I’ve been reading Daily Vowel Movements for a while. Since its Andrew became one of the many Andrews who comments here on occasion. It’s a blog with a nice regularity. You should check it out.
Friday is my favourite day, because on Fridays Andrew posts his pointless post it notes – which are every bit as amusing as the index card version they were inspired by. Here’s my favourite:
The real reason Segways haven’t taken the world by storm (despite having awesome brand placement on shows like Arrested Development) is that they’re not really all terrain personal transportation devices.
Here’s a handy solution.
I know it’s not technically Tuesday. Well, not in Australia anyway. I’m a pretty inclusive kind of guy.
It’s been a long time since my last coffee post. I’d look it up, but that would take away valuable posting time and delay the wonder that is the Mona Lisa being recreated with coffee in Sydney. That’s right. This little video has gone all over the world, and it was created in our backyard. Impressive.
i just wanted to share with you something i love. I love english words which have consecutive letters. I’m not sure why but there is something very nice about them especially writing them by hand. I also like words where one letter repeats a lot of times. Because of this love i have compiled a short story using as many of these words as i can in one sentence.
After much sleeplessness a committee of bookkeepers who were all addressees of the Mississippi region meet for an emergency meeting to discuss the suddenness of the need for theere to be less cheerlessness in their organisation, but because of some individual’s possessiveness their original keenness subsided and they left annoyed.
See, words with consecutive double letters are amazing, although sentences containing 14 of them are less impressive.
You may have noticed that my blog goes down occasionally. Hightek Hosting, my shared webhost, is a pretty awesome hosting company – and it turns out I’ve been causing headaches for all the other people on my server.
Here’s an email I received from the host today – my server’s name is Zeus.
Thanks to some smart and watchful technicians overnight, it appears that we’ve finally tracked down the cause of the constant Zeus Up/Down issues…and unfortunately, yes, it is your site causing them.
Basically, in short, your site fired up a bucketload of apache services and obviously fired them all at MySQL, causing an astronomincal load increase to the point of which we basically have to reboot the server to get it back online.
Now, I don’t know what a lot of that jargon means – but in short, I’m too popular for my own good.
As promised in my last post the following discussion is about a serious fashion crime that is being committed way too often.
LEGGINGS ARE NOT PANTS.
Exceptions are made when you wear a dress or skirt over the top. Or are working out at the gym or you are a world champion at gym or bike riding or ice-skating – then you can wear leggings as pants but only whilst you compete.
That is all.
Well, Anna from goannatree tagged me in a meme. Let me just say that I think meme is a stupid word. But I’ve never been tagged in a meme before – not even the stupid ones on Facebook. So I’ll do it. I have to: “share the titles and authors of 15 books that will stay with you, or have stayed with you. You are to write this list in less than 15 minutes.”
This will probably show me up as the trashy “pop culture” reader that I am… and I probably deserve it. Actually, I decided to pad out the list with impressive sounding books that I remember… I cheated really.
Sadly, other than the Bible, I really struggle to finish Christian books – they’re often hundreds of pages talking about an idea that could be summed up in a nice, concise, blog post.
Right, here goes.
You are all now tagged. Feel free to put your list here in the comments – or on your own blog, but make sure you put a link to your post in said comments…
You really should check out my latest phone call from Dr Paul/Interpol Ghana. It’s in the scambaiting section.
I got so sick of Dr Paul and Interpol that I decided to bring things to a head.
I haven’t heard back from the Dr Paul character since my last insulting email. But I moved things along with mr Kofi from Interpol. And then he called me. Here’s the (in my opinion) hilarious phone call. He trips up a number of times. It goes for seven minutes. But it’s the best seven minutes of phone call ever. The email he talks about in the phone call is included below. The best bit is that Mr Kofi – the chief of Interpol/Director of Ghana’s Criminal Investigators Department – asked me to send money to the guy who Dr Paul told me was his staff member who "wouldn’t eat my money"…
Dear.
Thank you very much for this money you send but the problem now that i did not give you the information you will use to send it, please i want to advice you now to go western union now change it now will this nams and address onbelow:
1. NAME: PAUL MOUGOR
2. ADDRESS: ACCRA GHANA
my friend go back now change it in western union and get back to me very fast so you fund will deliver to you very fast now. my friend you have to do this very fast because of problem.Am looking forward to hear from you today.
After the phone call – where I’m sure he didn’t get my message – I decided to let him know that the game was up. If he doesn’t get this message he truly is the dumbest scammer ever.
Mr Kofi/Dr Paul/Emmanuel Onyekwere
The game is over. You are too stupid for words.
I am sorry. You have just made too many mistakes. Let me list them.
1. If you’re scamming somebody and they ask for an easy piece of proof – just send it to them. Don’t make stupid excuses like "I haven’t done that before"
2. If you can forge ID and use a fake email address – anybody else can too.
3. Claiming to be a Christian while trying to steal somebody’s money is just wrong. Obviously you don’t actually believe in God. You’ve got hell to look forward to and all the money you’re stealing off innocent people is not going to get you out of that.
4. If you’re going to bring another character into the picture get someone else to make the phone call – especially if the person hasn’t given your new character their phone number.
5. When you make a phone call actually listen to what the person is saying.
6. When someone tells you they know you’re a thief and then two weeks later writes back to you – you must wonder whether or not they’re just toying with you.
7. When you receive an email – actually read it. Sticking to a script won’t fool anybody.
8. If you’re going to try to steal somebody’s money at least get some real looking ID – photoshop jobs are easy to see through.
