very much.
- Hours 50 – 60 were not fun.
- Around hour 60 I had a bit of an emotional break down. There’s something about sitting at home writing reports on a Friday afternoon that isn’t so fun.
- Hours 60 – 70 were completed because my husband was especially thoughtful and encouraging.
- Hours 70 – 72 were completed because I could see the light. And because I really wanted a weekend free of report writing.
There you have it. The reports haven’t actually been approved yet. That process can take a day or it can take three weeks. I really hope it’s the former. For those of you who are parents out there, I’m expecting to see a few framed report cards hanging on your living room wall. They cost a lot.
* By outside of work hours, I generally mean from 5pm onwards. My school day typically lasts from 7.30am – 4.30pm. As my teaching load remains exactly the same during report writing season, so do my hours.