Coffee – Page 8 – St. Eutychus

Corporate coffee

Pretty funny corporate dig at elite coffee culture. It’s just a shame that Macca’s coffee is often not so hot, precisely because it’s too hot.

So much of what they do is actually alright. If McDonalds was serious about coffee they’d have properly trained people, not machines turning out their coffee.

What Maccas do right:

1. The beans are “rainforest alliance” – which is a much better form of fair trade.

2. They grind on consumption – unlike some “cafes”.

3. They turn over beans pretty quickly which means they’re unlikely to be stale.

4. Superauto machines turn out a consistent product.

Point 4 is positive and negative. Superautos produce a product below the quality of hand crafted coffee. A barista finetuning the grind to meet the conditions will produce a better coffee every time. Maccas mass produced approach will also fall short of the quality a cafe using freshly roasted (in house) beans will produce. But it is consistent. Unfortunately the only inconsistency is caused by their high school aged coffee producers (they’re not baristas). Coffee extraction occurs at the push of a button. But the frothing is still manual. And too often the McCafe-ers are guilty of frothing the milk to the boiling point of water (milk boils and loses its pleasant flavour at about 65 degrees).

If you can find a McCafe that doesn’t burn the milk you’ve got it made now that McDonalds has introduced free wireless nation wide.

January 31, 2009

Things I use: Ministry Grounds

I like coffee. You know that by now. I’m also very committed to the idea that you can have coffee that’s better quality than the coffee served by 90% of cafes at home (without being crazilly obsessive and buying a commercial machine – but don’t tell my wife).

There are two essential ingredients to good coffee that make even the most rudimentary brewing methods produce a passable cup of coffee. Freshly roasted beans, freshly ground. That’s it. If you have those ingredients you can produce a great cup of coffee just by mixing the coffee with (almost) boiling water.

The freshly ground part requires a grinder. Most coffeesnobs will argue that you should spend more on your grinder than your machine. The grind is the most important variable when producing different types of coffee in different ways. Most coffee snobs say the only way to go is for a conical burr grinder – but I think given a little development of technique (ie figuring out how long to push the button for) even a spinning blade grinder will produce a better coffee than a lot of cafes if you have the right beans.

Lets face it, dud beans=dud coffee. It doesn’t matter what other variables you throw into the mix . Give a World Barista Champion a box of Lavazza beans from the supermarket and they’ll still turn out coffee that tastes stale and muddy.

Getting the beans right means getting the beans at the right time. Ideally 2-14 days post roast. The sweet spot timing wise depends on the type of bean and how roasted they are. The darker the bean the stronger the flavour and the thicker the “body” of the coffee – and the lighter the bean the more complex and tasty the bean is (and the less bitter).

There are two ways to ensure you’re hitting that timing sweet spot – one is to find a roaster who labels their coffee by roast date – the other is to roast your own. Buying roasted coffee is expensive – Coffee Dominion in Townsville roasts wonderful coffee – but charges $8 for 250gm – or around $30 if you buy a kilo in bulk. That’s a lot of coffee to get through in two weeks.

Buying green beans is much cheaper – Ministry Grounds – the online co-op I buy beans through sells green beans ranging from $6 through to $12 per kilo – you’ve got to throw postage costs into the mix – but it’s much, much cheaper. Neil Atwood, who runs the store and the associated blog, is a coffee snob and a church minister. He’s very approachable and helpful. The customer service is great – and all the green beans come with a “serving suggestion” roasting notes to help you get the best from different bean varieties.

Roasting at home is easy. There’s a plethora of information around the web. I got most of my tips from coffeesnobs.com.au (who incidently also sell green beans once a month through a first come first served “beanbay”) and my roasting set up cost me about $40 thanks to ebay and some astute garage sailing. I use a heat gun/breadmaker combo as do many people from the coffeesnobs forum – but roasting simply requires heat and agitation – you can roast beans in a popcorn popper.

Home roasting is cheap, easy, and has that do-it-yourself element that adds a whole lot of self-satisfaction to every cup. And it tastes better too.

If home roasting sounds like too much hassle you could always ask your friendly neighbourhood home roaster and they might do it for you… it’s well worth it.

January 27, 2009

Morning coughy

I’m home sick today with a particularly nasty head cold complete with dizziness and all the usual symptoms. Bleh.

Does anyone have any particularly potent remedies I should try? I’m not sure that coffee does anything for a head cold so I’m open to suggestions outside my normal method of dealing with aches and pains (they’re usually induced by caffeine withdrawal).

I read somewhere, and have observed personally, that coffee tastes suspiciously like vegemite when taken with particular strains head cold. I also think Hahn Light tastes like vegemite but that’s entirely another matter.

