Category: Consciousness

How to write a poetic media release

I put out my last media release an hour before I finished work last Friday. It was about a new regional economic development planning framework. It was a pretty big deal for us so I was thrilled that our Economic Development boss let me put out a media release containing the following:

“This will be a map, a guideline for the future, comprehensively,” she said (as a Haiku).

And this.

“We will be working with representatives from the regions to consider the next 20 years of development in North Queensland.”

“The goal is to ensure that our services and infrastructure are developed strategically in order to meet future demand,” she said (as a vaguely rhyming pair of sentences).”

And then this passage inspired by the governator’s veto.

January 26, 2010

Bible stories for boys: Samson

I finished my “cool stories from the Bible” kid’s talk series at church this morning with the story of Samson. Before I get onto posting the story there were a heap of cool parallels between Jesus and Samson that I didn’t cover in this story – he’s betrayed by someone close and taken to enemy headquarters for the purpose of mockery before dying to save God’s people. I covered the last bit – but not so much the betrayal/public spectacle. Check it out.

Do you want to grow up with big muscles? I do. Have you ever seen those really big strong warrior guys who have arms so muscled that they look like they could lift just about anything? Do you want to be strong? Well, today’s story is about the world’s strongest man.

His name was Samson. We’ll start this story before he was born. Samson’s mum was old and didn’t think she could have babies. But an angel came to visit Samson’s parents to give them some good news.

The angel told them that they would have a special baby. Who would be set apart for God. This baby was not allowed to cut his hair. And he would grow up to save Israel from their enemies. By being big and strong.

Samson grew up to be big and strong. One day a lion attacked him and he ripped it apart with his bare hands.

One day he went out to fight the Philistines. He tied a fiery torch between the tails of 300 jackals – animals a bit like wild dogs – and sent them running, with their tails tied together into the Philistine’s farms – burning all their food. He was very clever. Then he killed lots of them.

Samson was so cool. He was a bit like Batman. He lived in a cave.

The Philistines didn’t like Samson very much. They got an army together to march to Israel to demand they hand Samson over to them. They wanted to kill him.

So the nation of Israel decided to hand Samson over to the Philistines. They tied him up. But do you know what happens when you tie up a really strong person? They flex their muscles. And the ropes break.

So that’s what Samson did. He was surrounded by Philistines. He broke the ropes. He escaped. But he didn’t have a weapon. So he picked up a donkey jawbone from a nearby skeleton.

And he used it to kill 1,000 Philistines.

Samson got into a bit of a pickle. He trusted a lady Philistine – who wanted to kill him…

He loved this lady Delilah – so eventually he told her his secret. And she betrayed him. The Philistines cut his hair while he was asleep.

Then they captured him and poked out his eyes. And they turned him into a slave.

The Philistines were so excited to have caught Samson they decided to have a party.

They brought Samson up to humiliate him.

Fancy buildings in those days were held up by stone pillars. Samson asked the guards to place him between the pillars so that he could stand up. And he prayed to God to give him strength one more time. His hair was growing back.

Samson prayed to God, and then reached out his hands and placed them on the two pillars. He pushed. And pushed.

He pushed with all his strength and the whole building came down. As he pushed he prayed “let me die with the Philistines”. And he did.

And you know what, Samson was very strong, but he actually wasn’t the world’s strongest man.

Do you know who is? Samson stretched out his arms and died so that other people. God’s enemies. Would die.

Jesus died so that God’s enemies would become God’s friends. So they could live. And he came back from the dead. Samson couldn’t do that. Jesus is the world’s strongest man. His strength is enough to save you, and me, and the whole world. Samson couldn’t do that.

Samson might have been really cool because he lived in a cave – but Jesus is heaps cooler because he came back to life in a cave. And he’s heaps stronger because by doing that he saves the whole wide world – including you, and me.

The End.

January 24, 2010

I’m officially unemployed…

As of 5.30pm yesterday I am officially no longer employed in the secular workforce. My employment status in the unsecular workforce is undetermined (I have to fill out some forms and get a medical before the Presbyterian Church will pay me to be a student).

We’re leaving for Brisbane on Thursday, we should arrive on Friday. We still have some packing and cleaning to do, and myriad farewells and goodbyes to say.

I loved my job at Townsville Enterprise. I’ll miss both the work and the people.

