The Doctor

I must find out what sort of doctor Dr Paul is. Especially since now I’M GOING TO VISIT HIM IN GHANA. Yes. That’s right people. That’s worthy of a "shout" I think…

Actually, I should spell out – I am not stupid. There is no way known to man that I will be visiting Ghana any time soon. Dr Paul thinks differently. Because I made him… Evidently the wild goose chase I’m sending him on – back and forth to the Western Union office – is taking its toll.

Dear
Thank you very much for your mail. my friend am go to western union now if i came back i will get back to you. my friend if i have any problem i will let you no because since last night am so worry about this problem. my friend i want to go now and meet the man in western union if i come back i will let you no. Am looking forward to hear from you soon.
Yours Friend
Dr Paul

Western Union didn’t come through with the goods – so he called me again – and then sent me this email…

Dear.

Thank you very much for your mail . my friend am not happy for all this that going on now. my friend since that time i call you on phone i want to western union to meet the man after the check again the told me that the money is not there.

please my friend this type i never see it before that some one  send me money i did not see. my friend am please you in the name of God come back to that  western union you send this money collect this money back and send it to any order western union again and send me the information please because this one you send i have try all i can do to see that i pick this money but no way please.

my friend this can of ward i never see it before since i have being in this office. my friend please try do very thing today so by tomorrow diplomat can come and deliver this fund to you.  my friend as am sending this mail to you am so worry about this problem that come out now. since morning here the custom there calling me to burn the money i told them will have big now by collect the money.

once again my friend because of the way i love you makes me being run round since last night for you to collect you fund. my friend as i told you try do it this way it help you and me so all this problem will do fast. i want very thing been round up this week so you can feel happy. Am loking forward to hear from you today.

Yours Friend

Dr paul

Something is wrong. All the details I sent him were correct…It’s time for me to sort this out, in person.

Dr Paul,
I have been to see Western Union – they say the money has definitely been sent. And their records show it has been collected in Ghana.
Now you are claiming that you did not receive the money and asking me to send it again. I am concerned. The lady at Western Union said I should be careful because she has seen people tricked out of money by people from Ghana before.
I told her that you are my good friend. And that I trust you to be truthful to me because you are a Christian brother.
Dr Paul, I hope this is true. I will not be sending money again by Western Union. If you have not received the money that I have sent then I think I must arrange a trip to Ghana to sort this out.
I will book flights in the next few days. Will you be able to meet me at the airport and arrange accommodation for me – I must stay in a hotel with at least a 4 star rating and a reliable internet connection.
Please can you book this for me. I will send you through my flight details shortly. I will come to your country for 5 days. That should be enough to sort out this matter. I will also bring a significant sum of money to ensure any problems with this situation can be ironed out.
Please let me know as soon as possible if the money has turned up – if I don’t hear from you in the next 12 hours I will book these flights.
Regards,
Nathaniel

Apparently it’s all Western Union’s fault and I should now use MoneyGram instead. Dr Paul is calling me every 20 minutes today – and I’ve ignored most of his calls.

Dear.

Thank you very much for our phone discuss. my friend am not happy for all this problem but my God grace all this problem will done very well my friend. about to come to Ghana am not advice you for that because it will collect you much money so what you will now go to money gram and send it money please. my friend try to do it now please. my friend what makes me  i told you not to  come ghana i done want you to have problem i will use my hand here do very thing for you . This is the information you will use to send it on money gram now onbelow

1. NAME; EMMANUEL ONYEKWERE

2. ADDRESS; ACCRA GHANA

Am looking forward to hear from you today.

Yours Friend

Dr paul

What? He doesn’t want me to come… I thought kidnapping and extortion would be more lucrative… I best give him a carrot…

My dear Dr Paul,
I am a wealthy man. Paying to visit your part of the world, my friend, would not concern me. I have not been there. Perhaps there are business opportunities I can explore.
I am concerned. I am wealthy because I do not take being ripped off kindly. I will no doubt be able to sue Western Union for lots of money – including my travel costs – if I get to Ghana and find they have stolen my money.
My friend, I think that I will come to Ghana rather than pay more money to Money Gram. I will book my flights and let you know the details.
The only thing that will stop my arrival is if you receive the Western Union money in the next few hours. Perhaps there has been some delay in the transfer clearing from Australia.
Please let me know if my travel is unnecessary for this reason. I will not invest a second sum of money until I know what has happened to the first.
Kind regards brother,
Nathaniel

Now I need to give him $500 to smooth the way for my trip…

Dear.

Thank you very much for your mail once again. my friend as you told me that you will come to ghana no problem is good. As i told you on phone about this $500 please go now and send it so my morning time here i will go and collect the money and get this document for you. This is the information you will use it to send it through western union money transfer onbelow;

1. NAME; EMMANUEL ONYEKWERE

2. ADDRESS; ACCRA GHANA

Am looking forward to hear from you today.

Yours Friend
Dr paul

That sounds odd. What is this $500 for?

Dr Paul,
What exactly is this money for?
I will not trust Western Union with my money again until I have been to Ghana to sort out this problem.
In fact, I don’t feel comfortable wiring money via any service until I get to the bottom of things.
I will bring the $500 with me, and further funds to cover emergencies.

He replied…

Dear.

Thank you very once again. my friend i no you are not happy what western union do before. but i want to assure you that you will not going to have any problem again. please try send this money so i will go and burn this document and send to you before you come to ghana.

my friend this documnet i want to use this money it is very important . so my friend if you can not send it to western union please go to money gram and send this money fast because this $500 is very important so i will get this document and send to you because this document you will show them in airport because you come in. Am loking forward to hear from you today

Yours Friend

Dr paul

He needs to burn some documents? How droll. Now, I want my photo. The promise of significant funds might be enough…

Dr Paul,
I can not answer more phone calls today. My colleagues are already suspicious. My friend, I do not want people to know about this deal they will want money from me.
Dr Paul – it worries me that this money has disappeared – perhaps you should try Western Union again just in case – I have spoken again to the local lady, I don’t think she has any idea what she is doing.
My Friend, please, can you go to Western Union and explain the situation and ask what could possibly have happened to my money.
I will not send more to your country without delivering it in person. The lady at Western Union, she said that it’s probably a scam. That you have taken my money and want me to send it again so that you can take more.
I don’t believe her – but you remember we had some problems earlier where I believed you to be a criminal. Dr Paul, I think, before I invest more money in a trip overseas, or send you more money by wire, I think you need to at last, take a step to demonstrate good faith.
I need you to send me a photo to reassure me that you are who you say you are. I need this Dr Paul, or the deal is off. I have already spent $850 for nothing. When you are as rich as me that is not a lot of money in the big picture, but you don’t get rich like me without being careful with your money. And I am a prudent and careful man.
You must do this. Send me a photo holding a sign like I asked to begin with, or the deal is off. As a Christian brother I ask that you hold a sign with your favourite verse from the Bible.
Please Dr Paul. I can not tell you how important this photo is to securing this deal and my travel to Ghana.

The author

Nathan runs St Eutychus. He loves Jesus. His wife. His daughter. His son. His other daughter. His dog. Coffee. And the Internet. He is the campus pastor at Creek Road South Bank, a graduate of Queensland Theological College (M. Div) and the Queensland University of Technology (B. Journ). He spent a significant portion of his pre-ministry-as-a-full-time-job life working in Public Relations, and now loves promoting Jesus in Brisbane and online. He can't believe how great it is that people pay him to talk and think about Jesus.

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