January 27, 2009

Things I use

I’ve been thinking about producing a couple of series of posts in a more didactic vein than my regular profiles of useless gadgets, my rants on general stupidity and my list of links of things I’ve read using Google Reader.

So I’m planning some regular features – maybe weekly – on useful tools, software, blogs I subscribe to – things that might be helpful for my regular readers or mini tutorials that will be helpful for me to revisit at some stage in the future.

I’m also planning a bit of a series on coffee – on the essentials for making cafe quality (and that is a little bit of a lose description) coffee at home. You don’t need an extreme set up like mine, the basics are actually surprisingly cheap and easy.

I’ll put these posts in their own category and probably link to them permanently from the side bar of this blog and will maybe even create stand alone pages at the top where you’ll currently see already existing pages on who I am, my coffee set up, and our New Zealand holiday.

Why am I telling you this? I don’t exactly know, I just thought it would be a good way to introduce what will possibly be something useful I can contribute to your life.

January 20, 2009

Caffeine Trip

January 17, 2009

New Zealand: Reflections

As our trip comes to a close – we fly out today – Robyn and I have been doing some early post trip analysis. Here are our thoughts on our trip.

Best Coffee
I’ve written a lot about coffee so it seems only fitting this is the first cab off the rank.
N: Bureau de Cafe, Queenstown
R: Bureau de Cafe, Queenstown
Unfortunately I didn’t take a photo of it – but honourable mentions go to the Sugar cafe in Kaikoura, Gusto in Picton and Coffee Culture in Christchurch.

Gusto, Picton

Worst Coffee

There have been some stinkers on this trip. It’s hard to pick. But here goes.

N: The Why Not Cafe, Kaikoura, I’ll tell you why not – the coffee seemed to be exothermic. It got hotter as time wore on, the coffee itself was untastable because our taste buds were scalded off.

R: Piazza coffee at the Hermitage Hotel/Edmund Hillary Centre at Mount Cook.

Best Budget Accommodation
N: Top 10 Holiday Park, Franz Josef. Talk about million dollar views. It worked out at $42.50 pp so that’s value. Plus there were bunk beds in the room so we could have been even more efficient.
R: Holiday home at Hanmer Springs. Worked out at $30pp and was clean, well equipped and very comfortable.

Best Accommodation

We’ve stayed in some nice places as well as some budget places. Here are our top picks.

N: Living Space, Christchurch. It was quirky, colourful and handy to the CBD for strolls and coffees.

R: Breakfree Alpine Village, Queenstown. The views of the lake from the balcony were stunning and it was a spacious one bedroom apartment handy to town.

Worst Accommodation

N & R: Te Anau Holiday Park – the lakeside A-Frame cabins look cute and cozy, but inside were anything but. It was cold. We were supplied inadequate blankets and the bed was like a marshmallow.

Dishonorable mentions: Picton Holiday Park – full of smokers, poor facilities and dangerous cliffs.

Best Breakfast

N: Sugar Cafe, Kaikoura – Big breakfast – venison sausages, hashbrowns, bacon, eggs and a terrific relish.

R: Sugar Cafe, Kaikoura – maybe it was the seal swim induced appetite, but the Sugar Cafe scored again for their eggs benedict – Robyn says it’s the best she’s ever had.

Best Lunch

N & R: Fergburger.

Honourable mentions go to the Skyrail buffet, and the Honey Pot Cafe for their sensational toasted sandwiches.

Best Dinner

N & R: Bailies Pub, Christchurch. Robyn had Lamb Shanks, Nathan had a sirloin cooked to tender perfection.

Honourable mention – the hot rock dinner at Hanmer Springs.

Best Activity

N: Seal swim, Kaikoura. Seals are cool.

R: The Skyline experience – paragliding, luge and lunch. What a winning combination.

Honourable mentions go to horse riding, puzzling world and the jet boating part of our white water rafting adventure.

Best Drive

N: Hanmer Springs to Kaikoura – the rest of the car was asleep but these picturesque mountain roads were fun to drive.

R: Te Anau to Milford Sound – lots of scenic stops on the way, a tunnel through a mountain and the constant presence of a glacier in the rear view mirror on the trip back made this a drive to remember. As did the early morning start.

Honourable mentions – Queenstown to Lake Tekapo for the Lord of the Rings style rolling mountains and craggy rocks, Lake Tekapo to Mount Cook for the cows and roadkill, and the Wanaka to Queenstown stretch.

Best City/Town

N: Christchurch – lots of cafes, churches, old buildings and a comfortable city feel.

R: Hanmer Springs – a cute little village in the mountains.

Honourable mentions – all the rest.

Most Memorable Person

N & R: The grumpy horse riding lady.

Most Memorable Day

N: Picton – simply because Robyn almost fell off a cliff. I won’t be forgetting that in a hurry.