I scored a good bit of swag in the leaving process. It’s a strange thing that employers give gifts to people who leave and not to those who stay. I scored a watch, my iPhone and some cufflinks. I was blown away by the generosity of my employers and the nice things they said about me.

I managed to keep my tough guy veneer in check though.

Unemployment does have its benefits though – I can now say whatever I want about people, places and businesses in Townsville – and will be doing so with my own hottest 100 (things to do in Townsville) which I’ll start writing in the car as we drive to Brisbane.

January 23, 2010

10 WordPress Plugins I love

I love WordPress for much the same reason that I love Firefox (and almost the same reason that I love the iPhone – except that it’s not Open Source). Plugins. Plugins make the world go around. There are 8070 WordPress Plugins in existence today. That’s a lot. They do a lot of stuff.

I’ve found ten that I will install on any blog or website I build using WordPress – and I’m planning to use WordPress for any blog or website I build ever. A few of them do almost exactly the same thing. But I keep them installed as a permanent testing phase for cool things I can use elsewhere.

These aren’t in order of usefulness or importance. They’re all good. I’ve left off all the popular ones that everybody should install straight off the bat (the Akismet spam filter, WP-Super Cache, and anything SEO related (I use this one)). These are the fun ones that make your life easier and your blog better.

  1. Post Highlights – The little box on the right of my homepage with nice pictures and a link to an old post is produced using this plugin, there are a couple of options that do the same thing – but this one didn’t clash with a couple of my other plugins. So I installed it.
  2. Sexy Bookmarks – The little icons at the bottom of each post which let you share my work with the world via a bunch of popular bookmark services come courtesy of this baby. They look nice. I like them. I’d like more people to press them.
  3. Shashin – I installed this last weekend. It’s a great Picasa to WordPress plugin. It’s really easy to use.
  4. Insights – this bad boy lets you search old blog posts with ease while you’re creating a new post. It means if I want to link to something I’ve written a long time ago I don’t have to search through the archives using the site search feature and then copy the link… it also lets you search other blogs, for videos, for images (from Flickr), for News, Wikipedia articles and books…
  5. IntenseDebate – I know some people hate my comment platform. But it’s the way of the future – and you can just deal with it or get on board. IntenseDebate lets you link your comments to your Facebook Profile, Twitter Account, IntenseDebate Account, or just your website. It lets people rate your comments. It has its own plugins. And it lets you embed YouTube videos into your comments. I like it.
  6. Sliding Panel – has anybody ever hit the little thing that says “open” in the black menu bar at the top of the page? No? Oh well, if you had you would have found a really cool jquery powered sliding panel. It looks nice opening and shutting. I could just sit there and do it all day.
  7. Twitter Tools – When I decided to re-enter the world of Twitter I did it using this plugin that has so many features that I’m unlikely to use. But its core functionality is also really useful. Especially if you’re like me – and want the benefit of posting your content onto Twitter without the hassle of actually visiting the site.
  8. Wibiya Plugin – You can never have too many options to let people share or search your content can you? Wibiya is the little bar that sits on the bottom of the page. I’ve had it installed for ages. I’m not sure that anybody actually uses it. But if you bothered you’d be surprised at how handy it is.
  9. Post Star Ratings – This puts the stars at the bottom of the posts so that you can tell me if you like, or don’t like, what I’ve written without having to navigate the commenting system. It’s similar to I Like This except that giving a post one star is a way to voice your displeasure.
  10. What would Seth Godin Do – I like the idea of converting people who land on a post via Google into people who subscribe to everything I have to say. So I installed this plugin that welcomes first time visitors with a nice little message and an invitation to subscribe.

Do you use WordPress already? Have you got any favourites that aren’t on the list?

January 23, 2010

Status Memes: Compare, contrast, and do neither

Two different statuses quoting the same statistics…

asked Jesus,”How much do you love me?” Jesus replied “This much”, and stretched his arms on the cross and died. If you believe in God put this in your status. 97% of you won’t put this in your status. When Jesus died on the cross he was thinking of you. 3% of you will stand up for him and put this in your status!!!

97% of teens would cry if they saw Robert Pattison (Edward Cullen from Twilight) standing on top of a sky scraper, about to jump. If you’re one of the 3% who would sit there eating pop corn screaming “DO A FLIP YOU SPARKLY F$#%^T!” then copy and paste this as your status haha this is funny!

There’s something fishy going on here.