9. When someone sends you a Western Union receipt after not having contacted you for weeks – perhaps assume it’s not real. I hope you went into Western Union and looked like an absolute idiot.
And lastly, and this is the big one…
If you’re playing the role of Interpol – don’t send tell me to send money to somebody who "works as Dr Paul’s assistant and won’t eat my money" – which is what Dr Paul Acquah said about Paul Mougour – the guy Mr Kofi is now asking me to send money to.
In conclusion. You are the worst scammer ever. You’ve wasted so much time talking to me. I feel good that you’re not talking to some gullible fool and taking their money. But I suggest that because you are so bad at this you change your ways. Go to church this weekend and tell them that you’re a reformed criminal and ask them to give you some real jobs to do. Get a job washing dishes in a restaurant. You’d be better at every other job in the world than this one. You are THE WORST Nigerian scammer in history.
Regards,
N
Friend Zima’s pastor – Reverend Williams has entered the fray. I told him I was worried about Zima’s doctrine. He sent me this sermon in response. Urging me to help smuggle this money out of the country.
The capitalisation is all his.
I BRING YOU GOOD NEWS MESSAGE TODAY FROM THE BOOK OF HEBREW IT tells us, “Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider him that endured such contradiction of sinners against himself, lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds.”
SERVANT OF GOD I LOVE THIS TEACHINGS OF GOD IT UP HOLDS MY SPIRIT WHEN THE DEVIL IS TRING TO DUPLICATE GOD’S PROMISES TO US.THOUGH I MADE SISTER ZIMA ALSO TO UNDERSTAND FROM THE TEACHINGS OF THE SCRIPTURE WHICH SAYS We may find grace by looking at what Jesus performed at Mount Sinai, and how He had quenched those fiery darts of the law on our behalf! By faith He obeyed, by faith He stepped into death on our behalf. He was the Captain of our salvation, and went on before us – the Shepherd and Bishop of our souls.SERVANT OF GOD I KNOW HOW BUSY YOU ARE ACCORDING TO MY SISTER IN THE LORD BUT PLEASE TRY YOUR VERY BEST TO SEE TO THE SOLUTIONS OF THIS TRANSFER BETWEEN NOW AND NEXT WEEK SO THAT YOU WILL HELP TO SAFE THE LIFE AND INHERITANCE FUND OF SISTER ZIMA.SERVANT OF GOD I REMEMBER THE SPEECH OF POP JOHN PAUL 11 IN AUSTRIA JUNE 23 1988 IN HIS PASTORIAL VISIST HE SAID
Let us renew our “Yes to faith”, a “Yes to life” in all its aspects.SERVANT OF GOD THIS TEACHING IS DEEP TO MY OWN UNDERSTANDING IN ASPECT OF MAKING PROMISES,PLEASE SINCE YOU HAVE ABSECPTED SISTER ZIMA AS YOUR SISTER PLEASE TRY YOUR POSSIBLE BEST WITH YOUR POSITION AND LOVE TO SEE TO HER HAPPINESS FOR THE GLORY OF GOD THAT HAVE MADE YOU WHOM YOU ARE.I KNOW GOD IN HIS OWN WAY WILL PERFECT HIS PURPOSE IN THIS UNION BETWEEN YOU AND SISTER ZIMA.IN MATT 25:31_40 . TEACHES US REWARD ON OUR DAY TO DAY HELP TO THOSE WHO ARE IN NEED THIS SCRIPTURE SAYS 31
“When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, then he will sit on the throne of his glory.
32 All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats,
33 and he will put the sheep at his right hand and the goats at the left.
34 Then the king will say to those at his right hand, ‘Come, you that are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world;
35 for I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me,
36 I was naked and you gave me clothing, I was sick and you took care of me, I was in prison and you visited me.’
37 Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when was it that we saw you hungry and gave you food, or thirsty and gave you something to drink?
38 And when was it that we saw you a stranger and welcomed you, or naked and gave you clothing?
39 And when was it that we saw you sick or in prison and visited you?’
40 And the king will answer them, ‘Truly I tell you, just as you did it to one of the least of these who are members of my family, you did it to me.’
This is the 2000th post on this blog. That’s impressive by any measure.
217 of these have been about Christianity.
98 have been about coffee.
291 have been about communication.
337 have been about culture.
90 have been about sport.
619 have been curious things from around the internet.
648 have been about life in the Campbell household.
35 have been links from my Google Reader (since I changed the category they went in to)
And 30 have been me trying to get a photo out of Nigerian scammers.
You might notice that doesn’t add up to 2,000. That’s because some categories overlap.
118 of these posts were made in 2006
90 were made in 2007
258 were made in 2008
1534 were made this year.
So humble reader – have you got a favourite? Have you never commented before? Use this as an opportunity to tell me what it is you’d like to see more of around these parts.
Oh, and check out my very first ever post in its original context…
Oh yeah, and I’ve used 4,010 tags and received 3,879 comments.
57 comments came from Simone.
252 from Stuss.
359 from Leah.
310 from Amy.
61 from Ben.
39 from Mark.
I’ve made 512.
If you want to know how many you’ve made – let me know.
I’m not a big fan of guitar hero – but solving a Rubiks Cube and playing while watching the TV in the mirror is pretty impressive.
If you have two unrelated points and you can’t think of a way to link them then you don’t have a segue, right? There goes your career on current affairs television…
If you have a one wheeled gyroscope you also don’t have a segway – you’ve got half a Segway, or an Orbis.