R: Queenstown – paragliding, luge, lunch, and gondola ride – plus the best coffee all trip. A winning combination.

Honourable mention: Fox Glacier. I’ll never forget the pain in my legs during that walk – or the sense of satisfaction drinking a cold beer on our return. It was all worth it though – walking on a glacier is kind of cool.

Most Picturesque Location

N: Mount Cook

R: Lake Tekapo, Church of the Good Shepherd.

Honourable mentions: Milford Sound and Kaikoura.

We’ll add pictures and links when we get back to Australia – right now it’s off to breakfast.

January 17, 2009

Lake Tekapo, Mount Cook

Today is national bad similie day. I’ve just declared it. Hence this post will be filled with them – like a flea circus on the back of a mangy dog.

Our little car that could, a red kia Picanto, chews through fuel like a fire breather chews through kerosene – quickly and in spectacular fashion.

We made the 100km journey from Lake Tekapo (a quaint lakeside village) to Mount Cook (New Zealand’s highest mountain) in double quick time – like tinned food on pension day…

Actually, we were slowed unexpectedly by a chain of cattle at muster time. These cows – we guessed there were about 200 of them (a fifty/fifty split between adults and calves) – were travelling between paddocks – along the road. We spent some time travelling in cattle class – and some further comic release was provided when an add for a local butcher came on over the radio. We promptly wound the window up so as not to scare the locals into some sort of frenzied stampede.

Mount Cook is a glacial behemoth. It has killed over 130 people. So deadly is it that the Visitor Information Centre includes a book listing those who have died – and a video of a recent rescue effort that ended with the untimely demise of the rescued climber.

The base of the mountain is also home to the Sir Edmund Hillary centre – a museum dedicated to the kiwi mountaineer.

The coffee at the Edmund Hillary centre’s cafe was bad – like a similie without a corroborative noun. How hard can it be to make a palatable coffee?

The cattle were still lowing on the way back. En route I was surprised by the amount of roadkill on New Zealand roads.

The only billboards we’ve seen on our travels have been for road safety – and it seems that sentiment doesn’t extend to animals. The distance between Mount Cook and Lake Tekapo was 106km. On our journey we counted 136 individual pieces of roadkill. Birds, possums, rabbits, unidentifiable fur balls. That’s a road kill index of 1.28 animals per kilometre. I’m sure that’s high. In fact, there was a 20km stretch about 10 minutes out of Mount Cook that accounted for 48 pieces of roadkill – a significantly higher roadkill index of 2.4. Is there anywhere else that boasts a figure like that? If so, I haven’t seen it.

The township of Lake Tekapo is a small town on a big lake. There’s not a whole lot of exciting stuff there. There is a Peppers Resort – which is where we stayed. Our track record with Peppers hasn’t been great. It was a Peppers Resort that lost our booking on our wedding night – almost leaving us sleeping in a stable… before upgrading us to the one available luxury room. This Peppers experience was much better. On our second night in Lake Tekapo we dined in house at the restaurant, and enjoyed a fine sirloin steak and superb lamb rump.

One of the township’s famous attractions is the Church of the Good Shepherd – an old stone chapel built right on the lake. We spent a bit of time at twilight last night taking photos in what was pretty photogenic light.

Some photos were more serious than others

The chapel is a working church – shared by the Anglicans, Presbyterians and Catholics in town – outside the chapel there’s a little letterbox styled post – asking for donations. There’s no need to pass the plate around if your church is a tourist attraction.

Here's one we prepared earlier

Actually, this afternoon we toured the Christchurch Cathedral – having only seen the outside on our first stop. They “encourage” a five dollar donation, and those looking for a “truly memorable” experience can donate a church chair for just $320.

As I’ve already pre-empted – like a US president’s foreign policy – this morning our trip came full circle – back to Christchurch. We’re at the Off the Square boutique motel which is the first place we’ve stayed to offer free broadband. Tonight’s dinner was probably the best of the trip. Bailies Pub, just around the corner from the hotel and the cathedral, cooked up a sensational sirloin steak with mashed potato. And Robyn’s lamb shanks were cooked to perfection.

January 16, 2009

Puzzling World, Queenstown, Te Anau, Milford Sound, Queenstown

Things that make you go "mmm..."

The Ferg loves you. Before we came to New Zealand about five people independently recommended a burger shop in Queenstown. Not just any burger shop. Fergburger! I don’t think I’ve ever used an exclamation mark in earnest on this blog – that’s how good Fergburger is. It’s the burger shop so nice we went there twice. Seriously. Good. Burgers.

Life before Ferg now seems just a distant memory – but I can tell you that if I wasn’t so busy raving about Fergburger I’d be raving about Puzzle World. Wanaka’s star attraction is the self proclaimed capital of eccentricity. The illusion rooms are something to behold – the chamber of faces is quite bizarre, the holographic artworks are impressive, the tilting room was nauseatingly intriguing and the perspective room made for a great photo opportunity.