So I wrote this one. I kind of hope it starts a Facebook revolution:

97% of status updates are from the 3% of people who copy and paste or follow the crowd. Come up with original and interesting stuff about yourself or stop thinking your status is making a difference. Facebook is for self promotion and posting of embarrassing pictures. Not for sharing your knowledge of the radio alphabet and stupid statistics. If you’re sick of the degeneration of Facebook statuses don’t copy this.

January 20, 2010

Sharing is caring

Because I like experimenting with just about every feature you can add to a website (this may well come in handy one day when someone asks “how can I get people to be able to share my stuff on Facebook without copying and pasting a link”) I’ve added a little “share on Facebook” button to the top right of each post. This is pretty cool. It lets you post stuff you like straight to your profile so that all your friends can also read it. And it keeps track of how many times something has been shared. If there is no little speech bubble above the button with a number in it it’s because nobody has shared the link.

Here are four reasons you should click the “share on Facebook” button.

  1. It will make me feel better about myself.
  2. It will make the number change.
  3. It will get more people coming to this page who will then click the button to make me feel good.
  4. Those people will think you’re brilliant and capable of finding all sorts of funny things on the Internet. You can vicariously benefit from my dedicated procrastination.

I don’t know how long I’ll keep it. But I haven’t culled any of the other plugins or things I’ve installed to get more people here – even if I’m the only person who clicks and shares my stuff. It’ll be depressing if things only ever get shared once (especially if that once is by me) so at that point I might remove it. But seriously, without trying to clamour desperately for your attention, how hard is it to click on a star (you don’t even have to like the post to do this), and click on a button once in a while?

If you are reading this, and you have a Facebook profile (which you need to be able to share the post on Facebook), and you’re not a fan of St. Eutychus yet – then do yourself me yourself a favour and get on board the juggernaut.

January 20, 2010

Biblical Sightations

A weapons manufacturer for the U.S military has come under fire for including inscriptions that cite Bible passages on their sights.

A separation of powers spokesperson said the following:

“It allows the Mujahedeen, the Taliban, al Qaeda and the insurrectionists and jihadists to claim they’re being shot by Jesus rifles.”

Jesus did say he didn’t come to bring peace but a sword – although I suspect this misses the figurative sense he was speaking in…

January 19, 2010

Realty Check

Robyn shared some of our moving woes in her post yesterday. Not to be outdone I wrote a complaint letter. Complete with thinly veiled threats that only a PR person working for one of Townsville’s most publicised organisations can get away with…

To give some context – this is a copy of the letter the Real Estate Agent sent us yesterday:

Dear Robyn and Nathan,

Re: Our address

As per phone conversation today, you have been advised that an extension to vacate has been declined.

We respectfully wish to advise that if you do not hand keys back on the 27/01/2010, we have been instructed by the Lessor to lodge a claim against you with the Small Claims Tribunal, this will also go against your permanent rental history.

You were notified on the 26/11/2009 that you had to hand the keys back on the 27/01/2010.

Please feel free to contact the office if you require further information in relation to this matter.

Yours Faithfully,

J0hn Gr1bb1n Realty PTY LTD.

Here ’tis. I’ve replaced some letters with numbers just to avoid this coming up on google in the next few days. Once we’re out of there I’ll change it back for the world to see.

Dear J0hn Gr1bb1n, Karen Ernest and any other relevant staff,

Following a further phone call today regarding our exit of the property at <address> I thought I should put an official response in writing on the record.

My wife Robyn and I have been tenants at the Diprose Street Property since August 2007. We have paid the rent on time every week, have had the property inspected regularly with only minor issues to be corrected after each inspection (eg the dusting of a fan, floor mats under chairs etc). Despite one (I believe) official written warning about the placement of our wheelie bins on the curb, I consider us to have been good tenants who are above reproach.

The same could not be said of our lessor. I wish to place this note on the record – but would ask that it not be mentioned to the landlord until we have vacated the property. I am concerned that if the decision is left up to him we will not receive our due bond back after vacating the property, and I will be carefully documenting any discussions regarding our bond in order to make a case with the RTA if I feel these concerns are warranted.

We have reported minimal maintenance issues in our time in the property – and when we have the response has been less than timely on the behalf of the lessor.

