Category: Consciousness

Bowing to peer pressure

Everyone is writing soppy lists about their spouses. Simone started it. Soph, Ben, and Amy followed.

They want me to join in. I thought about it. I commented on Simone’s last post saying these lists were gay. I didn’t mean gay in a good way.

I thought about writing a list of things I don’t like about my wife (she steals the blankets)… I would have written a list like “I hate that she just has to look at me and I immediately agree with her”… but then I thought it would be all too similar to a Heath Ledger movie. And he’s dead, so I can’t say nasty things about him or his work.

I thought about making my list satirically soppy filled to the brim with gory details. We all know how I feel about oversharing and this whole trend treads perilously close to that mark.

But here, because Ben said I was a big girl’s blouse if I didn’t, is a list of things I love about my wife. So here are ten things. It’s not an exhaustive list.

  1. She loves God.
  2. She loves me.
  3. She is cute.
  4. She is funny. And laughs at my jokes.
  5. She encourages me.
  6. She wants to serve others, but also is prepared to tell me when I’ve over committed.
  7. She is mega-organised (and I am not).
  8. She will provide any children we have with athletic genes so they won’t run last at school.
  9. She likes coffee.
  10. She started posting here again because I told her that I like it when she does.

Amy gets points because her list about Tim is 20 points long.

New scambaiting post up

Apologies to feed readers who have already had to wade through a pile of text documenting my latest attempt to procure some photos from a scammer… it’s a long one. Appropriately called “the longest scambaiting post ever” and I’m actually about 25% confident that it will eventually bear fruit. It’s not over yet.

Letter to the Prime Minister

I sent the following email to the Prime Minister. Please feel free to join me in this campaign.

———- Forwarded message ———-
From: Nathan Campbell
Date: 2009/10/21
Subject: Petition to allow the import of Pygmy HedgehogsDear Prime Minister Kevin Rudd,

In last Saturday’s Courier Mail a story (attached) ran depicting the Pygmy Hedgehog. The Pygmy Hedgehog, or African Pygmy Hedgehog, is very small and cute. As you’ll see in the picture from the attached article. It is also illegal to own one as a pet in Australia, and to import them (according to the Department of Environment Exotic Animal Guide).

I write to petition you to allow the import of these animals into Australia because they are very cute and would make good pets.

They are, as I mentioned, very small and unlikely to pose as a threat to natural wildlife if released into the wild (but who would release a pet this cute into the wild).

They eat a balanced diet of insects and cat food.

The reason Wikipedia gives (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Domesticated_hedgehog) for many countries not allowing pygmy hedgehogs is that they can carry “foot in mouth” disease.

I’m sure that you, as politicians, can relate to this disease and understand that it is no big deal as the news cycle only lasts a couple of days and then slip-ups are forgotten.

Foot in mouth disease, and hedgehogs (if eaten), may also help to eradicate the cane toad.

Foot-in-mouth disease is also carried by many other animals. Including Deer. Which according to that same exotic animal checklist (http://www.environment.gov.au/biodiversity/trade-use/exoticanimalguide/list.html) are able to be imported.

These are just a sampling of the reasons that you should consider to allow the import of these hedgehogs.

At the end of the day the equation is very simple. The cuteness of these animals far outweighs any negatives as either a biosecurity issue or environmental impact.

If you are not able to allow the import of Pygmy Hedgehogs at this time could you please advise what steps must be taken to one day enable Australian pet owners the basic human right to own whatever animal we please. This right was established in the Christian creation account in Genesis. In prohibiting the import of this animal you are limiting our right to exercise dominion over creation. I know you are both Christian men so you will understand the importance of this.

I have CC’d the Australian Christian Lobby’s Jim Wallace in the hope that this matter will become part of the ACL policy platform. As you can tell I am keen to explore all possible avenues of persuasion in order to buy one of these for my wife. She isn’t sick or dying so I can’t tug on your heart strings. But she does love animals. And I think this would be a fantastic Christmas present.

I look forward to receiving your response.

Yours faithfully,

Nathan Campbell
Townsville

PS. I didn’t vote for you last time – so I’ll understand if you don’t want to help me. But allowing the import of these hedgehogs would sway my vote this time. They are better looking than Malcolm Turnbull.

Courier Mail Clipping

Cubic children

One of my students trapped himself into the newspaper cubic metre model that we built during our maths lesson. It was funny. The extraction of said child from the model while trying to preserve the integrity of the model proved quite challenging.

Certifiable apology

When you make outrageous claims like I do, with the frequency that I do, you will offend someone. It’s only a matter of time. Or statistics.

As the number of absolute claims made increases the probability of offending someone approaches one. I could make a graph about it.

Or I could draw your attention to this handy apology that you can just fill in as the need arises.

Knowing me, knowing you… the Izaac Edition

I don’t know if this will become a regular feature… but it might. I’ve been thinking a bit about the intersection between blog life and real life. And these thoughts were stirred by Izaac when, in the comments of a recent post, he revealed how he “knows” me.

Of all the bloggers in the blogosphere (except Paul, but he never updates) I have known Izaac the longest (again, unless you count dad’s design blog… I guess…).