Following the illusion section we took an “amazing” walk through Puzzling World’s outdoor maze. The idea is to find four coloured towers at each extremity. The maze contains 5km of pathways – many of them are frustrating dead ends. The signs say the average maze goer walks up to 3km in order to complete the task. The average finish time for the challenges (there are two of them) is one hour and thirty minutes – we were done in about 50 minutes.

Ouch

Then it was time for some funny photos on the grounds – and some purchases in the puzzle shop – including this Turkish puzzle ring.

Lord of the Rings?

From Wanaka we hit the highway to Te Anau – via the aforementioned Fergburger. Our final destination was another lakeside holiday park. Oh, woe is us. Holiday accommodation by a lake at every turn. This one was an A frame cabin that turned out to be a chillibin – that’s kiwi for eski. Their inadequately supplied warm linen meant this wasn’t the best night’s sleep we’d had all trip. We dined as a local Italian place that looked like it had the same décor it was fitted out with about 30 years ago – just with some red corrugated iron nailed onto the counter. They did have a vintage coffee grinder which was pretty special – it was sitting behind the specials chalkboard though, and for some reason I didn’t take a photo of it. I did get to listen to it in a special demonstration. The pasta we ordered wasn’t great, but the brie, chicken and cranberry pizza was very nice.

An early morning was in order because we were booked on a cruise of Milford Sound – some two and a half hours’ drive away. At least that’s what we were told. We got there pretty early. And sat in the terminal. And waited. The cruise advertised a “continental breakfast” – which turned out to be a box of muesli. And some toast. It wasn’t Fergburger, but it was healthy. The cruise through a glacier carved waterway was something different – the coastline, or cliffline, was fringed with waterfalls, colonies of baby seals and impressive snow topped peaks. It was worth the two hour trip – which included a rudimentary tunnel carved through the base of one of the fairly large mountains. On the way back we stopped at “The Chasm” a rainforest fringed waterfall.

Lunch, or brunch, was a bowl of wedges with satay sauce at the Olive Tree café in Te Anau. Their coffee was passable. Dinner tonight was a second round of Fergburger, back in Queenstown, where we’re staying at the Alpine Ridge Holiday Apartments. They’re nice, and once again, they’re overlooking a lake.

January 14, 2009

Picton: Widowmaker (almost)

New Zealand is a dangerous country – filled with opportunities for the daring to get their adrenalin pumping at a price. Free, as it turns out. I can’t understand why people will fork out big dollars for some “extreme sports” action when you could just come for a simple bushwalk with us. We are able to turn even the tamest activity into a real chance for death. Lesson learned. Don’t wear thongs on a bushwalk. Especially on rocky crags overhanging deadly ravines. More on that later.

We arrived in Picton having only visited one winery on our merry winery adventure. Wineries it seems, like everything else in New Zealand, close at 5pm. I don’t understand why tourist attractions like wineries don’t stay open to capitalize on those of us who are driving around enjoying the sunshine.

Our one and only winery pit stop was the Yealands Estate winery just outside Blenheim.

Yealands Estate

It’s about as close to brand new as you can get – and it’s a significant development. The storage facilities on site will hold over 3 million litres of wine at various stages of the production process – the vineyards will produce grapes capable of producing at least that much wine per crop.

I’m no wine drinker – and I have no idea about the scale of the average winery, but this one seemed big by comparison to those we drove past.

Our helpful British guide, Hayley, took us through the inner workings of the winery – including a cool “science” room complete with test tubes, beakers and an alcohol tester for the winemakers to fine tune their drop.

After the tour of the facilities we made our way to the “cellar door” for a tasting session. If I ran a winery my tasting bench would be an actual door – it’s odd that “cellar door” now just means wine bar in a winery, although to be fair the Yealands Cellar Door is in a temperature controlled “cellar” where they’re storing a bit of wine.

The Yealands Estate Sauvingon Blanc was the favoured drop of most in our party. It lived up to what are often very loose aromatic descriptors.
Having sampled six of their best we hit the road to Picton. Picton is a nice little harbour town, complete with marina. It’s quite picturesque, and after our holiday park cooked (as opposed to home cooked) Lamb curry we decided to head towards a nearby lookout for some happy snaps and post food induced exercise.

The lookout was nice enough – and offered a walking track with some genuine Maori culture – as signified by the totem pole at the entry.

Feeling adventurous we hit the footpath. Things were tame enough – we stopped in the foundations of some old Maori dwellings for a group photo and decided to head to the signposted beach before turning back.