For example, our rangehood cover detached within two months of us occupying the property due to some construction issues – a cupboard door opens into the range hood and disturbs it (we did not mistreat or “swing off” the cover as alleged by our landlord). Despite our timely reporting of this issue the maintenance has not taken place some years later.

We reported a dripping hot water tap in our shower which was not fixed for over a month – costing us money in electricity bills.

Living on site with the landlord has proved a terrible experience – so much so that I will be doing all that I can to make people aware of the situation at Diprose Street. I am not without resources in this department (as you might surmise from my signature block). Let me give you some examples of situations that have been less than professionally handled by our lessor – to the point that I requested that if he must address us in person he address me, and not my wife. Based on some telephone exchanges with your staff over the years I surmise that some of them feel similarly about dealing with the lessor in question.

Some time ago one of the other tenants in the property had a fire, their barbeque caught alight and caused some damage to the property. The lessor, when conducting maintenance on a dripping toilet, told us about the situation. And then yelled at us in a threatening manner about how these properties were his, he built them, and how he would not tolerate damage of this nature.

My wife’s father is a mechanic by trade, and on a visit (about 18 months ago) he changed the oil on my car. He is also a farmer and has a disposal barrel for oil and waste on the farm. He took the oil home with him to dispose of carefully, leaving a drip tray next to our bins on the garden bed to be disposed of in the wheelie bin the following week. Our lessor jumped to the conclusion that we had poured the oil in the garden bed. Berating my wife with an abusive and aggressive tone (leaving her close to tears) and refusing to listen to any response. He promised to monitor the trees and extract the money from us if they died. There has been no subsequent apology or acknowledgment that he was incorrect in his assumption.

These standover tactics are uncalled for – and not fitting of the lessor/lessee arrangement. This is just a snapshot of life at <address> and serves to explain the trepidation we feel regarding our bond handover and the disappointment we felt upon receiving your letter dated 15 January 2010. The phone call referred to in paragraph one of the letter included a promise from myself to pay whatever amount is generated by us overstaying our lease by one day. The threat (attributed to the Lessor in the letter) to lodge a claim against us to the Small Claims Tribunal seems unnecessary and heavy handed, as does a threat to tarnish our permanent rental history on his behalf.

While I agree that we were notified on the 26th of the 11th regarding the date for us to hand our keys back there are mitigating circumstances in our request for a one day extension. We are relocating to Brisbane. The removalist we selected after obtaining a series of quotes (which we started doing early in the piece) closed down over the Christmas Period and only reopened last Wednesday. They had not advised us of their ability to collect our belongings on our preferred date (the 25th of January) prior to closing for Christmas – and it was not until last week that we learned they were unable to make the collection until the 27th. We are seeking to do the right thing by our Lessor, and by you, by having the carpets and blinds professionally cleaned after our furniture is removed. This is not possible until the afternoon of the 27th (we have booked both services). I believe a one day extension in this case is not only reasonable but warranted. The refusal, on behalf of the lessor, seems petty. But I would expect no less having lived under his gaze, and spoken to fellow tenants, over the past two years.

Please be advised that if the situation regarding our bond, the Small Claims Tribunal, or our rental history transpires in a less than adequate manner I will be using whatever means I have at my disposal to make our dissatisfaction with the process a matter of the public record. I do not want any future tenants to experience the pain we have without fair warning.

Yours Sincerely,

Nathan Campbell
Corporate Communications Executive
T0wnsvi11e Enterprise Limited

January 19, 2010

Leaving home.

I don’t know if many of you have moved in and out of rentals.  I assume quite a few of you have. Nobody ever refers to it as an enjoyable experience. Because it’s not. But it’s not usually all that bad either. At least that’s what I thought until our latest real estate experience.

I’d like to think that I’ve approached the rental real estate* game with some experience. We’re currently in my fourth rental in Townsville. It’s the first one we’ve ever had through this particular agency though, and that, I think is the difference.

You see, it’s time to move out. And aside from the mountain of packing and cleaning** that comes with moving out of a rental there’s a  plethora of professionals to coordinate along with the move.

Enter first dilemma. Inflexible trucking company.  Now, I totally understand that they have a schedule to run and they’re coordinating multiple pickups and drivers etc. Actually, the trucking company we’re going with has been excellent so far. They’ve promptly replied to any questions and messages I’ve left, given me up to date information and seem reasonably priced. Hopefully they’ll do the pick up and drop off well and then I’d be more than happy to recommend them to others.  The trucking company isn’t the source of our problems but have unknowingly become a contributor to them. You see, they can’t come any day in the week we need to move except the 27th of January. Our keys need to be handed into the real estate by 10am on this day. Problem.