Here’s the story (as told by Izaac)…

“I grew up with Nathan in Maclean. He introduced me to Phantom comics – which I borrowed regularly for about 6 months until I lost interest. We had games of touch football or cricket every week after church in the church grounds until they installed a drain and a kid’s play area, which put an end to that. As Nathan was the year above me at school I think we bonded more as we got older – including after his family moved to Mitchelton. A select few of us have kept in touch from those days – I think Nathan may have trouble making new friends (he’s gonna love that one). I randomly appeared at his 21st birthday because though living in Sydney I was doing a radiography prac at the Gold Coast. I helped build the steps in his parentals front yard as well as wheelbarrowing in woodchips into the garden. On the said mentioned trip he introduced me to ‘black books’ which I didn’t find particularly funny. He was MC at my wedding. I returned the favour. S and I are about to visit Nathan and Robyn in Townsville. He couldn’t convince me to come to Brisbane to do Bible College together. He will name his first born son after anyone but me.”

I remember it quite differently.

Izaac was a scrawny little kid with an unnatural ability with a football. Sadly. He was, and is, a St George fan. We used to go camping at Brooms Head at the same time as his family, and we would play touch football together. Though when Beach Mission was on he hung out with the fun teens playing football and I had to go to the boring teens program where they talked about the Bible. I was jealous.

One of my finest memories of Izaac, well, my first memorable memories, was superimposing his head onto a scanned version of a St George player’s head. This picture still sits, framed, in his lounge room. I know that because it was there when we visited last year.

Izaac lived four doors up from Paul on Clarence Street in Maclean. I used to wish I lived on Clarence Street. But it was a big hill. And it would have sucked to walk up it every day on the way home from primary school.

I found a video of Izaac last year when I was making a video for dad’s 50th and another one for little sister number two’s 21st. I will perhaps track it down and post it. On that video Izaac stole my video camera and ran away with it. He was cruel at times. But he was funny so I forgave him. And he once borrowed my Backstreet Boys CD. Yes. I owned a Backstreet Boys CD. Yes. It is something I feel ashamed about.

Here’s a photo of Izaac MCing at my wedding. He’s the one with the microphone.

On our visit to Sydney last year we managed to coincide our trip with one of his preaching engagements for the year. He was good. I think he’ll make a very capable minister, though I’m sad I couldn’t convince him to come to Brisbane for college. We had a good time with him, and his wife, who on the internet is known as S (I know her real name. That’s how close we are) we showed them bits of Sydney that I remembered from childhood – like the Mediterranean dessert place in Croydon Park, and Reverse Garbage. Then I went to a football game with Izaac and stood with the crazy St George army while they insulted Rabbitohs fans.

If you have any questions about Izaac feel free to ask me about him. I consider myself an expert on the topic.

Teachable moments

Simone recently posted this list advising the next generation of some strategies to help them function better  in the classroom and perform more adequately as a human being. I thought I’d posted a reply on her blog but it turns out I hit the wrong button. Better late than never, here is my contribution to the list.

The next 5 things that will help you function better in the classroom and perform more adequately as a human being.

6. It really doesn’t matter who the leader of the line is. Especially in grade 6.

7. Your teacher has no time to look for your lost pencil. Neither will she/he believe that it has simply wandered away. Take a piece of string and tie it to your wrist if it keeps being a problem.

8. Ninety-nine percent of people have complete control over their arms and legs. Your teacher will not believe you when you say your hand jumped off your arm and slapped a girl in the face.

9. Yes, you must finish picking up your bag of rubbish before you attend your playground wedding. Even if you are the groom.

10. Never pin boys down and kiss them. Even if it is your betrothed who was unable to attend your playground wedding because he was picking up papers.

Wave goodbuy?

I scored an invite to Google Wave thanks to Chris – though his blog is defunct and linking to it seems cursory at best.

It seems to be one of those products that will be good once it gets to a critical mass. There’s only so much fun you can have talking to your dad with both of you saying “is this working”…

Once people are using it to collaborate and share files and stuff it’ll be good.

It will just be dangerous if you accidentally type something in one wave that’s meant for another and the person you’re waving to sees it before you delete it. Typing comes up on the screen in real time. Without you needing to submit stuff.

That has the potential to be more embarrassing than reply all.

The interface is really nice and clean, and fairly straightforward. I’ve been flying blind – I haven’t watched any of the video tutorials yet – and so far it has been fairly simple to work out.

If you’ve scored a wave invite you can find my gmail address right at the bottom of the page.

Going shooting

I spent most of last week accompanying a photographer around North Queensland to update our work image library…

Here are some of my photos…

Here are some more

Linked in

LinkedIn is a pretty dumb professional networking tool that takes all the fun out of Facebook. I’m on it somewhere. If you find me I might accept your invitation, but I probably won’t.