Coming to a fork in the path we chose to head to the right – a path fraught with danger. Narrow. Rocky. Sandy. Slippery. We could only manage single file on the trip down – and the road led to a very narrow strip of rock, already occupied by some local fishermen (or fisherboys). We turned to head back, and after taking just a few paces up the track Robyn’s thongs gave out under her. She slipped. Fiona was right behind her. I was next. I looked up to see her on the ground. What I didn’t at first realise was that only her torso was on the ground – the rest of her was hanging off the side of the precipice. As she clamoured to get up the ground underneath her gave way and she was left hanging on by her forearms, legs pawing at empty air. Fiona helped her scramble up the rocks – and we were both left shaken, not stirred.

The (almost) deadly ravine

I was probably more shaken than she was – I’m quite attached to my lovely wifey. In my mind I was thinking of all the disaster stories you read where people meet their untimely demise while on holidays. She’s fine. Although she is sporting a new flesh wound on her already injured (at home playing indoor soccer) toe.

This morning we said farewell to our travel buddies – and picked up our own downsized hire car. The farewell was done in a style typical of my holiday accounts – over coffee, at a great café in Picton called Gusto. Robyn voted it the best coffee of the trip so far – I put it slightly behind Kaikoura’s Sugar. The French toast with bacon, banana and berries was absolutely sensational – with the toast component a perfectly sliced French stick and the bacon cooked to just the right side of crispy.

Robyn voted her ham, brie and tomato croissant the best croissant she’s ever had. Gusto was a win. Farewelling our traveling companions was a loss. We really enjoyed our time with them and continuing our holiday solo style is bittersweet. We cranked out the miles today though – to ensure the separation is more than just a separation in spirit – they’ve left for Wellington by boat, while we drove eight hours to Franz Josef before glacier walking at the Fox Glacier tomorrow morning.

January 10, 2009

Seal of approval

This morning’s activity involved some very cold water, hooded wetsuits and a colony of New Zealand fur seals. Oh, and some snorkels. It was cold. Did I mention that already? It was also great, there are hundreds of thousands of seals living on the New Zealand coast. Their numbers were significantly reduced as a result of the fur trade about 200 years ago. These particular seals were thought to be extinct. Luckily for us – they weren’t. Our tour guide informed us that a particular type of seal – I can’t remember which one – is actually more like a dog with flippers.

We finally found a good coffee – at a cafe called Sugar on the main street of Kaikoura. The temperature was perfect. Their big breakfast was also very big. We did have an abysmal failure from the cafe next to the seal swim place – it must have been over 100 degrees – it was scalding.

I think a general rule for picking somewhere to have coffee in New Zealand is avoiding anywhere serving vivace or hummingbird coffee.

There are photos from our last couple of days worth of activities now stored in our New Zealand picassa album – seal photos will be coming once we get the film developed from our underwater disposable camera.

Today is winery day – which I must say I’m particularly looking forward to. Must be off. The grapes await.

January 9, 2009

The road to Kaikoura

After an eventful morning farewelling Hanmer Springs in the best possible style – coffee at a Yak shack – aka an animal farm cafe complete with llamas, alpacas and what we think was a yak. We’re unsure because we weren’t prepared to pay the $10 each to leave the confines of the cafe for the greener pastures of a series of animal enclosures.
We hit the road – route 70 to be precise – although that’s from memory so it’s probably wrong and started the journey to the coast. We took a “scenic route” although I am unsure whether there are any non-scenic routes in New Zealand. I was struck by the lack of suitable shoulder areas on the road for drivers to stop to take photos. As my passengers were sleeping in the seats around me I was composing a letter to Tourism New Zealand suggesting they create better “lookout” facilities for drivers wanting to capitalise on the rolling hills and forests. But then I realised creating lookouts the whole way along would be an inefficient use of taxpayers’ money. We did stop for a few happy snaps – including the obligatory photos of sheep. Robyn thinks that sheep in New Zealand have reached plague proportions as every mountain is littered with them.
As we drove past a number of farmsteads heading into our eventual destination – the township of Kaikoura – I noticed that each had a unique letterbox – some where weatherboard, others were 40 gallon drums. I thought about commissioning a coffee table book of photos of the letterboxes of New Zealand – but didn’t want to end up with a collection of photos of bins (litter boxes). Something may get lost in translation there.

Tonight we’re in Kaikoura. I’m still unsure how that should be pronounced. We’re staying at a reasonable (both in price and quality) “Holiday Park” that’s Maori for Caravan Park. It’s The Alpine-Pacific Holiday Park. It’s an appropriate name. Kaikoura is situated at the base of snow capped mountains and on the coast – a blend I’ve never before experienced. The combination of New Zealand’s long twilight, the rocky beaches and a combination moonrise/sunset made for some great photos. Fish and chips on the beach is not the same without sand – but I’m happy to report the seagulls here are just as pesky as those in Australia.

