Ninjitsuit

My first thought when reading about this new, controversial “Burquini” the Islamic bikini invented by an Australian and banned in France (two things that make something more likely to be awesome) was that it looks pretty much like a ninja suit.

Am I right? Yeah. Which got me thinking further – firstly, I didn’t know what a ninja suit was actually called – which was a bit of a gap in my ninja arsenal. For the record it’s a shinobi shozoko. But it’s always dangerous to put a ninja in a box.

Besides the typical ninja uniform, the ninja would use any type of clothing that would get them closer to the mission goal. Sometimes the ninja dressed up as priests, peasants or even samurai. Whatever the mission required, they did.

So, now you’re wondering why I am still talking. You’ve got my point. Well, no. You haven’t. Have you seen the Mythbusters Ninja Episode – it’s my favourite – not because they do cool ninja stuff, but because they go to a ninja warehouse and buy awesome ninja equipment for their ninja mission.

Well, there’s a place like that on the internet. And you can buy a ninja suit for $69 (I assume US) that includes ninja shoes, ninja socks and ninja boots. You can get a different pack that comes with some gear as well for $82. I know what I want for Christmas… or a wedding anniversary present… (hint, hint).

You can also buy ninja gear, and buy all the ninja weapons you could possibly want from here. If that’s legal in your country.

August 13, 2009

Retard retardent

I overuse the word retard. I understand it’s offensive to many people. I just like the way it sounds. Phonetically, rather than contextually. It’s such a dismissive and insulting word. Apparently it’s so insulting that it’s no longer politically correct to use it to describe people who are actually retarded (technically, literally retarded)… I didn’t know that. Now I do.

Here’s the problem with reinventing the wheel – as spelled out in one of those Slate articles…

But any psychologist will point out that changing the name is, in the end, folly. Whatever new term comes into favor today will seem insensitive, or worse, tomorrow. A nation of 10-year-olds has pretty much exhausted the pejorative power of "retarded" and is eagerly awaiting a new state-of-the-art insult. (The AAMR actually went through this before: In 1973, it switched its name from the American Association on Mental Deficiency to its current appellation because "deficiency" implied, well, deficiency. And retarded, at the time, did not.) The current frontrunner, "intellectual disability," even contracts nicely to ID, which can become a cousin of LD (for learning disability), which served as a choice epithet among the circles I ran in in fifth grade. Steven Warren, the president of the soon-to-be-differently-named AAMR, admits that whatever term his organization comes up with, all the little boys who have crushes on little girls and so call them "retarded" will be quick on its heels. In other words, the AAMR will almost certainly be going through an identity crisis again in 20 years, just to stay ahead of the game.

This also ties in nicely with my little treatise on swearing from a few weeks back.

August 13, 2009

What’s in a name?

Today in Brisbane it is 28 degrees. A warm winters day. This gets everyone thinking about global warming and melting icebergs and imminent world destruction.

I think instead of worrying about climate change and carbon emission schemes we could just rename winter Second-Summer. If we change peoples expectations about what type of weather patterns should be occuring at what time of year by renaming the season people will worry less about warm august days. These would be a very normal occurence in Second-Summer. It’s all about perception.

A name change is a very cost-effective technique as it would only mean a change in a few thousand advertising/marketing techniques (eg. winter warmers would need a change) and to the calendars which have ‘winter’ marked on the 1st day of june. If there’s one thing Adam Smith taught its man wants whats cheapest, and wants lots of it. Clearly this option is more economically viable than trying to get everyone to reduce their use of harmful chemicals and pollutants that are seemingly destroying earth as we know it.

Also on the topic of climate change, im not a full skeptic, but i do wonder…i was taught that if an ice cube melts in a cup of water the water level stays the same (the ice cube weighs the same as liquid). So, if the icebergs are melting, wont the water level stay the same…i dont understand rising sea-levels. But, i have not researched this at all and i am sure people smarter than me have.

Anyway, i’ll keep you posted.

August 13, 2009

Grunge grudge

Grunge is so 1990s. The music in particular, the aesthetic in general. I am so very sick of seeing invitations/flyers/advertisements/websites designed with a grungy aesthetic. It’s usually done by people with no real appreciation of the sub culture they’re advertising to (ie the iGen boys and girls in their tight jeans and stupid faux 80s haircuts with bits that have obviously been missed by the hairdresser).

Grunge is cool if you’re in Seattle and either the pastor of a megachurch or a founding member of Nirvana. Otherwise you’re pretty much a wannabe.

Next time you’re asked to design something to promote an event for the yoof can you please avoid the hackneyed dark colours, letters with bits missing and scant regard to horizontal and vertical aspects. Nobody thinks you’re cool anymore. We just think you’re trying too hard.

August 13, 2009

Acronyms v Initialisms

Just so you know… if you reduce a series of words to initials and pronounce them as a word it’s an acronym, and if you pronounce each letter individually it’s an initialism.

So when I write a headline using an acronym it’s your job to read it as a word so that you get the pun.

Ironically, TLA the popular “acronym” for three letter acronyms isn’t an acronym, it’s an initialism. 

Thanks. That is all.