I haven’t written a link post for a while. But it’s time. I just discovered that a heap of people I know have blogs that I didn’t know about. And it was pretty much by accident. People should be like me and post links to their blogs on Facebook more…

Anyway, here goes, a list of friends or casual acquaintances, mostly from Brisbane, who have blogs that are pretty amusing. Some I’ve been following for a while, others not so much… I might do it in order of the length of time I’ve been following…

SDAL – Scott’s blog has been on my radar for a while, though I’ve been pretty much a serial lurker. He posted a link on my Facebook status once when I asked if anyone had blogs that I didn’t know about. He blogs about fun stuff like comic books, art, movies and obscure stuff. I think Ben would like him.

Phil Richo is Andrew’s brother and thus Simone’s brother-in-law. He blogs mostly about politics. Which I like. But you might not. If you do. Check him out

I followed Phil’s blog to Brad’s blog. Brad officially falls into the casual acquaintance category because although he linked to one of my posts recently he refused my Facebook advances some time ago. And I hold a grudge. It’s a shame. Because his blog is pretty funny.

The other link on Phil’s blogroll was to Josh Mansfield‘s blog, it was intersting, though I’m not sure why he thinks you shouldn’t say the word crap.

Brad’s blog was a veritable treasure trove of links to others.

Nick Gauci for example has a blog called a wealth of riches, I had a look, it lives up to it’s name.

Richard W has set his sights on having the eighth worst blog ever. Which, given he currently has a few intriguing posts about chemical elements, is unlikely.

Is anybody else out there in lurker land in possession of a blog that should be plugged?

Terminated science

There's stupid research with no grounding in the real world and there's stupid research that gives credence to conspiracy theorists everywhere.

This particular research takes the cake…

In layman's terms the Large Hadron Collider's frequent misadventures (it's still not working) are being attributed to possible sabotage. From time travelers. Sent back in time to prevent it firing up and destroying our future…

Some scientists have produced papers outlining possible tests to make the process of sabotage easier – involving drawing randomly selected cards that say either "close the collider" or "keep running it"…

I'm not joking. Here are links… to the first study, and the second.

A posterous idea

Posterous seems like a pretty nifty service.

Ok, I’ve tried it, it seems to work.

Posterous lets you essentially blog by email – it hosts all media files and syncs with just about every online service I can imagine… like WordPress.

I’m thinking it will be a very useful tool. So useful I’ve set up one account for blogging purposes, and one for personal use, which will probably end up being a scrap book for blogging.

I’m also thinking I might reduce the amount of personal stuff I put up here – so that when tribes of angry atheists come marching through and insulting me they have less stones to throw. Posterous might fill that gap.

Having said that – feel free to check out my posterous page here

Poles apart

Today I didn’t blog much. You’ve noticed right?

Today was one of those days. One of those days that reminds me why it is I love my job.

This week I’m coordinating a photo shoot, so today I took a bunch of friends from church (and my wife, who doesn’t work on Mondays) to Magnetic Island.

We went for a bush walk, to a resort pool, to lunch at the island’s flashest restaurant, and to a backpackers hostel/wildlife park where our eight models were mobbed by rainbow lorikeets. It was pretty scary. For them.

Hilarious for onlookers. I’ll post a photo when we get them…

Tomorrow I’m off to a cattle station for an “outback” experience.

Urgent assistance required

My pet scammer has asked for ten bible verses to include in photographs. Suggestions please…

UPDATE – these are the verses I’m sending…

1. Hosea 11:1 – “When Israel was a child, I loved him, and out of Egypt I called my son.”
2. Jeremiah 13:23 – “Can the Ethiopian change his skin or the leopard its spots? Neither can you do good who are accustomed to doing evil.”
3. Acts 8:27 – “So he started out, and on his way he met an Ethiopian eunuch, an important official in charge of all the treasury of Candace, queen of the Ethiopians. This man had gone to Jerusalem to worship.”
4. Job 30:30 – “My skin grows black and peels; my body burns with fever.”
5. Zechariah 6:6 – “The one with the black horses is going toward the north country, the one with the white horses toward the west, and the one with the dappled horses toward the south.”
6. Acts 19:10 – “This went on for two years, so that all the Jews and Greeks who lived in the province of Asia heard the word of the Lord.”
7. Job 36:31 – “This is the way he governs the nations and provides food in abundance.”
8. Psalm 18:49 – “Therefore I will praise you among the nations, O LORD; I will sing praises to your name.”
9. Leviticus 19:11 – “’Do not steal. ” ‘Do not lie. ” ‘Do not deceive one another.”
10. Deuteronomy 14:19 – “All flying insects that swarm are unclean to you; do not eat them.”

Colbert v Dawkins

Given that (thanks to PZ Myers) 90% of my current visitors are atheists, I’m going to keep writing about atheism.

Here you go, a nice dialogue, between two people, about God… both are smug.

Everybody wants to claim Colbert as one of their own – either he’s a Christian satire, a conservative satire, an actual conservative, or a Christian… He’s probably a mix of all of those. He certainly has a track record of active involvement in church. And he looks like Will Bailey from the West Wing…

Anyway. This made me laugh. If only atheists were really like Richard Dawkins. Online, anyway.

The Colbert Report Mon – Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Richard Dawkins
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor Michael Moore