We spent an inordinate amount of time throwing rocks at the ocean – well the brother-in-law-in-law, and I, started off trying to skim rocks, but that was an abominable failure. Then it became a chance to be like the children sitting next to us who were chastised by their family for throwing stones only minutes earlier. There was no fear of corporal punishment though – so it was an impressive effort by the parents to get their offspring under control. Robyn’s discus prowess was equally impressive. She could hurl a stone a mile (that’s a small bit of hyperbole) and it glided through the air with perfect form.

We’re going “swimming with the seals” tomorrow morning – so tonight was a great opportunity to scout out our prospective swimming buddies with a trip to the seal colony on Kaikoura’s headland. There was an impressive array of seals “sunning” themselves on the rocks by the water – and a bunch of really smelly kelp to add to the atmosphere. At this point the sun started to go down leading to a pretty spectacular photo opportunity on top of the hill.

I’ll have to add all the photos I plan to insert in this post at a later date, we’re about 4 minutes off running out of our hour of prepaid wireless. Hopefully some of them will be up on the picasa album before our time is through – tonight’s time that is. You should check it out now.

January 9, 2009

Hanmer Springs

Day three of our New Zealand adventure began with an early morning departure from Christchurch. We picked up a quick caffeine hit from the now thrice mentioned Honey Pot café and then hit the road. Christchurch has an inexplicable array of streets with changing names. Streets change names without warning for seemingly no reason at all. This made following googlemaps directions hard. We got a little lost. Tempers were frayed because we were late, late for a very important date. It wasn’t Alice in Wonderland and we weren’t risking decapitation at the hands of the queen of hearts – but we did receive an icy welcome when we did arrive at Hanmer Horses – the specialists in horse tours of the surrounds of the quaint ski village. We were asked to arrive with half an hour to spare, and got there with 20 minutes up our sleeves. Not a bad effort considering we’d run the risk of quite literally “running on empty” to get our troupe of equine adventurers to the ranch on time.
Hanmer’s very own Queen of Hearts greeted us with possibly the grumpiest reception I’ve ever experienced from anyone in the tourism industry. Actually, make that the second grumpiest. The grumpiest was a deckhand on the Dunk Island to Mission Beach ferry – who when informed that the journalists and Tourism Australia media representative I was travelling with had not been issued tickets upbraided us with a series of cuss words that only a mariner can truly command. But I digress. Tourism is a people industry. If you’re not into people – but like the company of a horse – perhaps vet science is a better career path. This lady yelled at her staff and then quite literally “took the reigns” before they’d had a chance to heed her commands. She harangued us for being late. For having the nerve to expect to pay with credit card using a signature rather than a PIN and was abrupt and sour the whole time she interacted with her customers. She was a blight on what otherwise was by all accounts a pleasant ride through picturesque New Zealand territory.
I was left to my own devices for a couple of hours while the intrepid “four horsemen” where off gallivanting and galloping around the hills, I used the time wisely acquainting myself with the birds and bees of Hanmer Springs. Literally. For that to truly make sense you’ll have to check out some of the photos in our web album – I’d link to them, but we’re very close to running out of time with our hour of wireless internet.
The riding experience left our party saddle sore and weary – and it was time for respite and repast. We made haste to the Springs Deli – where we supped on salads, and other such delights. All this eating and merriment left us in need of a nanna nap – so our troupe trouped off to our holiday house to emerge hours later ready for dinner. We decided to head back to the town centre to pick up some meat from the supermarket but decided to make do with an antipasto platter when we determined meat was not so forthcoming in these parts. The platter sated our hunger somewhat as we tried to negotiate a recalcitrant wireless hotspot.
We decided to go for some real food – and experienced what was roundly acclaimed as the best food we’ve eaten all trip, probably all year in most cases. Stone grilled meat is something I’d never experienced before – and I can only wonder why. This pub specialised in the fine art of stone grilling – which means they basically bring you a really hot slab of stone and some raw meat and you cook it yourself, to your liking. It was superb. The Moroccan chicken pizza we had along with the meat was also superb – and you’ll hopefully find pictures of both in our album – or here if we locate reliable internet before you’ve digested this post.
After this meal it was time for a movie and bed. We had to be up the next day (today – or yesterday depending on your timezone) for some whitewater rafting thrills and spills at the appropriately named “Thrillseeker’s Canyon”. Thrillseeker’s Canyon seems to have its approach to staffing just right – our experience there was nothing but positive. We were a little nervous to begin with because we’d been told this was a category 4 rapid run – and that apparently meant some serious rapids and danger. In reality the journey was smooth sailing with just a few bumps along the way. Our Maori guide – Darren – was excellent, and made sure we had an enjoyable trip with some forced “abandon ships” to make sure we had the rescue and recovery process down pat should problems arrive further downstream. The typical rafting run covers about 7km and includes stops for jumping off high rocks into water, and general aquatic frolicking. Our atypical trip ended with a nice surprise. The trip ends at a swimming hole – and I had asked at the outset how we’d be getting back from b to a. A to b seemed pretty straight forward. Our very helpful kiwi leader told me with a straight face that the river was round – and we’d just paddle back. That was all the answer we were given – and I was inclined to believe this was the case, however improbable it may seem. We were pleasantly surprised then when a jetboat arrived to pick us up. Generally these jetboats ferry passengers back to base – in this case we were treated to a surprise jetboat experience. It seems there’s a rafting/jetboat combo, and some of the group we paddled with had purchased that option. It’s a case of one in, all in. If only a couple of passengers on a trip order the combo everyone gets upgraded (shame airlines don’t offer the same level of service). We scored. All morning I’d been watching these boats hoon past with a sense of envy. We were given the run down at the outset – these boats sport twin Lexus V8 engines, at full speed they glide in just one inch of water. They’re aluminium, with the walls just 4mm thick. Our very experienced driver had been handling the boats, and the rapids, from the age of 13. This would have been comforting to know before he’d hurtled upstream drifting towards and away from the rockface at incredible speeds. There are photos of these boating adventures (or there will be soon) in the picasa album.
Hanmer Springs is a nice little village – and it’s easy to picture it filling up during ski season. Hopefully the coffee improves during peak time. We didn’t manage to find anything spectacular – and suffered through a couple of shockers picked up in pubs. Even if a pub advertises its coffee on its roadside A-frame it’s unlikely to be good coffee. I can say that now, with the benefit of hindsight.