August 13, 2009

Coffee idolatry

JT’s Between Two Worlds is one of the pillars of the Christian blogosphere. Today he shared a little link to this article on sacred cows – and coffee in particular.

While I can appreciate where the author is coming from – I do like my coffee. More than most. It stings a little to see coffee lumped in with U2.

What you find on many websites is some kind of description like this: “I love reformed theology, U2, anything by Steven Soderbergh, and a fresh cup of joe.”  Or maybe: “My interests are theology, issues of social justice, Beastie Boys, and an Americano from (fill in neighborhood coffee shop here).”  Or perhaps: “Can’t resist a good Bonhoeffer quotation, Edwardsean philosophy, and a venti mocha with light whip.”

You get the point. Here’s the thing about this situation: there’s nothing ironic or unique about liking coffee. We all like coffee. Coffee is good. Made well, it’s really good. It’s kind of like saying you like bread. “Anything by Piper, Band of Horses, and Pepperidge Farm rocks my world.” Everyone likes bread. And everyone likes coffee.

Ouch.

August 13, 2009

Location, Location

Robyn is pretty thrilled. A little bit of a furniture rearrangement has rescued our kitchen bench space (and given me a sore back).

We now have a little coffee island in the dining room – making use of a buffet that was previously a fishtank stand and place for general clutter.

I have a habit of buying coffee sacks wherever I can – and I’ve finally put them to some use.

If you’re in the area why not arrange a time to drop round for a coffee… if you’re not in the area, you can always visit…

One day I might get a coffee machine that’s designed for home use.

August 12, 2009

Seek, and you shall find…

Checking just how people end up visiting my blog is one of my favourite past times.

Today someone got here by googling this phrase:

"what to write on your fb status to make your husband mad and nobody else gets"

Sure enough, if you google it, my controversial post on status updates is there are suggested result number 2.

Sadly I don’t think this would be very helpful for this person. So here are some suggestions, for that one person out there.

  1. Thinks Bert Newton is the funniest man alive.
  2. has a headache.
  3. Is looking forward to an early night tonight.
  4. Misses her husband and wishes he wasn’t over the other side of the world (only works if he’s not over the other side of the world).
  5. Is only cooking dinner for one tonight.
  6. Bought heaps of new shoes and dresses today while her husband was at work.
  7. Did some spring cleaning today and threw out her husbands collection of ___ which she never really appreciated.

Any other suggestions. Lets help this poor soul out in the comments.

August 12, 2009

Post it post

I’ve been reading Daily Vowel Movements for a while. Since its Andrew became one of the many Andrews who comments here on occasion. It’s a blog with a nice regularity. You should check it out.

Friday is my favourite day, because on Fridays Andrew posts his pointless post it notes – which are every bit as amusing as the index card version they were inspired by. Here’s my favourite:

August 12, 2009

4WD Segway

The real reason Segways haven’t taken the world by storm (despite having awesome brand placement on shows like Arrested Development) is that they’re not really all terrain personal transportation devices.

Here’s a handy solution.

August 12, 2009

YouTube Tuesday: Coffee culture

I know it’s not technically Tuesday. Well, not in Australia anyway. I’m a pretty inclusive kind of guy.

It’s been a long time since my last coffee post. I’d look it up, but that would take away valuable posting time and delay the wonder that is the Mona Lisa being recreated with coffee in Sydney. That’s right. This little video has gone all over the world, and it was created in our backyard. Impressive.

August 12, 2009

Double-take

i just wanted to share with you something i love. I love english words which have consecutive letters. I’m not sure why but there is something very nice about them especially writing them by hand. I also like words where one letter repeats a lot of times. Because of this love i have compiled a short story using as many of these words as i can in one sentence.

After much sleeplessness a committee of bookkeepers who were all addressees of the Mississippi region meet for an emergency meeting to discuss the suddenness of the need for theere to be less cheerlessness in their organisation, but because of some individual’s possessiveness their original keenness subsided and they left annoyed.

See, words with consecutive double letters are amazing, although sentences containing 14 of them are less impressive.

August 12, 2009

The perils of popularity

You may have noticed that my blog goes down occasionally. Hightek Hosting, my shared webhost, is a pretty awesome hosting company – and it turns out I’ve been causing headaches for all the other people on my server.

Here’s an email I received from the host today – my server’s name is Zeus.

Thanks to some smart and watchful technicians overnight, it appears that we’ve finally tracked down the cause of the constant Zeus Up/Down issues…and unfortunately, yes, it is your site causing them.

Basically, in short, your site fired up a bucketload of apache services and obviously fired them all at MySQL, causing an astronomincal load increase to the point of which we basically have to reboot the server to get it back online.

Now, I don’t know what a lot of that jargon means – but in short, I’m too popular for my own good.

August 12, 2009

Links from August 11, 2009

August 12, 2009

No they’re not.

As promised in my last post the following discussion is about a serious fashion crime that is being committed way too often.

LEGGINGS ARE NOT PANTS.

Exceptions are made when you wear a dress or skirt over the top. Or are working out at the gym or you are a world champion at gym or bike riding or ice-skating – then you can wear leggings as pants but only whilst you compete.

That is all.

August 11, 2009