At this point I tried to negotiate a different day/time for the trucking company to come, which came to no avail. This left me with the real estate agent and the departure date of the 27th. I spoke with the real estate agency, politely explained our situation and asked if we would be able drop the keys off one day later. I spoke to a receptionist rather than the property manager. My mistake. The receptionist said that we “probably wouldn’t be able to” but they’d ask the property manager. Late the next day, after my second call, the agency rang through to say that our request had been declined by the owner.  At this point Nathan rang through and explained that we’d be happy to pay the day’s worth of rent and that it was a situation we couldn’t do too much about. The real estate agency then gave us the go ahead for the new exit date of the 28th. Fantastic. I rang the trucking company and carpet cleaners to make final confirmations and pay deposits as required. Mistake number two: Trusting a real estate agency.

Now, we thought we had things sorted. Well organised. Under control. Until this evening. When we stumble upon a letter in the mailbox.  From our real estate agent. Saying, in quite polite terms, that our request had been denied. And that if we don’t hand the keys in on the original date then we’d be taken to the Small Claims Tribunal and would have it recorded as a black mark on our rental record. Seriously. In all honesty I don’t think you could get much better tenants than us. We pay our rent early. We look after the place. We don’t cause trouble or noise in the neighbourhood. But no, this delightful real estate agency thinks it’s okay to throw this upon us. They’re not even losing any money.

This is utterly ridiculous.

End of rant.

*I’m deliberately leaving out the name of the real estate agent in the event that they google themselves. We’ve had quite a bit of trouble with them and simply can’t take any more.

** My mother-in-law and littlest sister-in-law very graciously gave up quite a few days of their time to help us pack and clean. Their help has been invaluable.

January 18, 2010

Five things I’m looking forward to about Brisbane

I’ve only got four days of work left. And we’ve only got 10 days left in Townsville. Which is sad – and worthy of much reflection.

But there are some things I’m really looking forward to about life in Brisbane (even though we’ll be living in Student poverty). You should assume that most of these include the addendum “with my hot wife“…

  1. Studying the Bible (and other stuff) with other people at QTC.

  2. Working with Andrew, Simone, Pete and Mel at Clayfield Presbyterian.

  3. Living in Grovely close to my three sisters*, parents and grandma, and next door to the Lyndons.

  4. Playing (outdoor) football with (rather than against) Pete.

  5. Exploring the Brisbane coffee scene and trying out my new roaster (which I still haven’t used because we’ve got so much coffee left over from Stable on the Strand.

* For those who don’t know yet – little sister number 1 just got a job as a dentist in Brisbane (today) having been in Toowoomba. I don’t think she reads my blog – but congrats anyway little sister number 1. It’ll be fun having the whole family together.

January 18, 2010

A desk job

Simone tagged me in a meme. I don’t like memes but I get tagged in too few of them to take a stance. So here’s my desk, for the next four days and two hours.

These were taken with my iPhone and without much care.

I tag Amy (because she asked for it) and Anna (because she’s a professional student so it might be inspiring).

January 18, 2010

The Links Effect – Posts you should read.

January 18, 2010

Things that make you go awww…

McDonalds makes you go “mmm” then “urgh”… Lego just makes you go “hmm” and then “ahh”, and this little video made me go “aww”.

This Lego ad in the guise of a short film is possibly the greatest thing ever put on YouTube. It made me smile and feel all warm and gooey inside. And if I had my childhood Lego collection in the house I would be playing with it now instead of sharing it with you.

January 17, 2010

Photographic Memories

I had a little victory today. And I want you to know about it. If you’ve ever scrolled all the way to the bottom of the page here on the blog you may have noticed five Polaroid style pictures. Up until now three of them were the same photo, and the other two didn’t ever change. But no longer. With some coding wizardry and the help of Shashin – a great little Picasa plugin – these five slots will now be filled with five different random images from a Picasa album.

Very exciting.

I’m pretty happy with my efforts.

Here’s a sample.

January 17, 2010

Eutychus in the Brick Testament

Pop quiz. You know that a figure has reached sainthood when a) they complete two miracles, or b) they are featured in the Brick Testament…

I’m going with b.

January 16, 2010