January 9, 2009

Arthur’s Pass

Day two of our New Zealand adventure (we’re now on day three for those who came in late…) saw us hit the road in our Mitsubishi 4WD hire car. We travelled from Christchurch to Arthur’s Pass stopping for an unexplainable number of one lane bridges. Seriously. How hard is it to build a two lane bridge?

Driving out of Christchurch past a number of farms we were struck by New Zealand’s fencing method of choice – a large hedge. We’d noticed it from the air coming in. Every farm we went past had hedged boundaries. It looks cool from the air – but more impressive on land. Speculation as to why they’re there came up with a number of nefarious solutions – probably the pick of the bunch was that they were actually “smack farms” where parents could go to punish unruly progeny. Smacking is illegal in New Zealand.

The other thing I noticed (other than the rolling hills, mountains, creeks, lakes and valleys) was that New Zealand – or at least this stretch of road (and the stretch travelled today) has a lack of roadside advertising. There were no billboards. None. I wonder if this is a result of legislation – or just because there aren’t that many people interested in advertising. I suspect the former. Given tourism’s significant slice of the economic pie in New Zealand I suspect there are a number of “keep New Zealand beautiful” strategies – possibly including a ban on billboards. I’ll look that up later.

It was very cold yesterday – the car’s thermometer had the outdoor temperature hovering around the 10 degree mark – I don’t think that took wind chill factor into account. It was cold.

Coffee enroute came courtesy of a small cottage cafe called “Espress yourself” – I am of the opinion that there is a very limited number of coffee puns appropriate for cafes.

Espress Yourself - coffee in a cottage

By the time we got there I was deep into caffeine withdrawal. The headache was a killer. I ordered a bowl of coffee.

The 50c piece is there for scaling purposes

Robyn scored the coffee here a 6/10 I think. She’s pretty fussy these days. We’ve had her doing video reviews at each stop – but she won’t let me post them online.

Today sees us in Hamner Springs – where the other four have taken a horse trek. While I, not relishing the thought of four days of post horse pain, have chosen to explore the little village – and here I sit, posting this. I should probably go collect the others now.

January 7, 2009

Christchurch

We’ve spent our first couple of days in New Zealand in and around the city known by airlines all over the globe as Chch. Actually that’s not true. By Australian standards we’ve been around it – but two hours travel in New Zealand is a relatively long distance. In the truest sense of the word. Relatively that is. Whether or not it’s the truest sense of the word distance is a subjective matter and for you, the reader, to decide.

Christ's church?

Christchurch is a city that resonates with me. Maybe it’s the name – which for a Christian is about as theologically “home” as I can be. It feels like Melbourne – or at the very least the block we’re staying in does. Other parts feel decidedly country townish. The fact that the sun doesn’t go down until 10pm makes the CBD feels a bit like a ghost town.

Christ's church? Even the pubs get on theme in Christchurch.

The surprisingly large number of cafes and restaurants are still closed for the Christmas period adds to that effect. But there are some nice bars, cafes and pubs within the immediate vicinity of our accommodation, and a nice creek/river/brook running through parks around the city centre making the city aspect altogether pleasing. Trams are another similarity with Melbourne. The restaurant tram would be an interesting experience I’m sure – but our desire to see New Zealand without breaking the bank meant tonight’s dinner at least was bolognese – with the ingredients picked up at the local “Pak’n’Save”… which is a grocery experience unrivalled by anything I’ve seen in Australia.

I mentioned the Honey Pot in my last post – but their open grill sandwhiches deserve another plug for outstanding flavour combinations, especially the homemade chutney.

The appropriately named "Joe Bloggs" - Chicken, bacon, brie, mayo and mushrooms

The coffee on the other hand – in this case a cappuccino – came garnished with so much chocolate powder Robyn suggested spooning it off to make hot chocolate back in our hotel room.

Robyn still scored this a generous 7/10

Last night’s dinner was at a Chinese restaurant with a generic, forgetable name. Having a Chinese speaker (or a learner) at the table with us was an advantage – the Chinese pages of the menu were designed to obfuscate dishes the owner felt westerners like us would not appreciate. The helpful waiter recommended the place up the road if we were on the lookout for authentic Chinese cuisine. But we stayed. The crispy duck was sensational – as duck is wont(on) to be. The Chinese beer – the Tsingtao – was also good.

Mother duck said "quack, quack, quack, quack" and one less little ducky came back

I told Robyn’s little sister that we’d book some haunted accommodation to really make her first (and mine) overseas jaunt extra dramatic. She’s a dramatic person. There’s a wind tunnel type effect creating ghost noises outside our room at Living Space – and we had to furnish the room with our own ghosts to complete the experience.

Who you going to call?

Today we made the trek to Arthur’s Pass – from the comfort of our car. I’ll have none of that stuff the kiwis call “tramping” on my holiday. I’ll have to write about that later – we’re off to Hamner Springs early on the morrow.

January 6, 2009

Mallrats

I was walking through Pacific Fair today. It was jam packed. From carpark to K-mart – everywhere was teeming with busy consumerism. And I liked it. Despite what the hippies might say. I buy therefore I am. With that out of the way (and without revealing any purchases made ahead of my family-in-law’s Christmas celebrations in the brighter hours of this morning), I was struck by a thought as I ducked and weaved through the crowds holding tightly to my wife’s hand. Nay. I was struck by three thoughts…

1. There are literally billions of people in this world who I will never ever meet, but may walk past fleetingly in a shopping centre. That could be my sole interaction with them. Ever. Being in the same place at the same time. Competing for that single spare space in the car park – a coincidental intersection in the space time continuum. That is mind boggling. Each of these people has a life, a history, a story of their own… and each has a different reason for being at the shops at the same time as me. Robyn and I were sitting in one of Pacific Fairs many food courts tittering at the idea of standing on the table and doing some street evangelism. What would the police say as they dragged me away on trumped up public nuisance charges? I do like to watch people as they walk around and judge them by their clothes, snippets of conversation and the way they discipline their children. I like to speculate what their life story is. What life is like for them. Why they’re buying 50 rolls of no frills single ply toilet paper in one go (that sentence could do with some hyphenating). Nobody needs that much TP. People watching is fun. I can almost understand the tantalising appeal of reality television at that point. Almost. Only real life is more fun.

2. Krispy Kreme deserve to be famous for their coffee – not just their donuts. Their stores are always immaculately kitted out with cutting edge coffee machinery – and staff who seem to know their way around a Mazzer grinder and aLa Marzocco machine. I guarantee Krispy Kreme will produce a better coffee than any other global franchise. They leave Starbucks and Gloria Jeans for dead. Every Krispy Kreme store I’ve been too has the same coffee kit – and it works like a charm.

3. If I ran a candy store I would be as happy as a kid in a candy store. Lolly shops are great. I’ve only been to one or two in my time that had an owner straight out of Roald Dahl’s “Boy” – a sour, dour old person. Lolly shops seem to attract nice people. How could you not be happy surrounded by so much sugar? If I weren’t so enamored with the other careers I plan to pursue then I would quite happily start up a lolly shop/cafe.

3a. Simply because I want to add an extra point while adhering to my “three points” promise – I’d like to point out that cookie shops always smell the best of all. I love the smell of fresh cookies at cookie man. That must surely be their sole marketing pitch. Krispy Kreme at Pacific Fair hand out little paper hats to children so they’ll wear them as their parents shop. At least their unruly behaviour may draw the eye of passers by. Cookie Man doesn’t need such trivialities. They have an aromatic weapon that works like the pied pipers flute. I did hear at a tourism industry workshop with Tom O’Toole – owner of the Beechworth Bakery – that one of their successful initiatives was to pump the smells from the bakery kitchen out onto the street. If I were to start up a lolly shop/cafe I’d have to think up a similar scheme.

January 3, 2009